geminimoon14

[geminimoon14]

the whole "lipstick on a pig" thing makes no sense because the second we gave a pig access to makeup she became god's cuntiest soldier

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Congratulations to Brooke from Let's Not Date for winning Father's Day.

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I wasn’t crazy about this piece so I wasn’t intending on publicly posting it again, but it keeps getting stolen every five minutes so I figured I’d put it here so people at least know who to attribute the original thing to lmao

[Digital illustration, Procreate App, 2020]

[geminimoon14]

Saw someone say that most intelligent alien life forms are likely prey animals, so I wanted to add something after falling down the humans are space orcs rabbit hole for the millionth time.

Humans are predators right? But in our day to day lives we don’t really act like predators very often. Very few of us actually have an experience with hunting, with one exception; bugs. Especially flies or mosquitoes.

Imagine you board a ship and all of your crew mates are life forms from other planets, all of them just so happen to be prey. You’re an engineer and general aren’t seen as very threatening. You’re the first human the crews ever had on board so they have no reason to think you would be. That is until somehow a fly gets onto your ship.

It’s meal time and this fly just will not stop bothering you. No one else seems to be doing anything so you decide to be the one to kill it. You go dead still and track it with your eyes, watching to see where it lands. Once it does you move slowly until your hand is directly above it, holding your breath before slamming your hand down. Finally the pesky bug is gone and you can go back to eating. To you it’s no big deal. I mean it’s just killing one bug right? But when you look up after rubbing the dead fly off the table with your shirt, everyone’s staring at you with a look of shock, horror, or fear.

After a minute or two everyone seems to unfreeze and go back to what they were doing, still nervously glancing over their shoulders at you every minute or so.

After that your crew mates seem to always be slightly on edge around you. Listening to you more often than before, and letting you lead in situations where violence might need to be resorted too. While it’s not technically your job on explorations, you in no way mind being able to protect your crew.

Plz tell me how to tag this is my first time posting something I actually spent time thinking about.

[geminimoon14]

Insta was really interested in this, so I thought I'd post it here too! 🌻 Jumpscare of my eyes under the cut:

[geminimoon14]

-deep breath-

A 'no questions asked' food pantry means no questions asked.

When we're stocking our pantry, we are not looking at a person's clothes or their accessories or what kind of car they drove there in. We are HAPPY to see it BEING USED AT ALL.

I don't know anyone's situation. Maybe they got that designer bag at a thrift shop. Maybe its a knockoff. Maybe it was a gift. Maybe they got it when they had money and now they don't have money. Maybe they're getting stuff for a friend.

Maybe they have plenty of money, don't need to be taking stuff from the pantry, but they are anyway because we said-

NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

Do you know what happens when someone takes from our pantry when they don't need it? We're down one item. But maybe they tell someone that the pantry is there. Or maybe they come back to it when they need it. Or maybe they throw a dollar in the donation box. Or maybe they put an item on the shelf. Or maybe they come to our food drive.

WE DONT CARE.

We don't care who used it.

We care that it was used.

Im not a cop. Don't make me do cop stuff, I wont do it.

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She fully didn't watch the segment because Jon did a very nuanced, thoughtful segment. He drilled down to kids just wanting to have a community and have fun.

What these TERFS are pissed off about is that he showed how disingenuous y'all are when you go "omg that trans athlete hit a ball really hard and it hurt a cis women" because when you look into it cis women even on their team hit harder then them. Because he pointed out that cis girls harm each other in sports all the damn time. He pointed out that when there was a bill to protect cis women athletes against sexual predators like coaches. Y'all decided not to pass that while passing an anti-trans bills all while claiming you just care about protecting women.

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Source

[geminimoon14]

[geminimoon14]

The fact that animals that care for their young will sometimes adopt others' lost or orphaned young to raise along their own is just funny to me. I know that it's all hormonal and there's no conscious thought involved in it, but the internal logic of it is so funny.

"Baby = success. More baby = more success. I have one baby and I found four other baby. I have five baby. I am being so fucking successful right now."

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Au where when Stan goes to Ford’s house after the postcard, he has a concussion so when Ford checks his eyes the pupils are mismatched and Ford is like wtf and has to treat Stan while he wonders when exactly he got the concussion and if it was in New Mexico, how the heck did he drive all the way to Oregon while concussed

Oh man its one of my FAVORITE flavors of Gravity Falls AUs, where either Stan is fucked up or Ford is fucked up and they dont fight as much when Stan arrives.

Imagine youre Stan. Right, you're living a kinda shit life, not that anyone cares, and occasionally you get the shit beaten out of you for reasons that usually aren't ENTIRELY your fault. You've had more head trauma than is certainly healthy, you've lost an organ (or maybe two) past what's considered normal, and you've lived in your car for so long that if you told anyone that they'd look at you with pity, not that you'd want that. Life's not GREAT, but hey, you woke up the morning after you got hit in the back of the head with a crowbar and you can still count to five, so that's not so bad!

And then a postcard arrives. It's your brother, and judging by the fact that he's writing in that rushed blocky handwriting you only remember as the style he writes in while sleep deprived and stressed, you understand he's in deep shit.

Well. Fuck. Because so are you.

But YOUR type of deep shit (massive head trauma, malnourishment and withdrawals) is nothing compared to HIS type of deep shit (how bad does it have to be for him to call YOU?!) so you back your shit, kiss the roach infested motel room goodbye, and start operating heavy machinery to get to Oregon. (Which you KNOW you aren't supposed to do.)

As you snap back to actual consciousness for the sixth time in a row (WHILE DRIVING) you understand that maybe driving under the influence of a metal stick to the brain might not be the best idea. In fact its a bad idea. There's nothing more youd like than to pull over and just wait it out.

But Ford called you. And possible tramatic brain injury or not, you'll go.

Besides. Its not like Ford's gonna KNOW. The nerd is unobservant about people on a good day, and FORD, asking for HELP? The nerd is probably so wired on stress alone that he's not even gonna notice until the concussion has faded to a manageable level (or whatever problem Ford's calling you to fix is fixed) either way, it'll be fine.

And then your brother opens the door and shoves an honest to god CROSSBOW in your face, because apparently thats how he answers the door nowadays. Great. And THEN, because the Universe thinks this situation is hilarious and likes to fuck with YOU specifically, Ford drags you inside by the front of your sweatshirt and shines a flashlight DIRECTLY into your eyes.

One eye. Then the other. At first Ford starts to loosen his grip, and then all of a sudden the light comes right the hell back (Those are your EYES goddamnit Ford, that's too bright-) and even more intensive.

You can't actually SEE, but you can feel it in the air when Ford goes deathly still, going back and forth shining a light between one of your eyes and then the other one. Ow. You can't actually pull away, because your legs are a little weak, head trauma really just-oh. Right.

Ford's face looks very serious, and very concerned. Shit.

Imagine you are Stanford Pines. Paranormal Researcher turned horror movie main character, you haven't slept in days, haven't had anything but coffee in probably longer than that, and as a last resort, that final safety net, you send a postcard to your brother to help you with your little demon problem.

He shows up faster than you might have thought. It's been two days since you sent the postcard (granted you did send it via magical mailbox) but still, its a welcome sight.

You check your brother's eyes before he comes in. Its a safety procedure, and its perfectly normal in context, which is not something you'd share with your twin.

One eye, perfectly round pupil, the same solid brown as it's ever been. The other eye, brown, pupil tiny in the sea of Stan's eye.

Great, outstanding, not a single hint of yellow in either one, No Bill.

Wait.

You check again. Brown, brown. Something is wrong with this picture.

It takes you an embarrassingly long moment to realize Stan's eyes are different sizes. One is blown up wide, the other a pinprick.

That's not normal.

You were never one for medical research. It's certainly interesting, but nothing is as fascinating to you as weirdness. But everyone knows, or everyone should know, that someone with different sized pupils who doesn't NORMALLY have different sized pupils, is probably under the duress of a medical condition.

You tell your brother to smile. Its a common question to a possible stroke victim.

Stan does, wide and yet utterly confused, and he's missing a canine. You file that away for later.

Not a stroke. Probably a concussion. You drag your brother further into your house and as you do you realize he's walking funny, unbalanced and dizzy, and while his words dont slur you can hear that he sounds bad.

You remember that he DROVE to get here. Your brother does not look capable of driving.

He does not look capable of driving. He does not look alert enough to take your journal and get on a boat going anywhere. He does not look currently capable enough to stand on his own, let alone leave again.

Brain injuries are very serious. Your BROTHER'S brain injury is more serious to you than your current situation. You can't find yourself to actually be upset about that, especially with the knowledge that when you tell Stan he has a concussion, he waves it off.

When you tell him he shouldn't be driving, he asks you how else he was supposed to come help.

You lock the journal in a kitchen cabinet. You put the key into the toaster. Bill has problems with fine motor skills. He won't be able to fish it out properly.

You need to deal with this first.

That night, neither of you sleep.

[geminimoon14]

Reasons why computer problems seem to mysteriously vanish as soon as a technician shows up:

You were spacing out and skipping a step somewhere without realising it, and you can’t reproduce it when you try to demonstrate it because now you’re paying attention to what you’re doing

It’s an intermittent electrical connection fault that’s being aggravated by movement/vibrations in your desk; you need to check your cables

The act of explaining the problem to someone caused you to figure out what you were doing wrong

The real cause of the problem was somewhere upstream of your terminal device – for example, at the network service provider – and it got fixed at the source while you were waiting

Your computer is in a location with poor airflow and is overheating; waiting for the technician to arrive gave it a chance to cool off

Despite all appearances to the contrary, modern computers actually have very good fault recovery, and most minor problems will sort themselves out on their own if you give it a minute

Magic

[geminimoon14]

yeah i’m a false prophet but you believed me so whose fault is it really that we’re in this mess

[geminimoon14]

Pronouns? Yeah I gots all the pronouns you could want. Bootleg? No, no, you've got it all wrong. They just, uh, fell off the back of a truck. Now, can I interest you in a she/sher? Or how about a nice he/hee? That one's gonna get real popular, lemme tell you what. What? I'm telling you, these are genuine articles of speech. Look kid, I don't normally do this, but you buy a set of, uh, lemme see... not those... you/youse, I'll throw in another pair free. I dunno, for your dog or something. You ever think about your dog's pronouns? I thought not. Cash only.