expect anything from anyone, the devil was once an angel
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“I’d like to think that I would smile. I’d want to tell you that I miss you so much even if I don’t want you that way anymore. I’d say that I still love you in the kind of way I won’t ever love anyone else. That I would’ve given up everything I was to become who you needed. That I checked my voicemails twice a month for a whole year to resave the recording of you singing. That I’ve still got a bottle of your favorite body spray hidden in my room. That I still dream of you. That I still think about you when I hear certain songs (none of them come on the radio, I just want to torture myself sometimes). That I remember the kiss I didn’t tell anyone about because you were dating my friend. That I regret that we didn’t kiss when we finally got together. That I’ve picked up your clothes from my bedroom floor only to hide them under my bed. That I can’t hear someone say “fuck it” without thinking about you. That I was the only person that finished middle school and high school still loving you. That I’ll probably finish college the same way. But mostly, I hope that I’ll be able to say “I wish you happiness.” And mean it.”
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