fxck-my-existence

[fxck-my-existence]

Mfs will be like 'I hate all men we should always make fun of them and also kill them! They deserve it!' then wonder why trans men feel unsafe around them and get confused when we end up wanting to make our own spaces.

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"You need to relax"

Best I can do is dissociate

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everyday I wonder,

how much longer can I do this ??

and then the next day passes,

and the next, and the next, and the next,

and all of a sudden it’s been three years.

and I am still, just sitting here, wondering,

how much longer can I do this ??

[fxck-my-existence]

its actually very silly that if ur any type of art kid as a teenager everyone is like oh have u thought abt graphic design or advertising. yeah the little emo dude who fills sketchbooks with anime gore all day would be great at making customers buy product.

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“your partner isn’t responsible for your wellbeing”

“go tell this to a therapist”

“omg stop traumadumping” (after hearing a mild complaint)

can you guys hear yourselves? we are human beings. part of being in relationships (including friendships) with each other means looking after each other. we are responsible for each other. I look after your emotional needs when you need it, and you look after mine. sometimes things will be difficult and sometimes they’ll be outside my paygrade, and I’m allowed to step back from that. but you have to stop acting like it’s some massive toxic imposition on you to have to listen to someone talk about their feelings

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I think when you’re evolving from being a people pleaser into someone with more boundaries it can feel so strange, because it’s hard to tell if you’re being mean or if you’re just listening to your own feelings for once, because you’re so used to only thinking about others first.

[fxck-my-existence]

Since I posted this I’ve:

- Recovered from drug misuse

- Recovered from alcoholism

- Found my soulmate, got engaged

- Came to terms with who I am (transgender)

- Bought a house

- Bought a car

- Got a good career

Now don’t get me wrong, I still struggle a lot. I get second-hand trauma from work. I face a lot of stress due to transitioning. I feel lonely sometimes - like my friends aren’t there for me now I’m not supplying the Budweiser and coke on a weekend. Sometimes, I actually miss the madness.

But I’ve learnt to love who I am all the way back then. I’ve got to know what’s bad for me, what’s good for me, what drains my batteries and when I need to recharge. Day by day, I improved.

I gave myself the respect I deserve and found a woman that loves every part of who I am and motivates me to climb out of the wells of depression I fall in sometimes.

Trust me. You get there. 6 years ago I attempted suicide. I hated myself and felt I had no one.

Today, I treasure every second I get on this Earth.

I used to feel like I’d never get past this. I still have my moments. But god, I am doing so much better. I am me. I am progressing everyday.

I haven’t felt like myself in so many years, yet here I am, in my safe haven. I’m sorry to every person that tried to break me - you were all close, but you failed.

Nothing will make me lose my self respect again.

I can say that for the first time in my life, I’m excited to see what the future has planned for me.

[fxck-my-existence]

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love when creatures sniff your hand and are like. ah understood

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the most important christmas photo in history tbh

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