gdayinla

[gdayinla]

Thursday, February 2, 2023

I remember a day in second grade when my mom came to school. It was a day when parents would come to look at your work to see what you’d been doing. I’d drawn a picture of a panda eating bamboo and written some description.

My mom asked me what a word spelled and I looked. I’d written ass instead of as.

We laughed and I erased the second s.

[gdayinla]

Sunday, January 29, 2023

I miss the sounds of Cedar Park at night. When we’d climb out my bedroom window to sit on the roof. Spread out on a picnic blanket drinking cheap champagne and wine. I hated the taste.

But the sounds of the birds who were still awake cooing softly. The crickets chirped and the cicadas screamed during the summer night. I can family remember the way the fresh air smelled.

It doesn’t sound like that here.

[gdayinla]

I’m driving to work in the rain.

Satellite is playing.

I think today will be a good day.

[gdayinla]

Me atm

[gdayinla]

october 26,2022

Need to start working on my 22 things I did in 2022 lost again. I like to write big things and narrow them down each year.

Last year,

#9 was I got Covid

#17 I started reading for pleasure again

#8 I spoke in front of thousands of people at summer sessions.

Looking forward to this year’s list.

[gdayinla]

It’s been so long since I’ve posted.

[gdayinla]

october 10, 2022

how i love being a woman

[gdayinla]

Sunday, August 28, 2022

Move had so much to say recently but haven’t written them down here. Here are some thoughts.

California’s drive too slow and use their horns too much.

16 days until benefits kick in at my job. I’m getting better at it.

Taylor Swift is releasing an album, that’s going into the calendar.

[gdayinla]

Sunday, August 7, 2022

I learned recently that palm trees make fruit- besides coconuts that is. Floating in the pool last, I finally looked up and wondered: what tree has been littering the ground with these small orange fruits. I still don’t know the name. Maybe I’ll look it up.

I bought a new book called Greedy today. Love reading about bisexuality. Bought another book by the author of The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. The Barnes and Noble was in an old movie theater.

I went to the Starbucks to read. It was warmer out today.

When mom comes to town-

We go to Starbucks in Santa Monica then go to the beach

We go to the little Italy here

Maybe Craig’s to paddle board?

The power went out tonight.

[gdayinla]

Thursday, August 4, 2022

I cried at work today. Happy tears!

I watched a client on a call with a young girl for Make A Wish. It was so sweet. I sobbed. Everyone in the office was surprised I was crying.

The call made my day.

[gdayinla]

Sunday, July 31, 2022

I didn’t write because I was so busy.

I went into downtown LA for the first time. The historic district has beautiful building. L sent me parking to meet her. L is my first friend in LA.

Mee walked to Blu Jam and talked for so long while we ate French toast. We started work on the same day and yet, she’s moving on to a new job. She’s not sure what it is yet. I’ll have a friend I don’t work with. Our French toast was crunchy and delicious. They didn’t have syrup there. L says they should have a BYOS sign: Bring Your Own Syrup.

We walked over to the Last Book Store. We explored the whole place. There were two stories and a whole book arch/tunnel to walk through. It was so cool. She bought a mystery- she’s very into mystery books and true crime books. I bought the Virgin Suicides. She hated the movie. I loved it, but it was nice to talk about it.

We walked through a farmer’s market before we left.

Short entry- but it was a nice day :)

[gdayinla]

Saturday, July 30, 2022

I’m tired of looking up what the moon is in.

I don’t know what kind of flowers they are that I’m thinking of but they’re purple and in the backyard at home.

I’ve always despised the smell.

But as I sit here at my favorite reading spot, I think I smell them now maybe- and I’m reminded of my mom. I miss her. I need to tell her to book a flight for September second. And I want to greet her at the airport with a hug and tell her I need her to move out here because I’m scared I can’t do this without her. By this, it’s just living.

We used to do this warmup in UPC for exec meetings. We’d talk about what kind of color we were feeling that day.

I’m wearing my fuchsia top and a brown shirt and blue jeans and my nails are painted to brightly- but hell, I am feeling so grey today.

Belly just found out Susannah is sick again and I’m worried.

Every time I make some kind of big decision there’s always a period of worry. It’s a brief moment after I’ve made whatever decision it is like getting a rabbit where I just think that maybe I did the wrong thing, but I know that I can’t do anything about it because it’s already happened. Right now I am in a big period of worry. Maybe I shouldn’t have- Holy shit a food robot just went by.

Anyway

Maybe I shouldn’t have moved to LA for this job. I don’t know- I haven’t felt this way until Thursday night. My job feels threatened.

I’m not the type of person to get fired. I’m just not. So I’m going to make sure I’m not.

This guy at Starbucks was calling barista babe. Hey babe what size is this medium or large. Keep smiling.

God, I could throw up.

My mom calls wait staff babe, the young women mainly. But she does it in a motherly way. In the way that she used to be a server. She cares. She’s kind.

I’m looking at airplane tickets for her to fly out in September.

I’m going to cry I think. God I miss her.

I think it’d be easier if I have friends here.

I remember Aimen is in town. I text her. (Turns out she banged up her knee at the pier and can’t hangout. It’s fine)

Happiness is a slurpee and a hot pink straw

There is an old man sat under one of the umbrellas. First a woman maybe a little older than me sits with him. Then two other men, not as old as him, then maybe his family joins him.

I finish the book and leave a little after five.

I go over the one hour parking limit. I don’t know how long I sat there.

I got in the car and drove and I felt good, like really good for the first time since Thursday night. My music makes me feel good and I’m yelling. I’m also trying to kill the multiple gnats in my car. They tormented me the entire day.

I go grocery shopping. They don’t have watermelon spears. They do have theee boxes of mini chocolate chip pancakes.

I feel good when I workout for the first time in…I don’t know to be honest. I put on the playlist of Lizzo music made for a treadmill workout. Half an hour and I was so sweaty.

I need to get bike shorts.

I take a dip in the pool. Two old ladies speak in a different language at one of the tables. They smile at me. I swim.

I get back to my apartment and sit down with We’ll Always Have Summer.

The book has me nervous which does not help with the anxious feeling I still feel from Thursday. It hasn’t gone away. And I want to cry again as I read. I finish the whole book before 11.

I’m not as tired as I was last night. Last night I was asleep before 11. But I am nauseous from not eating dinner which does not help my nerves.

What I had to eat today:

-Yogurt with fruit

-Venti strawberry açaí lemonade with light ice

-2 cubes of watermelon I shared with Zuzu

And it’s 11 PM. I need to not do this. I’ll make tortellini. I wish it wasn’t too late to call someone back home.

I get to see L tomorrow. We’ll talk and I’ll have a good day. I know I will.

I make tortellini while I FaceTime F. She’s back home in TX. I cry. We talk. I feel better after the conversation to go to sleep.

[gdayinla]

My current hyperfixation, due to my rewatch of the series, is Stranger Things. I can see a second rewatch in my future.

The Hawkins Gang | Stranger Things Season 4 ↳ for @wandamaximoffs

[gdayinla]

Tuesday, July 26, 2022

moon in cancer

10 Things I can’t Live Without

-AirPods

-Wallet

-Burt’s Bees

-Laptop

-Nail polish

-Sunscreen

-Phone + pop socket

-Color pop brown creme eyeliner

-Gold earrings

Song of the Day: Probabilities, Maude Latour

I make my Steve Harrington ‘do it for him’ photo my desk top background.

I’m so damn tired and jealous of my mom who sends photos from Beetlejuice on broadway.

A coworker told me I look just like my mom today. I love it.

[gdayinla]

[gdayinla]

Monday, July 25, 2022

moon in cancer

I start my work day with driving home to get my AirPods.

Not so happy emails wait for me upon my re-arrival to work, but they’re unrelated.

I’m wearing my new blue light glasses that DVP says make me look like a ‘70s adult film star. I don’t know what she’s been watching, but I don’t see it personally lol.

B works from home for a staycation before things pick up in August for film festival season. She didn’t prep us for what this week would look like, but we roll with it.

But it’s 1:21 PM and I’m bored at this point in the day.

Oooh Djo released a new song. I’ve really been getting more into his music recently, rather than just dabbling. Think I want to listen to the Driver Era more too

“My eyes are dry as hell” - Gloom, Djo

I feel that Joe. Really do. Hence the blue light glasses, dry and tired.

I think I may write some extra blogs about my friends. We’ll see if I do that.

I think I’ll eat lunch at 2 so that way when I’m done, I’ll only have three hours left of work. I’m awaiting information at this point to get anything done. O seems to be taking notes on a call. I think I should appreciate this slow time, but am not sure if B will be pleased with the state of things when she returns. In the mean time, I’ll look at the glam grid and keep that updated. I’ll keep up with the CRC. I’ll do what I can I supposed.

Tortellini and fruit are waiting for me in the fridge. And I shall wait for them.

I didn’t type much more at work. Stayed late to work on a press kit, but I decided to stay late- not because I had to.

I FaceTime R for a while to catch up. It’s nice. He offers to make a me a Steve Harrington versions of ‘do it for him.’

I watch Stranger Things and get ready for bed.

[gdayinla]

Saturday, July 23, 2022