fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle - Tumblr blog

[fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle]

Hey, no homo, but I am sitting on the broken swing set out back in the perfect, quiet, 2:00am blackness and picturing the softness of your voice and the darkness of your eyes with such perfect and terrible clarity that it feels like I'm choking on my own heartbeat.

[fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle]

One time I was working as a waiter at a burger joint where the fries were tossed in salt and coriander and as I was bringing food over to the table for these two huge beefy guys one of them asks what the green stuff is so I go "it's coriander" and his friend goes very seriously "he can't have coriander" and I'm thinking shit ok maybe he's allergic and guy 1 starts pulling up his sleeve to show me something and I'm thinking shit shit shit he's probably breaking out in hives rn and it's my fault but he just shows me his arm and he has this huge cursive font tattoo that just says "I fucking hate coriander"

[fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle]

One time I was working as a waiter at a burger joint where the fries were tossed in salt and coriander and as I was bringing food over to the table for these two huge beefy guys one of them asks what the green stuff is so I go "it's coriander" and his friend goes very seriously "he can't have coriander" and I'm thinking shit ok maybe he's allergic and guy 1 starts pulling up his sleeve to show me something and I'm thinking shit shit shit he's probably breaking out in hives rn and it's my fault but he just shows me his arm and he has this huge cursive font tattoo that just says "I fucking hate coriander"

[fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle]

imagine you make microwave popcorn and by wild chance every single kernel has the same exact popping point and after like a minute in the microwave the bag instantly fills up with a single earsplitting gunshot noise would that be fucked up or what

[fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle]

kabru is so fucking funny. he’s out here playing 15 dimensional manipulation mind chess with a guy whose hobby is barking like a dog

[fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle]

[fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle]

girl are you sure???????????????

[fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle]

nobody:

half full water bottle left behind on the floor of a public bus: *rolls around*

[fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle]

starting out strong

[fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle]

[fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle]

this is the best album release of all time because where else are you going to get unironic takes like this and then even get a few hundred people to agree with it

[fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle]

[fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle]

[fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle]

[fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle]

[fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle]

[fullmetalmalcolminthemiddle]

This is from February this year but i'm still really proud of it : )