fulfilledexperience

[fulfilledexperience]

Trauma passing down from generations. Subconsciously seeking the same traumas in people- different stories. Im happy but not. I see so much potential in how great life can be but feel torn down constantly. Seeking unrealistic rays of positivity but they feel feasible. That little kid in me is shocked that this is life. No control.

[fulfilledexperience]

by Frank Paul Silye

[fulfilledexperience]

[fulfilledexperience]

Kinosaki, Japan | Nishimuraya Kinosaki Onsen

[fulfilledexperience]

[fulfilledexperience]

How toxic is your family: *mom tries to beat boyfriend up* *we all need to hold her back from punching him*

Family members: "well thats just how mom is!!!!!!!!!"

[fulfilledexperience]

Nothing more toxic then when peers say, "they love you just ignore what she's doing" when dealing with a highly toxic individual

[fulfilledexperience]

Never knew it could get depressing fixing traumas. I'd rather suffer than have my own child deal with the mind games due to me not confronting my Mother. I pray and pray and wish she realized how hard this is for me. It feels like because of her I was forced to have our relationship end up this way.

[fulfilledexperience]

Never knew it could get depressing fixing traumas. I'd rather suffer than have my own child deal with the mind games due to me not confronting my Mother. I pray and pray and wish she realized how hard this is for me. It feels like because of her I was forced to have our relationship end up this way.

[fulfilledexperience]

[fulfilledexperience]

[fulfilledexperience]

[fulfilledexperience]

[fulfilledexperience]

Dreamville - Sleep Deprived

[fulfilledexperience]

Why can't you see that you're hurting me. I tell you you're hurting me and you look at me like I'm crazy. I hate how much I love you how much I yearn for your love even though you break me and make me weak.

[fulfilledexperience]

And is that what makes life so beautiful? So sacred? That everything is temporary in this world and the after life is unknown. Living each day never knowing when it will be the last with a loved one. Being so unsure of what the "right" decision is knowing either could change your life. Perhaps being so aware is nothing to be so joyous about.

[fulfilledexperience]

Being around my boyfriends side of the family, seeing how much more wholesome they are, and how healthy the relationships are breaks my heart. I wish I could provide healthy relationships for him and for our future child. I am so happy to have good in laws. I just wish so bad that the positives out weighed the negatives with my family.

My family is poor at being present with my SO while his family always includes me.

My own mother has never excepted him and has always tried just giving us things as a way to forget her judgemental behavior. She's also tried beating my SO up when we tried calmly approaching her saying how it's been hard to tolerate anymore of the disrespectful treatment for no reason.

My Father and sister enable my Mothers toxicity

My sister is mentally unequipped to form healthy relationships with white people because in quote "people with blonde hair and blue eyes remind me of Dad and I never got along with dad". I know she tries but you can feel the uneasiness when she's around and uncomfortbility.

I pray and ask the Universe to please help me. I feel so lonely. No one on my life can get along with one another. And my body is repelling the people who I thought were healthy for me. I was taught the absolute wrong things of what a healthy relationship is, and now that I have it, and have seen more examples of true healthy relationships it makes it so hard to want to be around my family. It breaks my heart because I know they only know what they can but it's been impossible to just brush off the toxic/negative/unsupportive nature of my family.

I love them so much