gbrnth - Tumblr blog

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Forugh Farrokhzad, tr. by Sholeh Wolpé, from Sin: Selected Poems of Forugh Farrokhzad; "After you"

[Text ID: "shattered / shattered / shattered."]

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bold all that apply to your muse. repost, don't reblog !  TW: contains mentions of abuse / neglect / death / trauma

scraped knees, silent tears in a locked room, slamming doors, pervasive loneliness, a dog barking, rain on a metal roof, flinching at movement, the creak of an old house, forced laughter, wandering in the dark woods, wondering how you made it through, sudden loss, trying to make sense of the noise, hiding what you love to protect it, trying to explain but your words falter, invaded privacy, confusion at the pain, running barefoot in the grass, wondering what you did wrong and coming up with nothing, realizing you aren’t a priority, grass stains on white clothing, trying to earn love you will never have, being threatened over the smallest mistake, secrets you are warned not to share, the feeling of never being good enough, the hope things might someday get better, grief that aches in your bones, childish dares and pranks, the sense that your body isn’t yours, shame and guilt that aren’t yours to carry, sledding down a frozen hill, absentmindedly following snakes through the grass, punching a wall until your knuckles bleed, tears over every dead creature you find, searching out small places you can hide… just in case, climbing the tallest tree so they can’t touch you, the feeling of something tainted under your skin, a curious child told to stop asking, floral dresses, body tensing at approaching footsteps, anger with nowhere to go, brief escapes from the chaos, the purr of a contented cat, taking the blame to keep the peace, being told you’re too sensitive, the creaking springs of a trampoline on a sunny day.

tagged by: @stingslikeabee  (thanks!)

tagging: commit a crime. steal it

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Leonora Folger, Only Murders In The Building

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Fyodor Dostoyevsky // Alanis Morissette

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Archadian Empire: The Imperial City of Archades, Final Fantasy XII

platform: PlayStation 2

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tarnishedxknight​:

As he listened to Noah express his disbelief at Basch being able to disappoint their father, Basch began to see just how deep Noah’s pain and resentment lay. Did he really think that poorly of himself? And that highly of Basch? Noah seemed to have a very exaggerated view of them both, one more elevated and the other more disgraced than reality truly told. Basch was confused by it all, but most of all, he was saddened. Had he know that Noah was existing with this pain for so long, he would have done something about it well before now. Regrets were all he would have if he did not try his best to mend what he could before it was too late.

Basch shook his head slowly at Noah’s assessment of him. “You speak as if I am some flawless idol, infallible and beyond reproach. I am nothing of the kind. I am no better than you, Noah, and you-” He hesitated only because he was not sure how Noah would take his deeply personal sentiment. Would he even believe that Basch spoke the truth? He decided to let his brother decide that for himself. “You mean the whole of the world to me. You are my brother. My twin. I will never have another in my life.” Let Noah hate him for saying so if he wished, it was the gods’ honest truth.

“I can fall off a chocobo’s back as convincingly as anyone else,” Basch said with a slight smirk. “If you can manage to stay mounted, and I fumble the reins and neglect my balance at a particularly inopportune time… Or I could smear something on myself that they detest beforehand, some pungent flower or fruit, and let the scent of it make them reject me completely.” That would not be enough, though. He needed to do more. “Perhaps a light injury in training due to lack of focus. I can accomplish that with a night or two of missed sleep, I’m sure,” he brainstormed further. “I will think long on it. I’ve all night to do so if I’m to get no sleep,” he said, already fully committed to this endeavor to help his brother.

Noah listened in silence; partly intrigued by the way their perception differed. As much as Basch denied the figurative pedestal he was placed on - whether it was in the presence of acquaintances or his own family; the head of the Ronsenburg household would always emphasize the accomplishments of his favourite son. Noah knew this wasn't exactly his brother's fault - all Basch did was doing his best, after all (and he would do the same himself, if he had to be honest). 

He didn't even raise his voice when Basch hesitated; shifting the focus on his personal feelings instead - letting his twin talk seemed like the better option. Half of the time Noah felt torn between the growing hostility against Basch and the strange comfort he offered - not a single second was spent doubting the words leaving his brother's mouth. 

Yet he rambled on; trying to come up with ideas to put his plan into action. His suggestions were tempting - and if it only offered the chance to see their father's reaction to his failures. Still, Noah shook his head.

"I was telling the truth when I said you shouldn't degrade yourself to elevate me, you know", he finally admitted; as Basch's ideas became more and more foolish. Of course, if he had his mind set on helping Noah wouldn't be able to stop him; but at least he tried. "Even if it was a convincing lie - it wouldn't change anything. A drop in the ocean, as one might say. Father knows you're not impeccable. Even if you fail you will remain his favored child; while I am the unwanted son." Unable to hold his brother's gaze he hid his face; focusing on his surroundings instead. "Furthermore; I don't wish for you to injure yourself while trying to advocate for me." The words came out in a rush; clear indication of the sympathy still lingering in his heart. I couldn't forgive myself if my brother was hurt because of me."

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🇭‌🇪‌ 🇱‌🇮‌🇻‌🇪‌🇸‌ 🇩‌🇴‌🇼‌🇳‌ 🇮‌🇳‌ 🇦‌ 🇷‌🇮‌🇧‌🇨‌🇦‌🇬‌🇪‌ 🇮‌🇳‌ 🇹‌🇭‌🇪‌ 🇩‌🇷‌🇾‌ 🇱‌🇪‌🇦‌🇻‌🇪‌🇸‌ 🇴‌🇫‌ 🇦‌ 🇭‌🇪‌🇦‌🇷‌🇹‌.

oc and crossover - friendly | triggering content, 21+ | based on game lore and headcanons | penned by Linda

RULES | ABOUT

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QUICK UPDATE since I have been absent from tumblr for a long time now - my mental health was very bad the last month due to some unforeseen circumstances in my life. I am on vacation now and I want to come back to rp slowly- I know I still have some replies and asks in my drafts  I plan to work on the coming days and I’m very thankful for your patience with me.

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                               i turn cruel when i am empty.                                if i cannot be loved i must be feared.

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Send me ♡ + a word, and I’ll write a headcanon.

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this is strictly for CANONICAL single muse blogs of final fantasy characters. if you are a MUTLIMUSE blog then redirect to this post here. if you are an ORIGINAL CHARACTER single muse blog then redirect to this post here. please reblog this and put the following information in the tags:

username . game . character's canonical name . #tracked tag

so because i have a single muse blog for angeal hewley it would be tagged as such:

ofsgiathan . crisis core ff7 . angeal hewley . ofsgiathan

if you have any questions, comments, or concerns then please message me. and if you intend on changing your username then please send me an ask and let me know by providing the following information:

previous username → new username previous tracked tag → new tracked tag

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                            You keep storing up all that anger and grief.                              Eventually it spills over. Or you drown in it.

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‘ you look like you just saw a ghost.’  (why does this feel like it relates to Basch in some capacity haha)

RANDOM DIALOGUE 2.0

Well, that was one way to put it.

Not even in his dreams he would have imagined his twin marching into the city of Archades undisturbed - accompanied by Lady Ashe and her insurgent companions at that. The capital was heavily guarded; every soldier was on the lookout for potential threats and spies, with additional agents of the 9th Bureau disguised as common folk. Yet here he was; waltzing into the city without hesitation - and a ghost he was; haunting his brother's mind since the day they parted ways.

Gabranth felt the familiar flame of hatred bubbling inside his chest, body tensed; eager to raise his weapon and strike down the unwanted guest in cold blood - a deed long overdue. How tempting the opportunity to end his agony right there; soaking the ground with Basch's blood; disregarding all consequences of his actions -

A pained yelp coming from the woman at his side shifted his attention back to Melissa - Gabranth had grabbed her arm to drag her away from the twin brother yet unbeknownst to her; fingers curled around her upper arm in a tight grip. Honey-colored eyes met his; her gaze unmistakably shocked - prompting the magistrate to release her immediately. Startled by his own ferocity; rage consuming him like a blaze. Melissa rubbed the skin on her arm, her gaze turning reproachful.

"Forgive me", he heard himself apologize, ears ringing - forcing himself to focus on her instead of his heart pounding in his chest. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Well, you did", the Bhujerban stated, her expression becoming softer - the same arm he had grabbed earlier reaching up, a warm hand cupping his cheek now. "I am not angry, kanta; I just wish to know what troubles you so much you feel the need to push me around like a criminal."

Gabranth hesitated. The dancer didn't need to ask for an explanation - he already felt guilty enough to clarify. "A fugitive from the Nalbina Dungeons roams the city, sunshine. A violent man, convicted to atone for murder." A partial lie; impossible to tell the truth - it would mean unveiling the shattered remains of the person he once was. An undeniable part of him that wanted to pry himself open, yearning for her to mend the fractured pieces of Noah back into a whole man. Yet he found himself telling more lies; burying his past even deeper. "I would never forgive myself if you were hurt by an individual like this, Melissa. I apologize for being rough; yet I was only concerned for your well-being."

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‘ don’t look at me like that. ’ (from Paine)

RANDOM DIALOGUE 2.0

Hazel eyes met her red ones; surprised she even dared to speak up - the intricate uniform identifying him as Judge Magister didn't bear the same authority as the unique armor; yet it still conveyed his status as the highest representative of Archadian law to the common folk. Albeit more dangerous to walk among civilians without the metal shielding him from potential aggression Gabranth considered himself skilled enough to fight off any assailant with ease; barring the fact that assaulting a Judge within city limits was an imprudent endeavor - almost insane, with soldiers patrolling almost every corner of the Empire in times like these.

Equally bold, she addressed him without hesitation; his gaze enough to encourage this unyielding reaction. Her face adorned a dossier given to any guard within national borders; alongside the large bounty the ministry of law was willing to pay for her. Officially considered a sky pirate; yet explicitly wanted by Doctor Cid himself - not even Gabranth was privy to the scientist's secret activities. When rumors about her showing up in a remote tavern on the outskirts of Balfonheim Port, the duty to arrest her was assigned to the Judge Magisters, with Gabranth being available.

While the port city appeared to be neutral, a Judge Magister striding into its streets was too much an act of aggression - another reason to renounce the armor; dancing on the fine line between presenting official enough to arrest the delinquent and not threatening the neutrality upheld by the pirate's leader.

"You are placed under arrest", he finally addressed her, keeping his voice calm - in case she was brave enough to fight, alerting the nearby pirates. "For your crimes against Archadian law. You will be escorted to the capital, where you will be tried and punished accordingly. I advise you not to resist arrest, as this will only increase the bounty placed on your head." A significant sum, should she opt to murder a Judge in cold blood. "Please follow me outside. I would prefer to avoid a confrontation."

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tag nine people you'd like to know better

favourite colour(s): purple, black and red.

favourite flavour(s): vanilla, almond, mango.

favourite genre(s): horror, mystery, fantasy, thriller

favourite music: I don’t really have a favourite genre; I like Ghost, Dir en grey, Skald and Faun but I also listen to 80s music. It’s a whole mix of genres.

favourite movie: Léon

favourite series: I’m going to divide this: for TV it’s Grimm, my favourite book series is The Dark Tower by Stephen King and for games it’s The Witcher and Final Fantasy.

last song: Ghengis Khan - Miike Snow.

last movie: Carry On Constable (I love movies from the 50s/ 60s).

currently reading: Cari Mora by Thomas Harris

currently watching: I’m re-watching Hannibal and The X- Files.

currently working on: grading our nursing students, I still have some drafts and asks in my inbox and there’s always work at home to do.

tagged by: @queenoftheboard    (thanks!)

tagging: I can’t think of nine people atm so feel free to do this.

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Mary Oliver