garlique - Tumblr blog

[garlique]

Mommy needs to be honest kitten. You're not a kitten, you're a puppy, I know. Actually, that's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. You've let this whole puppygirl thing completely take over our sex life and to be honest it's not really clear to me that you really enjoy it anymore. You really seem stuck in a short-term hedonic spiral from posting about it on tumblr and getting likes. And I know it's hard to get out of that kind of thing but it's really been getting out of control. You said "we're trying for puppies" to my best friend of 15 years. Seriously? How the fuck am I supposed to live that down? No one was laughing. The room was dead silent and I wanted to sink into the floor. And this was days after I was crying my eyes out over the infertility stuff. So you came across as kind of an asshole on top of it. Yeah, I know you didn't mean it like that but you can only point to "bourgeois morality" so many times before it starts to feel like you're just saying "I'm sorry you got offended" you know? Like every time I try to express that some basic social decorum is necessary to preserve relationships I care about you start misquoting Bakunin. And like look you have a lot of positive qualities but I don't think this is working anymore. We both know it hasn't been good for a long time.

[garlique]

These were the only spell options available to the wizard who cursed you. You had to pick one of them.

[garlique]

"Listen," one guard said, "I know we have only just met-"

"No," the other guard said, "we've worked together for years!"

"-but you can trust me when I say-"

"I can't, you have the curse that's opposite from mine!"

"I don't care for you at all."

"Well, I… oh… I love you too."

[garlique]

driving is fucked up who invented this shit. sit in the metal death box and go one million miles an hour down this road. dont hit the other metal death boxes also going a million m/h or youll die. they all have free will as well btw.

[garlique]

[garlique]

Fuck it. Crochet cartilaginous stingray skeleton

[garlique]

The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

[garlique]

match percenteges, helping is allowed

50%

50%

[garlique]

E.R. Comics, Ryan Pequin

[garlique]

[garlique]

WHO SUFFERED MORE

[garlique]

The brotherhood of steel respecting pronouns was not on my fallout bingo card

[garlique]

The Fallout TV show is incredibly unfaithful to the games. It should have started with a 20 minute sequence where Lucy's facial features morph and her hairstyle changes, followed by a tutorial section where she learns how to crouch.

[garlique]

it’s so bizarre when animated American films are set in a certain location and then only certain characters have the accents of that place. It makes no damn sense!! like

WHY IS SHE MORE FRENCH THAN THE REST OF THEM???