genderfluidchunhua

[genderfluidchunhua]

Gu Yun Week Day 3 - Fathers & Sons

As much as I would like to write some real fucked up changgu fic based on the idea of filial cannibalism, I have already written more this week than I think I did like, all of last year, so instead I'm just gonna thought-dump about Gu Yun and Gu Shen. Not really meta, as I don't think this is anything the text doesn't already cover, but just. Thoughts. Mostly that it's interesting that through most of the novel we only see Gu Shen through the distortion of the public's perception of him, or Gu Yun's memories, which are distorted in other ways. And neither of these are particularly kind to Gu Shen. In public opinion, he's a skilled military leader, but also absolutely heartless. To Gu Yun, he is the memory of childhood trauma, of one of the hardest periods in his life.

And then we get to the 'Gu Shen' extra. This is the first time we actually see Gu Shen first-hand, rather than filtered through another person. While the narrative presents the possibility that what we're seeing is a dream Gu Yun is having, I'd argue that the long sections without Gu Yun present and the 'present day' evidence of the box of toys means that Gu Yun's dream is just a transition device - we as readers are getting the full view of a memory that Gu Yun remembers just the tail end of as part of his dream. The first-hand view we get of Gu Shen is far more nuanced - he's still imposing in command, but also seems to love his wife deeply, and flirts with her with the same sort of charm Gu Yun later uses on Changgeng. And with Gu Yun, we see a man who has had access to zero parenting books and who is perhaps out of his depth with his troublemaker son, but who still cares and wants him to prosper.

And that view makes me think that the Black Iron camp incident was a trauma that affected more than just Gu Yun, even though he's the focal character. To Gu Shen and the First Princess, their hopes of their son having an easier, brighter life them are shattered. And I think that's what we see in the secondhand story in the Qingming extra - Gu Shen seems to be angry with Gu Yun, but it's an anger born of fear, that if he can't make Gu Yun stronger, the world would destroy him. And this is something that even Gu Yun acknowledges to himself in the 'Gu Shen' extra - that looking back on it from an adult's perspective, less clouded by his own feelings, he can understand why his father acted the way he did. And understanding isn't forgiveness, but it definitely gives their relationship more depth.

[genderfluidchunhua]

“Gu Yun was slightly startled and laughed in spite of himself. "I'm in charge of everything?

What if I lose?"

Chang Geng smiled without a word, his eyes fixed intently on Gu Yun like a pool of still water suddenly broken by a ripple. If eyes could speak, his would have clearly announced to the world, If you lose, I will share your burden of infamy for all eternity. If you die, I will accompany you in death.”

———————

HOLY SHIT.

[genderfluidchunhua]

“I suppose I had always hoped that, through an act of will and the effort of practice, I might be someone else, might alter my personality and even my appearance, that I might in fact create myself, but instead I found myself trapped in the very character which made such a thought possible and such a wish mine.” ― Lyn Hejinian, My Life

[genderfluidchunhua]

not easy being a "eat every grain of rice" cunt fuckass bitch (bowl scraping noise extended 10min club mix)

[genderfluidchunhua]

North-west Flower

[genderfluidchunhua]

i love how much of sha po lang is just years going by with gu yun in the background ostensibly killing a bunch of ppl

[genderfluidchunhua]

listen, cao niangzi is genderfluid and chang geng is a socialist, i don't make the rules that's just the way it is

[genderfluidchunhua]

update!! ch 67

dm me for link.

the nice long chapter 67 is now up and edited!

highlights include gu yun's amazing flute skills, chang geng's unparalleled fashion choices, and...!! **flirting**

[genderfluidchunhua]

working on chapter 67 all i can think of is this

[genderfluidchunhua]

a sample, if you will ~

dm me for the link!

[genderfluidchunhua]

been reading spl lately

[genderfluidchunhua]

we stay in this mess, this beautiful mess tonight

(artwork from november 2021)

[genderfluidchunhua]

the mother father and his favourite son

[genderfluidchunhua]

a post card i was commissioned to draw for a local con 💛

[genderfluidchunhua]

READ THIS FIRST 💖

i'm working on an edited version of a fan translation of sha po lang, starting with the chapters that haven’t yet been released by seven seas. there will be no update schedule because that’s not how my brain works! but i am passionate about sha po lang and about grammar so expect frequent updates if not regular ones. i will try to get as much done as possible before may so you can get the content of the novel earlier than it will be published!! you have to dm me for a link. once you have it, the doc will update automatically with each chapter as i finish them.

i found that i couldn’t wait months and months to read the next english installment of my favorite danmei novels, so i turned to online fan translations where i could find them. however, a lot of the existing ones are nonsensical and make reading to the end of a story very difficult! there are some (i'm lookin’ at you, erha) that are completely unreadable, so i can’t really fix those up - in these cases, most of the time i'm mystified about what a sentence is even trying to convey. BUT there are some that just need a little polishing. i'm not promising seven seas level translations but i can at least straighten out the grammar most of the time.

i found a sha po lang fan translation and i'm not going to credit the translator, unfortunately - because this isn’t exactly kosher, i'm not an experienced editor, and i don’t want to implicate them in my shenanigans.

this is the novel as filtered through a few layers of translation and interpretation so i'm sure some of it will be wonky or wrong! i unfortunately do not possess the skill of reading mandarin so when i come across unclear passages i do the best i can. i would LOVE feedback!

i try to stick with the names and other conventions of the first two volumes published by seven seas. where i find something new or unclear i create a note explaining my choice. i do my best to NEVER change the meaning or cultural context of any passage. all my edits are purely grammatical and/or finding better vocabulary for what i believe is being conveyed. that said, that leaves SO MUCH room for interpretation, plus i'm already working from someone else’s interpretation! so again, feedback is appreciated.

i don’t like buying things and i don’t like corporations and i don’t like copyright law. i think there’s generally a gap to be bridged between chinese web novels -> getting translated -> getting picked up by a publisher -> good fan translations no longer exist on the internet so everyone who was too late has to wait and pay for a book months down the line (when a lot of people have already read it!!)

my secondary goal is to get more english speaking fans of sha po lang to join in on the fun! imo, it's one of the most underrated danmei in terms of plot and character and we need more love for it!

the format is a web-published/public google doc that is automatically updated chapter by chapter. this can be saved as a PDF and then converted into any format you choose. i will make a tumblr post to let you know every time i add a chapter! again, dm me for the link.

i currently have chapters 63-67 finished and posted.

P.S. don’t take my grammar on this post as a sampler for the novel, i like to be informal on social media 🥰

a preview, if you will ~

support me on ko-fi 😘