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To follow Christ is to strive for excellence

“Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.” ‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭9:10‬

Two months ago I went on a six-weeks holiday in Bali to reunite with my church friends. Prior to leaving Bali back in early 2019, I had started to believe in Christ again, and therefore I had several friends who had helped me during my journey as a new believer. Needless to say, I was ecstatic to meet my fellow Christians.

Having spent five years living and working in Bali, and in the hospitality industry nevertheless, I was very familiar with the challenge of finding a place to stay especially for such a long duration. What I mean by challenge is that whatever photos you see on the internet about such places, be them hotels, villas or homestays - the reality will be the total opposite.

Pro tip on anyone looking for long-term acommodation in Bali: never trust the photos. What people say about the internet is true - the reality is nothing like their pictures, be it people or things.

So a friend told me that she knew this lodging near her house which was really nice and clean (on Booking.com) and the owner was a part of the congregration. Sounds good right? In a way I applauded myself for being so naive and trusting after being such a pessimist realist during my atheistic years.

Of course the place turned up to be completely disastrous - dirty linens and bathrooms, moldy stained pillows and mattresses, spider webs on the ceiling, smelly bathrooms and broken doors and no hot water.

Naturally I was apalled - a Christian owned this place, how can this be? How is it possible? Is my standard too high or theirs too low? Surely clean is clean, there is no in between!

But I soon learned that this was not unusual.

I visited another lodging which was owned by another Christian whom I had actually met and spoken with - he was nice, a good person I would say, and I had to go through another disappointment. So great was my disappointment that I had to avoid meeting this person afterwards because how could I tell him how horribly dirty and rundown his lodging was and that he’d better do something about it - without offending him?

Being a Christ follower, these things really convict me - should I say something? Should I let him know? Should I let it go? Doesn’t he know? Surely he knows! Perhaps I should have said something to him. But based on experience, only 1/10 would appreciate my honesty. Nobody likes having their weaknesses pointed out.

I have become wise in biting my tongue and holding myself back from picking up unecessary battles that are not worth my time. It would be a different story if he’d asked my opinion.

It’s so easy for me to say, “I’m a Christian” or “I follow Christ”. But I often convict myself if what I do, from the smallest to the biggest things, glorifies His name. As a person who says that she follows Christ, wouldn’t it mean aiming for our best in whatever I do - say, in my job, for example?

Is it wrong to ask myself: As a Christian, is this the best that I can do? According to Paul, it isn’t;

“And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;” Colossians‬ ‭3:23‬

I believe in doing the best I can in whatever I commit myself to do. Paid or unpaid, small or big tasks. I suppose this has always been my credo even before I became a believer.

The difference was that back then I gave my all and got frustrated because I ended up getting burned out. Only after believing again I started to let go of things I couldn’t change, and not letting pride and frustration robbed the peace and joy God has given to me.

The old me would work to such exhaustion for the sake of perfection (and pride), whereas the new me is able to discern whether whatever it is I do is worth investing my time and energy or not.

But the danger of not striving for excellence in whatever we do is how we are seen through the eyes of non-Christians. If following Yeshua does not change our characters, our habits, our methods and what we produce from our work, then what good does it do for us? How are we different than those who do not follow Yeshua?

It often saddens me when I meet people who are non-believers producing better work than those who do. As a fellow Christian, I feel somehow embarassed. We don’t realize it because it has become somewhat normal.

A perfect example of a person who always aimed for excellence in whatever he did would be Joseph. Even when he was a nobody, he did whatever he was assigned for wholeheartedly. Even when the person he did a favour forgot him, God did not forget him. God blessed him and the land he resided in, simply because Joseph, his obedient and chosen servant was there. From a servant to an overseer in the land of Egypt, God made everything prosper in Joseph’s hand.

“And it came to pass from the time that he had made him overseer in his house, and over all that he had, that the Lord blessed the Egyptian's house for Joseph's sake; and the blessing of the Lord was upon all that he had in the house, and in the field.” ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭39:5‬

I am confident to say that God was happy to see Joseph because Joseph reflected such honesty and excellence that He, the Creator, would like to see reflected from His creation. So, isn’t it natural for God to bless Joseph above everyone else?

We are all ambassadors Yeshua. Who we believe is a reflection of who He is. Let us not tarnish His name by doing things halfheartedly. Let’s be excellent in whatever we do, big or small, because we want to glorify His name.

I’ll end this note with a quote from the book of Luke:

“If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest?” Luke‬ ‭12:26‬

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A godly woman found her strength in Jesus. Her faithful prayers glorify God's power. She needs only to be still, and God will fight for her.

Theresia Warsito, June 2020.

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Take Hold of Me

For the past week I was on a roll - studying about Bible verses more than usual, discussing what one verse means and if perhaps there was a different angle, watching documentaries and sermons on Youtube, and so on - and I yearned for more. I wanted to know who Jesus was. I remembered watching these short series called After AD on Netflix a couple of months ago, which told the story after Jesus was resurrected and ascended to Heaven, and it was good, so I was hoping to find similar shows and decided to watch this mini-series titled The Jesus Code.

2 episodes later, I was not happy. I was bothered. Even today when I woke up I found I was - still am - bothered. I tried to think of the reason why.

Then I realise; I am bothered because I am bothered by those documentaries. I do not want to feel bothered but I am, and that stirs me.

I did not like how Jesus was depicted in the documentary, and I did not like the fact that there were evidence of this other gospel that was not a part of the bible and these scholars and researchers were trying to find out what it meant and whether it was authentic or not, which sort of left the audience to their own interpretation and assumption that what was in the Bible might not be what it was. 

I am deeply bothered by it, not because it offends me, but because it shakes my faith, and I kind of hate myself because of it.

If there is an accurate depiction to describe how I feel right now, I feel like Peter when he was trying to walk on water like Jesus did and upon seeing how strong the wind was, he lost his focus, stumbled and drowned. If a man like Peter, who had seen Jesus performing miracles right in front of his very eyes, could still have his faith shaken, what hope do I have? I mean, Peter was like, Jesus’ favorite disciple.

What if I stumble upon other documentaries, articles or whatever, and I start having doubts again? 

I even tried to talk myself out of it, “You’re insane. After everything He’d done for you, you are still easily shaken?”

I prayed and ask the Holy Spirit to talk some sense into me. And suddenly I thought, “Could it be that it is not me who is bothered by it, but it is the Holy Spirit in me? It is possible that the Holy Spirit is grieved for my actions, my decision to watch that documentary and cause my faith to waver?” It says in Ephesians;

'Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ' Ephesians 4:30

I feel awful because my Holy Spirit is grieving for my doubt; The Holy Spirit that Jesus has inherited for me when I accepted Him as my saviour. The Holy Spirit that has been guiding me towards every decision that leads me to a better path. The Holy Spirit that encourages me to do more good, to have more trust in people, to show more love as opposed to suspicion. The Holy Spirit that teaches me to forgive and love others like Jesus.

I realise now that I was steering away from the Bible, and leaning on towards human interpretation about who Jesus is. 

No humans can explain the beauty and the complexity of Jesus’ message in the Bible, because humans have limitations! You can read one verse yesterday and read it again today, and it opens up to a whole other meaning that you didn’t even realise yesterday.

As I was standing in front of the window and looking out to the sky - cue dramatic, foreboding music here - searching, or perhaps summoning for some kind of normalcy to make me feel okay again, I suddenly remember my husband - the newly repented man who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder and is fighting his demon every single day - who often says this to me, “To love someone is a decision you have to make everyday.”

A decision you have to make everyday. 

How simple is this sentence, and yet it is so very powerful. Like Peter, there are days, or perhaps there will be days, that we will question our faith. There are days where we will feel frighten, we lose our focus and drown in our own doubt. But we can choose to remain faithful no matter the circumstances, because even if we fall, He will immediately stretch out His hands and take hold of us.

'And He said, “Come!” And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and *said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” ' Matthew 14:29-31

'The steps of a man are established by the Lord , And He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, Because the Lord is the One who holds his hand. ' Psalms 37:23-24

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Taking Up His Cross and Follow Him

“And He summoned the crowd with His disciples, and said to them, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.” Mark 8:34

I wish I’d understood the meaning of this question earlier. Most Christians love to wear the cross as a necklace but I don’t think we understand what it really means, because if we do, we probably don’t even need to wear it in the first place.

In Mark 8:34, Jesus says “If anyone wishes to come after Me,” - note the words “come after”, meaning that the first step must come from us. Many of us, including myself on my younger days, won’t know what this means, as we all think that going to church, give offerings and following the basic ten-commandments make us all qualified to be a Christian and to be Jesus’ follower. As long as we don’t steal, don’t murder anyone, and we respect our parents, we’re all good, correct?

Not even close.

Do you remember how annoying it is when our parents or pastors or teachers used to tell us to read our bible? Or for some of us who are more stubborn, to go to church? How often do our minds wander during the sermon thinking of other stuff we would rather be doing? Some of us can’t even keep ourselves from getting distracted by social media while we are in the church.

So the important question is probably this; How do we come after Him when we don’t even feel like it?

Coming after Jesus can only happen when the Holy Spirit guides us to do so. We receive the Holy Spirit after we have been baptized. This Holy Spirit will guide us and show us the ways we can come after Jesus.

So why, even though we have been baptized, we still don’t feel like coming after Jesus?

The answer is plain and simple - because we don’t believe in Him.

Yes, yes... we say we believe in God, we believe that God sent his son, Jesus, down to earth to redeem us from our sins and he died for us so we could be saved. Basically all the stuff written in the Bible, we acknowledge it all, but we consider those as just information. Facts. 

We don’t believe Jesus when He told us to forgive other people’s sins, just as God has forgiven us first. In principle it is a wonderful idea, but try telling this to a girl who has just had her heart broken by her two-timing boyfriend. Try telling this to a husband who has never been appreciated by his wife and therefore he decides to divorce her instead. Try telling this to a man who’s son is murdered and the murderer stands right in front of him.

Not easy.

We don’t believe Jesus when He told us to love our God will all our heart and soul and mind - it says so in Matthew 22:37. In reality, we love ourselves more. We love getting likes from our Instagram followers. We love getting praises and admiration from strangers who think we look good. We love it when people stare at us because we drive a fancy car. We love it when people feel intimidated by the luxury stuff we carry. 

We don’t believe in Jesus - we believe in ourselves. As shocking as it may sound to you, we are not supposed to believe in ourselves. 

What good would come from believing ourselves, who think we will feel better by obeying our desires to come after fame, or fortune, or power  - to get admiration, praises and control?

If we don’t even believe what Jesus tells us, how can we let the Holy Spirit guides us to come after Jesus? That is like acknowledging the fact that working out is good for our health and we subscribe to a gym membership but never set foot in the gym at all. It’s good in principle, but we don’t feel like doing it so we don't do it. 

Many of us - including myself before I realise this - do not understand the implication of refusing or delaying to take up the cross to follow Him.

Is it Hell, you may ask? 

I’ve never been to hell, but yeah, if we, say, murder someone and continue to do so, we will go to Hell, that I’m sure. But being a lukewarm Christian will not guarantee that we will not go to Hell, because it does not guarantee that we believe in Jesus either, apparently.

For me, it is Hell when I try to keep up with appearances, covering myself with branded items just so I can get acceptance from my peers and end up running myself up in debts. 

It is Hell when, instead of forgiving those who have hurt us, we keep it in our minds and let it occupy ourselves until we are consumed by hatred and vengeance. 

It is Hell when we let our pride and ego make us thirsty for more praises and admiration for strangers, only to get surpassed by others later on. 

Hell does not need to wait until we die. We bring it to ourselves the more we let our desires take over our hearts, minds and soul.

God does not want that to happen to us, and he gave the answer through Jesus, and yet... we don’t believe Him when he tells us to deny ourselves.

Now I want to picture something that is close to Heaven.

If you have read the story of the Prodigal Son on Luke 15:11, you probably get the jist of it - this kid asks for his dad’s inheritance, he threw it all away wilding it out and spent it all and went so broke he ended up eating pig’s food and thinking, “My dad’s servants eat better food than this! I have to come home!” and when he was approaching home, his dad saw him from afar and was so overcome with happiness he ran to meet his son halfway.

Let’s put ourselves in this kid’s shoes - let’s pretend we’re him, okay?

With all the awful stuff we’ve done - throwing away all our inheritance and wasting our lives - our dad, instead of punishing us, is so consumed with happiness to see us coming back home that he throws a huge party just to show everyone how happy he is.

Imagine - us, with all our flaws and failures and the stuff we keep accusing ourselves with “You’re not good enough! You’re a failure! You threw away your dad’s money and you’re so stinking poor! You’re an embarrassment to the family!” - those things don’t matter to our dad.

He loves us today, tomorrow and forever. It is indeed a wonderful story that depicts how perfect a father's love is. And this is what our Father, our God's love is really like.

All our lives we chase things that we think will make us feel better - fame, fortune, power, status - and end up feeling empty.

A tragic example that I can think of is Michael Jackson, the King of Pop. He died at age 50 of Profopol and Benzodiazepine overdose - both are antidepressant drugs. One might wonder - “if I had his fame and fortune, I wouldn’t be depressed”. But he was, and I can tell you in confidence that many others have gone through the same tragic path. Whenever a famous person end up committing suicide or die of drug overdose, we can’t help but wonder why.

The truth is fame and fortune and power and everything else we desire will never be enough. There will always be someone better-looking, more successful, more powerful, richer, etc. and off we go seeking for more acceptance, wanting more to feel good enough, and we go round in circles, doing the same thing again and again until we are spent.

Taking up the cross means to leave all those things we are chasing.

I always think to myself - when I die, I won’t bring any of those with me, so it doesn’t matter anyway. And isn’t it ironic that because of this pandemic, all those luxury stuff we’ve spent our money on don’t even worth a thing when it is compared to our health? The lifestyle we’ve worked so hard to achieve, doesn’t even mean anything because we can’t go outside and show it off anyway.

Taking up the cross means to continually believe that God loves us as we are, and people’s admiration and praises that stroke our ego and make us feel good - those are temporary, but God’s love, that’s forever.

So the choice is up to us - do we want the love that is forever, or do we want to keep chasing what our hearts desire, knowing that it leads to nowhere?

Do we want to believe in Jesus, or do we want to believe in ourselves?

(Theresia Warsito, 24 May 2020)

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It's Amazing What Love Can Do

When I saw the change in Blossom- the dog in the video-from a traumatised dog to a joyful dog, I realise that traumatised dogs are just like traumatised humans. Unfortunately most of us, including myself, carry traumas that we picked up in our lives and every time something bad happens, the trauma relives in our minds, causing us to withdraw ourselves from people who want to get to know us or reach out to us. We build invisible walls around ourselves to protect us from the pain of reliving the trauma, we develop trust issues that when God wants to reach out to us in the form of other people, we find it hard to believe, we doubt them. It takes time to break through the walls we've built for so long because we want to protect ourselves from the pain, but God is relentless, he waits for us to come out of our shell and take that first step towards faith.

All we need is just that one step to try. Be vulnerable. Pray. Reach out to Him to find out what it feels like to just be in His Grace. To experience love and kindness and to know that we are enough, we are sufficient in His love. Even when people or those closest to us fail us, we know that God will never fail us. When God replaces our stony hearts with new hearts, we learn how it is to be free in His grace and love, to run around and dance in joy, and in return we just want to share that love to others, and say, "I was once like you, but God showed me the true meaning of Love and I have been set free. I am no longer afraid. And now, it's my turn to help you."

"Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh." - Ezekiel 36:26

"Then you will be empowered to discover what every holy one experiences—the great magnitude of the astonishing love of Christ in all its dimensions. How deeply intimate and far-reaching is his love! How enduring and inclusive it is! Endless love beyond measurement that transcends our understanding—this extravagant love pours into you until you are filled to overflowing with the fullness of God." - Ephesians 3:18‭-‬19

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Covid-19 : A blessing in disguise

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." James 1:2‭-‬4

This virus is affecting everyone hard. As an ex-hospitality employee, I know for sure there are those who have lost jobs, have their salaries reduced, or currently taking unpaid leave. Meanwhile there are bills to pay, mouths to feed. Lifestyle to keep.

Right now, health is the most important thing, the most valuable asset. All those expensive, luxury stuff, the money we spend for the sake of convenience - none of them will make us immune to the virus. Even celebrities, ministers, athletes - they all got it. Globally, this virus is wrecking all the foundations of lives we have all worked so hard to build.

So why do I say this is a blessing in disguise? Our creator, our Father gave us intelligence and wisdom, and it is proven that during hardship, we are tested to overcome it, and when we do, we will come out as winners. Now is the time to re evaluate our lives, simplify everything.

We really don't need much. Once we receive the love from our Father, our wellbeing, our mindset changes. We feel loved and grateful, and the state of gratitude has been proved to increase our Serotonin hormones, as well as reducing Cortisol - the hormone that stress us out. And we all know what stress can do to our physique.

We don't need to prove to others we are someone that need their approval. We have our Father's approval. How many times have we messed up and He told us He still loved us?

When my husband and I were 'forced' to leave Bali, leave our jobs and start all over again in Jakarta, we sold a lot of our things for cheap, lost a lot of money. We gave away so many things that were inside the 2-storey house we lived in, and somehow managed to fit all our belongings in our tiny Ignis. During the process, we realised we had so many things that we didn't even need - things that used to be money. Things that didn't even matter now.

Moving to Jakarta, again we got rid of a lot of stuff, because we could only afford a small tiny room in a boarding house near work.

But life is surprisingly simpler. We realise we don't need much as long as we have God and each other, a roof over our head, food to keep us from being hungry, health to keep us living in purpose. Most importantly, love. Love from our Father keep us alive and motivated. Even in a city like Jakarta where the people really spent so much on image, we remained to have a simple life.

So let's re evaluate. Let's simplify. All we need is God. His overflowing love is much, much more valuable, more everlasting than anything.