generalburner

[generalburner]

when you ask people what can be done about bullying they usually say "idk" and drop it. i have a lot of idle thoughts about that and no idea how to find out what the real answer is since from what i've searched people just don't seem to know. so when this thought occurred to me, i knew it was wrong, but i figured it would get people talking about what really causes bullying & brainstorming actual solutions. i'm seeing a lot of thoughtful and informed contributions in the comments and reblogs. that's why i submitted this one

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[generalburner]

"so why would ppl thinking there's a chance that a lesbian will have sex w men be homophobic?" reread the section on hermeneutical injustice. sorry but if you're skipping that entire section in your response then you aren't really engaging with my post at all.

and the 62% statistic doesn't hold much weight when all but 1 of the categories it's pulling from are based fringe, often hypothetical exception cases to one's usual sexual behavior.

and how do i know that 100% of all people who have ever heard i was a lesbian and then still thought there was some chance i might like men were doing so because they were homophobic, and thus should never be expected to give someone the benefit of the doubt if they do that to me in the future? because i lived it. you won't be getting a spreadsheet of supporting evidence from my lived experience with each of these people.

and that's the last i'm gonna say on that, because i don't know if you self identify as a lesbian in any sense of the word, and if you don't then i don't have any interest in discussing the word with you.

Just to be very, very clear: this blog supports trans women. This is not asking about genital preference, nor whether you would have sex with a trans person, nor if you're "really" a lesbian based on your answer. Sexuality is complex and there are countless reasons a person might choose to have sex with someone else.

Be polite in the comments/reblogs.

–

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[generalburner]

Hey there, submitter here 👋 Now that it's long over and I can't influence anyone's answers, I wanted to share what the point of this was

(But before that let me concur with the disclaimers incognitopolls added. This poll is indeed trans inclusive, not about genitals, and disinterested in whether anyone is a "real" lesbian.)

So, personally, I'm a lesbian who is both not attracted any man and would never have sex with any man under any circumstances. 100% of all people who have ever heard that I was a lesbian and then still thought there was some chance I might like men have done so because they were homophobic, so I will go on assuming that anyone who does that to me in the future is being homophobic, regardless of the existence of lesbians who do have any interest in men. Seeing as the results here confirm my assumption that the majority of lesbians don't have any interest men or have very little interest in very limited circumstances, I think that's fair of me. I don't think that makes me an exclusionist or whatever.

There absolutely needs to be a word to refer to the concept of a woman who likes women but not men. The best word we have for that is "lesbian", regardless of if that doesn't describe 100% of all lesbians. Why does there need to be a word we can use when we mean a woman who likes women but not men? Well, I can't possibly give you a better explanation of the concept of hermeneutical injustice than cj the x did, so i'm just gonna splice in their explanation from a completely unrelated video here. (I'm linking to a short clip from it so I suggest you watch it if you care enough to be reading this.)

"The philosopher Miranda Fricker coined this concept of Hermeneutical Injustice. This is when you lack the social language to communicate what you are experiencing to other people, therefore isolating you in your experience, and rendering you unable to name it, understand it, share it with others, do something about it. If there's no socially understood name for the thing you're experiencing or if you do not know the name for the thing you're experiencing, you're damned to experience it alone, wondering if it's even real, if you even deserve to feel this way about this thing you can't even articulate."

The point isn't that you're an "invalid lesbian" or whatever if the meaning "woman who likes women but not men" doesn't fully apply to you. I myself am genderfluid. The point is that if someone tells you they're a lesbian, assuming that means they aren't interested in men at all is the right thing to do.

I made this poll because I just wanted to know how many other lesbians felt the way I do.

Just to be very, very clear: this blog supports trans women. This is not asking about genital preference, nor whether you would have sex with a trans person, nor if you're "really" a lesbian based on your answer. Sexuality is complex and there are countless reasons a person might choose to have sex with someone else.

Be polite in the comments/reblogs.

–

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[generalburner]

Source

"The philosopher Miranda Fricker coined this concept of Hermeneutical Injustice. This is when you lack the social language to communicate what you are experiencing to other people, therefore isolating you in your experience, and rendering you unable to name it, understand it, share it with others, do something about it. If there's no socially understood name for the thing you're experiencing or if you do not know the name for the thing you're experiencing, you're damned to experience it alone, wondering if it's even real, if you even deserve to feel this way about this thing you can't even articulate.

"The common phrase often cited for this is the phrase 'sexual harassment,' which was invented as recently as 1975 at Cornell University by Working Women United. They were inspired to do so by the case of Carmita Wood, who quit her job at Cornell University due to constant sexual advances, remarks and touches from her superior. Unfortunately for Wood, she was unable to express the real reason she was forced to leave because there wasn't language for this thing she was experiencing. 'So, you quit because... he likes you? He complimented you? He stood close to you? I'm gonna put Personal Reasons here.' When Working Women United popularized the phrase 'sexual harassment,' they labeled this common experience that women across workplaces have had for a long time, placing the onus on the men who perpetuate this experience and thereby overcoming the hermeneutical injustice that made such oppressive experiences difficult to combat in the past."

[generalburner]

e

[generalburner]

e