funkedup

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mysterious pink haired girl I'm playing games with at a friend's birthday party: I thought you'd be better at this when they hyped you up as such a good player. I'm not losing by that much

me, trying to find out what button combination leads to me licking her face in their bathroom: I'm not using my full power because I'm still analyzing your movements. you know, like Goku

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I literally cant fucking breathe 

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let’s hang on mama (of another species)

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Has a worm ever gotten struck by lightning

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he did stay in the bed after i put it back down ;w;

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one of my coworkers has this sticker on his water bottle and it sends me into hysterics every time i see it

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i'm gonna cum all over your appliances . i'm gonna cover your toaster in my warm seed. i'm gonna drown your slut of a blender with spurts of my hot rope

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I swear as soon as people walk into grocery stores they fucking lose their brains. Like blocking up the entrance to an aisle, not knowing how to fucking walk.

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Barb Wire Posters, 1996

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Need to fuck her so good she doesn't say some goofy shit on Tumblr for several days

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loading Swagg…

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100% Complete

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lets overthrow mama

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finally started watching utena with the wife

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this entire blog thesis:

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Bandicoot. 🍓