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So today I turned away for a minute and Florence decided she had had enough of nappy changing, now she thinks it's a game.
She is growing so quickly it's scaring me.
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7 weeks today and had a surprise visit from Nan, Grandad and a hung over Auntie Kellee and Uncle Chris 馃槀 OH it's so tiring being pretty.

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Shop till you drop, then ask for boob :)
Florence Carole Ann Davies



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So, 6 weeks and 5 days Florence Carole Ann Davies weighs 9lbs, 7oz. This is great news, it means our breastfeeding journey is a success and can carry on.


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We done an adult thing 馃槑
So as real adults now, adults who have years of broken sleep ahead of them we decided a bigger and brand new bed was needed. We were using a second hand bed and mattress from my sister in laws spare bedroom. Now we have our own Kingsize bed and mattress.

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Breast Feeding Goal Achieved.
So our first goal was 6 weeks only breast feeding. We've achieved that and we want to continue.

It's been what feels like a very long but rewarding journey.
It's pulled me through the baby blues and further. The bond berween me and Flo is amazing. Flos bond with Dad is beautiful to see and now I finally can say I feel like I'm reaping the rewards of breast feeding.
Flo is latching perfect each time and I feel she's "emptying" my boobs, some times both as well as we can see her good moods n cranky ones. She's a real little person.
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Six weeks old today馃挏
It's little things like this that remind me through the rough nights and long days, she's 100% worth it.

Last night we had a screaming session (offical label now). 8pm was bath time but by 9pm Flo was screaming. That inconsolable, in pain scream. At a few parts she was silent, bright red and eyes tight shit. She wouldn't latch onto me. Her dummy wasn't working and her tummy was hard. I striped her down to her nappy and took my top and bra off. Laid her down on me, both facing the ceiling with her head just under mine. It wasn't a quick fix but after cooing, swaying and rubbing her tummy she let rip and filled her nappy.
However after redressing Flo was still to stressed and over tired. Hours of screaming will do that so after little bit more rocking and cooing I laid her in her moses basket. She went quiet and listening to her white noise you she started to fall asleep.
Next thing I know it's 6am, Florence still in her basket babbling away and smiling. Breakfast boobie was served in bed with mummy and daddy, added extra portion of smiles.
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United front 馃枻
It takes two to create life.
Tonight since 5pm Flo started cluster feeding again. This is where baby is going through a growth spurt and demands more milk. So your body needs to make more. To do this Florence every 10mins cries for the boob and seems hungry constantly. It's draining. You become tired, hungry, thirsty and lonely stuck in one spot. Typically Florence has a bath at 8ish and then feeds and is asleep by 9pm. Tonight we squeezed a bath in in between grizzled.

Above is a picture of what support means to me. Noticing Florence was cluster feeding daddy brought a chair into the bedroom, set up I'm A Celebrity and turned the brightness down on the TV as to not disturb and wake baby up to much. He brought in snacks as we went and kept my bottle full. And most importantly even when Florence wouldn't let him be the comfort he cuddled and consoled her and chamged her nappies so I could have five minutes to get comfy, go for a wee.
Finally Florence went down and stayed asleep on her Moses basket. A little victory to get through a cluster feed without feeling like a failure. At one point o was repeating there isn't anything left. But he kept me going and assured me he could hear her swallowing.
Most importantly he kept making me laugh all the way through. I almost wet myself but that's a different struggle all together.
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Starting to get alot bigger and enjoying a good chat now.

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Apparently babies can only see 30cm in front of them 馃槀 I'm being watched
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...we got this...

Leaving the house is still daunting. It's almost like I'm worried what people think if she cries, what I do as a mum or see the judging everything else? Part of me is starting to not care and focus on us as a three. Thing is if I stay in doors I start going nuts. I get very anxious and worry about everything, I freak out if someone knocks on the door, post comes or a visitor. I start to cry for help on the inside but hate it. Thankfully the dad knows me to well.
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