gender-queeries

[gender-queeries]

[gender-queeries]

I absolutely agree that transmasculine people face different problems than transfeminine people, hmm I wonder if we could come up with a word to specifically describe the transphobic issues that transmasculine people have to deal with, perhaps something including the word trans and, like, a greek syllable meaning masculine, or something

surely such a word would be seen as a good thing to have at ones disposal to talk about one's own oppression

hmmm

This is a bad faith ask, but I guess it's as good a place as any for a ramble. I hope it's coherent.

First off, I feel like my blog is getting lumped into a lot of other blogs as a "trans woman who talks about transmisogyny" and points are being ascribed to me that I never really said. I respect them a lot, and I follow them. But I'm an individual person with my own nuanced opinions on the topic.

Also, yes, this will largely be a nitpicky terminology post. It's a a rambling societal analysis from someone with a STEM background. Don't call this "infighting". To be blunt, if you get riled up by this, that's on you.

Here's what you need to understand: transmisogyny is not called transmisogyny because it's transphobia affecting trans women. Transmisogyny is called transmisogyny because it's the manifestation of existing misogynist biases and talking points, applied to trans women. Creating the term "transandrophobia" as an equal foil to it is implying existing, pervasive androphobia against cis men.

Per the original use of the terminology (I'm literally just poorly summarizing Whipping Girl here, which is basically transfeminism for dummies), transmisogyny exists because of two related, but distinct deeply ingrained biases of misogyny:

One, the societal belief that male/man and female/woman are separate categories with a MASSIVE, uncrossable rift between them, and are intrinsically different as completely separate biological or theological categories (this is termed oppositional sexism)

Two, with respect to these two categories, men and masculinity are superior to women and femininity.

Transgender women assault both of these points to create a massive reflexive disgust reaction in a misogynist. One, they break down the barriers between men and women. And two, they provide examples of somebody "choosing" womanhood, and being uplifted and empowered by it. The first point is something we share with trans men, but let's hold on to that point for a moment.

As I've said before, transmisogyny then manifests as a property of this reaction. The second point leaves people scrambling to think of "alternate explanations" for a trans woman's transition- leading to false accusations about why trans women want access to women's spaces, that trans women are fetishists, and that trans women want to "cheat" in women's sports.

Does this mean that trans men don't have unique struggles, or that we shouldn't fight for transmasc's struggles? Of course not. However, these struggles are not an emergent property of a societal hatred of men.

Instead, a lot of what trans men face feels to me like repackaged misogyny. THIS IS NOT SAYING THAT TRANS MEN ARE NOT MEN, OR THAT ALL TRANSMASCS ARE ACTUALLY WOMEN. This is an acknowledgement that misogyny is a system of biases that aims to create a patriarchy. Those biases have the goal of male superiority, and oftentimes, hit trans men as well- because a system that needs to tell men that they're "biologically superior" is one that can never allow an "inferior" person to put themselves in that category.

Eg: trans men are often forced into positions where they're treated as women, often violently. This is to maintain the separation of men and women, and to assert men as superior. Trans men are affected by reproductive health regulations written to suppress women, sexual violence intended to suppress women, etc.

Some of these mechanisms often also affect trans women. Particularly sexual violence and sexualization.

And some don't. Some are genuinely unique to transmascs. And if you want to use the word "transandrophobia" to describe all of them in one go, then sure I guess. It's not a huge deal, but you have to acknowledge that we're talking about something almost entirely different at that point. But, if you're portraying trans androphobia as the genuine one-to-one equal of transmisogyny, with the same roots and same usage, you're also saying that societal androphobia exists. Which, to be frank, it does not- as a societal force. I'm sure you have a cousin or a great aunt that genuinely believes in some kind of matriarchal state, but c'mon. They're not mainstream in any political movement, no, not even TERFs.

Talking about transmisogyny isn't about erasing trans men's issues, it's about recognizing the misogynist roots of transphobia to more accurately hold fast against it, find solidarity with other feminists, and restructure communication to people outside of our movements.

And yeah, I am going to uplift trans men, and talk about issues affecting them. Saying I don't is ascribing a lot of things to me that I'm not saying.

This is the dignified part of my response. I'm typing my more irate, hysterical thoughts here, but I genuinely hope this opens some respectful discussion.

Part 2 of this post will be what I'm mad about, and what my frustration is.

[gender-queeries]

even beyond the fact that you also shouldn't be cruel to poly people, like, it's just really very hard to ignore that every single joke about "[regional] polycule" or poly roommates or whatever else seems to lead back to some very nasty statements about fat people, disabled people, and/or trans women at its core. which isn't surprising at all if you understand these to be affirmations of the norm per monogamy but you see them soooo often from people who purport to have the politics of those who fucking know better

[gender-queeries]

i don't know if people know this but the idea that AGAB is useful in medical contexts is actually actively dangerous

one of my friends has CAIS. they were assigned female and have a prostate. they have been denied prostate exams multiple times on the basis of "being assigned female" despite insisting that they had valid concerns about symptoms that aligned with prostate cancer. guess what happened when they finally got an exam? they ended up having prostate cancer

it fortunately is now in complete remission, which is why they're comfortable with me talking about it, but you see the issue here? biology is never as simple as assigned sex, by judging the care someone needs by their proximity to maleness or femaleness any mixed or otherwise "abnormal" sex characteristics they have are completely ignored

it doesn't just affect intersex people either, you're throwing trans people under the bus as well. transitioning does change your sex characteristics, trans people should have access to medical care that is catered to their body and not to their assigned sex

[gender-queeries]

Do you actually care about transmascs or do you just like slapping top scars on fictional twinks and talking about boy pussy

[gender-queeries]

i love you dysphoric nonbinary people whose dysphoria doesn't make sense to binary people. i love you dysphoric enben who struggle to feel affirmed in their gender because there's so many less cultural avenues for affirmation when you aren't binary.

i love you euphoric nonbinary people whose euphoria doesn't make sense to binary people. i love you euphoric enben who struggle to share or express their euphoria because it is seen as cringe or performative or threatening.

and most of all i love you enben who are denied medical transitions, legal transitions, and social transitions specifically because you refuse to be binarized.

[gender-queeries]

People still tend to lump JK Rowling in with the category of ~problematic artists~ and I need everyone to understand that is not the problem with her. She is not comparable to anyone who wrote a piece of fiction you hate, or someone who made rude comments in 2015 and has since learned better.

She is far more like Elon Musk. She is a radicalized person with an extreme amount of social and financial power, and for YEARS she has been using that power to try to influence her government into hurting vulnerable people, on purpose. And she has succeeded. THAT is the problem with her, and THAT is why spending money on her books is so dangerous, not because her books aged badly.

Critiquing her work is fine, of course (I personally was never a fan so I really don’t care) but you NEED to understand that fiction is not the main issue here. And I truly think acting like she’s the same as the rest of any giant list of ~problematic creators of the week~ waters down how dangerous she is.

[gender-queeries]

Happy Pride Month!!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[gender-queeries]

really not sure when it happened or why but personally I'm pissed that the queer community at large seems to have given up ground on the "people with penises/vulvas/testes/ovaries" language to sex & gender essentialists in exchange for the much less precise, much more demeaning "AGAB" language.

is it because you're scared of the word vulva? of acknowledging out loud that some people have penises? of recognising that many many people, including but certainly not limited to trans people, have mixed sex characteristics that cannot be accurately summarised by "afab/amab" as shorthand for "female/male"?

"in [GENITAL RELATED] situation AFABs will need to do X and AMABs will need to do Y" there are "afabs" with penises and "amabs" with vulvas. Saying this shit makes you look so unserious & honestly transphobic (given the ongoing erasure of post-op trans people within broader community). Intersex people and GRS have both existed for long enough (fucking forever and, decades, respectively) that we should well past making this basic fucking mistake.

quit referring to people by a vague & often violent event that happened at their birth as though it defines ANYTHING about how they & their body currently operate, and start using precise language so you at least look like you know what you're fucking talking about.

[gender-queeries]

Fauxboy & Fauxgirl

Only identifying as a "boy" because it makes it easier to explain to people who wouldn't understand your true gender, only being a "boy" for safety reasons, or your gender feels like a fake, false, made up boy!

Only identifying as a "girl" because it makes it easier to explain to people who wouldn't understand your true gender, only being a "girl" for safety reasons, or your gender feels like a fake, false, made up girl!

[gender-queeries]

“gender and sexuality are separate concepts” and “my gender and my sexuality are inherently connected in ways i cannot articulate clearly with words” are concepts that can and do coexist

[gender-queeries]

PAJAMAFEM

[ pt: Pajamafem. end pt ]

ID will be added later /srs, we're just tired rn

A xenogender for when someone's gender identity is, relates to, or is connected to pajamas in any way, and is also feminine

Reasons why an individual may use this term:

[ pt: Reasons why an individual may use this term: end pt ]

The individual's gender identity is, relates to, or is connected to pajamas and femininity

The individual's gender identity is, relates to, or is connected to putting on pajamas, as well as femininity

The individual's gender identity is, relates to, or is connected to an aspect of pajamas, for example, the fluffiness of pajamas, or any other aspect, and femininity

The individual's gender identity is, relates to, or is connected to both pajamas and femininity seperately

The individual identifies as pajamas in some other way (for example: being objectkin of it) and it affects their otherwise feminine gender identity in any way

Any other reason you can think of!

Pronoun ideas (optional, of course!)

Any fem pronouns

paj/pajs/pajself

pyj/pyjs/pyjself

comfy/comfys/comfyself

sleep/sleeps/sleepself

🛌/🛌s/🛌self

🛏️/🛏️s/🛏️self

💤/💤s/💤self

😴/😴s/😴self

tagging: @radiomogai Link to masculine alternate version: Pajamamasc

[gender-queeries]

So right now I have a main name or two, but im nomifluid and always looking for names lmao. I wont be too specific cuz i feel like thats rude 😭but im looking for names from these:

Culture wise: celtic/irish, germanic, slavic, american/british

Can also be straight made up lmao, i make up names all the time

Mythological: greek, celtic, slavic, germanic, cryptid/folklore

Any object/aesthetic name to do with weirdcore, cryptids, darkness/shadows, mushrooms, dreams, demons, angels, grunge/punk/goth

Any time period from now to literally the middle ages is fine lol

ILL TAKE ANY NAME FROM THESEEE it doesnt have to be a huge list either 😭😭😭

For the sign off ill do 🫧🍄

you didn't tell me whether you preferred feminine, masculine, or gender-neutral names, so i'll give you some of each!! i hope at least one of these speaks to you

(also i'm so sorry there are so many, i got carried away and did this for literal hours on end)

'Real' Names

Feminine:

Achlys - from Greek Mythology, means "mist" or "darkness", is said to be the name of one of the figures on Herakles' shield

Aisling (typically pronounced "ash-ling" or "ash-lin") - Irish, means "dream" or "vision". variations include Ashling, Aislin, Aislinn, and Aislynn

Aureole - English, means "radiant halo"

Ciara (typically pronounced "keer-ah") - Irish, feminine version of Ciar. variations include Kiera

Melanie - English, French, Latin, and Greek, the French form of the Latin name Melania, which was derived from the Greek word μέλαινα (melaina, means "black" or "dark"). variations include Melany

Michaela - English, feminine variant of Michael. variations include Makayla, Mckayla/McKayla, Mikayla, Michayla, and Mikhaila

Morrigan - Irish, means "demon queen" or "great queen", the name of a goddess of war and death in Celtic mythology

Naomh (typically pronounced "neeve") - Irish, means "holy". variations include Niamh and Nieve

Reverie - English, means "daydream"

Sanja - Slavic, means "to dream"

Sanjica - Slavic, diminutive of Sanja

Seraphina - English, derived from the biblical words seraphim (the name of an order of angels)

Masculine:

Asmodeus - of Biblical origin, means "wrath" and "demon", the name of a demon in the Book of Tobit. variations include Ashmedai, Asmodai, and Asmodaios

Ciar (typically pronounced "keer") - Irish, means "black", variations include Kier

Duff - Scottish or Irish surname, Anglicized spelling of the Gaelic word dubh (meaning "dark")

Erebus - from Greek mythology, means "nether darkness", was the personification of the "primordial darkness" in Greek mythology, variations include Erebos

Ingram - Germanic, composed of Germanic words angil or engil (see Engel) and hram (raven)

Kirk - English surname, derived from the Old Norse word kirkja (meaning "church")

Malachi - English & Hebrew, meaning "my messenger/angel". variations include Malakai

Michael - English, means "who is like God?", the name of an archangel

Naomhan (typically pronounced "neeve-in" or "nevv-in") - Irish, masculine version/diminutive of Naomh. variations include Niven and Nevan

Orpheus - from Greek mythology, likely means "the darkness of night", the name of a prominent figure in Greek mythology

Rocco - Germanic, possibly derived from the Germanic word hruoh (meaning "crow/rook"). variations include Rochus

Sanjin - Slavic, masculinized version of Sanja

Androgynous:

Angel - English, meaning is pretty self-explanatory

Ciaran (typically pronounced "keer-in" - Irish, diminutive of Ciar. variations include Kieran, Kieron, and Kyran

Engel - Germanic, originally associated with the Angles, but has since come to be closely associated with angels due to its similarity to the Old German word for angel, engil

Mikey - English, common nickname for Michael, sometimes used as a name on its own

Phoebe - English, the Latinized form of the Greek name Phoibe, meaning "bright" or "pure". Phoibe was also the name of a Titan from Greek mythology, who was associated with the moon

Raven - English, self-explanatory meaning

most of these names were found and/or defined using the Behind the Name website, which is a very helpful resource that i recommend to folks looking for names (for themselves, friends, and/or OCs)

Nouns and Made-up Names

Agaric - shortened form of the name of a large genus of fungi (Agaricus)

Amanita - the name of a large genus of toxic mushrooms

Caddy - a common nickname for the Cadborosaurus willsi, an old cryptid, said to be a sea serpent

Leed/Leeds - another name for the Jersey Devil, a well-known cryptid said to roam the South Jersey Pine Barrens

Willsi - the end of the name of the Cadborosaurus willsi (prev.)

Yarri - a common nickname for the Queensland Tiger, a cryptid said to roam the Queensland area of Australia

[gender-queeries]

Can you make a Polo from Imaginary Friends Asylum gender? It's like most charic genders where your gender is associated or influenced by the character. You can just color pick from his design. Not exclusive to any group. Let me know if you need more info

-💜

i don't know anything about Imaginary Friends Asylum, so this is an invitation for any followers (or anyone who sees this), who does have some understanding of the show, to coin this gender for you! i would love to help you myself, but i feel weird coining genders for things that i don't know about myself

[gender-queeries]

Hey uh- I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, I'd this is the right place to ask or anything but-

I'm genderfaun, and right now, I've been experiencing a gender that I used to call agender, like a void of sorts? But right now it feels like, like space and waves? Like the best way I can describe it is, one of my other genders is demimasculine, with connection to masculinity without being male. Right now I feel a connection to space and waves in the same way I've felt a connection to masculinity. I can't find a term for that, is that something that has yet to be coined or have I just not looked hard enough?

(Again, so sorry if this is not the right place to ask- I'm just sort of grasping at straws)

- ☄️⭐️

i haven't been able to find any genders that are related to both space and waves, but here are some (under the cut) that are related to space or waves, feel free to combine them, or identify with multiple!!

Space Genders:

Astralgender - a gender generally connected to space

Caelgender - a gender that "shares qualities with" space and/or is connected to the aesthetic of space, stars, galaxies, etc.

Moongender - a xenogender associated with one's connection to the moon, lunar activity, and the zodiac

i was able to find a xenogender specifically related to waves; olagender!! it took a while, and it only concerns the wave-related part of your gender, but you can combine it with the others listed to make on specific to your gender (i.e astralolagender, olacaelgender/caelolagender, moonolagender/olamoongender), and i'll also be more than happy to coin a combined gender between olagender and another (pre-existing or not) for you!

i hope this helped, sorry for the (VERY) long wait

[gender-queeries]

I’m getting into xenogenders, how do I start?

for me, getting into xenogenders meant finding online communities that were dedicated to them. there is a very large mogai community on tumblr, and a small one on reddit as well. in my experience, twitter (or "X" i suppose), instagram, and pinterest aren't ideal for finding online mogai/xenogender communities. pinterest and instagram are difficult places to have thorough conversations, as they're both image-based, and twitter has so much drama and discourse that can make its community stressful. tumblr's and reddit's communities have their issues as well of course, but i generally find them to be more accepting and chill, and easier to join.

i recommend looking through the mogai-related tags on tumblr to find some blogs you vibe with, although be warned that there of course won't be a lack of discourse by any means. if that's not something you feel you can engage with right now, maybe take a break before joining these communities, because they're not always the easiest to be a part of

if you are feeling up to looking through tumblr, feel free to check out the tags on this post (except for the first one ofc, that's just for my own blog's organization)

[gender-queeries]

We owe fat LGBT people everything