genderfluidmollymauks

[genderfluidmollymauks]

[genderfluidmollymauks]

I have more to say about this

[genderfluidmollymauks]

endless possibility 🔮

[genderfluidmollymauks]

Some of my most favorite completely pivotal, campaign-changing moments from Critical Role Campaign 2, in no particular order:

-mail fraud

-walking through a literal, not-space-related, massively long tunnel-like worm hole from one continent to another. with no DM prompting to do so. they chose this.

-blueberry cupcakes

-almost killing a weird purple dude with a weird geometric object, letting him go only for him to get killed by the government an instant later, and then being like “well I don’t want the GOVERNMENT to have whatever that is” and stealing it back on a whim. and then just. carrying around a powerful magical relic of unknown significance. for months. just jangling around in their bags and occasionally being whipped out for a once-a-day reroll. this thing started a WAR and then disappeared from under the noses of TWO NATIONS and these random adventuring chucklefucks had it the whole time

-appearing for an audience before a queen of a foreign land wearing BDSM gear and whipping out one of their lost religious relics

-The Wildmother loving her weird pink son enough to give him THREE successful divine interventions

-relentlessly attempting to become best friends with a war criminal even after learning that he started a war

-accidentally stealing a pirate ship. not ~accidentally stealing~, actually on accident stealing a pirate ship with no intentions to do so prior to stealing the pirate ship. and then going “I guess we’re pirates now.”

-Fjord flipping off a sea god and destroying his weird sea sword and then refusing or forgetting to get rid of the weird sea orb inside him and then going out to sea after he pissed off the sea god. multiple times.

-Yasha cannot make a wisdom saving throw to save her life her free will and it changed the course of the story. multiple times.

-negotiating peace between warring nations, and then dipping out to go organize and attend a cult convention

-going to their first ever big city and being like “what do we do now? crime? is crime what we do now? crime?” and committing treason and conspiring to murder a city official and joining a crime syndicate led by a wet dude who later turned out to be Jester’s dad

[genderfluidmollymauks]

i still won't draw him consistently but at least we've branched from the rbf i got excited about matt talking about him in regards to the m9 show and took a break 2 doodle him today :]

[genderfluidmollymauks]

finally some good fucking spells

[genderfluidmollymauks]

Larian studios: "Haha yeah isn't it funny that you can sleep with a druid in bear form? That's so--Look at me, look me in the eyes. there is no such thing as an "evil race". the players handbook is full of shit. personality traits based on race and species are bullshit. Every individual has the capacity for good an evil based on circumstances" *wizards of the coast security tries to drag them off stage*

Larian, clinging to the microphone: "DRAGONBORN HAVE TAILS! TIEFLINGS CAN BE PURPLE! QUEER CHARACTERS HAVE EVERY PLACE IN FANTASY MEDIA! YOU CAN AND SHOULD ROMANCE MIND FLAYERS NO! NO! LOOK AT ME! DRINKING POTIONS IS A BONUS ACTION! DON'T BELIEVE THEIR LIES!"

[genderfluidmollymauks]

inspired by the scariest words my dm has ever said to me and the subsequent coolest (AND SCARIEST) scene of my life

[genderfluidmollymauks]

The Monster Manual but it's blatantly written by the monsters

[genderfluidmollymauks]

Gratuitously evil spells for villains to learn

Mordenkainen's Highly Problematic Political Opinions

Spell that causes someone to experience the entirety of The Big Bang Theory in 6 seconds

Spell that causes a needlessly painful death. It figures out the maximum amount of pain it's ethically permissible to inflict based on context and inflicts twice that much on purpose

Fireball but it expands the area of effect to specifically hit all your teammates.

Mildly Upset Person.

Disintegrate but it bestows any object it hits with full human sapience just before the ray hits.

Locate Object but every time you cast it, it kicks a random guy in the nuts for no good reason.

Hellish Rebuke but it hits anyone who isn't attacking you.

Ray of Deforestation

Transmute Food To Food That's Produced Unsustainably And Using Unethical Labor Practices

Nullify Union

[genderfluidmollymauks]

Yeah, a lot of what bothers me about fantasy settings (especially D&D) is that people try to run wizards like they're academics, but their only exposure to academics is authoritative professors telling them The Truth, so they don't realize that all academics are always 5 seconds away from trying to strangle each other over questions like 'does time really pass or does it just seem to pass'

[genderfluidmollymauks]

So the banner ad didn’t scale down for the mobile browser and it took me multiple minutes to realize that this stock photo of people in business suits was not, in fact, an illustration of what oathbreaker paladins in service to an evil power are supposed to look like

[genderfluidmollymauks]

wasnt there a published third party book for dnd sex. hold on

[genderfluidmollymauks]

whatever I'll post my addendum to it anyway

[genderfluidmollymauks]

you fool. travis characters aren't about cursed swords. they're about the temptation to go apeshit of power when you feel like you're not enough on your own, and learning to let that go and instead trust others to have your back

[genderfluidmollymauks]

shutupshutupshutup

you're right but words still hurt

i feel like an anime character where the insults stab them in the chest a bunch.

[genderfluidmollymauks]

wait ok no offense to the op but i NEED more options on that poll so: