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This is an absolute religious experience that I was not prepared for

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it’s like this.

if you only have one person in your life that you trust, you probably are always going to turn to that person when something shit happens. as well as whenever something good happens. or anything else. this is not inherently a bad thing, and it’s really beautiful to have someone in your life that you trust so much

but if that person is suddenly busy or going through something difficult themselves or doesn’t have emotional capacity for a while, suddenly there’s a problem. not necessarily through any fault of your own, you don’t have anyone to turn to with as much regularity as you did before

this is true of any kind of relationship. this is true of any kind of coping mechanism, also. the problem is not that you trust that person. the problem is not that you use that coping mechanism. the problem is not even that there’s something wrong with you and that it’s all your fault. the problem is that nothing can be everything

the solution is not to cut off your one trusted person or to cut yourself off from your one trusted coping mechanism. the solution is to do the difficult work of diversifying your life as much as it’s possible for you to do. which is why it sucks so much when external factors prevent you from being able to live a truly diverse life. okay that’s all have a good one

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“the heart wants what it wants”? okay well the heart is fucking stupid can we let someone else have a turn? maybe the spleen wants to have a go?

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i must not take it personal. taking it personal is the mind killer. taking it personal is the little death that brings total oblivion. i will face taking it personal. i will permit it to pass over and through me. and when it has gone past i will turn the inner eye to see its path. when the taking it personal has gone there will be nothing. only i will remain

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there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

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Sam Handwich.

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see this is what ai shouldve been doing from the start

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captcha

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i dont care if mondays blue. tuesday coo and wednesday coo. thursday yea im gonna coo it's friday im a dove

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The longer I exist as a loudly proudly gay man the more I think that cishet men aren't actually attracted to women.

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tumblr is for putting your stuff somewhere that's not secret but also not for anyone particular to see so it's true neutral in a really nice way

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You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

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can we ask about ur family's curse

according to my great grandma it was cast on her grandma by a neighbor with the evil eye - "your daughters will marry their fathers and your sons will become them"

which is really just a fancy way of describing the cycle of abuse and therefore worked very well, generally going into effect before the kid in question turned 21

so my matrilineal family tree winds up a fractured, miserable mess, lots of young marriages and parents falling apart generation after generation, serial toxic marriages with generations of kids scattered across the whole state in foster homes - very nasty stuff

until it gets to me (firstborn in my generation of cousins) and by the time im twenty one i am 1. both daughter and son and neither 2. extremely aspec and queer

which apparently this neighbor did not conceive of when casting her eye and seems to have simply error messaged the curse into oblivion. no one born after me has had this problem. all their romantic relationships are loving (though i would never claim them perfect) and their children adored. fairytale loopholed so hard the damn thing disintegrated. its the funniest magic story i have lmao

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the human mind is prone to catastrophizing when left unoccupied. And that’s why it’s important to always have a little Blorbo to rotate in your head. It acts as a protective charm of sorts to redirect your imagination away from harmful spirals

thoughts without Blorbo: oh my god I was so cringe in seventh grade why did I do that

thoughts with Blorbo: I haven’t considered the interactions with bleebus; I must rectify this immediately