fyzil

[fyzil]

2020

#Whirlwind of emotions. #Ups and downs, #highs and lows, #dips and valleys, #tough moments, #JOY of fatherhood, #emotional wreck, #trough of sorrow, #points of uncertainty, #desire to do better - to have what i haven’t had by doing what i hadn’t done, #falling forward.

2017 -I have been here before, a moment of zero fulfilment, of depression, being less of myself, difficulty and challenges. I rose from it, I grew from it, I had faith, i wasn’t discouraged, i never held back, i gave it everything i had, i flourished and blossomed again, I conquered. 

2020 - I hit my deepest lows, i got hit again and again and again, but i will RISE UP LIKE THE WARRIOR I AM, i am responsible for my happiness, I will get it.

Desires, Passion, Quitting, Resentment, Hardship.

I wont stop, I wont quit, I wont cave... I would succeed, I would accomplish, I would keep trying, I would get what i never had by doing something i never did. We’ve been here before. I have been successful in my own way which reminds me that... I am a Warrior, my mind is tougher than I believe, I am smarter than i give myself credit for, I am on a path to accomplishment, I am a winner. Note to me - Keep scrapping, keep working hard. You don't have to impress anyone but you. Now is the time to build. Fold your sleeves up, get your hands dirty, pray to God for direction and guidance and you'll reap and enjoy the fruits soon, keep going and don't look back. You don't have to worry or hurry to live the dream, it's coming, at its time - The right time. Jul 03, 2020. Hafiz The biggest challenge working on an idea in these early days is the wavering thoughts and emotions of whether it’s going to be a success or failure. One minute I feel sure and boisterous about it all, another minute I am in so much doubt I loose all the energy and desire to even do anything about it. I remain unflappable and will keep bursting my ass to get it off the ground and see it through to immense success. It’s so tough glueing all the pieces needed together but we won’t back down. We evade roadblocks not turn back. Jul 13,2020. Hafiz 

Don’t be afraid to fail big, dream big, dream without goals are just dreams. 

I have seen a pattern in my growth over the last decade. In 2011, i devoted myself to making a 2:1 and better grades. By 2012, i achieved the latter a lot but it became clear I wouldn’t be able to graduate with the grades i wanted. I took all my efforts and channeled it into programming, studying entrepreneurship, networking and creating good relationships at CCHub and also getting mentored by a Google Engineer - Toki. I abandoned school. I never attended classes, was highly anti-social and only wore tracks all through - I was done on the inside. My ultimate aim was to get into Huawei, to be hired as a software prodigy. All the programming, extra hours and tough moments learning Data Structures and Algorithm paid off. All the dedication and devotion paid off. Huawei welcomed a whiz kid. It was no mean feat... Alhamdulilah!   In 2013, the year i got my famous scars, the year i spread myself so so thin, worked my tail off at Huawei. I needed to prove i was more than hype, that i was the real deal - I DID. Colleagues, bosses, and peers were amazed at the prospects i demonstrated. I got stifled by the new HR who didn’t understand why i was so celebrated. I was super anti-social again as all i did was focus on performing my best to seal my role as a Solutions Architect - The first time a college grad will be hired straight to a senior role. Unfortunately I wasn’t given the role officially but i kept performing and excelling while functioning at it. In 2015, the year i grew balls. I found out that i didn’t want to live on salaries and the pennies Segun and I squared from small side gigs with Solar89digital. It was time to play amongst the big boys. It was a moonshot but with a lot of zest, 5X tenacity, we landed a fantastic gig with the Government. It burnt us out but we learnt a lot and made a lot of money - millions. Made my first million and more. Moved into a very big apartment, got a land, travelled to SA and became Product Management Certified, enrolled into Edinburgh’s MBA programme, and picked up my first car from home - A Mistibushi Gallant. Did all these by being super anti-social, focused only on the things i wanted to achieve and grew tremendously in belief, wisdom and experience. In 2018, after just getting married, i knew i didn’t want to be stuck working an IT job in a law firm. In the previous year, i was fired by Huawei for refusing to come to work. My brother connected me to the Job to get me back on my feet. I did get married on the job and was able to put myself together.  However I believed I was better than staying on it - my gut feeling and my soul knew, I just had to prove to myself. Interviewed with NIBSS, Mainone, Andela, Paystack, etc. I finally did great at Interswitch but eventually got sent to Arca/Clane by them. So much joy through the internal hardship of self-doubt and the What ifs. A lot of reflection into my achievements in the previous 5 years and how it would all have culminated into working as an IT guy in a law firm? NO NO NO. Glad i was able to make a switch back into proper Corporate work after a 1 year hiatus. Was humble though and learnt a lot through it all. I did what i needed to do to get what i wanted but then I had to move on from it. Great place to work though. Learnt about foreign culture and human interaction.

2018 further sharpened my mind. I shifted my mindset to how I can test my mettle on an international scale. I started to look out for opportunities in diaspora and this was another moment of digging deep again. I wanted nothing but such move. I was desperate and I wanted it so bad. It however took over 100+ applications, 25+ interviews, and 3 final stage rejections to land at PayJoy. Bottom line, I’m a 100% all-in guy once I’m gunning for something. I don’t fear neither do I frail. My mind is stronger than my body and my brain is blessed to have me to try to make the best of it always. Along those lines, i had a stint at a Big name company to make my resume look good, but we eventually landed where we wanted. This is 2020. Another year of intense growth. I’ve been here before, how hard, tough and painful it feels when expanding, stretching my limits and going to territories I have never been before. I know this feeling, I can tap into this mindset, and now it’s activated - Full Mode. With God on my side, I’m willed, I’m powerful, I’m grateful, I’m tenacious and I won’t stop till the desired accomplishments are achieved. Stepping into 2020, we knew this is what we’d have to go through, and we were ready. Mabrouk came along and there came extra motivation being a father. Yes it comes with a lot of erring and downsides - being Anti-social, excessively private and unwavering in my cause, It’s just how i know best to do it. It’s how i have got results before and it has worked many many many times over and over and over again for me - Why change or break it? I have been locked up in a jail (my house) for the past 3 months, grinding out myself to execute on my entrepreneurship quest. I haven’t stopped thinking about it for a second and i have possibly researched the most in my entire life these last months - even paid for and conducted a lot of research. This is the year it starts and we have to throw the kitchen sink at it if need be.

I am not in a hurry to do the flashy things like getting an exotic car, buying extravagant things. I’ve the money but there is no rush because these things will come whether i want it or not. The money for it will come in abundance and i would even be tired of it and start doing a lot of charity. 

I will keep on going till i see my objectives to fruition, no backing down from it, no anxieties. At the end, i would either be a very successful entrepreneur or a failed founder with a lot of experience that can be used to pursue another challenge or company with an even bigger purpose and ambition. I would not have wasted the time. All i will keep doing is “Rinse and Repeat” and if i unfortunately never become that successful business man, in a few years or within a decade, i’d have enough knowledge from all my experiences to be a mentor, a coach or a consultant, which would then make me a lot of money regardless which i can conveniently use for my kids as they grow or live the comfortable life. As far as I see it, there’s no loosing embarking on this mission - Only winning.

More pain, daunting task ahead as we keep Vysend moving forward. Blessed to have Valentina Valencia in our corner. She’s remarkable, pushing the living day light out of us. Had a session on roadmapping and focus before we speak to Sebastian from Seedstars tomorrow. We keep pushing

Aug 11,2020 11:56PM

[fyzil]

Blogging again in the new year- 2015

What reminded me of my blog? Hmmmmm… The year is a new one. It’s 2015 folks. Happy holidays. It’s 02:20am on the 2nd day of the new year. I can’t sleep. Y? I have John, Anderson, and some two ratchet chics all up in my house. One has a voice huskier than the ram’s moooooh.. She just said she sth, she just said sth. ‘The fact that I am not in a rshp doesn’t mean I don’t have constant sex. If I decide to have my sex, it isnt nobody’s business’. Faaack that girl can unleash terror on a nigger. To the other girl, I think she is peacefully sleeping now. She and jay muhfucking gatsby are grinding their nuts out.Mind you, those two came in on their tony Montana modes ready to go scarface on one another. Shortie couldn’t stand jay, buh even the lioness will front before the lion pounces on her. jay the Alpha. Osheyy baba

Andy just dey dull me, hit on that, you dey speak fo-ne. Rabbish. That guy has his slo-mo on repeat. Gives me creeps

Back to fyzil, I am at war with them 'no-joy’ mosquitoes. This living room has them hosted in their entirety. Fack, one is biting me ooooooo. So na untop rug i dey sleep now. Hoping the duvee can do the anti-malaria for me right now. Long night…*sigh*.. I miss my bed. Never appreciated it for once .

***break in transmission***

Anderson came to get my phone quickly. I really wanted to slap the niggi sef. Told me that the girl dey dull am, se she dey yarn paks.

My house will be a shit hole by tomorrow. Trust John. Bala bala everywhere. Always fanning his squanky balls and killing the microbes on his wayward dick.

Now Anderson is ranting his bullshit again. *sigh*… I dey bored pass 'life sentenced negros’.

Finally I am yawning. I can go to bed now.

One last thing , Hamidat and I spoke for like 30minutes. Nice catching up. It’s a wrap

Arriverderci folks

[fyzil]

Here i am blogging again. It's like i do it at the end of every year. Its 34 days to the another year. I am seating at work, having a hard time understanding why i am not like some other people. It creeps me out,  my person. I thought coming to this organization will change people's perception of me, but apparently, i am just me...exactly who i am. i dont think i should blame myself for being what i am currently. i was born this way.I guess i just have to accept me for me.

First, i worry a lot about how i look. it gets to me sooo much that i cant estimate how much i have spent on having a good skin, my face especially. i have been constantly trying out several things. I have to admit to  myself that this is my biggest worry. in life currently, i have nothing but one major worry, MY FACE.

What about it? it has uneven discoloration.some parts are dark, some parts are light. I also have chicken pox scars on my nose, and also a scar from a kitchen accident i had sometimes around April. All that really matters to me right now is to have an awesome look. I am called handsome ye, but i never see it. its had to admit it to myself when i am repeatedly bothered about something of this nature.

Biggest Life Issues

1. My Face

2. The way i talk 

3. My relationship with women

[fyzil]

ITS A WRAP 2012

Yo! Been #MIA for 3 months. Now i am back. will love to share some moments from 2012. Well well well, where do i start from. Hmm...Huawei...yes. My first real working experience. It was awesome. Enjoyed every bit of it. Now i can remember all the moments better.Maybe icos i am heading back in. U know what i mean. That was good living honestly. 

Oh God! I start my final exams in a week's time. I will soon be a graduate. Yippee!!! Its so tough to read i gata admit. I just cant deal with school work again. 

2012 has been a testing and experimenting year for me. I learned a whole lot...like a whole lot. I aint there yet, really far from being half way there..well that's what i think of myself, but we still working.Baby steps y'all. Its numerous the knowledge  i amassed, the people i met and those i currently work with at the moment. i was duly appreciated in my line of work and it led to a better life. As impossible as it may seem, i see myself at the very top. The sky will probably be too small for me to fit in cos i will transcend and wouldnt stop. Gosh! why do i believe in myself so much. Hafiz i pray for u bro...*praying for myselF*.

I tnk i am gonna talk a bit about my new experiences. First i was a project manager to MTN Nigeria. Huge stuff i tell u. I was practically the underdog that shot himself to stardom. Relating with unimaginable people and handling ready to kill pressure, i just cant explain how i pulled it off. I did, and very well at that. i got an immediate job offer, and i, till this moment, really grateful and thankful to ALLAH for giving it to me. It was just the last thing i ever thought of. I guess my work just spoke for me,bt i wasnt targeting that as i put in those endless efforts and never-failing attitude to work. i had extra challenging moments. I cant begin to count, but there were tough. I scaled, and here i am today. 30 days from being a graduate. How time flies. Still remember when my momma came with me to register for pre-degree. Thats by the way sha... Moving on, i hit school. Was as fresh as f**k. Obagi worked wonders. had a splendid time defending my SIWES cos i enjoyed every bit of what i did. I was working on the mairuwa mobile application. So difficult for me to hold a pen. It was like ages. I just couldnt fit in to the system. I didnt bother. Already knew i wasnt gonna finish with a 2:1 and so i said to myself, we better add value to me and put the job offer aside for now. What if it flunks? Nah! i cant deal with the ordinary life, I want the extra, the sprinkles on the icecream. 

Business became the order of the day. Collaborated with friends and gambled on our first business. I aint telling u what it is, but we lost.Heavily...It will go down as one of the tough moments of 2012 for me. Actually a test bed for me and an awesome experience to learn from. Having failed severally at school and also failing at business, i became very used to failing. Who does? Well i do... what y'all need to know is failing makes u strong, and failing repeatedly makes u super strong. Nothing shakes u and u just keep fighting and burning urself till u climb thru the ranks. Crossing the chasm for me is not optional. it is a must. I dont care whatever happens along the way, but i am gonna be the household name. I am a fighter i gotta say. I know i am. Never relenting and always self inspiring. Kept trying my hands on different stuffs. I just had to get my hands dirty. it just expands me and makes confident. From android to phonegap, windows phone development, codenameONE, jquery, json, Lwuit, c# , and to my favourite ruby on rails (oh i love it...def still going back)  i just kept doing different things.

I just kept having the feeling i wasnt where i belong. I hate being idle. i hate not learning, matter of fact there are more than a zillion things to learn about. so i kept at them. I always ensured i didnt loose touch. At least at one point, i was always onto something.

Few fun times too. Karaoke night with colleagues, visit to asian villa, team building at private beach ,the class trip to the motel royal pool and erinijesha and many more i cant remember. Had a couple with friends and family too in gidi. 

Moving over to a defining part of the year was my enrollment for the ministry of communication software competition. Everything was put into that shit. I had the expertise of a good coder. it ws dope, the solution. I knew it and felt it in my bones we were gonna win. the ish was just too ON CHECK. certified dope!!!. Then came this long call. Some bullies were trying to hijack what we had starved, sweated and marred in dust for. Enticing us with money, well that was almost deceiving for me. Thank Lord i consulted my friends. I talked about it in my last blog, you could check it out there. We lost eventually. We were 2nd. And in the software industry in Nigeria, winner takes all. Having travelled down to gidi and spending time on the ish, it was just painful. really painful. It was my most toughest and most painful moment of the year. I needed the money tho, but i wanted the recognition more. it shoulda been a victory well deserved, but we all know the game of politics. its never fair...

Had to move on and began my usual doing...thinking and ripping ideas apart. I think  i am a thinking box. My head is always ticking, just like the seconds hand of the clock. It struck, this very good idea. i began my usual prepping on it, and i felt it that was it. I already created the documentations and was even thinking of commencing development before i found out the big guns were already at it. U wouldnt wanna compete with a GOOGLE, even tho its not google in the actual sense, but they were really big. Other bodies were unto it too. I just had to bolt

As amazing as i am, i was rolling another extraordinary top idea in. This time i said to my self (MALT = More Action Less Talk ). I kept it to myself and i began work on it. I didnt wanna know if anybody was on this, i was just ready for a fight. A big bout.*sizing up FIST*. School work meant absolutely nothing to me. i will rarely go for lectures and i wouldnt do assignments. it just didnt matter to me. This idea was consuming me like wildfire. i was always always always thinking about it. Always holding a pen and a paper anywhere i went,always scribbling and always researching. I couldnt help it. it was just too useful a solution i m proposing. i even took a 9 weeks course online, and truly, it was the best self learning experience of my entire career.

My love for internet is outta the ordinary. i cant do without it. i will need a rehab to cure the addiction. its home there. i even developed it more this year. it got me applying for a business conference in germany for 2013. I was full of optimism while i was filling in. i did it with a lot of tenacity and gusto. Then for a record third time, i failed at a big thing this year. I was not picked. Another tough moment for the year. it pained me oooo...it was like a blow to the jugular. i manned up and said to myself, all of these things i fail at are for the ordinary and thats why i never get them. the extraordinary, the legendary, the phenomenal, is where i belong...And thats where i am heading to...Wish me luck 

P.S : Famz me now so i can carry you along when i am there

Last bow of the ceremony goes to 

My New Year Resolution for 2013

-------------------------------

1. Build the next big thing

2. Get a macbook Air and galaxy notes 2

3. Claim the survival job

4. Travel to a foreign country (Pref -> Spain)

5. Have a fresher look

6. And fail on as much of these as possible

Que te diviertas!

Muchas amigas

Te amo chicos...Adios

[fyzil]

My first Blog Post

it seems just like yday, when i opened dis blog a year ago, and finally i have carved a niche and decided to put sth in it today.wooah.its 23:55 19th of sept 2012.gud time to blog.wtch y'all tnk.Well well,i m gna loose the leach now.y am i jst posting sth here after all these long exciting and boring months.so many thngs i cld v blogged about,nt bothered tho'.so dis is the story.i was on twitter,didnt know how i got there (a very bad tweep i am), and i checked out dis gal.i follow her,she follows back,bt i had to chk out dt avi.hope ma chic aint listening.i hope computers havent got hears like walls do!!!hehehehe.i chkd her out,bt low and behold,i found a link to her blog.the second time i am snooping around and scoffling thru her TL.

Damn that blog hilarious.dnt ask me, i aint gna share wit her blog wiv u.i read and laughed and got motivated too.she is the reason i m putting sth here now..she pro'ly asleep now,bt i m having sm me-time with her blog and some MMG SELF-MADE 2 tracks.dope ones o...it turned out that she put up dt blog cos she bored.are u bored?yes u?so y reading some lame crack i m writing outta being idle.well, *productive time*, the one thing i m gna share tonight...hmmm wt can i share??

Lest i forget, i saw this movie i liked,it might not be all that, bt i really liked it,plus it was Chris Pine and Elizabeth banks.i love em guys.y'all wanna knw d movie.okiez, m gna tell u dis one,dnt munch ur face up!.PEOPLE LIKE US.so there u go

Work Hard Play Hard-Wiz Khalifa...the song is bursting ma speakers

pals,frenzys,i gata read a liril bit o' ma ch3.i v got akinade to tlk to 2mao.mk d guy no go bamboozoo me d way he did to sylva.poor guy.

Adios amigos!!!