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We looked inside some of the posts by geirm and here's what we found interesting.
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…I like simple things, books, being alone, or with somebody who understands.
Daphne du Maurier, “The Lover” (via thelovejournals)
Wow special snowflake holy shit
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Listen/purchase: Keep by Whirr
Cloudy days lift my head up. I’ve always taken to the rain. I don’t like sunny weather. I prefer the overcast haze. I keep quiet. I take to the rain. Light shines in through the windows I think we should close the blinds. I feel safe in shadows insecurities leave me shy. I keep to myself, it’s comforting. I spend time by myself, no company.
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################################################## 1.3 - An Historical Interlud(dit)e ##################################################
Meanwhile, over in the biblical times, Jesus was coming around.
“Quick,” said the patriarch, “we’ve got to finish tidying everything before Jesus comes.”
There was a knock at the door.
“Oooohh!!!!” said the dad, putting a hand over his face.
His wife opened the door, revealing Jesus.
“Hey guys, I uh…” Jesus stopped mid-sentence, noticing the messy house. “Wow, seriously, I thought you would clean up first.”
The dad was SO embarrassed. “Jesus, I’m sorry!”
Jesus shook his head. “I ought to throw my sandals at you. Because that’s the type of shoe we wear back in these olden days. But instead, I am a man of peace, I think. So instead, I’ll just go.”
“Please, Jesus!” but it was too late… the BIG MAN was already gone.
“Shit!” said the dad, turning to his kids. “You fucking BRATS just RUINED my chances of getting into heaven… don’t you fucking UNDERSTAND what a big deal this is for me?”
He shook his head, fuming.
“I ought to fucking KILL every last one of you motherfuckers!”
“Dad…” said one of the kids.
“Don’t dad ME, you fucking FAGGOT!” He was losing the plot. “Now who’s gonna be burning in fucking HELL for all eternity… ME! That’s who!”
All the kids were feeling horrible.
Then, something amazing happened.
“Guys,” said Jesus from the doorframe. “I decided to forgive you!”
A cheer went up in the household. Nobody could believe it! The patriarch punched the air in celebration. The children danced and sung an old biblical song.
“Tora tora tora!” they all sang, jumping around. Even Jesus was joining in on the fun!
Finally, the dad turned to the camera and made a funny, Jerry Lewis esque face.
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######################################################### 1.2 - A “GAY” KINDA TOWN #########################################################
There’s an old joke. Man comes to Hollywood. Gets penis chopped off. Poos on a baby. Somethin’ like that. Anyway. Beside the point.
Miami is a brutal town, at the height of capitalism and pure ideology. Someone’s gotta kill the filthy niggers and capitalists. Detective Spade Johnson knew that if he didn’t do the job, no one would. Sometimes that meant breaking the rules and getting a bit messy. He stared out the window to his second story office at the dark night below, streets faintly lit by the ethereal glow of neon, and thought of what had been perhaps the messiest case in his career. It had all begun one hot night in June, three years prior, when a man had entered his office just a few minutes before closing time...
Our story begins with Spade on the toilet, taking a big shit.
“Aarrrrghh!” said Spade, dropping big logs down into the bowl. “Damn nigger shits! I hate shitting these niggers out!” He punched himself repeatedly in the face. “AArrrrgghhh!!!” He was alarmed to find that one of his many hemorrhoids had been ruptured.
*PLOP* went a great big poo as it landed in the bowl, splashing his testicles with the brown-stained water.
“Fuckin’ faeces, man…” said Spade, in a way that registered as wise beyond his years.
He half-wiped himself and emerged, nearly stumbling over a sexy secretary who had no doubt been listening in on his agony.
“Hey Spade,” said the lady, playing around with her breasts whorishly. “I couldn’t help but hear you grunting just now… how MANLY.”
“Oh babbbbyy….” said Spade, drooling onto his desk of expensive electronics, causing several devices to short circuit. “No, I can’t get distracted, I have too many cases today… you women, you don’t understand, but us men have to WORK. We can’t lounge around, painting our nails like you penisless creatures, you strange goddesses, with your menstruations and nipple seepage”
“No, no, you have us all wrong Mr Spade. We women, we like to work… work at...” said the lady… “work at… giving blowjobs!”
“No, ma’am, please, I…”
Suddenly, the woman was reaching at his Johnson, stroking at it through his pants.
Now, Spade was making all kinds of faces. “HOOCHIE MAMA!!” he said, writhing around in ecstatic pleasure. “Mama, mama…!!!!” He sounded like Robert Plant. “Oh, baby, baby!!!”
The woman grinned suddenly, revealing more teeth than Aristotle had thought possible and a tongue that lashed out at him, striking him on the nose... in a sexy fashion. It’s hard to describe, but you basically get the idea.
Suddenly, Spade pulled himself away.
“Ma’am… this is a workplace… it’s simply not appropriate, to go around… SEXING me… I uh, you just don’t get it, do you? It’s a different time now MAN, it’s like… jeez lady… you think you ‘all that’, but you… you ain’t nuthin’, y’hear! Don’t come back now!”
The lady, hurt by Spades rejection, scampered off, crying uncontrollably and wetting herself in the process.
With that, Spade took a quick whiff of the floor where she had wet herself, fixing the scent in his mind, and began preparing an advertisement requesting one “sexy (but appropriately behaved!)” secretary. Friskily, he returned to his office.
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