Text
They call me Johnny Six-Bowls. No, I don't smoke weed, it's - yeah, I know. It's cause when I cook I need a buncha those little bowls to put my stuff in. You know, cut up veggies and stuff. What's the word. Mise en place. Yeah. So I gotta have a bunch of em with stuff all prepped before I start. Elsewise it's all chaos. Anyway. You here to duel? Or should I give you head
15K notes
·
View notes
Text
I fuck wit title-only text posts. this shit is like talkin in an apartment hallway loud as fuck out the window
161K notes
·
View notes
Text
‘no one is coming to save you’ okay fine I agree but can I even get a hug at least
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
I think if a gas pump plays an ad for you while you're fueling up it should be legal to shoot the pump with a gun, igniting the gas and blowing up the station, killing everyone instantly
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
let's all go out and buy pink refreshing citrusy fruity sexually arousing drinks
34K notes
·
View notes
Text
in this fantasy world, theres no homophobia or sexism! but the governments are still patriarchal monarchies and everyone still adheres to the standard nuclear family, two things that have absolutely no relation to homophobia and sexism whatsoever
16K notes
·
View notes
Text
you Applied to 200 jobs and are still unemployed . hope u dont mind we Leak ur data. and no, we will Not be calling back
29K notes
·
View notes
Text
day one of trying not to think about fucking that old man
58K notes
·
View notes
Text
i bring nothing to the table but melancholic eyes and ovethinking
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
tumblr mutual to discord friend pipeline is one of the most beautiful things out there
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
I periodically see ships that make me go "What?! No! No!" and then move on and don't harass anyone and feel so strong and brave.
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
Holding my blorbo up by the scruff of his neck to show him to you
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
do u know what pisses me off? a lot of things where do i start
142K notes
·
View notes
Text
I love when information revealed at the end of a story recontextualizes something said or done at the beginning. Like yes queen make the story a loop let the story keep developing even though the book is closed and the credits are rolling. The story never ends it just starts over.
83K notes
·
View notes
Text
danganronpa dialogue:
"maybe the killer gave them a heart attack by writing down their name. like with a certain notebook from a certain anime."
"h-huh?"
zero escape dialogue:
"and so, mr tortoise continues to believe theres a teapot floating in space because mr hare can not definitively prove him wrong. but what if something like that... applied to the entire world?"
"like how theres no way to prove if youre wearing panties or not unless you offer definitive proof"
umineko dialogue:

3K notes
·
View notes