gayassbagelmom

[gayassbagelmom]

Aight well I guess in celebration of THF coming back, I’ll post some art that’s been sitting around for awhile now

@the-hamilton-files-author enjoy

Got art of both male and female Allie

…

Pretty sure I accidentally gave male Allie a bigger chest but that’s aight

Younger Allie and Rachel

Shit went downhill for Alex real fast

I went through a bunny girl face awhile back and fem Allie and fem Randy were my victims

Randy got them big badonkers

Eliza and Allie hijinks because I just want them to be friends

(Allie asked Eliza to do his makeup)

Protraits cause I was lazy and didn’t want to draw a fullbody 😎

[gayassbagelmom]

I know Randy was trying to be all cool and edgy when he fed someone to his snake, but to be honest, all I could think about was that time Britney Spears performed with a snake

@the-hamilton-files-author

[gayassbagelmom]

@the-hamilton-files-author hold the fuck up

You’re trying to tell me, that Thomas made a big deal about being exclusive and not letting Allie even fucking look at other guys, only to fuck someone else once in New York???????

I never though Thomas could be come even more unlikeable

@goodrid-dance is a god damn prophet

[gayassbagelmom]

Then why does he have like a bajillion cars that aren’t the nightcrawler

Thomas when he sees any car that isn’t the Nightcrawler:

[gayassbagelmom]

Lafayette: “Xander, how the hell did that happen?” Gestures to the cast on Allie’s wrist

Allie: “Well see people always talk about how great and hot shower sex is but uh, they’re all fucking liars”

Allie: “Because as it turns out, slippery tiles, a 12 inch height difference and a huge fucking cock don’t exactly go well together “

Thomas: “Alexander—“

Allie: “I mean one minute Thomas has my face and chest pressed against the shower door as he fucks me into a new dimension, and next thing I know, I’m sprawled out on the bathroom floor atop a pile of glass, with my wrist bent at the totally wrong angle”

Allie: “didn’t even get to cum”

Thomas: “what the fuck Alex, you could have just said that you fell, didn’t have to tell our boss about our sex life in detail”

Lafayette: “...”

Lafayette: “you guys REALLY need couples therapy”

@the-hamilton-files-author

[gayassbagelmom]

Ugh babe you put the rest of us to shame 😩😩

@the-hamilton-files-author

Hello, ur welcome

Next is another angsty piece :)

[gayassbagelmom]

Holy shit, I just realized this means Randy likely is actually alive, I mean you wouldn’t defend my comment about there not being a realistic way for Randy to still be alive, UNLESS you knew that he’s actually alive in THF

If Randy isn’t actually dead, I’m gonna fucking SUE you

[gayassbagelmom]

I’ll try but uh

Cant make no promises homegirl 😬—

If Randy isn’t actually dead, I’m gonna fucking SUE you

[gayassbagelmom]

The only way I could see him still being alive was if the government put him in witness protection but that would mean Allie should have been put away for attempted murder, plus Randy wouldn’t be able to do Mob stuff anymore, I mean not only would he have been moved to a different state and he would be watched too closely by the US marshals to commit pretty much any kind of crime so like ehhhhh?????

If Randy isn’t actually dead, I’m gonna fucking SUE you

[gayassbagelmom]

Wow @jamiltonrps tagged moi?

Relationship status: Hella crushin but hella single

Favorite color: Pink!!!! 🥴

Favorite food: probably popcorn at the moment

Song stuck in my head: whew I mean usually I have that problem but surprisingly I don’t right now? I guess I sorta got this song stuck in my head:

Last song you listened to: pretty sure it was this:

Last thing I googled: idk probably porn man

Time: 1:10 am/PST(pacific standard time) west coast best coast

Dream trip: bruh im a basic ass bitch like i just wanna go to the beach man, listen to some seagulls, waddle around in the freezing Pacific Ocean, just yknow, chill the fuck out

Anything I really want: well I mean is it like a “I want it right now” kind of think because if so yknow, I want COVID to just bye bye, but if it’s a like “sometime eventually” than it’d be babies, kids are so freaking cute man

Idk if y’all been tagged already but you homies so I’ll tag you anyways @ghostlikesjekylltoomuch @mlovesstrawberries @coffeeflavoredtears

Oooh! thanks for the tag, @the-nysh and @hypothesaurus <3<3<4

Rules: tag 10 people you want to get to know better. (lol like i know 10 human people on tumblr. most of my followers are sexbots and/or ghosts but hey no judgement right?)

No obligation but I’d love to hear from @withinuwithoutyou, @jusqu-une-etudiante and fellow laughing mistress @juliensorelisoverparty

Relationship Status: I am somebody’s girlfriend and somebody’s spouse. (And I’m polyam so it’s fine)

Favorite color: purple, unless I am channeling a more feral energy - in which case my favorite color is red.  

Favorite foods: Coffee. With enough cream, it becomes a food.

Song stuck in my head: To Your Love (Fiona Apple)

Last song I listened to: God’s Away on Business (Tom Waits)

Last thing I googled: begtse chen (a wrathful deity, basically more Garou energy lol)

Time: 3.44pm

Dream Trip: As an aspiring sea witch, I hope to one day visit the Hebrides so that I can stare mournfully into the bitter & frigid North Atlantic ocean from a battered cliffside as an ominous fog slowly envelopes me.  #lifegoals 

Anything I really want: Assuming everyone’s got their COVID-19 vaccine and World Peace has already been achieved by something other than Ultimate Evil, I would like the courage to answer some emails that I am irrationally afraid to send. 

[gayassbagelmom]

We been knew, we been knew

okay I’ve come to the conclusion that Thomas’s dick wreaks havoc wherever it goes

[gayassbagelmom]

Yeah uh, sorry for your loss but maybe stick to google docs from now on

Sad News

As a lot of you saw, I made a mistake and accidentally deleted the chapter I was working on in Ao3. Luckily I have some bits and pieces saved here and there on google docs, and I can try and re-write the second half. 

I was ready to post this chapter in 2 days, but now it’s going to be a little bit longer. I hope you all will stick with me as I rewrite and make an even better draft #2. Not a chance in the world I would give up on this work or this fanbase. Not now, not ever. ❤️

Time to write. 

[gayassbagelmom]

Well shoot looks like I need to draw rallie fanart

me trying not to drop spoilers in the thf group chat:

[gayassbagelmom]

Bruh this WFI genderbent fanart is finna be the death of me 😔 wish me luck

@the-hamilton-files-author

[gayassbagelmom]

Alright alright calm down, I drew male Allie, and like,,,

It’s not that I don’t like the drawing per say it’s just—really hard to make Allie look masculine

Out here being all androgynous and shit

@the-hamilton-files-author

I deadass redrew the mouth 50+ times, I couldn’t get that smug annoying expspression right yknow?

[gayassbagelmom]

Alright alright listen,,,

I tried (keyword “tried”) to draw non fem Thomas. And like I already told y’all I can’t draw males so that means you’re legally not allowed to judge me

@the-hamilton-files-author

[gayassbagelmom]

Finna make THF audio book or smth

Honestly I envy those who are out here going “rereading THF for the umpteenth time” like sis I’ve been trying to reread THF for a hot minute and this is deadass the third time I got distracted because I saw a squirrel outside my window

solution: 

problem solved.

happy reading :)