gabeshep

[gabeshep]

The growling, uneven movement of the Mako masked the vibrations of the coming eruption. Where there was flat land suddenly rose a pillar of alien flesh, roaring anger to the heavens and the minuscule humans at its doorstep.

A thresher maw.

The warm air in the vehicle wasn't enough to keep the chill from running down the commander's spine. He jerked the controls, throwing the Mako to the right. The main gun of the turret fired at Kaidan's direction, but the commander couldn't hear it. There was a roaring in his ears and he was having trouble seeing. 

"It's gone underground!" the biotic shouted. Shepard slowed the frantic escape and found his hands to be shaking. Kaidan and Garrus exchanged glances.

"We should-" The flanged turian voice was cut off by another unearthly screeching roar. 

The thresher maw was again in front of them, however Shepard was slower to react this time. They stalled before the beast, flank exposed to its gaping, screaming mouth. It struck before Gabe could gather himself enough to hit the controls. The sound of alien slamming into metal was deafening to the men inside the Mako. 

It was also enough to jerk Shepard back into action. He hit the controls hard and they limped forward at top speed, turning at the last moment to mount a rise. Once again the thresher maw retreated into the ground, satisfied that the intruder had been dealt with.

Silence filled the vehicle, disrupted only by the fizzle of sparks signifying the extent of damage done. Gabe's own helmet was filled with his heavy breathing. But he didn't hear it, nor did he hear the sparks. Everything felt deadened to him. Everything except the wild pounding of his heart. Raw fear gripped him so tightly that he could not move.

"Commander?" Kaidan ventured. It went unheard. A look exchanged between human and turian in which both decided to give the marine a moment. They both released the belts holding them in place and moved about the Mako to begin repairs. If they wanted to get any closer to the distress beacon, they needed to set the vehicle to rights. 

Gabe trembled in his armor, sweat gone cold against too hot skin. He wanted to climb out. He wanted to rip off his armor. He wanted to grab his rifle and fire at anything and everything. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs. He wanted to fall to his knees and cry.

He wanted to reach the men at the heart of the distress beacon.

Fists slammed into the control panel. "Are we good to go?" he shouted into the comm. The men of his squad were startled by his sudden action, but both gave the affirmative.

They were as ready as they were going to be. 

[gabeshep]

"Heh, well I'm cuttin' you off. You've had plenty."

 ”Sooo you’re not gonna share at all?”

[gabeshep]

"You challenged me."

"Oh come on."

[gabeshep]

He stared and pointedly drank more.

 ”Okay, seriously, there’s no way you’re gonna finish that bottle without sharing it with me.”

[gabeshep]

"Hey, I never said rigid. You're just... focused. It's good, really. We wouldn't be anywhere in this war without you." He tilted his beer bottle towards Liara. "You need to take a break every once in a while. That's all I'm saying."

"Alright, you’ve made your case. I will try my best to be a tad less rigid."

[gabeshep]

"Well you got me there." Gabe smiled. "Isn't a crime to loosen up from time to time. So drink, take it easy with me for a night, yeah?"

"It appears as though you’re determined to loosen me up. I’m not sure how to take that, Shepard."

[gabeshep]

Gabe has been down this road before. All the 'what ifs' are likely to kill a man if he mulls them over enough times. Couple that with guilt clawing inside his gut, and his time is drastically shortened. He managed to avoid that fate after Akuze. A mother's watchful eye even from light years away helped guide him to the sort of help he needed. He knows how to deal with that old guilt when it comes creeping up again.

But this, today, this is raw. And he hears the disappointment in Philip's voice at the knowledge that they have blood on their hands that should never be there. This is Philip though, his best mate in the galaxy. If there's anyone who can hear this and still stand by him, love him, it's Philip.

"How's our supplies?" Gabe asks quietly after a minute, actively avoiding something so deeply emotional and troubling for the first time in years.

Philip’s gut twists, half for the terrible image Gabe paints with his words, half for his friend’s obvious suffering and guilt.

"You couldn’t have known," he says quietly. It’s not a lot of comfort, he’s sure. But what else can he say? The idea is sickening, terrifying…innocents falling in their path just like in the Reapers’. But he can’t escape the knowledge, either, that he could easily have done the exact same thing. "You reacted on instinct."

[gabeshep]

The marine's brown gaze remains fixed on some far off point. "The way the cannibals hunch over to feed. That's what I saw." War is hell, they both knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt now. Not only for the violence and bloodshed, but for the isolation, the taxation on the body, and the things it took from a man.

"It was just a woman, leaning over her wife's body." Gabe sees her now. With a bag stuffed with their belongings on her back, leaning over in a final intimate moment with her partner, she was only trying to survive. "I killed her," Gabe says, tone oddly devoid of emotion.

"Hey." Philip’s tone is quiet. He stands, moves to Gabe’s side, looking with him out the door of the broken-down building. "It was what?" he asks slowly. "What did you see?"

He doesn’t want to hear, not really. But he knows if he were in Gabe’s place he would need to get it off his chest. He knows things happen in this kind of war, things they both hate, things that are accidents. He won’t leave Gabe twisting in the wind without someone to hear him.

[gabeshep]

Some days they go entirely without sleeping, relying on stim packs to get them through. The last few days were like that, until they were both operating on shot nerves. Finally the chance to rest came and they crashed, hard. Only after waking from that comatose-like sleep did Gabe have a chance to think. 

Today, Gabe feels as though he hasn't slept a wink since that last stim pack. The world feels heavier on his shoulders than ever before, barring the aftermath of events on Akuze years ago.

He doesn't look back at his best friend as he answers, "That last town we cleared. I thought I saw... it was..." Gabe's voice fades out. He knows now what happened, but to explain it to Philip?

Philip freezes, looks up from the medpacks he’s sorting, and stares at Gabe’s silhouette against the sunrise light outside. “Shit…” he whispers. “I…who? Where?”

[gabeshep]

[sinks back into the bed fully]     If I lock the door, we can dance around the whole apartment naked.

Well, you know I’ll follow that order. [Grins as she leans into him, arms around his shoulders.]

[gabeshep]

    I definitely say so. [kisses the nearest bit of her skin]

[ She lets out a laugh, falling in beside Gabe. ]  Oh? Well if you say so, commander.

[gabeshep]

[grabs Ash around the waist and tugs her back into bed]       We're taking the day. Just us. You're not leavin' bed unless I say so.

[gabeshep]

   "That? Not really. But, you know, drink slow." He sipped from the beer he had cracked open in the meantime.

"It seems I don’t really have a choice in the matter." Sips drink hesitantly before eyes go wide as the alcohol hits her. "Well, that is rather potent."

[gabeshep]

   "Guess you'll just have to drink it slow then." He grabbed a few things and mixed her a drink, producing it with a flourish.

"Aren’t those notorious for having the most amount of alcohol in them?"

[gabeshep]

   "Hmm... How about some fruity cocktail thing?"

"Oh dear, I haven’t the faintest clue. I’m not exactly a big drinker. Perhaps just something light."

[gabeshep]

    "Oh! Well I see how it is." He slipped behind the bar in the lounge. "And what will the fine lady be having today?"

"I have confidence. Perhaps it’s not the same flavor as yours."

[gabeshep]

   "Maybe you need to have more confidence. Ever think of that?"

"Such confidence. Well, we’ll see how the night goes."