funkymonkeyjunkie

[funkymonkeyjunkie]

i think about the fact that somebody chose to end a multimillion dollar franchise movie on this scene at least once a week

[funkymonkeyjunkie]

[funkymonkeyjunkie]

no offense to people named aaron but who the fuck decided two a’s were necessary??? now i can’t converse with someone named aaron without calling them a-aron

[funkymonkeyjunkie]

Donald Trump gets attacked by an eagle.

This eagle truly represents America. What a majestic symbol.

[funkymonkeyjunkie]

[funkymonkeyjunkie]

Feel like wildly uninformed men are trying to get into your uterus? The “Mythcrashers” are here to sort fact from fiction

[funkymonkeyjunkie]

[funkymonkeyjunkie]

Juice by Lizzo would be as big as Uptown Funk if society didn’t hate fat black women

[funkymonkeyjunkie]

[funkymonkeyjunkie]

Vehicle size as an indicator of dick size is stupid BUT if you have:

a lifted truck

a lowered truck

those slanted wheels

there is a 100% chance that “micropenis” is too generous an appellation for you

[funkymonkeyjunkie]

truth coming out of her well to shame mankind (tumblr safe version)

[funkymonkeyjunkie]

when a woman designs an outfit for women VS when men are allowed to do it

[funkymonkeyjunkie]

Avengers: Endgame (2019) dir. The Russo Brothers

[funkymonkeyjunkie]

DO NOT SUPPORT SALVATION ARMY 

[funkymonkeyjunkie]

if you are a man who had sex with a woman, and she became pregnant, and decided to abort, she does not “owe” you any say in the decision. all you did was bust a 10 second nut and suddenly you get a decisive say in whether or not she goes through 9 months of insanity and a painful expensive labour cause YOU want the kid? fuck off. your role in the creation of that fetus is minimal at best. if you really, genuinely wanted a child with her, you would have PLANNED for the conception of a child with that woman BEFORE y'all fucked. stop giving me that shit about “both of them created it together so they get equal say in the matter!” NO a man ejaculated and THAT’S IT, everything else regarding conception is on the woman’s body, she gets the final say in whether or not she’ll carry to term, NOT you. go adopt one of the 250,000 children in foster care waiting for someone to love them if you want a kid that fucking badly.

[funkymonkeyjunkie]

Greatest article I’ve ever read.