funemployance-blog

[funemployance-blog]

my extremes

Being funemployed, your perspective of the world shifts between two drastic directions every other day. On one hand, we have dread. With uncertainty about next steps, there’s always some worried thoughts in the back of my mind that I’ll never reach my goals of success. This feeling gets exponentially worse whenever I encounter work of peers that I admire. It’s usually accompanied with pains of self-doubt and a desire to just nap because I’ll never be good enough. On good days, bouts of extreme hype would visit me. Days like this are awesome because I truly believe that anything is possible and that the world is good. I’m on a temporary break and there’s so much going for me. I’m going to pull through and do some fuckin’ amazing shit. My personality has always been plagued by this bounce-back between two extremes. It can be pretty unhealthy due to the lack of consistency, and makes acceptance more difficult when the situation calls for it. I guess this will forever be a work in progress for me. Today I’m feeling the positive end - extremely optimistic and totally feelin’ myself. While I attempt to level the crazy out, I guess I’ll ride this wave and bang out some apps.

[funemployance-blog]

unemployed, again.

I recently quit my first job without a solid plan of next steps. It was the biggest risk I had taken in a long time and most people in the office didn’t quite know what to make of it.

“Why?” “Where are you going?” “What are you going to do?” These were the questions that I was met with as I broke the news to my peers. The truth was I wasn’t 100% sure – I knew why and where I wanted to be. But ideas are ideas, and not real until they’re taken to the next step. In a way, I quit to turn my ideas into reality. When I first started this blog two years ago as a naive, fresh college graduate, I wanted so badly to break into advertising. Any role in advertising would do, so long as I was in the agency world. With some experience behind my back, I’ve since learnt that I’m not suited for Account Management (suit-ed, ha ha).  I pursued an AAE role because I love people. Account Management would enable me to meet a wide range of people, each with their unique perspectives. I grew to understand each of my clients very well, and how best to communicate with the various departments that I worked with on a daily basis. We built solid relationships, and the best part of my Grey experience was ultimately the people.  Despite the positives, it always felt like something my missing in my day to day. About six months into my job, I recognized the issue as my lack of “making” anything. I wanted to ideate and play a bigger role in creating brand experiences that people want to be a part of. I wanted to deep dive into understanding people and the world we live in. As much as advertising gets a bad rep, it plays a quintessential role in driving conversation and I’m excited about all the communication opportunities out there.  For a long while, I thought I wanted to be a Creative. After a couple of opportunities to lead briefings, I realized that my skills allowed me to excel far more in the creative work behind the creative. “Making” does not always imply the final, tangible product. “Making” to me also applies to connections. Uncovering the right connections between people, places & brands, is the seed for ideas to blossom. I want to find those connections. I want to be a strategist. 

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6 Interviews Down

November welcomes month # 4 in this seemingly endless job search. Today I received official rejection e-mails for two jobs that I had interviewed for recently. This marks 3 rejections in total from a single agency. I would be lying if I said I’m not absolutely heartbroken, yet part of me already anticipated this outcome. I hadn’t been absolutely perfect during the interview and if asked, I can definitely point out a few flaws and answers that I would cringe at. Though none of it were large mistakes by any means, perhaps this failure to be my best was what erased me from the position of being the best of the best.  Thinking about giving a perfect interview stresses me out like crazy. I wonder if it’s possible to be “perfect.” But I suppose the candidate who does get chosen must fit that bill to an extent. It kills me that I can’t figure out exactly what aspects I need to work harder on improving upon. I suppose if I really think, I can pick several things to improve but sometimes when placed on the spot, it’s all merely circumstantial.  It’s so damaging to my self confidence. I hate thinking about moving forward and continuing this process, but alas there is no other option. This is a piece of the beginning of forever. Real life sucks.

[funemployance-blog]

Grey Global for Finnair via Helsinki. +Logging into the faves archive.

[funemployance-blog]

the Job Hunt

October 7th. Today marks an approach to 3 months on the job hunt. As my friends all reach their goals one by one, I can’t help but wonder if mine will ever work out. Judging by statistics, the timespan of this whole ordeal is still below average. However, as any jobseeker will know, each passing month can feel like a year. An [employed] friend asked me the other day, what exactly did I do with my time now that I had so much of it. The question pained me; what did I do everyday? Well I obsessively check the job boards as soon as I wake up, scan for openings throughout the day...and then suddenly the sun has set.  It’s strange how days on the search can seem so short yet when we think about them collectively, it feels as if it has been eternity. I might be going insane. Today, I will vow to stop feeling bad about myself and change this whole approach. I can’t control the extent of this job hunt but I can control the way I choose to pass the days leading to the close of it. Today, I start blogging.