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[gabemichaels]

Unspoken || Gabe & Alex

Discord thread with Gabriel Michaels and Alexander Morgan @xandermrgan

WHEN: January 23rd, 2021

WHERE: Gabe’s apartment.

DESC: Alex turns up at Gabriel’s place to pick up their dog. 

TW: emotional pain??????  *** alex is written in bold.

all of their interactions up until now had been outside, neither one of them daring to invite the other any where else but the park bench where alex could catch up with taylor. the dog had missed him deeply, it was clear by the way she jumped at him, and gabe found himself offering to let alex have puppy dates with her, whenever he wanted. taylor was still his dog, and alex was still the man he loved. so, when he found alex at his door, he was surprised to see that he'd made the effort to come here, thinking that the brunet would avoid him as best he could. he can tell there's something wrong with him, where gabriel used to see colour, he now see's grey. his cheeks don't blush like they used to, the way he remembers, and the circles under his eyes look darker now.  in a moment of quiet weakness, gabe reaches out to place his hand upon his, and it's the first touch they've had in years. when his skin meets his, it feels as though there are thousands of tiny little sparks beneath his fingertips. "you know you can talk to me, about anything....don't you?" they didn't have to be together for gabe to care, that never went away.

it already felt like hell, coming back and having delilah everywhere he went -- and her name blowing up his phone. perhaps the universe was punishing him for something, because not long after his return, he runs into his ex-fiance. what was it about exes that kept coming back to haunt alex? it might have been a much easier life had he not dated at all. but seeing gabe again... it brought back an emotion inside of him that he had buried so deep down. but this feeling wasn't like it was before -- before, he would look at gabe, and see his whole world. now, he looks at gabe, and he sees a world he can no longer be a part of. it felt like his heart was being shattered into a million pieces all over again. and when he opened the door, looked into his eyes... alex could feel it. he knew gabe could tell exactly what was going through his head, and while it was something he used to love, he now hated it. when his hand touched his, alex felt himself getting weak and relaxing into his touch. for a moment. but then he remembers the way he was left behind, and pulls his hand back from his soft touch. "there's nothing to talk about. not between you and me." it hurt, speaking to him this way. but shutting him out was the thing alex knew how to do the most, to protect his own feelings from being hurt again. he was surprised he even showed up here -- was it really because he missed what was once his dog, too? or was it an excuse to just see him again?

he pulls his hand away and it’s nothing that gabe wasn’t expecting in the first place. he had torn down the foundation in which he and alexander had built together, a future that included marriage, and children. he had given alex a hope of a life, a family, someone he could truly depend on and gabriel had let his own fears get the better of him. “you hate me, that’s valid.” he says in a calm, but raspy tone, allowing a shred of emotion so tinge his words. “but that doesn’t mean i don’t give a crap about you, alex. i’m sorry, for everything.” he says, his eyes locked on alex’s profile while he continues to look away, hesitating to make eye contact. “i never meant for it to turn out that way.” he sighs, knowing that alex did not want to speak about it, but how could he not? it had been two years and alex refused to speak to him.

it pissed him off, the fact that he was so calm -- that he wasn't fighting back. why did that piss him off so much? why did he want a reaction from him so bad? "you called off our wedding, gabe, not me -- i don't know how you expected things to turn out." he begins to shrug, a wave of sadness suddenly hitting him, one that he hasn't felt as strongly as before, not in a few years. "i get it, you just didn't wanna go through with it. whatever. i'm not here to talk about us, gabe, i don't wanna do that." he looks back up at him. it was so hard to make eye contact with him these days, because he's afraid of his own feelings for him. "where's taylor?"

it hurts him to know that alex thinks such a thing, that gabe didn’t want to marry him. he did, he wanted him to be his husband, more than anything, but, he wanted them to have more time, a few more years to grow with one another and settle, find their roots. he can’t say that, because alex doesn’t want to speak, and so gabriel remains calm, silent almost, though it’s clear he’s wounded — he can’t hide his emotions around him, it just doesn’t work with alex. “she’s in my office.” he states, picking himself up to stand, striding across the lounge and as he passes the fireplace, he grabs a single photo frame from the shelf and carries it with him into the next room to put away in a desk. from behind the open door, taylor comes running, her claws tapping against the wooden floors as she makes leaps and bounds towards her other dad, clearly excitable to see alex.

it was weird, how distant he felt from gabe right now. it felt like every time they talked about the broken engagement, there was distance, negative emotions... like there was no going back. but then taylor broke out into a fit of excitement for alex, and he couldn't help but smile ear to ear. "hey, pretty little girl!" he coos at her, crouching down to let her jump all over him in excitement. taylor was an extension of gabe and alex's relationship, and nothing made him happier than to spend more time with her. so, yes, while alex felt distant in terms of looking back at what happened at the end of their relationship.... at the same time, with everything else that ties gabe and alex together (at this point, it felt like their souls were tangled together, and there was no untying it), it felt like no time had passed at all -- and he felt closer to him than ever, and everything in his body screamed 'i want him back'. except... that one little part of him, that prevented him from doing that. the hurt, scared, and messed up part of him that didn't believe it would work out between them anymore. he looks up at gabe, still smiling. and for a moment, his heart flutters, a flash of realization of how in love with him he was. it brings him both ecstasy to look at him, and sadness. he looks back down at taylor as he pets her, "when should i have her back by?"

how has he gone this long without him? he still knows the exact placement of every mole, every freckle, every scar. he could draw a map of it in his mind, he's kissed every single square of that mans body, and he's never shied away from his flaws. alexander was not a perfect person, not by any means, gabriel could meet the man of his dreams tomorrow, and it would still never be alex. he was better, he was real, he was someone he could see himself growing old with. he never tired of this man, even when their life was in their most monotonous stages. the redhead swallows thickly, watching as the brunet takes to the pup, reuniting with the dog they once shared together. he could remember the last time he cried, and it was because of alex, for alex. two years ago he'd shed his very last tear and now, as alex stood right there in his livingroom, he felt as though he could break down once more. "i'll probably be up late so, i guess before midnight?" he smiles weakly, stuffing both hands into his jean pockets.

the silence between them in the room was deafening; it was rare to put alex and gabe in a room together and feel the heaviness of the silence in the room. if there was any silence, it used to be a comfortable one. right now, it felt like they were at a loss for words. what do you say to someone you once thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with? "i'll have her back by 10, then..." alex stands up, holding onto taylor's leash, ready to leave. did he want to leave? apart of him did want to leave, unable to stand the way they were looking at each other right now -- like complete strangers trying to get to know each other again. but he also wanted to stay, and sit with gabe like they used to. talk the night away, and catch up on each other's lives. however, he pushed that desire deep down, and began to walk back towards the door. "i'll see you later, gabe."

[gabemichaels]

That face and shifting thing Alec does when he’s gearing up to drag someone.

[gabemichaels]

Here’s how to start your day like a VIP, featuring actor Matthew Daddario via GQ Report

[gabemichaels]

( MATTHEW DADDARIO, 26, CIS MAN ) I just bumped into [ GABRIEL MICHAELS ] the other day while walking down [ NORTH ] Kingsboro, where [ HE/HIM ] live. I hear they can be [ ATTENTIVE ] and [ STOIC ], but when I think of them I immediately think about [ BRUISED KNUCKLES, DOG EARED BOOKS, AND FAST CARS ]. ( october/tober, 29, she/they, GMT ) 

born and raised in new york city, gabriel michaels is the son of a world famous author, and a private school teacher. he has one older sister with whom he is incredibly close to. he lived a an uneventful life up until the diagnosis of his mothers terminal cancer. after the death of his mother at the ripe age of 13, gabriel michaels developed a severe stutter. he had been bullied all his life, school had not been kind, he’d gone most of his young life belittled by his peers. despite his speech impediment, he discovered youtube when he was fairly young, starting a channel by himself that soon began to catch the attention of others. by the age of 17, gabe had a following, and that following lead him to joining a reality tv show when he was 20. it was there that he rekindled a relationship with a man who had once scorned him, this man then grew to be the love of his life. they rushed their relationship of 2 years, getting engaged at such a young age. gabe got scared and called it off, not ready to make that kind of commitment yet, but he didn’t want to lose his partner, however, he hadn’t taken to it so lightly -- and left. at the age of 26, now gabriel is a well renowned boxer and living in new york with his dog, taylor. he has never really left new york, only moved around different parts for new scenery when boredom strikes. due to his past struggles with his stutter, gabe doesn’t speak much, he can be known as stoic, which often means he comes across as brash, or unkind -- most who really get to know him know that this is completely untrue. 

tidbits.

gabriel stands at 6′4,  he is bisexual but he leans towards men new york native owns a dog he once shared with his ex he’s a well known boxer previously a youtuber in his teenage youth starred in a reality tv show in his early 20s tries to keep his body clean but smokes upon occasion