gelaaysstuff-blog

[gelaaysstuff-blog]

SUICIDAL NOTE

In the morning,

I’ll be dead.

All the thoughts

Gone from my head.

No more crying.

No more tears.

No more hateful,

Useless years.

              I am tired of everything that has happened to me. I wished that I wasn’t born when all I feel is pain and heartaches, physically and emotionally. I’m sick from all of this, being anyone’s toy, a thing to be played with. I can no longer contain this feeling from inside me and all I want to do is to put an end to it. And this is my suicidal note.

              One morning, I was awakened with an e-mail sent by a random girl whom I don’t know of. It was two in the morning when I opened the message, I was taken a back because of what it contains but it was just a moment when I realized that maybe it was just a prank message. So I’ve decided to go back to sleep. It’s been a week but it seems that my inner-self can’t get over it. It’s as if my conscience is talking to me; what if it’s true? What if that girl is already dead?  I didn’t take her message seriously, and then partly it’s my fault. I’ve been bothered by my conscience that was then I opt to make a move. I booked a flight from Germany to Philippines. Now that I’m already here in the Philippines I just then realized that I don’t know what to do next. I swear to God, that me, myself, Iyvel Rad will surely save you Ace Rylle.

3 months Later

              “Have you found any traces Ahmed?” I asked him. It’s been 3 months ever since I started this journey of ours. So much had happened in between those months but the only thing that I’m grateful for is when I found a guy who’s currently my oh-so-called best friend. And if I’m not luck enough he had the talent that could definitely helped me; him being the best hacker in the country. I’m now living in a comfortable place in San Francisco, Agusan del Sur.

              “Sorry Iyvel. Still no progress.” He replied.

              “ How I wish she’s still alive and kicking because I can’t find it in my heart to accept it.” I said. I know it sound gay but I can’t help it when it’s been running in my mind for a month.

              “Losing Hope, Iyvel? Thought you’ll do everything?” he spite back with a knowing look drawn in his face.

              “I am not Ahmed. Go back to your work and I’ll do the mine. Now move your ass.” I replied slightly annoyed.

              “Okay, okay. You are so hot headed.” He said. But I didn’t reply back as it will only make the conversation longer than what we do. Many hours had passed, silence surround the whole area with only sound of tapping keys are heard. Time flies so fast when moon starts to give light in the darkness.

              Asking, searching, hacking, we’ve done every possible ways that we can do still no improvements not even close to a clue to the point that we lost track of the time. It’s the seventh month of searching still no sign of hints laid in the table. Adding up to the spice, this month will be the difficult one as I do all the work since Ahmed can’t lend a hand because he had something to take good care of – his childhood friend Aestherille whose nine month pregnant. So he needs to be there until she delivers.

              I was doing my research when I received a text from Ahmed saying: “San Franz Doc. Room 35. Important. ASAP.” I stopped got my keys and went out to where my car is and rushed to the hospital. As I arrived I went out of my car, enter the said hospital, and got my way to room 35. There I saw Ahmed sitting in a bench with his head bent down and his hands were clasped together, praying silently. I went near him and asked what happened which made my world upside down.

AHMED’S POINT OF VIEW

              As I was placing all the groceries to the right container, Aestherille whined at me. Trying to convince me to cook for her lunch when it’s only an hour passed after she finished the whole pack of eggnog. I gave her another set of eggnog for her to satisfy her appetite temporarily. I asked her to let me borrow her laptop since I forgot mine in my house. She said yes. So I went upstairs to her room and found her laptop in her study table I opened it and the first one to appear is the messenger that was widely opened in the screen with an open message exactly as what Iyvel had from a total stranger. I was still in shock but not any longer when a loud bang of the door swung open revealing Aestherille in horror plastered in her face. She forgot to shut down her laptop leaving it in a sleep mode. Aestherille seems like she was glued to where she was standing can’t even do anything. When here I was, rage starts to build up in my heart disappointments, betrayed different emotions filled my whole being and I shouted at her.

              “ALL THIS TIME, IT’S YOU WE’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR. YOU’RE THE ACE RYLLE THAT CAN’T BE FOUND IN EVERY WAYS WE TRIED WHEN IT WAS JUST A FAKE NAME. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, TO US?!YOU KNEW THAT WE’VE BEEEN SEARCHING FOR YOU FOR 9 MONTHS! 9 MONTHS THAT WE WASTED WHEN YOU ARE JUST HERE, SO NEAR YET SO FAR.!!” I shouted letting out my frustrations and feelings. We both cried in heavy breathing, she tried to explain but my mind is not in the state to accept neither excuses nor explanations. I was about to get my phone to let Iyvel know about this when Aestherille shouted with pain as the baby in her womb wanted out. I don’t know what to do, my mind seems not to process all things that had taken place not until when a water-like spread in the floor where she was standing, I carried her to my car and rushed to the hospital. Waiting for hours, the doctor finally appeared, first it was good news knowing that the baby is healthy but not when the doctor said that the mother did not made it. Everything happened so fast it was then I texted Iyvel to let him know about this.

IYVEL’S POINT OF VIEW

              My world has fallen apart. My heart can’t hold any of what’s happening now. I can’t seem to accept it. I cried my heart out I’m blaming myself for not able to save her. One thing I realized is that I’M TOO LATE. With a heavy heart I walked to the room where her body is. My core starts to beat fast that for the first time I can finally see the face behind this façade. Pulling off the cover, a pale skinned yet beautifully made with a pair of thick brows and long curvy eyelashes, with her long pointed nose and perfect formed lips, I covered my mouth with my both hands and seated at the floor when my feet lose their strength. She’s the girl.

FLASHBACK:

              Nine months ago, before me and my family migrated to Germany I still lived here in the Philippines same place where I lived now. I was a fat ugly boy the complete opposite of who I am today. I was a victim of bullies in our school. I was a toy and a servant and the pocket money of every one. Until one night I was forced by Chad one of the bully to be at a bar together with them because they seem to have a surprise for me. Even if it was against my will, I came because of fear to be beaten up to death. In the bar, the group of bullies boys and girls played me together with the girl with the same life as me. But unlike me, she was beautiful and had the body of a goddess but with the same faith she was bullied because of her too much beauty she possessed. Things are just bearable at first being used to it. But not until Chad with his girlfriend Fiona and the other bullies forced me and the girl to strip before them. It was way beyond one’s mind, I was fighting with them because I don’t want to but the girl beside me started to stripped as if it was just nothing. I look at her face my blood runs cold there were no emotions at all. Then I was stripped by others after which, both of us were already naked. Flashes of cameras and all is their way of making fun of us. I was already crying I thought that was it but no, the fun is just getting started for them. We entered a private room and were taken a sex video of us and the rest was history. After what happened I forced my parents to migrate in places far from Philippines. And we chose Germany. After two months of living in Germany I change myself to my current self and it’s when I received a message from Ace Rylle.

END OF FLASHBACK

I don’t want to assume that the baby she delivered minutes ago was mine. But my heart strongly believed that I am.

One month after you passed away, I am still in the state of moving on because I can’t still accept the fact that you were gone. But I will live enough and happily just what you wanted it to be together with our daughter Baby Ace.

1 week after she died.

Ahmed visited me in my house and gave me a CD that contains Aestherille’s last message for me. I turn on my DVD player and put the CD inside of it.

Playing:

Hi Iyvel! First I want to say sorry for hiding from you after all the things that you’ve done to me. It was good to know that there is still someone that cared for me except from Ahmed. You know, at first glimpse of your picture after knowing that you are looking for me to save me from all pains I instantly recognized you being the boy with fat bellies and a cute round face. Our first encounter is not of that a memorable one; after what happened months ago after you disappear I still continued to be there toy, dumb isn’t it? Haha. But you know what, when I learned that I was already 2 months pregnant all I think about is to kill myself together with my baby. I love our baby even if she was made out of fun. Because I don’t want her to feel abandoned. That’s when I made a message a suicidal note where everything started in the new chapter, before I leave the world with my baby and sent to random people. But how twisted our faith are, it seemed like destiny also wanted to play with us. The next day, I already planned to hang myself but for the last time I checked my messenger especially from you and it made me happy that you’ve seen it. It gave me hope, but still my desire to end my sanity I stand firm and I was about to hang myself when Ahmed entered my room. Know what, Ahmed was my longtime friend. But his family needs to migrate so Ahmed can pursue his dream. That’s when I lost contact with him. When he entered my room he was still wearing his long thick coat. He just arrived from his country and immediately rushed in here after knowing about me then he tried to convince me not to end my life and he succeeded. Now I made it today. Please send my gratitude to him Iyvel. But I know for myself that when time will come for my delivering I know I won’t make it because I have a heart was once operated when I was young. Sorry for everything. This time I wish that you’ll love our baby – your baby just like how I loved her. Live fully. Bye Iyvel.

END

[gelaaysstuff-blog]

TEENAGE PREGNANCY

Teenage pregnancy is a common problem yet one of the biggest case that the world had ever dealt with. One of the proposed solution to this problem is by having a sex education in all school in the whole wide world. As it teaches about what a student should know to be able to protect themselves from such controversies.    

But is having a sex education will lessen the probability of students or young teens in pregnancy? In some points, maybe yes; according to my research U.S teen birth rate fell from 62 to 41 per 1000 female teens in between 1991 to 2004. However, in some sense it is not totally effective as it just gives information about what to do. Students practically face pressure in school works and any other things related to school especially when that certain student is having a family problem. Shouldn't the world suggest for mental health education rather than sex education?   

Even how good and effective the sex education is to any school but still it won't be as efficient as what we expected it to be when students starts to think how they should deal with the pressure and depressions they feel. Our mind is a powerful thing that could control our whole system. It does what it thinks. And act what it says. In instance some students had come to point where they commit to a bolder and adult things. And if depression overpowers the knowledge, those information will just go to waste.  

I am not against sex education but I'm trying to suggest that before anything else why not cut the roots where it all started so we can fully had a proper and more comprehensive sex education. If students or young teens would only know how to deal with their mentality on how to cope up with things; having a greater understanding, wouldn't it be more effective than it was before?  

Equipped with enough knowledge in both educations, we could certainly make a big difference in our world. And help improved our society with this problem out from existence.    

" When you know better, you do better."      - Maya Angelou

[gelaaysstuff-blog]

In a Battlefield

Life is like living in a battlefield, 

With a single strike, chaos starts to build.

 That in every clash of swords, blood filled the ground. 

Where bodies of a dead men scattered all around.

 In a battlefield there will always be a one man standing -- the survivor,

 Wearing a suit that shines like that of knight’s armor.

 With just his courage to fight that leads him to survive,

 Form as the sole weapon that made him alive.

 You don't need a gun that by pulling the trigger, bullets placed in the man's mind.

 You don't need a sword that by a single swing, the sharp edge pierced the heart. 

But with just having your fists with driven spirit, 

With a mind like a bullet and a heart like a sword, 

Can make you conquer the battle and became an actor by action not by word.

 Be the the sword and shield of your own history,

 Let the sound of the horn, be your melody of victory.

 Do not make the battlefield your grave,

 But for years to come, be brave. 

[gelaaysstuff-blog]

MOUNT MAGDIWATA

Naay usa ka bae nga ang ngalan kay Diwata. Pobre man siya pero gitagaan siya ug nindot nga pangnawong. Sa kagwapa niya nahigugma kaniya ang Hari sa ilang lungsod. Diha-diha nagpakasal sila ug si Diwata nabuntis. Sa Iyang pagbuntis naay gubat nga nahitabo sa ilang dapita. Sa grabe ka gusto nga mutabang ni Diwata sa away nga nahitabo, nakipag-away siya miski naay kinabuhi sulod sa iyang tiyan ug sa dihang namatay siya adto nga higayuna. Sa pila ka tuig nga nanglabay, nahimo ug kalasangan ang ilang maong lungsod kung aha nila gilubong si Diwata, sa dihang nahulma kini ug bae nga naghigda nga nagtinumaod nga kini kay buntis. Gikan adto ge tawag nila ang ang maong kalasangan ug “Mount Magdiwata”.