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Bye tumblr. Thank you for the 6 years. Mad girl on the loose signing off.

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Pero yung paraang alam ko ay toxic pala. Looking back, inisip ko ano ba ung mga mali ko sa relationship. Dapat pala ung lesson dinadala hindi iniiwan.

Dear You,

If you come across this tumblr of mine I want to tell you I miss you. I miss how you call me "Bb" as soon as you wake up. I miss how you call me good morning with your eyes closed because you still want to sleep. I miss hugging you. I miss hearing you say 'I love you bb' but you know what memory na lang talaga sya. Need ko ma-accept na wala na talaga. Sumuko ka na. Di pala talaga kaya. So eto ako ngayon, sinusuko na lahat. Nileletgo ko na lahat. Ina-accept ko na wala na tayo at di talaga pwede. Baka pinagtagpo lang talaga tayo no God pero di tinadhana. Akala ko answered prayer na ikaw yung first and last kasi pinagpray ko e pero hindi pala talaga.

Pero buti sinukuan mo ko kasi di ko kaya e, di ko kaya sukuan ka. Kasi ayaw ko maramdaman mo yun kasi naramdaman ko na yun dati. Pero little did I know na gagawin mo pala sakin. Masakit pero need bumangon.

Alam ko naman na wala ka na pake sa akin. Alam ko naman na kaya mo naman na wala ako. Alam ko naman na nakakatulog ka sa gabi ng okay na wala ako. Mas nakakapag concentrate ka na sa work. 4 months lang naman tayo totally nagsama e. Madali lang naman talaga yun. Ako lang yung nahihirapan. Nahirapan ako matulog. Nahihirapan ako. Nagpa consult ako sa psychiatrist anong sedative ung pwede kasi ilang weeks na pero ayaw ako bigyan. Gusto ko na matulog ng maayos. Gusto ko na makalimot kasi ang sakit sakit na.

Need ko talaga i-accept na, na fall out of love ka. Wala na ko magagawa. Mag let go na ko. Pinapalaya na kita. Pero sana wag ka muna mag girlfriend. Hindi ko pa kaya makita ka kasama ng iba madudurog ako. Baka after 3 yrs okay na ko. Baka dun pwede na. If di mo kaya sige 1 yr na lang.

I hope happy ka kung nasan ka man ngayon. Thank you for everything. Minahal kita sa alam kong way na never ko inakala na gagawin ko.

Fin

- Sam.

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Might abandon this tumblr today.

I remember making this tumblr because I am heart broken and I need to vent out my emotions. This tumblr really helped me a lot during those times. But now, this tumblr of mine has been discovered and its no longer served its purpose.

Fin.

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Dear You,

If you come across this tumblr of mine I want to tell you I miss you. I miss how you call me "Bb" as soon as you wake up. I miss how you call me good morning with your eyes closed because you still want to sleep. I miss hugging you. I miss hearing you say 'I love you bb' but you know what memory na lang talaga sya. Need ko ma-accept na wala na talaga. Sumuko ka na. Di pala talaga kaya. So eto ako ngayon, sinusuko na lahat. Nileletgo ko na lahat. Ina-accept ko na wala na tayo at di talaga pwede. Baka pinagtagpo lang talaga tayo no God pero di tinadhana. Akala ko answered prayer na ikaw yung first and last kasi pinagpray ko e pero hindi pala talaga.

Pero buti sinukuan mo ko kasi di ko kaya e, di ko kaya sukuan ka. Kasi ayaw ko maramdaman mo yun kasi naramdaman ko na yun dati. Pero little did I know na gagawin mo pala sakin. Masakit pero need bumangon.

Alam ko naman na wala ka na pake sa akin. Alam ko naman na kaya mo naman na wala ako. Alam ko naman na nakakatulog ka sa gabi ng okay na wala ako. Mas nakakapag concentrate ka na sa work. 4 months lang naman tayo totally nagsama e. Madali lang naman talaga yun. Ako lang yung nahihirapan. Nahirapan ako matulog. Nahihirapan ako. Nagpa consult ako sa psychiatrist anong sedative ung pwede kasi ilang weeks na pero ayaw ako bigyan. Gusto ko na matulog ng maayos. Gusto ko na makalimot kasi ang sakit sakit na.

Need ko talaga i-accept na, na fall out of love ka. Wala na ko magagawa. Mag let go na ko. Pinapalaya na kita. Pero sana wag ka muna mag girlfriend. Hindi ko pa kaya makita ka kasama ng iba madudurog ako. Baka after 3 yrs okay na ko. Baka dun pwede na. If di mo kaya sige 1 yr na lang.

I hope happy ka kung nasan ka man ngayon. Thank you for everything. Minahal kita sa alam kong way na never ko inakala na gagawin ko.

Fin

- Sam.

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I hate the person I turn into when I fall for someone. I hate how I’m willing to to do anything and everything to keep that person in my life. I hate how I am careful with my words because I don’t want to hurt him even though the wounds from his poisonous words have not even begun to heal. The bad behavior I tolerate, the excuses I make for him, the crap I put up with. The uncountable chances I give him but somehow I can’t grant myself the same kindness. If I make a mistake? It’s only fair that he leaves me. I fucked it up. The constant overthinking, the relentless fear of being ignored or ghosted and all the self blame. It’s like I abandon me.

It’s exhausting when I don’t even have me in my corner.

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“Maybe I had to let you destroy me to finally stop loving you.”

Sue Zhao

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“So I said: “please love me,” and what I meant was: please treat me gently. Please love me with a love that can be felt. That can be touched. A love that I can write about gracefully if and when it ends. Which I may look upon with pacific eyes, and say: “that was a good love. It had to end but it was good.””

Sue Zhao // Nothing but Strawberries

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After all of that, the fucked up thing is that I still struggle to see you as a bad person.

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“Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if i wanted so much to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.”

— Follow for more quotes about moving on and letting go (via thelovewhisperer)

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“I know that things don’t always work out how you planned. But man does it hurt when you put so much energy into what turns out to be nothing.”

— fadingoutfast (via wnq-writers)

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“I told you you’d get tired of me first.”

— (via wellyemonster)

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Sometimes, I wonder why people won’t slow down and enjoy whatever they have now. We study hard to have a good future. We work hard to be financially stable in the future. We wake up and live for the future. People worries too much for the future that we failed to live our now. Why can’t we just sit down for a while and appreciate our day. Enjoy every minute of it. Indulge every it offers us. Be tired for today. Because today will always worth it. Work hard for today. Study hard for today. Because you don’t know how long will you live. You don’t know if you’re still alive for the future. Be a alive for today and live.

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I’ll always care about you. I’ll care about you now, I’ll care about you tomorrow. Even if you piss me off, even if you hurt me, even if you walk out of my life, or even if we’d ever stop talking to each other, I’d still care about you. Me not calling doesn’t mean i care any less. I’ve always cared and always will.

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Here comes the urge to disappear again. No, not permanently. Just long enough to be missed.

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Confession #6304: No one wants a girl who’s fucked up. No one wants a girl who gave up her life. No one wants a girl who cries every night. No one wants a girl’s messed up heart and soul. No one wants a girl like me. -J.A.

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“A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence.”

— Mandy Hale (via buhaybabae)

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“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

— Carl R. Rogers (via buhaybabae)