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I love them your Honor!

Anytime I picture Wheeljack taking care of Miko on Bulk's behalf, I can only imagine it's the same vibe as when you hang out at the family convention with that one weird but loving uncle of the family that would help overthrow the government with you

He'd be that one uncle that'd give you a swiss army knife as a gift, only in Wheeljacks case the swiss army knife is some piece of cybertronion technology, maybe even a bomb. Bulkhead is of course happy that Miko and his best friend are getting along, but at the same time, he's just about ready to punch a hole through the wall with how much stress he's now under trying to keep Miko AND Jackie out of trouble

Miko: -and then the entire mine EXPLODED! It was awesome!!

Jack: Huh, I don't ever remember going on that mission

Bulkhead: That's cuz you didn't. Wheeljack went on it and brought Miko along. (turns to Wheeljack) You remember, right Jackie? That one time you took Miko on a joy ride and ended up pursuing cons you stumbled across (leans closer to him) while leaving me to panic wondering where on earth you two where because you forgot to leave a NOTE. Ringing any bells??

Wheeljack: (loudly slurps his energon, sweating)

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D-16 after he gets paired with every single Optimus Prime at once.

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the sky - a little tf one x earthspark thing.

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You know I'm convinced if Jack wasn't there to hold Miko and Raf back the two of them would have violated at least half of the Geneva convention, human and cybertronian.

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cw: force-feeding, blood drinking

When vampire Kenobi refuses to drink precious medical supplies even though he needs blood to survive, so General Skywalker has to intervene 🙄

I read a vampire!obi-wan fanfic by ao3 user himboskywalker and couldnt get the idea of vampire obi-wan refusing to drink blood out of my head 😵‍💫

the art doesn't depict an actual event from the fic (obi-wan doesnt get tied up or forced to drink blood cos the fic is very sensual top!obiwan vibes in case this is misleading), but my god its so good, i was highkey flustered

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27176338

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Wedding night

(Part 1) (Part 2)

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For the haunted au:

We already know they all hate Megatron and no one can understand what Optimus sees in him so they just assume Optimus has terrible taste in mechs and try to push him towards other bots to date instead.

Megatronus: what about that Femme Elita? She is strong, loyal, and has a good helm on her shoulders.

Optimus: what? What are you guys talking about now?

Solus: what about that doctor? Ratchet? He would be a great choice considering how reckless Optimus is.

Optimus: seriously what are you guys talking about!?

they have Opinions™ about it yes. Optimus is absolutely mortified about it and would like to never speak of the topic ever again thank you and good night.

he also cannot believe bee would betray him like that. this is the second time he's been murdered by friendly fire OTL

haunted au

bonus:

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I need to know what the thirteen’s reaction was to first seeing Bumblebee I bet they where like he is definitely our new nephew because Optimus is basically his dad no matter the continuity

they love him dearly <33 and optimus is not above using this to his advantage <333

haunted au

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Menace Miko

Found these incorrect qoutes and I just pictured the TFP cast in it. Enjoy.

*after Miko ran through the ground bridge again unnoticed and was left on the nemises*

Ratchet: We are getting a transmission from the Decepticons.

Bulkhead, as soon as the connection is established: I swear if there is a single hair out of pla-

Megatron: Shut up

Bulkhead: EXCUSE ME-?

Megatron: Shut up! We dropped that feral little insect in a dumpster near her school. You can have her back. Forget the articfact, just take her.

The Autobots:

Megatron: Primus. *hangs up*

Bulkhead: Uh-

Raf: Miko, scares me.

Jack: Me too, budy. Me too.

Miko: Here is a fun cristmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Ratchet: Miko no.

Wheeljack: Mistlefoe.

Ratchet, throwing a wrench at Wheeljack: DON'T ENCOURAGE HER.

Bulkhead: Small creatures are far more vicious. It's because thier anger has less space to be bottled up in.

Ultra Magnus: That is ridiculous, give me some examples.

Bulkhead: Scraplets.

Wheeljack: Starscream.

Ratchet: Miko.

Masterlist

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TFP Megatron: Surrender, Prime-!

Bayverse Optimus: *Severe violence, actual attempts to kill him, and threats of face removal*

TFP Megatron: *Starscream worthy scream* GET YOUR FUCKING TEAMMATE, BITCH-

TFP Optimus: Don't worry, he doesn't mean it.

TFP Megatron: YES HE DOES-

(Loosely based on "Get your f-ing dog")

Yeah, that sounds about right

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From 0 to 1000+

A Transformers xover

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obsessed w their before and afters

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It was, in fact what the autobots were thinking.

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As a paramedic, Ratchet's alt mode in tfp driving around Jasper is hilarious to me.

We usually know who is on what ambulance unit and where the other ambulances are. They have GPS trackers on them/on the ambulance's phone, so dispatch can see where they are. Jasper is a small town, so their EMS/Fire dept is likely small as fuck. So the first responders all likely know each other and what's going on.

NO ONE can track this weird ass ambulance. Dispatch has no idea where it came from.

The other medics in Jasper being like "what fucking unit is that" or "what THE FUCK." There's no department marking or star of life on Ratchet's alt's exterior, but it has lights and sirens. Which is fucking illegal.

The other first responders talk about the Mysterious Unknown ambulance that is OCCASIONALLY spotted like a fucking cryptid. It becomes an inside joke/urban legend.

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I didn’t change anything. This is what happened.