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04/23/17
does anyone know what it's like to have a best froend who doesnt wanna be your bestfriend? cuz i do and it sucks hey i hate the way you make me feel you make me feel like im annoying a bother worthless like i was better before like too much nothing a trash caught up in wind but the thing is no matter how much i want to hate you and ignore you i love and care too much for you so i stick around and try to cheer you up when you're down but you yell and it just sucks so horribly that you don't even want to walk next to me the girl that used to be my best friend hates my guts and there's nothing i can do about it i feel like i might have a panic attack like i might explode into tears but i think no i know you dont care apparently hating me so profusely takes all the energy you used to love me with treasure me with but now im falling into sad d e e p s p a c e but you dont realize this but wait you do you totally do you know how you make me feel you realize that maybe i'm not worth your trouble or your love or your attention and right in front of me of my face you become a jolly camper talking to anyone else hmm when did this start around vase time you ignored me until i felt almost invisible and only now am i realizing that i don't mean anything to you do i and if i do i wonder if you'll ever again show it i began to cry earlier but the people around me didnt notice a special white boy did see me but felt no need to console since im apparently always happy but im not always happy no one realizes that im not all fun and jokes and games although i may seem like it i hide my true feelings behind a mask and no one sees the scared little girl inside whoms feelings have been hurt and damaged by the one and only still my best friend there i had my panic attack right there in front of you but you didn't move a finger in fact you acted as if nothing happened and hey so did i come on if you dont love me tell me i know that whenever you talk to me its a little skit to you and i feel like i might be able to live with the act if it means that you'll live with me i would say i understand but i really truly dont because no matter how annoying i find a person i would never ever imagine to treat a person the way you're treating me especially not my best friend thank you for making me feel like a never ending annoyance but don't worry one day you'll forget all about me oh wait you already have.
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