generaltyphoonwerewolf - Tumblr blog

[generaltyphoonwerewolf]

Tumblr staff: ten options is enough for polls, right? No one needs more than that on a regular basis. The average tumblr user: Hey guys which element of the periodic table do you think is the most fuckable?

[generaltyphoonwerewolf]

Internet Safety

[generaltyphoonwerewolf]

-Recording begins-

Spider-Man: Hi folks! I’d like to give a PSA to my usual villains, and anyone else with ideas for the next two months.

Spider-Man: *holds up a brick sized lump of metal* See this? It’s titanium!

Spider-Man: *starts flattening it out and shaping it*

Spider-Man: See, we all know that I’m crazy strong, but I never wanna really hurt anybody right? Right. While that hasn’t changed, something very important does right around this time of year.

Spider-Man: *pulls off a glove and pulls a chunk into a long stem with his nails carving lines for added texture*

Spider-Man: See, this is what we like to call exam season. Anybody who knows anything about college can tell you that it drives people up the wall, and I already climb mine when I’m antsy.

Spider-Man: *starts winding the thin sheet around the stem, delicately crimping petals in place*

Spider-Man: I do wanna be clear that this isn’t a threat, okay? I’m still not interested in crossing the line, which brings me to my point.

Spider-Man: *throws the titanium rose at the brick wall behind him, stem first, and embeds it all the way through*

Spider-Man: /That/ was restrained because I could focus enough to have full control. If I’m extremely tired or otherwise distracted, there’s just as much risk of me slipping up as someone operating heavy machinery. I’m probably not going to remember what sleep is for two whole months, so remember!

Spider-Man: *pulls out a brick and snaps it like a cookie*

Peter fucking Parker: Don’t.

[generaltyphoonwerewolf]

Wake up, babe, new religion just dropped

[generaltyphoonwerewolf]

Making someone feel seen, heard and understood is the loudest way to love them.

[generaltyphoonwerewolf]

now that i am a real adult i am starting to realise. media lied to me about the availability of rooftops to go hang out on. every day i wish i could be hanging out on a rooftop somewhere looking cool as fuck

[generaltyphoonwerewolf]

my love language is putting my leg over yours

[generaltyphoonwerewolf]

i hope my absence gives you the peace my love never could

- dee

[generaltyphoonwerewolf]

genuinely when you log off and are only exposed to the lives of those around you as god intended you realize how much shit does not matter. i know this is not a hot take but we were not meant to hear every thought, feeling and opinion of people we will never see face to face. it’s so much easier to pile on people for harmless but annoying opinions when you will never have to spend extended time with them.

[generaltyphoonwerewolf]

I had a dream I was trying to explain to someone from The Future that wearing a swimsuit wasn’t the same thing as being a furry. “It’s crazy how you go to the pool and there are all these people just pretending to be fish,” he said. I had no defense. Society had changed in the future and they had different standards for what made one a furry

[generaltyphoonwerewolf]

"that's my girl" is one of the sweetest and cutest thing that i really want to hear, like yes i am. you're right say it again

[generaltyphoonwerewolf]

unfortunately no eclipse photography can ever outdo the waffle house one from 2017

[generaltyphoonwerewolf]

[generaltyphoonwerewolf]

i can be both; the ‘fast replier’ or ‘never reply’ person

[generaltyphoonwerewolf]

knitting tutorial made by a twenty-something knitting influencer: 18 min long, 12 of those minutes being the intro and a sponsor plug, they show the first few steps of the tutorial at the slowest speed known to man, they show the most important steps at a neck-break speed, they stop every five seconds to talk about what they just did, 40,000 comments filled with questions ranging from insightful to “how do i knit”, filmed with a camera that costs more than a car, the tutorial is incorrect.

knitting tutorial made by a seventy-something grandmother: two min long, filmed 17 years ago, shows you what you want with the skilled patient hands of a beloved deity, made with the world’s shittiest camera, the best video on the fucking internet, four comments and 30 views, you lose the video and never find it again.

[generaltyphoonwerewolf]

love "et cetera" like... theres soooo much more. beyond your wildest imaginations. Not gonna tell u what tho. Move on

[generaltyphoonwerewolf]

“The average person thinks about the Roman Empire every day” factoid is a statistical error. Tumblr users in March -