geniuscloud

[geniuscloud]

The Memories That Bind Us | Lee Minho (SKZ) x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Suggestive Humour.

Lee Minho x Reader

Non Idol AU!

Warnings: Swearing, Verbal Fighting, and a bit of suggestive humour.

Summary: Lee Minho and Y/N were childhood best friends who slowly began to fall in love after high school. However, the history that made them so strong also became their weakness as Y/N began to feel like Minho didn't love her romantically, but rather was just used to her. After a huge fight leading to their break up, they are now forcefully brought together again at the singles table of their University friend's wedding. Add a little rain and an adorable cat named Bubbles, will Minho and Y/N be able to navigate the romantic tension that still lies between them?

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Author Note: Hello! This is my first time writing a Stray Kids fanfiction and my first fanfiction I've written in a LONG time. So it's been quite awhile! I hope you're all able to enjoy and feel free to leave any suggestions or comments. I really love feedback, even if it is criticism. I haven't had a chance to fully write a story since COVID started, so I'm happy to pick up this hobby again. Please note that this isn't beta(?) read or edited. So please ignore them. I'm so sorry. I'm incredibly lazy! Thank you again!

PS. The physical structure of the story got a bit messed up, but oh well...

------------ “Hi! Can I see your invitation please?” a younger blonde girl squeaked from behind the decorated table filled with a seating chart and goodie bags. Y/N fumbled with the envelope before handing it over to the young woman whilst her lips folded into a thin line in an attempt to smile. It was incredibly awkward going to weddings alone now, especially when it was within their large friend group. She knew she was overthinking it, but she couldn’t help but feel like people were gawking at her when she showed up for the ceremony and the reception without a date. She knew deep down that her friends didn’t care if she had a plus one or not, but she couldn’t help but perceive the looks as judgmental because the close knit of friends in attendance all knew about the break up. 

“Okay! So you’ll be sitting at table 13. You should see your name card on the table. It’s important that you don’t switch seats as the meal is pre-fixed and will coincide with what you selected during your RSVP.” Y/N peered down at the seating chart the young blonde was pointing to, her finger barely hiding the “singles table” in microscopic swirly handwriting. She held in a sigh, opting to thank the girl instead and headed into the reception hall. The table was draped in a navy tablecloth and nestled into the far right corner which was closest to the open bar. Six seats sat around the table with only three of them occupied currently. Finding her place card quickly she glanced over at the three people sitting at or standing next by their assigned seat.

“Oh hi Y/N!”

“Hannah? Oh my God, I didn’t even recognize you. You’re so grown up?” Y/N smiled before holding her arms out for a gentle hug.

“Thank you, it’s been awhile since we last saw each other huh?”

“Yeah like… what? Two years or so?”

“I think so. It’s been hectic since I got into university, especially since moving abroad didn’t make traveling back and forth easy,” Hannah chuckled.

“Oh. Are you sitting here by the way?”

“Yeah! I actually have a plus one though, so it’s a little strange that we’re sitting here, but I guess they just didn’t want to separate a lot of the families since a couple people brought their kids. But anyways… We’ve gotta head out for a bit. We’ll catch up later, yeah?” Hannah grabbed the hand of the tall guy who was leaning against the chair, giving one last small wave and mouthing a “see ya” before dashing off towards the exit. 

Y/N eyes fell onto the man sitting beside her spot. She could recognize his side profile instantly considering she spent the last three years prior sleeping next to it. Minho’s black hair laid softly on his head in slight curls and barely covered his eyes. He looked over his shoulder and met her gaze. She couldn’t help but notice the slight padding on his shoulders of his black suit jacket made him look even broader than before. 

“Hey,” he gently greeted.

“Hi…”

She took a seat next to him and placed her elbows on the table, leaning forward and looking around the hall for faces she knew. Hoping that someone would come to her rescue after seeing the situation that was quickly unfolding. 

“You look beautiful in that dress,” Minho uttered again. He leaned forward and put his head into her sightline, trying to draw her attention to him. 

“Thanks. Um- you look good too.” 

He couldn’t help but chuckle to himself as she made it so blatantly obvious she was looking for someone to get her out of the situation. “You don’t need to avoid me.”

“What? I’m not avoiding-”

He raised an eyebrow at her. The problem with being best friends and then turning into romantic partners is that they can read you like a book. Minho knew every little quirk and habit she has. Y/N sunk down into her chair a little embarrassed. “Yeah you’re right. I’m being silly… Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I was just hoping you’d at least be willing to talk as friends since it’s been almost seven months since we last saw each other.” 

Another blow to her ego. Minho was always so calm and collected even in the most tense of times. It didn’t seem like it had been that long, but it truly had been seven months since Minho packed his stuff and moved out. It felt weird knowing the last time they spoke to each other it was when he handed her the key to their shared house. His voice still echoed in her mind when he mumbled with defeat, “I hope you find whatever you’re looking for.” 

“You’re right. We were friends for so long. I can’t see why we can’t at least be civil for the sake of our friends. The last thing I want is our drama ruining their wedding.” Y/N forced herself to relax before cracking a more genuine smile. “So, are you actually here alone or did they just set you and your plus one here like they did with Hannah?”

Minho chuckled, “No, I'm actually here alone as well. There’s another guy here too who’s sitting across from us, but he’s quite a bit older than us. I think he’s a distant relative of the bride or something. So unfortunately you’re stuck with me if you’re looking for a dance.” 

“Hey, I don’t discriminate against my dance partners! Maybe I want to dance with an older man?” she playfully replied.

“Darling, he’s got a cane and a hip replacement. I don’t think he’ll be looking for a dance tonight.” Minho’s smile widened before taking a sip of his wine. She almost didn’t catch the slip of the pet name that fell from his lips, but it made her heart do a flip in her chest. How easily he could pull her guard down with a single smile made her irritated but a bigger part of her just missed him. She tried to stuff down that feeling and think rationally. Maybe we really can be friends again? She thought to herself. 

“Yeah whatever… Just focus on the dinner. The plates are coming out soon.”

The night continued on without an issue. Luckily Minho wasn’t interested in pushing any boundaries and behaved like he used to. His introverted behaviour was sometimes a blessing in moments like these because while he was playful, he also was a little more quiet and not willing to try to start something that could potentially cause a scene. He was level headed when it mattered most and that was something she admired, but was also a reason it felt like sometimes he just didn’t care or wasn’t interested. However, the two of them continued to chat throughout the dinner. Catching each other up with their lives and making a few jokes here and there. Nobody could deny that their chemistry still existed even if they would just pass it off as friendly.

Y/N watched as the newly married couple started their first dance and then slowly more people began to join them on the floor as the songs continued to change and the beats began to liven up the night. She looked out across the dance floor longingly, wondering why none of their university friends were making the effort to chat or invite her to dance with the group. Every time one of them would look towards the table, they’d see Minho behind her and just give some casual pleasantries before continuing to have fun with the rest of the party. Some friends they are… 

“Y/N, did you want to dance?” Minho’s voice peaked up from behind her as he extended his hand. 

“Nah it’s okay. I don’t want to be a burden.”

“I’m offering. I can see the way you keep staring at everyone dancing and how badly you want to be up there.”

She held her clutch a little tighter while debating for a split second if she should accept the invitation. “I guess maybe a dance or two wouldn’t hurt.” Y/N placed her hand in his before rising to her feet. He tugged on her hand a little harder, pulling her over towards the floor in a quick dash, settling right in the middle of the crowd. A few of their friends glanced over at them with a smile as Minho gave one last gentle tug on her waist and pulled her in closer. 

“Is this okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine… and thank you.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You know how much I love dancing after all. This was for my own benefit” he smirked sarcastically.

“Oh really? And what benefit is that?”

“I get to dance with the most beautiful woman at this wedding and everyone here gets to look at me and think how lucky is he?” 

Y/N heart flipped in her chest for the second time that night. “Minho…”

“Let’s just dance. Okay?”

His right hand sat on her waist while the other continued to hold her hand as they stepped in time with the beat. There was some comfortable silence that hung in the air as they continued to look into each other's eyes. While they weren’t verbally conversing, his softening eyes said more than words could. He couldn’t look away, even when Y/N would shyly avert her eyes to an object or person nearby, he kept focusing on the face in front of him. 

I love you Y/N… he thought to himself. Wishing he could say it to her right then and there, but he knew the consequences of his actions could risk this moment he had with her. 

The truth was Minho never really knew how to express his feelings. He always knew his one fatal flaw was that he never was good with his emotions or expressing the intimate parts of himself. In the three years of dating he could count the amount of times he said “I love you” on one hand. Physical affection and expressing his true feelings were not easy for him and he thought Y/N understood that. Unfortunately, it appeared he was wrong. He already pushed himself a lot when it came to physical affection in their relationship. Holding hands, cuddling, kissing, etc. didn’t come naturally to him. It’s not like he didn’t enjoy it, but it was difficult for him to initiate it. It didn’t mean he loved her any less or that he wasn’t attracted to her. It just wasn’t instinctual to him. Instead he has to actively remind himself to try to be more affectionate, especially when his partner thrived so much on physical touch. His love language was more towards quality time or acts of service. He always thought to grab her little snacks while he was out, even if he knew they were going to be apart for most of the day, or would make extra time in the mornings to make sure they ate a meal together. It was little things like that which he tried his best to show his love towards her, but perhaps it just wasn’t enough.

Now in this moment he knew he didn’t want this opportunity to pass by. He needed to make some type of move to get Y/N back in his life again. Even if they were just going to remain as friends, he needed to find a way to get her to open back up to him and create that line of communication. If that meant being by her side as she moves on with her life, so be it, but he couldn’t lose the most important person in his life. Especially since it ended over some silly miscommunication and conflict in personality types. 

“Y/N can we talk?”

“Right now?” she asked, a little puzzled.

“I mean… not right now, but maybe soon. I want to apologize for what happened between us and I wanted to see if there was any chance that you’d be willing to even consider going back to being friends.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I should have been more understanding and stopped trying to force some kind of fairy tale expectations on us. It was naive of me.” This time her smile wasn’t genuine. There was pain behind her eyes but she wasn’t going to let it slip. Her eyes glanced down to their feet so he couldn’t read her face. She had already been humiliated enough today and she didn’t need Minho to see how much he still had an effect on her. 

“I do need to apologize though. I didn’t realize how much I was letting you down and I just… I miss you.” Minho tried his best to convey his thoughts even if they were a little nerve wracking to say out loud. He could feel her body tense in his hands as he continued to grip her waist through the rest of the dance. 

“I miss you too,” Y/N mumbled just barely above a whisper. “Um- maybe we should have that talk. Maybe somewhere a little more private? I think we’re starting to get some looks.” 

The two of them walked in silence over to the outdoor patio connected to the large venue. It had a small flower garden and a couple stone benches, but at least it was secluded from the rest of the wedding guests. The gentle breeze was just enough to send a chill down Y/N spine as her bare arms were nipped by the cold. A little shiver erupted in response. It was just enough for Minho to notice and swifty pull his suit jacket off before draping it over her exposed skin. The residual heat and cologne from his jacket engulfed her like a familiar hug. 

“Oh. It’s okay, I don’t want you to be cold either.”

“It’s fine. I’m warm anyways,” he shrugged. He sat down beside her on the stone bench just barely giving space between the two of them. “Am I being a little too much?”

“No. No, it's fine. It just feels kinda strange. You know? It still feels like us but there’s this weird barrier in-between that never was there before.” 

“Yeah I kinda get what you mean,” his voice trailed off. “ Um- I don’t want to force you to talk about things, but I just wanted to ask, are you doing okay?” 

“In what way?”

“Like… are you eating well? Are you still living at the house? Is everything okay at work?”

She huffed out a little chuckle at his concern. “I’m doing fine and work is… well… work. But yeah, I am still at the house. My parents just recently moved the property into my name so it’s officially mine now. Not extremely thrilled that I’m paying a mortgage now, but I can’t complain. I literally own a house in this economy.” 

“Oh. Yeah. I’m happy for you” he said with zero attempts to sound convincing.

“Are you okay?” Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she watched Minho begin to emotionally battle with himself. 

“Can I just talk to you for a moment as my friend? Pretend like none of this happened for like five minutes and just go back to when we were best friends. I really need you for a bit.” 

“Yeah. Go for it.” She could tell by Minho’s frustrated expression that something was eating away at him and maybe just slipping back into the way they used to be could at least open a line of communication. 

“I really fucked up. A couple months ago I lost someone who was really special to me and it’s been bothering me ever since. I really let her down and made them feel like I didn’t care about our relationship. It’s just hard for me to be that mushy type of person. However, the longer I’ve been alone I realized now that I was just letting her bend over backwards to adapt to me. I let her feel insecure and in the moment she needed reinforcement the most, I left her. Now I'm worried that I’ve lost the most important person in my life and I don’t know what to do. I know an apology isn’t going to fix it, but I just at least want her back in my life. I know I don’t deserve forgiveness and I don’t expect her to immediately say everything is fine. I just want to at least be in each other's life again.” 

Y/N immediately caught onto what Minho was trying to do. It was easier for him to explain how he was feeling and to coax her into expressing what she truly thought if he talked about their situation like she was a third-party, even if it was blatantly obvious it was about them. She hunched over and placed her elbows on her lap thinking on how to respond.

“Do you still care about her?” 

“Without a doubt.”

“What do you remember from that day?”

________________________________________________

“Oh we got mail! Looks like a wedding invite” Y/N said flashing a small white invitation towards Minho who was busy washing the dishes from their late night dinner.

“I’m assuming Nayoung and Ben?” Minho peaked over his shoulder to glance over at his girlfriend who was clutching onto the invite and reading it carefully before placing it down on the counter-top. 

“Yeah it is. I think that’s our only friends that are currently engaged, right?” She briefly paused before looking at his arms and alerting him, “Oh Minho, your sleeves are getting in the water.” Y/N reached around him, quickly tugging his hoodie sleeves up his arms before settling into a gentle back hug. 

“You okay?” 

Y/N just hummed in response, squeezing him a little tighter and nestling her face into his back. 

“I can’t really do the dishes like this…” he trailed off. 

“Boo. You’re no fun,” a little pout formed on her face before dropping her arms. She took a step back and hopped onto the counter behind him, opting to fiddle with the invite instead. “Hey Minho. Would you ever want to do this kinda thing?”

“What do you mean?” he was still focused on the dishes in front of him and not bothering to look back at what she was gesturing to. 

“Would you want to get married?”

“I can’t… I’m doing the dishes.” A smirk grew on his face which was barely visible in the reflection of the glazed white tiles. His voice was still monotone but laced with sarcasm. A groan escaped Y/N’s lips as she kicked off the counter.

“Minho. I’m being serious for once. I’m a little jealous that all of our friends are either engaged, married or very close to becoming engaged; meanwhile we haven’t even talked about our future basically since we started dating.” 

Minho sighed slightly before slipping off the rubber gloves and placing them down beside the sink. Honestly, he was really comfortable with the way things were right now and didn’t see a need to progress just because all their couple friends were. He always knew he wanted to marry Y/N eventually, but he wanted to establish a little more security in their careers and life before “rushing” into marriage and a family. 

“We’ve only been dating for three years. Nayoung and Ben have been together since high school.”

“Yeah, but we’ve been friends since we were ten?! Minho, we've known each other for more than half our lives? Does that not count a bit?”

“Well…” he paused to think about the logistics of a wedding, “we just graduated University recently and with the student loans we’re repaying, plus the new job offer you just got. I don’t think a wedding is really possible for us right now.”

“Oh my God. That’s not what I mean?! I’m literally asking if you even want to marry me? Because it doesn’t seem like it sometimes.” 

Minho was absolutely taken back by her comment. How could she think he doesn’t love her enough to want to get married? They’re basically glued to the hip twenty-four-seven. His voice caught in his throat whilst his eyebrows furrowed, “What?”

“I mean- look at Nayoung and Ben. They’re so in love with each other and we’re nothing like that anymore! Literally even a few minutes ago I tried to give you affection and you basically told me to get off.”

“I was trying to do dishes!”

“It’s not about the fucking dishes! Minho, you’ve never even tried to be physically affectionate with me. I tried to not let it bother me because I know it’s not really your go-to, but do you not understand how much it hurts when you shrug me off? Honestly, sometimes I feel like we’re still just best friends who sometimes sleep together and that’s not even consistent anymore. Are you just not attracted to me? Do you not love me?” 

“Hey- wait. Y/N that’s not fair. You know I love you.”

She laughed bitterly, “Do I? Does it sound like I know you love me? Because honestly it feels like you’re just used to me.” 

“Don’t say that. That’s not true.” Minho’s arms reached out towards her, his body not really sure what to do but wanting to comfort her somehow. The tears beginning to form in her eyes made his heart sink into his chest. He didn’t want to be the reason she was crying, but his head couldn’t wrap around the situation fast enough to think on what to do or how to fix it. His arms went to wrap around her frame but her palms cut him off, gently placing them on his chest.

“I’m sorry, but please don’t touch me. I don’t want a pity hug right now.”

“Then I don’t understand what the hell you want from me?”

“Oh my God. We’re supposed to be a couple. I shouldn’t have to beg for love!”

“Well i’m sorry, but I can’t just be affectionate on command! I thought you of all people would understand?! I’m sorry that it’s not in my nature to just hold your hand, or cuddle, or kiss you, but I'm trying my best! I always think about what I could do to make you happy. Do you not realize I wake up 2 hours earlier than I need to in order to have breakfast with you every day? I don’t enjoy waking up early, but I do it because I want to be with you!” He shouted back while gripping the counter top tightly. 

“I know!!” Y/N bursted out throwing her hands into the air in front of her. She took a deep breath and sighed, “I know… I’m sorry. God, look at us. What the hell happened to us?” 

Minho’s head hung low, “I don’t know.”

“We’re falling apart.”

Minho’s eyes snapped up to her face in disbelief. She couldn’t even manage to look him in the eyes but rather stayed focused on his left arm that guarded her. Holding her pressed to the counter with no escape.

“You don’t mean that…”

Her lips folded into each other in an attempt to hold back the deep frown that was fighting against her. “Maybe we’re just not meant to be a couple. We work great as friends, but I can’t shake this feeling like I’ll never be enough for you to actually love me the way I need. You know how bad it is that my biggest insecurity is that you’ll never really see me as a woman.”

“But that’s not true! Why are you putting words in my mouth? Honestly, it feels like you’re just giving up on us? I know I haven’t been the best partner and I’m sorry that I’ve made you question my love for you, but it’s just the way I am.”

“And yet I’m telling you how your lack of affection is making me feel, but “it’s just the way you are” so you get a pass?” 

“Y/N-” 

“Stop. Minho. This is stupid… I just- fuck. I’m gonna call my sister and ask if I can stay with her for a few days.”

“Forget it. You don’t even let me talk and you’re not even trying to listen to me when I'm telling you it’s not true. You’ve obviously made up your mind about us,” Minho uncaged her body from the countertop and stomped off towards the bedroom to grab his bag. Y/N’s breath became rigid in her throat. She’s never seen Minho so genuinely angry and hurt in his life. His eyes were pooled with pain even if tears didn’t swell in his ducts. He wasn’t much of a cryer, but his glossy dark eyes did little to hide his feelings. 

“Wait but what about Nayoung and Ben’s wedding?” she called after him, trying to come up with an excuse now that the reality of her own actions came tumbling after her. She grasped onto the bedroom door knob attempting to twist it open but instead felt the resistance of the lock.

“I don’t give a flying fuck about their wedding. Just tell them the truth.” She pounded on the door still twisting the knob desperately before it flung open in her face again. Instead Minho towered over her with a backpack slung over his shoulder and a new hoodie on, “tell them we broke up.” 

“Wait Minho I didn’t-” she began to sob, reaching out for his arm as he stepped around her heading for the front door to slip on a pair of shoes. He went to reach for the door but at the last moment spun around to face her. 

“And for what it’s worth… You were my everything. Not even for a second did I ever doubt you were the one I was meant to be with. Ever since we were kids I've always wanted to marry you, but how can we be together when you’ve already given up?” 

_______________________________________________

Minho’s eyes had dampened during his recollection of the night they broke up. Two large tears had swollen up and fell onto the concrete beneath him suddenly pouring out into beautiful pearls as they refracted the sunset. Y/N couldn’t help but feel the urge to wrap him into a hug but wasn’t sure if that was the best idea. She bit her lip trying to hold back the tears that she thought she had already cried out long ago.

“I’m sorry. For everything,” his voice wavered as if he was fighting back more tears. Absent-mindedly, she placed her palm on his back as he continued to hunch over. She wasn’t used to seeing him cry, but every part of her ached at seeing him broken like this. She really thought he would have been over it by now, thinking deep down he didn’t really care, but seeing him like this made the realization stronger. He did care. He cared about her. He cared about their relationship. Their friendship. 

“You don’t need to apologize. We both made huge mistakes. I shouldn’t have forced you to try to be someone you’re not while in relationships. I think I let my insecurities get the best of me and I always would compare our relationship to our friends. It’s not healthy and it’s not us”

“I do owe you an apology though. I was being a sucky partner. Even when you told me how you felt, I didn’t even try to help relieve your doubts. We should have had a real talk,” Minho admitted. He held out his hand hoping for Y/N to take it. Her eyes panned down, not really sure if holding his hand would be the most appropriate action, but her heart won in the end. She lightly placed her hand into his extended palm. Her movements were weary as if the contact would scorch her but the desire for contact was stronger than her willpower. His fingers immediately laced hers before resting them on his thigh.

“Yeah… I really should have let you talk. I’m sorry too.”

A smile appeared on his face when he looked over to her finally,  huffing out a small laugh at the awkwardness of their situation.

“We really are something strange. Somehow we’re both comfortable and extremely uncomfortable at the same time.” 

“Tell me about it…” her voice wandered off. A smile also began to creep on her face but she tried her best to hide it. As much as she wanted to let her guard down, their situation was still awkward and a lot more needed to be discussed before they could just let things go. Too many words still hung in the air, the same ones that clawed at her heart and made her insecurities ring in her head months after the breakup. Even if he apologized and she recognized that he cared for her, it didn’t alleviate the fear that she wasn’t good enough for him or waved off their years of awkward pre-pubescent friendship that ruined the romantic tension between them. 

“I know this might be a little inappropriate but, do you think I could get your number again? If you’re comfortable with that. I’d really like to catch up over coffee or something. If you’d be okay trying to be friends again?”

She gripped her arm through Minho’s jacket while trying to think what the possible consequences of these actions could be. Would accepting this invitation to be friends possibly cause some harm to the walls she built up, trying to get Minho out of her head. She spent so long trying to distance herself in order to make her happy, but was she really that happy to begin with? It frightened her to be friends with him again. What if she has to witness him fall in love with someone else? What if he decides he doesn’t need her around anymore and leaves for a second time? She didn’t know if she could take more heartache from the boy who essentially turned her into an emotionless zombie for months on end. However, one little “please” from his mouth caused her to fold like a lawn chair. 

Stupid men, she mentally cursed to herself.

“I guess… I mean, we did have a really long friendship. It’d be stupid to let all those years go to waste,” she mumbled. She wasn’t sure if she was trying to reason with Minho or herself through the delivery of her sentence. 

“Thank you. I promise I won’t make things awkward. If I do, just tell me okay? You can be as mean as you’d like. I’ll even let you hit me if that’ll make you feel better,” he was joking but extended his face forward awaiting a playful slap.

“I wouldn’t hit you!” she jokingly sneered while giving him a slight smack on the arm.

“You literally just did!” Minho bursted out laughing and held his shoulder towards her to show off the invisible mark she had just laid upon him. 

“Well you deserve it.”

“I guess I can’t argue with that… but thank you… for at least giving our friendship a chance. It’s really mature of you.” 

She let out a sheepish smile instead of letting another playful insult slip from her lips. Y/N had been craving these moments the most between them. This familiarity of teasing and joy was something she longed for the most while he wasn’t in her life. It was weird not having him around, but it was weirder coming back to it almost instantly. It’s like nothing ever changed or had happened. It was just… them. 

“Anyways. We should probably get back inside. People might genuinely start noticing we’re gone and the last thing we need is some weird rumour starting around our friend group again.” 

He gestured his hand towards her in order to help her to her feet. Minho felt a shiver down his spine from the breeze. He had been freezing his butt off the entire time they had been sitting outside, but seeing her grip onto his suit jacket sleeves, engulfed in his scent. He could care less about the chill that pecked at his skin.

_______________________________________________

To say Minho was happy about rekindling their friendship would be an understatement. His phone was basically glued to his hands, if not, whatever flat surface was in front of him. He was never the type to keep his ringer on. Often opting to keep his phone on silent or ‘do not disturb’ but ever since Y/N reopened that line of communication, it was like every sense of his personality got flipped. His ears would perk up at the little ding of his phone, immediately reaching for it in hopes that she had texted him. Once even leading to an unfortunate incident where his phone decided to take a bath with him. Minho had spent the following night with his phone buried in a mountain of rice hoping the water would drain.

That was the night he realized maybe he was getting a bit too intense. He was acting like a lovesick fool who’s phone became an extension of his body, and it wasn’t healthy, let alone his immediate change in personality could risk scaring Y/N off. They had agreed to be friends again. Not lovers or anything more. So he knew he needed to take a step back and ground himself. 

The few weeks after the wedding was filled with hundreds of texts and voice memos between the two. Gradually growing from “how was your day?” into late night 13 minute long voice memos of ranting about a tv show or movie the two of them were watching independently. Y/N’s voice messages were always long and rambled. Often a mishmash of various topics as she jumped from one thing to the others, sometimes not even finishing the point of her story. Unbeknownst to her, Minho absolutely adored her frustrated rambles about life or the weird TikTok she saw. He absolutely ate it up, saving practically every coffee-induced word fumble that she made through voice message at every hour of the day and night. 

It helped him feel closer to her again. The fact that she thought about him enough to even send the message to him made his heart swell. Especially when hearing his name fall from her lips as she sighed about her cat Bubbles knocking over her garbage can for the 3rd time that night.

“Minho I swear to God you helped me pick out the most insane cat in that shelter. This little monster is addicted to my trash can- BUBBLES!!! STOP EATING PAPER!!!” Her voice screamed through the phone. He was laying on the couch while relaying some of the voice messages from the night before. The downpour of rain meant he was going to tuck himself away in his apartment for the night and park his body on the couch until bedtime. His half eaten dinner was long forgotten on the counter as he absorbed himself in the silly voice messages she had sent. He could imagine Bubbles, a tiny black cat with the craziest bulging green eyes, laying beside the office garbage can and happily munching on paper. In the few months Minho lived with Bubbles as a kitten, that cat got into absolutely everything and anything, but he got along well with Soonie, Doongie and Dori. Adopting Bubbles was actually Minho’s idea, he thought having a cat in their shared home would be like having a little family, especially since he missed having his cats around him. However, his three cats didn’t relocate well so they stayed behind with his parents. Bubbles was basically a newborn kitten when they adopted him, meaning he was just over a year old at this point, so Minho hadn’t been in his life for too long and the kitten was way too attached to Y/N for Minho to take him after their breakup. 

The pause of the voice memo followed by the buzz from his phone made him immediately sit up from the couch. ‘Y/N’ popped up as a notification as his phone rang loudly through the apartment. This was weird. They may have been talking again, but she was never the one to call unless it was an emergency. Even if she wanted to chat one on one it was always over video call. He paused for a second. Was it an accident? Maybe just a butt dial? He shook his thoughts off and swiped the notification to answer.

“H-Hello?” 

The line was quiet for a moment before static and sobs started to break out over the phone. He could hardly hear her voice through the muffled sobs.

“Y/N are you okay? I can’t hear you?” The poor reception made it impossible to hear her voice, cutting in and out mixed with her tears. His feet dropped to the floor and sprung off the couch the moment he realized something was wrong. His instincts began running through his body as he looked around his apartment for his car keys.

“Baby where are you?” he called out one last time. Her robotic-sounding pixelated voice was completely inaudible before the phone line went dead. The three beeps from the ended call replaced the sound of poor reception and his mind began to race a mile a minute. He tried to call again while mumbling to himself as his body turned the search into rampaging through his apartment. Her phone immediately went to voicemail.

“Fuck it!” he cursed while slinging on his rain jacket and dashing out the door. If he ran fast enough, he could be there in less than 10 minutes. His apartment wasn’t too far from the house they originally shared. He opted to stay in a nearby neighbourhood since he loved the area so much and it was close to the place he grew up, but deep down he didn’t want to move too far from Y/N either.

The rain was beating against his face with every step he took. His running shoes and pants were absolutely soaked through within minutes, feeling the soles squish water into his socks like sponges. The air was cool on his cheeks and it filled his chest with the scent of rain. Under the shelter of his balcony, this scene would have been something to desire, but running through this rainstorm was a whole different scenario. The shortness of breath finally caught up to him when he slowed down on the stairs to the front door. His fists rapped against the white door with heavy strikes as he yelled out her name.

“Y/N! WHERE ARE YOU?!” 

There was no answer, not that he had given her much time to open the door regardless, but in a panic he was not willing to wait. Minho began frantically checking the side windows and back door, hoping that her forgetful habits would work in his favour. Luckily he noticed the office window was cracked open, the hinge was lazily flipped to the lock position, but since the window wasn’t completely closed properly it slid open with ease. He would have to scold her later once he knew she was safe. 

Quickly getting to his feet in the office he looked around the room. It was quiet, well kept, and only a single light illuminated the hallway. It seemed like nobody was home. Meaning he may or may not have just actually broken into her house… hopefully she won’t be mad. Especially since he had just tracked water all over her carpet on top of everything. Within a moment Minho’s ears perked up to hear the front door open and slam followed by the sound of muffled sobs. 

“Y/N?” he called out. Hoping his voice would be frightening than his body in front of her. It was quiet for a second before she croaked out.

“Minho? What are you doing in my house?” 

He rounded the corner into the living room seeing her equally soaked figure standing in the doorway. Her pajamas were completely drenched through. The black tee shirt and teddy bear pants were completely clung to her body, not leaving much of her figure to the imagination. Her wet hair clung to her face and shoulders in wild twists which slightly hid the running makeup and sore red eyes. It was obvious she had been crying for quite some time. 

He couldn’t help himself anymore. His arms extended out in front of him before he could even form a sentence to answer his question. Instead he pulled her into a tight hug, pressing her body into him and nestling his face into her neck.

Their wet clothing clung together as he held her. Her arms were frozen at her sides as she felt his hands find their place on her spine. She was simultaneously freezing and too hot as her skin felt like it was on fire from his hands. She found her hands searching for his face, pulling him away from her neck and cupping his cheeks.

“Are you okay?” he finally asked while searching her eyes.

“I-I’m okay… It’s Bubbles.. I can’t find him,” more tears started to form in her eyes, “I went to run the trash out to the bin and he took off. I’ve been looking for him everywhere. I didn’t know who else to call because you know Bubbles doesn’t like strangers and I-”

Minho cut her off with a small chuckle. He gave her waist a small squeeze before letting go. He was so relieved to know that she was okay. “Shh shh. It’s okay. We’ll find him.”

Minho turned on his feet towards the bathroom. He grabbed a large plush blue towel off the rack and carefully draped it around Y/N’s head and torso, giving her a slight little rub on her head as he tried to begin drying her off. His eyes were soft and glossy as he peered down towards her. There was a certain kindness that existed only in the way he looked at her, like she was everything he needed all at once. It was a look that made you feel like home when he would stare back at you. 

“Please go take a shower and warm up. I’ll be right back,” he whispered.

“Where are you going?” 

“I’ll go find Bubbles. There’s no need for both of us to get sick from this rain.” Minho picked up the discarded umbrella that Y/N had been using before stepping back out into the storm and closing the door behind him. 

Y/N’s chest started to feel warm, a slight whirring of love sickness in her stomach as she clutched onto the towel. “He cares about me,” she thought. 

She mentally cursed herself for a moment because the bare minimum and such a small act of kindness felt like she was falling in love with Minho all over again. She felt like a fool but a bigger part of herself wanted to bask in this feeling that she missed so much. She missed Minho like crazy and the last few weeks being in contact with each other was a constant reminder of how important he was to her. She just hoped that he felt the same way. 

After collecting her thoughts she made her way into the bathroom and into the shower. He was right to suggest this. Her body was finally warming up and she was able to wash away the salty tears that burned her skin. It was a short shower since she didn’t know when Minho would come back and a pit of worry began to settle in her stomach. He was out there in the pouring rain and it was starting to get late. She quickly dressed herself into a new pair of pajamas and wrapped herself up in a robe to keep her warm. As soon as Minho got back, she’d wrap him up in a towel and send him into the shower as well. Y/N went through some of the old boxes of his stuff, hoping to find some of his clothes he had left behind. At minimum some clean underwear and a shirt to cover himself while she washed his wet clothes. There was a whole wave of emotions that hit her as she dug through his stuff. She remembered how hard it was for her to pack it up to begin with and now she was elbows deep in the u-haul box digging through his abandoned belongings. Luckily she found a maroon cotton tee and some shorts buried towards the bottom. They were slightly wrinkled but they were clean and warm, which was really the only thing that mattered. 

A small string of meowing cut her away from her hyperfixation of the box of Minho’s things. She could hear the chilled sniffles from Minho as he stood in the doorway holding Bubbles to his chest. The poor baby was shaking in his arms, his green eyes were just as buggy as ever but didn’t seem to be harmed aside from a bit of irritation. 

“Oh my God you found him!” she cried-- scooping the cat into a towel and placing him in between the collar of her robe. 

“He was hiding between the neighbours shed and their garage. So at least he didn’t get far. It was just difficult to get him out of there,” Minho explained. Y/N threw her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug, but was careful not to squish Bubbles between the two of them.

“Woah woah- I’m wet. Don’t make yourself cold when you just finally dried off.” 

She grabbed one of the other towels she had prepared and wrapped him in it, similarly to the way he had done it for her not even thirty minutes prior. “Now it’s your turn to shower. Please. I put some of your clothes in the bathroom. Just leave your wet ones on the side of the tub and I'll put them to wash and dry as soon as you’re done.” 

Minho didn’t hesitate much, knowing how good a shower would be right now, especially since he didn’t want to have an excuse to leave just yet. While he warmed up Y/N planted herself on the couch and began to carefully blow dry Bubbles. She just hoped that he hadn’t been outside long enough to get sick. His immune system was already poor enough, so an illness no matter how mild, paired with his sight issues and his weak immune system… it was too much for Y/N to handle on her own. 

It wasn’t long before Minho came back out into the living room in his dry clothes. His hair was still damp and clinging to his neck so Y/N called him over. She pulled him down to the floor in front of her on the couch, having his back nestle between her knees while she began drying his hair with another towel. Bubbles laid peacefully, purring on the couch beside her and wrapped in a fuzzy blanket. Meanwhile, Y/N ran her finger through Minho’s almost dried hair, trying to detangle the knots from his head. The moment was silent and intimate. Nobody dared to speak and ruin the comfortable silence between them as she continued to fuss with his hair. At some point he began to lean to one side, pressing his cheek to the inside of her knee and resting his head on her. 

“Are you okay?” she asked.

He simply hummed in response and closed his eyes. Her skin was soft and supple. He remembers how it felt when their legs would tangle while cuddling on their shared bed. She had a habit of wrapping her legs with his. The squish of her thighs were addicting to him when he would kneed them absentmindedly while watching a movie. He just missed her and the silly little habits the two of them shared. 

Her heart was racing at the press of his cheek against her. It was weirdly intimate but wholesome at the exact same time. She tried to hide the buzzing in her chest by acting like this was normal to her still, regardless if it had been months since she had any type of physical contact from him like this. She had to force herself to remain calm since she had so many questions and concerns in her head. Right now the surprise contact and charged atmosphere were the least of her concerns.

“I’m sorry I called you…”

“Don’t even worry. I’m glad you called me.”

“I just feel bad because you ran through the rain all because of some miscommunication and poor reception. Especially since you might catch a cold because of me.”

“Miscommunication seems to be our thing, huh?” he playfully joked, “and for the record I’d get sick for you a hundred times over if I thought I was helping you. I’m here whenever you need me.” 

A small smile crept onto her face at his words. She finally pulled the towel off his head to reveal his dried fluffy hair and placed it on the floor beside him. “Well Bubbles certainly appreciates your white knight behaviour.”

“What can I say? I have to save our son from the weather.”

Our son… 

“Also- my behaviour might not necessarily be fueled by the ‘knight in shining armour’ you were thinking. I have my own ulterior motives as to why I’m here” he said with a smirk, now turning back to look at her. He got to his knees, folding his arms over her lap and looking up at her with a devilish smile. His eyes were wide and glossy, a hint of devilish thoughts behind his pupils. It was that type of look you didn’t know to interpret as mischievous in a wholesome way or if he was going to commit arson. With Minho… honestly it was a 50/50. 

“Oh?”

“I thought you were in trouble. I wanted to save you so your heart would swoon.”

The amount of idiocy that left her mouth in response could make a spoon look sharp, “like in a friend way?”

His mouth immediately cracked open with furrowed brows. He couldn’t believe that she would say something so stupid. “In a friend way?? What friends do you have that are trying to make your heart swoon?”

“Uh- Changbin? I don’t know! You broke up with me! I don’t want to misinterpret this!?” she shouted back at him. A scowl formed on her face as she crossed her arms and laid back on the couch. He couldn’t help but burst out into laughter and grab her arms. He attempted to uncross them with his hands and pulled her forward again.

“No. Not in a friendly way, you idiot. I’m trying to win you back.”

“Well calling me an idiot isn’t the way to start” she mumbled to herself, letting her arms be controlled by his hands. 

“Fair enough. Let me try again. What I'm trying to say is I’m sorry for making you have doubts about my intentions in our relationship and for making you question my love for you. I know I can be a bit of a pain in the ass, sarcastic, and not very touchy-feely, but I should’ve listened to you when you said you were feeling like you had to beg for my love. The truth is, I don’t know where I would be without you and these last few months have been absolute hell. I feel like a huge part of me is missing without you. I guess what I’m trying to say is I love you and would you take me back?” Minho’s hands gripped onto hers, still kneeling on the ground in front of her. It honestly felt more like he was begging because of the awkward position.

“I don’t- um. I feel like an idiot if I say yes so quickly,” she stumbled out.

“I will let you touch me.”

Her face immediately went bright red; dropping his hands from hers and placing them over her mouth. 

“I meant cuddling!” he burst out laughing, “What are you? A pervert?” 

“Why would you say it like that?!” 

Minho doubled over and wiped the joyful tears out of his eyes, barely able to catch his breath. “God, you haven’t changed much.”

“You know what. Fuck you! No!” she laughed back at him. She began shoving his torso away with her foot as he laid across the ground in front of the couch. After a few minutes of laughter Minho finally was able to collect himself and bring himself onto the couch beside Y/N and Bubbles. 

“I am serious though. I know we need to have a long talk, but would you be open to a discussion about us? I really want you back in my life. I want to be us again, but more reliant on each other and willing to communicate.” 

She pursed her lips together while giving it a minuscule thought, “Well… I’m sure Bubbles would like to not be a child of divorce anymore.”

“Ah so you’re willing to give us a chance for the baby?”

“Hmm. I guess so” she teased. 

“You know what. I’ll take it. I don’t even want to argue if that means getting to come home to you again.”

“We really do need to talk about it though. We need to discuss boundaries and expectations so then something like this doesn’t happen again.” 

Minho just smiled in response, pulling her in by her waist and planting a big kiss on her cheek. “You know you haven’t really said you love me either…”

She just rolled her eyes playfully before planting a single kiss on his lips, “I love you, you big idiot.”

“I love you even more.”

[geniuscloud]

Update: i’ve had like 100+ bias switches since then but Eric Sohn is here and Minseok is still ruining my life by being sexy.

Do you know

How HARD it is

To stay loyal

WHEN HE EXISTS?!

f u c k

I’m trying to stay loyal to Chanyeol and Jimin, but i’m suffering.

[geniuscloud]

Y’all… I met my ult 🧍‍♀️

[geniuscloud]

… I’m meeting Eric Sohn. Holy shit. I won the makestar 1:1 fansign.

[geniuscloud]

“hes just some guy” have you SEEN his boobs?????

[geniuscloud]

Paper Crown - Eric Sohn (The Boyz)

Author Note: Hello! I know I've been gone for like... 2 years but I’m back with some The Boyz fanfics mainly because they’ve become my ults over the last few years and I really wanted to write about them. This is a new beginning for my Tumblr page, so please look forward to some more fanfics from me in the future! Also comments are greatly appreciated! Makes writers feel more motivated to write, so I’d appreciate feedback if anyone wants to!

~NOT EDITED SORRY~

Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, like one suggestive remark.

Eric Sohn X Reader (Fem!) 

University AU!

Warnings: Suggestive humour and a little bit of swearing.

Word Count: 2.6K

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A sigh of relief escaped your lips as you shut your laptop closed; submitting your final essay with only 7 minutes to spare. Stretching your arms above your head with a grunt before picking yourself up off of your living room floor. You always heard from your high school teachers that university essays were a different league of difficulty, but you didn’t expect to go from someone who usually got high grades for essays in high school, to getting multiple C+ and a handful of B- which caused the good student in you to panic even more during finals. Every C was a chip away at your academic scholarship, which although wasn’t much, it still lessened the impending doom that was student loans. You were suddenly pulled away from your thoughts at the sound of a pair of keys jingling at the front door of your apartment.

“Eric?” you called out, knowing he was the only other person with a pair of keys to your apartment. Leaving the spare with your best friend incase of emergencies, but instead using it as his leisure to gain access to your apartment whenever he pleases. You placed your laptop down on the coffee table before approaching the door, which swung open right as you got to the doorway.

“Hey hey Y/N, how’s the paper going?” Eric smiled, closing the door behind him before kicking off his shoes and slipping on a pair of slippers he conveniently left at your house for when he visits.

“I just finished actually, you uh- didn’t think to call or text that you were on your way?”

“I knew your paper was due at midnight, just wanted to surprise you with some snacks for when you were done,” he smiled, placing the plastic bag on the counter while raising his eyebrows at you, “What? Are you not happy to see me?”

“No I’m always happy to see you, I just… I’ve had a long day and I’m just nervous,” you replied, opening the lid to a soda you snatched from the bag.

His strong arms reached out to you, pulling you in close for a tight hug before pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head, “It’s okay love; you’re an amazing writer and a great student. You’ll be fine, it’s over and there’s nothing you can do to change it now, okay? Just relax and enjoy the start of summer break.”

It was the heart fluttering moments like this where you regretted not officially dating Eric, wanting so badly to have him litter you with kisses during stressful moments, have him always be around to comfort you while you weren’t at your best, emotionally wise. Eric was your rock, the person who kept you sane, brought a smile to your face during tough times and reminded you to have fun.

You both were aware of the mutual feelings you held, a little seed of love that was embedded deep in your heart for one another, but Eric was also someone you couldn't afford to lose. There have been many times you both talked about your relationship, longing for each other beyond innocent forehead kisses, tight hugs, and cuddles on the couch while watching a movie. You wanted every little piece of him and his heart, but your track record of failed relationships and the fear of commitment loomed over you like a dark cloud. Hours of crying into his arms saying your feelings for him kept growing after all the years of friendship, but he was also there when your family fell apart; knowing how broken it left you and the tragic mindset that love doesn’t last. Eric understood you better than you understood yourself; whispering a sentence that has stuck with you since you admitted your feelings for each other about a year ago, “You’re worth the wait.”

Pulling away from his grasp you placed your hands on the counter, looking over to the clock reading 12:09am. Neither of you were strangers to late hangouts, seeking comfort in the darkness of night as you spent hours mindlessly passing time through half-lidded, and sleep filled eyes. Watching dawn break from your balcony over mugs of hot chocolate and damp wind biting at your cheeks, feeling every ounce of energy leave your body, but fighting the urge to sleep so you can spend every precious second with the man you’ve fallen in love with. He was like a human battery, his energy so addicting you found yourself craving him like a drug. How easily he stayed up until 4 or 5am without a single yawn, while you were on your 20th “wind” of energy for the night. It was something you could never wrap your head around or even begin to understand.

“I see you’ve been too busy to clean up,” he laughed, gesturing to the scattered take-out boxes in your living room.

“Hey, shut up. I was stress eating while trying to meet a deadline!”

“Every time I come over during one of your mental breakdowns and witness the aftermath, you really just solidify that you need me. Who else would be here to help clean up after you’ve basically turned your apartment into a disaster zone?”

“It’s literally 3 boxes, don’t be an ass,” you laughed, elbowing him in the ribs as he picked up a container off the floor.

“So, now that you’re free, do you want to go do something? Maybe get your mind off of things for a little while?”

“Hmm and what do you have in mind for one of your famous late night escapades?” a smirk falling on your lips once again.

“Well… I did bring my skateboard, how about I finally teach you?”

“No way, I'm not getting on that thing. Do you want me to crack my head open?!”

“I’ll hold you, don’t worry. We’ll just go for a walk, get some fresh air and relax. Okay?” He smiled, grabbing your hand and slowly pulling you towards the door. Eric’s hands were large in comparison to yours, warm too. Feeling tingles creep across your palms as he grips yours; no longer being able to hold back the intense feelings you held for him anymore. Everything Eric would do made your heart beat quicken, feeling fire in every graze of skin. He quickly buried your hand into his grey hoodie pocket, keeping your fingers locked with his as you closed up your apartment with your free hand.

Stepping onto the street in the middle of the night was almost euphoric. The street lamps glowing from above as a soft warm breeze ruffled through your hair, slightly messing Eric’s fluffy brown bangs which were parted slightly to the side. The only noise being the buzzing from a dying lamp-light and Eric’s soft sigh before pulling you towards the direction of a nearby park. The walk was still silent, usually your conversations were at its peak excitement by now, but it was a little different this time around. The usually chatty boy was now strangely silent, his fingers still locked with yours but random gentle squeezes occurring when he would look at you; his lips falling into a half smile.

“You okay?” you asked, “You’re awfully quiet tonight?”

“Mmm yeah, I’m just savouring the moment with you.”

“Why are you making it sound like you’re leaving?”

“Oh God, no I'm not going anywhere! You can’t get rid of me that easily, just… taking a moment to reflect on us, you know?”

“Like us as friends, or… you know… us.”

“It’s a secret,” he whispered, playfully bumping shoulders.

“Hey, I'm the other part of the equation. You should include me too,” you pouted.

“I’m just thinking. You know I still really like you, right?”

“I mean… I hope you wouldn’t have really changed feelings in like a year. Have they?”

He looked up into the night sky before glancing down into your eyes. They were dark, but also so bright and full of life.

“Yeah I think my feelings have changed a bit though.”

“Oh…” your heart dropped a little bit at his words, feeling a sinking feeling burn inside your chest.

“Yeah, I think I’m in love with you,” Eric slightly huffed with a pleased look on his face while glancing back up at the sky.

“Oh. Um- wow, okay,” you began to stumble out. You definitely weren’t prepared for that.

“Don’t worry, you don’t have to say anything. I just felt like I should let you know, I'm not expecting a response from you. Let’s just go teach you to skate.” This boy really just likes making you blush and freak out from his little bold moments.

It wasn’t long before you reached the park. Seeing the neon 24-hour fast food restaurant sign light up the entire street from across the road. A place you visited frequently with Eric when hanging out at the park. “If you successfully ride on the board for more than 30 seconds by yourself without falling on your face, I'll treat us to burgers and a milkshake. Got it?!” he snickered while placing it on the ground in front of you.

“Just help me first, and then you have a deal.”

Eric walked around to your side before placing his hand on your hip, threading his fingers with your extended arm while you gripped onto his shoulder with your other hand. Slowly walking beside you for support as you stood on the board.

“Okay good… now can you try to push with your one foot? I’m just pulling you at this point.”

“Shut up, I'm trying my best.”

“You’ve been on it for like 10 seconds, calm down.”

“This has been the longest I've been on it, so just let me go at my own pace,” you huffed out.

“Yeah, well I want burgers TONIGHT, not in 14 days. Just try, I believe in you.”

“You already told me you’re in love with me, how many more heart spikes do you think I can take tonight?!”

“Hey I’m a romantic guy! You want me to hold in my feelings for you?” Eric laughed, his eyes crinkling with a giddy expression.

“Romantic guy my foot!” you spat, the skateboard underneath you starting to go faster.

Over an hour and 2 almost disasters later, you managed to go a measlely 20 feet on the skateboard alone. “I have officially tamed the demon, now let’s go get some food! You owe me!”

“I don’t really think that was 30 seconds…”

“Close enough! Now let’s get some mediocre fast food and head back home,” you cheered while placing his skateboard into his hands before running across the deserted street. He rolled his eyes with a sigh before chasing after you, his black tank-top underneath his sweater slightly poking out over a pair of perfectly rounded shoulders. Sitting down in the booth you felt the cold seat press against your thighs, the air conditioner running at full blast at almost 2am while Eric leaned over the counter to order the usual. Moments later he returned with a tray of food and a paper king crown on his head, meaning he must have somehow convinced the man at the till to give him the crown from the childrens’ meal, despite getting regular combos.

“Two cheese burgers, medium fries, and a strawberry milkshake to share,” he announced while sliding the tray towards you.

“A milkshake to share? You’re that cheap?”

“I’m being romantic!”

“We’re gonna end up getting a second one on the way out…”

“Yeah probably,” he dead-panned while unwrapping his burger. The crown on his head started slipping off his hair, quickling pushing it back up with your left hand before it fell into the fries.

“How’d you get that?”

“Eh, I basically just asked. It improves the experience if I do say so myself.”

“You’re such a child.”

“And you’re just jealous I didn’t get you one too,” Eric exclaimed.

It wasn’t long before you grabbed your second milkshake and headed back to your apartment. He slowly skated beside you before suggesting he pulled you around on it again, hoping to get back to your place before 3am hit but also knowing how slow you walked when you were tired. After a short and silent stroll, you pushed your keys into the heavy door of your apartment. Eric immediately went to grab the large blanket and began to set up outside on the balcony where you both spent most of your time talking. You placed the milkshake down on the table before sitting on the padded-loveseat beside him to hide under the blanket which was wrapped around his shoulders.

“Are you cold?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah, just a little bit.” He reached his arm around you, cascading the blanket over the two of you before pulling you into him. He was warm and his clothes smelled like a mix of clean laundry and the muted smell of the cologne you bought him for his last birthday. A familiar scent which felt like home. Eric rested his chin beside your head; feeling your forehead press into his neck before wrapping your arms around his torso and cuddling into him deeper.

“You make it so hard to not fall for you…” you whisper while closing your eyes and inhaling his scent. He doesn’t reply, just the feeling of his thumb gazing at your side before squeezing you a little tighter. “I’m sorry I’ve been making this so hard for the both of us, we’re so obviously in love with each other but I’m just afraid of the label of being a proper couple… It’s not fair that I keep making us fall into a weird limbo of couple and friends.”

“Y/N you know friends don’t do this type of stuff.”

“Yeah… I just- I’m afraid of losing you.”

“I know love. I wouldn’t want to lose you either but that doesn’t stop my desire to just kiss you until I have no air left in my lungs.”

“Fuck- maybe you are romantic,” you gaze back up at the paper crown on his head, “Okay… well you kinda killed it again with the stupid crown.” He chuckled before placing the crown onto your head and leaning back to admire you.

“I will admit, it suits you a little more.” You scoffed at the dorky comment he made before resting your head on his shoulder. “So my queen… Do you have any requests?”

“If we become a couple officially, do you think we’ll still be the same?”

He pondered for a second before looking down into your eyes. “I don’t think we’ll be the same, we’re only in our early twenties so we’re going to change and adapt as we grow. I do think we’ll grow together though and learn to deal with things differently as a couple... a team. Plus I'd be a little sad if we stayed the same as now, there are so many things I wanna do with you.”

“Keep it in your pants Sohn.”

“I meant cute things as a couple that we don’t do now, but okay miss dirty-mind. Just revealed what you think of me,” he smirked while wiggling his eyebrows. “Back to the original topic though… Anything you want me to do?”

“I want you to show me that love isn’t temporary.”

“Now that is something I can do,” Eric mumbled before leaning into you. His lips found yours instantly, feeling the smooth skin pressed against yours in desperation. It was a moment your heart longed for after all this time. Every bit of dopamine in your body releases in full bloom like a warm spring day. It was falling in love with him slowly, and then all at once.

[geniuscloud]

2021 Link Update

Masterlist

ATEEZ

Series

-Nothing Yet-

Oneshots

Only the Lonely Survive - Yeosang

Excerpt: “Cool, here’s my number. Text me when you find a meeting spot and I’ll meet you there,” he shot a quick wink in response before he slung his backpack over his shoulder once again. There was a weird skip of a beat in my heart as my eyes followed his back down the hall. I put my hands to my cheeks, feeling them heat up slightly before I rested my forehead on my locker. Yeosang really was as attractive as everyone had gushed about. His eyes were definitely the first thing anyone noticed about him, and that jawline? My God, you could cut diamonds with that thing.”

Fluff and mild Angst. Private School AU

__________________

You’re My Home - Hongjoong

Excerpt: “You rested your head on the couch, and lightly pressed your cheek into his shoulder. Every deep breath filled your nostrils with the scent of his Gucci cologne you had boughten him for his birthday. You don’t know if it was because you felt tired, or just how warm and safe you felt, but there was a part of you deep down that just longed to be pulled into his chest and cuddle until you fell asleep.”

Fluff. Best Friend AU

Seventeen

Series

-Nothing Yet-

Oneshots

All The Colours of You- Woozi/ Lee Jihoon

Excerpt: “That was how I met my soulmate. The girl who brought so much color into my life, and changed my entire world. I fell in love with her faster than the speed of light, and lost her almost just as quickly.”

Angst and Fluff (OC) Soulmate AU

____________

The Perfect Date- Hoshi/ Kwon Soonyoung

Excerpt: "Why would it matter if Hoshi knew? He’s just my senior who occasionally dances with me. Plus, he’s an idol and we’re all still trainees? He’s probably not allowed to date any of us; on top of the fact that he’s all out of our league. So, it doesn’t matter if he knows or not; anyways we’re just friends if anything.“

Fluff :3

Hoshi X Reader

______________

At My Worst- Seungkwan/ Boo Seungkwan

Excerpt: “She nodded her head in response, trying to fake confidence for his sake. She was nervous to even speak, because she was afraid her voice would tremble and reveal the fact that even though she was smiling, every part of her being was screaming. Her brain was loud and was almost enough to drown out Seungkwans little rant about the event.”

Fluff :3 

Seungkwan X Reader

Warnings: Themes of Anxiety and Anxiety Attacks

NCT (All Units)

Oneshots

Freckles- Jaehyun

Excerpt: “Do you remember my 20th birthday… All of us got very drunk, but I remember something, and I want to know if you do too,” he began. You bit your lip and continued to advert your eyes from his. “On my 20th birthday I confessed my feelings for you, do you remember it?”

 Super Fluff, and the little itty bitty teeny tiniest suggestive.

Best Friends to Lovers AU!

_____________

Dimples (Freckles Part 2)- Jaehyun

Excerpt:  “I can’t stay here forever; but let me at least turn off the alarm!” You turned over to click the alarm before instantly getting pulled back to face him. His arms were wrapped tight around your waist, as he started to pepper kisses over your face.

Fluff, and a little suggestive.

Best Friends to Lovers AU!

____________

Dearly Departed- Taeyong

Excerpt: “Tae… I can’t do this to you. You deserve a person who is going to be able to be there for you. We’re going to live worlds apart. When you go to sleep, I wake up. We’ll see each other maybe twice a year at most. As much as I love you, and as much as it hurts… I have to let you go.”

ANGST. Talks of depression.

___________

Insecure- Haechan

Excerpt: “If you aren’t going to love your skin I will. Now give me your cute face, because i’m going to shower you with kisses all over your cheeks and forehead.” 

Super Fluff!

____________

Jealousy- Mark Lee

Excerpt: “I hate this stupid deal! We were like 8 years old y/n! I don’t want to have to hide my feelings for you. You sure as hell know we’re more than friends. Normal friends don’t cuddle on the couch and hold hands. I don’t want this stupid deal to be valid anymore, because I hate seeing you be all cute and touchy with other guys.”

 Best Friends to Lovers! AU

Fluff

__________________

Ever After - Na Jaemin

Excerpt: “Don’t you get it, I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU GIANT IDIOT!!” Jaemin screamed. The room fell silent instantly; Jaemin has never yelled like that in his life. His usual cuddly and affectionate self was gone.

Prince! AU

Fluff

________________

Reactions

Love at First Sight- NCT U

Crying In front of Them- NCT Dream

BTS

Series

-Nothing Yet-

Oneshots

You Are My Sunshine- Hobi

Excerpt: “This was never supposed to happen. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. Our dreams of growing old together was supposed to go through with no bumps in the road. We were going to be happy; married and with children. We had planned to see the world together, and reside in one another. We were supposed to stay home; not in a hospital. Where I could lay with him, and not sit beside him anxiously holding his hand while he slept. Though fate seemed to have a different plan.” 

ANGST. Subject of Death. AU <(Thank God it’s an AU, I’d cry forever if this really happened to Hobi.)

[geniuscloud]

I’ll be hopefully posting something new soon for The Boyz. I wrote an Eric fanfic//Oneshot but i’ve still got to edit it!

[geniuscloud]

Taeyong - NCT 127

[geniuscloud]

[geniuscloud]

Fanfiction isn’t perfect. Sorry.

I just found a mistake in a book that has been on the NYT Bestseller list for about a billion weeks. Yup. A missed word in the middle of a sentence that wasn’t caught by the writer, a team of professional editors, and countless other professionals in the book publishing world.

My question is... why do readers expect perfection from Fanfiction stories? I’m not a professional writer and I don’t have a team of people combing over my stories looking for mistakes. I write in my limited free time between work, family, and dozens of other responsibilities. I’ve never seen (nor do I expect to see) a dime for my work. So why is it that I have readers who will only comment on a chapter to point out where I’ve made a mistake? Or why have I had readers tell me that they can’t keep reading my story I’m sharing with them for free because they saw that I misspelled a word once or twice? Typos, apparently aren’t acceptable in free literature.

What’s my point? If you enjoy reading Fanfiction, please be kinder to the writers when something isn’t perfect. If you enjoy writing Fanfiction, please be kinder to yourself when something isn’t perfect. This is what we do for fun. Don’t expect professional editing on something that was written purely for the fun of it. Besides, even published books have mistakes in them.

[geniuscloud]

[geniuscloud]

I’M SORRY. THIS IS ME. I do have 3 stories started though, so... we’ll see.

me: i wanna write, i feel like writing

*opens a doc*

me: ok brain now let’s write

my brain:

[geniuscloud]

Reblog if you're a fanfic writer and you wanna know what your followers' favorite story of yours is ❤

[geniuscloud]

This reblog comment just made me squeal. @damnyouficc thank you so much for your comment💕

Only The Lonely Survive- ATEEZ (Yeosang)

I’m actually kind of proud of this one, so hopefully it’s good! I didn’t edit it though, so be warned. Thanks for reading! I really enjoyed writing this.

Genre: Fluff and Angst

Yeosang X Reader (Fem!)

Private School AU

Warnings: Swearing and mentions of mature themes. Mild bullying.

Word Count: 4.8K

_______________________________

“Um excuse me, are you okay? Class ended 15 minutes ago.”

I was startled awake by the voice of a classmate, who lightly shook my shoulder to wake me from my sleep. The panic in my face began to settle as I quickly scanned around the room, all the desks were completely empty and the only people left were the girl and myself.  

“Holy shit, what time is it?”

“It’s 12:16, it’s lunch break right now. You were out cold, do you want me to walk you to the nurses office?” she replied. She was short, extremely long dark hair and big glasses framed her face. Wendy, the shy girl who hardly spoke to anyone, but definitely one of the most caring people in our grade.  

“No it’s okay, thanks Wendy. I just was working really late last night, I guess I dozed off because I didn’t get much sleep. Thanks for waking me up, I need to put up my flyers before class starts again.” I quickly collected my bag, giving her a small smile before rushing out of the classroom and into the hall. I had less than 45 minutes to hang my tutoring flyers, plus I had to get to my locker, eat and get to my next class on the other side of the building. I tried to work as fast as possible and was able to get it done within 20 minutes, giving me some time to spare to refuel my energy with food.

“Hey poverty, move. You’re in the way of my locker.”  

Keep reading

[geniuscloud]

Please everyone, start talking and posting about #JusticeForAteen.

ATeen is a 10 member KPop boy group which debuted this year. Recently 6 of the members have reported that they were sexually abused by the CEO’s Wife from their Company (DS&A)

Not much information has been released because many of the large sites haven’t posted about this story. The group has taken a hault on all activities to fight for justice, even taking over their instagram and deleting their posts on social media, then posting a photo pleading for help and support in their battle.

(These posts were translated, since I do not speak korean, and were confirmed by many fluent/native speakers)

I also included the more informative post that is attached under the same picture in the comments.

The members age range is from 1992-2001. Majority of members being 1996 and under.

Please spread awareness on this issue. Women aren’t only the victims, and it can happen to anyone in any industry.

[geniuscloud]

Only The Lonely Survive- ATEEZ (Yeosang)

I’m actually kind of proud of this one, so hopefully it’s good! I didn't edit it though, so be warned. Thanks for reading! I really enjoyed writing this.

Genre: Fluff and Angst

Yeosang X Reader (Fem!)

Private School AU

Warnings: Swearing and mentions of mature themes. Mild bullying.

Word Count: 4.8K

_______________________________

“Um excuse me, are you okay? Class ended 15 minutes ago.”

I was startled awake by the voice of a classmate, who lightly shook my shoulder to wake me from my sleep. The panic in my face began to settle as I quickly scanned around the room, all the desks were completely empty and the only people left were the girl and myself.  

“Holy shit, what time is it?”

“It’s 12:16, it’s lunch break right now. You were out cold, do you want me to walk you to the nurses office?” she replied. She was short, extremely long dark hair and big glasses framed her face. Wendy, the shy girl who hardly spoke to anyone, but definitely one of the most caring people in our grade.  

“No it’s okay, thanks Wendy. I just was working really late last night, I guess I dozed off because I didn’t get much sleep. Thanks for waking me up, I need to put up my flyers before class starts again.” I quickly collected my bag, giving her a small smile before rushing out of the classroom and into the hall. I had less than 45 minutes to hang my tutoring flyers, plus I had to get to my locker, eat and get to my next class on the other side of the building. I tried to work as fast as possible and was able to get it done within 20 minutes, giving me some time to spare to refuel my energy with food.

“Hey poverty, move. You’re in the way of my locker.”  

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes before spinning around to see who belonged to the voice, “Natalie, nice to see you haven’t changed a bit over the holidays...”

“Nice to see that you’re still poor. Cute sweater by the way, where did you get it? Walmart? Or is that still too expensive for you?”

“Can’t you learn to shut up for once in your life?”

“Can’t you learn that you’re not welcome here? It’s a private academy for the privileged, not for scholarship riding wannabes,” she smirked.

“Nat leave her alone,” a deeper voice spoke behind her. Natalie's eyes widened a little before spinning around on her heels, coming face to face with the guy behind her.

“Sangie, I'm just being honest.”

“Actually you’re being a bitch, do you mind?” he said, titling his head to the side trying to signal for her to leave.

“Here, why don’t you take a flyer on your way out. All that fake tanning must be melting your brain a little, I can help with that,” I smiled while passing her a flyer. Her eyebrows furrowed in response, quickly stomping off without the flyer. Suddenly the paper that laid in my hand lazily was pulled from my grasp as Yeosang studied it.

“You’re doing tutoring?”

“Yeah, I thought about making some extra money to help my parents out. Do you know anyone who might need it?”

“I’m not failing, but I could always use some help getting a little higher grades. Count me in, when can we start?” he smiled.

“We can start after school if you’re not busy? All tutoring sessions will be 90-120 minutes maximum after school because I have to work at 6:30pm most weekdays.”

“Cool, here’s my number. Text me when you find a meeting spot and I'll meet you there,” he shot a quick wink in response before he slung his backpack over his shoulder once again. There was a weird skip of a beat in my heart as my eyes followed his back down the hall. I put my hands to my cheeks, feeling them heat up slightly before I rested my forehead on my locker. Yeosang really was as attractive as everyone had gushed about. His eyes were definitely the first thing anyone noticed about him, and that jawline? My God, you could cut diamonds with that thing.

The rest of the day went by so slowly and the anticipation of getting to study with Yeosang for some reason made me excited but nervous. He was so popular and so attractive, and usually I would stay away from everyone in this school, because most people were snobby due to their social background. Though from what I could tell, he seemed very nice. I’ve never heard anything bad about him, and he definitely wasn’t the stereotypical popular jerk. The final bell rang, and I almost sprinted out of the class and to my locker, quickly grabbing my stuff before running to the washroom. I did a quick check of my makeup, and brushed my hair. I honestly don’t know why I felt some kind of pressure to look good; I was just helping him study!?

I found my way to the quiet section of the library. The walls were lined from the roof to the floor with books, and the old hand carved wood gave the most elegant and antique look. It looked like a scene from a fairy tale had come to life. I sat down at the one table in the far back and let Yeosang know where I was. I felt a knot in my stomach grow from the nerves, and sat patiently for him. What if he doesn’t show up? What if he was just trying to make a fool out of me and waste my time? My palms began to sweat a little, and I rubbed them on my black skinny jeans.  

“Y/N?” I looked up from the table, trying to hide the anxiety clearly written on my face.

“Yeosang, hey. I’m glad you showed up.”

“Sorry I took so long, I can to call my parents and let them know I was going to be home later, and then I went down the wrong hall and had to loop back,” he smiled while getting his backpack down beside him and he slid into the seat beside me.

“Okay, well let’s get started. What classes do you need help with?”

“Currently my lowest mark is History, I'm pretty bad at memorizing dates.”

“Okay, well let’s start on that, I'm assuming you’re around chapter 5-6 right now?”

_________________

Soon enough, the hour turned into three, and the light from the sky had completely drained into pitch black. Our time studying was mixed with work and casual chatting, hearing stories about his life and his unfortunate and short-lived relationship with Natalie. I felt extremely comfortable with him, sharing some stories about my childhood as well. We were very different, but it was enjoyable.  

“Hey Y/N, do you mind if I ask you a question? It’s okay if you don’t answer me.”

“Sure, go ahead.”  

He looked around a little before facing me again, “Why are you always alone? I see you often, but you never are with anyone or talking to anyone?”  

I deep a deep breath before leaning forward over the table, “I’m not going to lie. A lot of people look down on me because the only reason I can attend this school is because of a scholarship. My grades are so high I was offered a scholarship as long as I keep my grades up. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here, and everyone knows that. This academy is extremely expensive, and no regular folk can just attend this school unless you’re super rich. You see everyone here wearing Gucci clothes and driving nice cars, while I'm a ‘order this cute sweater online because it’s on sale and public transportation’ kind of girl.”

“That’s pretty shallow of others, I think you’re pretty fantastic regardless,” he smiled. I laughed a little before drawing my attention back to the book, continuing to write down some information from the textbook for him. “Wow it sure is getting dark, it’s also starting to snow,” he said gazing out of the window.

“Holy crap, what time is it?”

“It’s 5:44 pm, we’ve been studying for almost 3 hours now. That’s crazy?”

“Oh my God, I have to go. I have work at 6:30!” I shrieked while quickly packing my stuff, “We were supposed to be done an hour ago!”

“I’m sorry I distracted you, how about I walk you to work it’s dark out anyways. I’d rather you get there safe,” he suggested while packing his stuff as well.

“You really don’t have to, it’s okay.”

“No, please, let me walk you to work.” I nodded shyly while putting on my jacket and getting ready to leave with Yeosang beside me. His black padded jacket went down to his knees, and he wrapped a scarf around his neck before turning around to face me. My jacket was zipped up as high as it could go, no scarf, hat, or gloves. “Did you not bring anything but your jacket?”

“I did, but I left my scarf on the public bus, so it’s long gone.”

“Do you want to use mine?”

“Nah, I don’t want you to be cold.” He just lightly laughed before grabbing my hand and spinning me around to face him. His eyes stared into mine as he unwrapped the scarf and put it around me. My breathing slowed down slightly as he kept eye contact with me, neatly wrapping the scarf until my mouth was hidden from the bitter cold.

“I’m not letting you get cold, we can’t let your head freeze if you’re going to be tutoring people.”

“Um, thank you..” I was so glad the scarf was hiding my cheeks, because they were bright red by now. He tucked his hands into his pocket and we started walking down towards the convenience store where I worked evenings occasionally. The walk was silent for the most part, he occasionally asked me a few questions and we continued our conversation from earlier. Surprisingly I was really comfortable around him, he seemed so genuinely kind and interested in getting to know me. The walk was quick, and a little part of me wished we could have done this longer.  

“Yeosang, thanks for walking me to work and lending me your scarf. I had a good time studying with you. Here let me give you this back,” I said removing the scarf.

“Won’t you need it on your way home?”

“No, my mom is going to pick me up after work, so please take it back.”

“Okay, and I should probably pay you for the session now, right? The flyer said $15 an hour?” he mumbled grabbing his wallet out, “I only have a $50 so you can accept a $5 tip, right?”

“Nah, for you the first session is free. Plus I had a lot of fun hanging out with you, and you lent me your scarf. Anyways, I should get to work, I'll see you at our next session. Have a good night Yeosang...”  

“You too Y/N, text me when you get home so I know you’re safe,” he smiled while wrapping the beige scarf around his face. The color contrasted with his dark brown hair which was still perfect even though the light wind caused a few flyway's to appear every once in awhile. I nodded slightly as he turned away, walking across the street and disappearing through the park. There it was again, the skip in my heart beat returned as I watched him leave for the second time.

__________________

A few weeks had passed since our first study session. He started attending our tutoring sessions three times a week, forcing me to reduce the price because it felt like he was trying to pay me to hang out with him more than anything. I also started tutoring a few other students during lunch or after school on other days. Our tutoring relationship started turning into a real friendship, and I had to learn to control my heart around him. I started seeing him more often, hanging out with him and his friends during lunch sometimes as well. After attending this academy on my scholarship for 2 years, I finally felt like I made a real friend. There were so many shallow people in this school, but I quickly discovered that some of the other students here weren’t so bad after all, and not everyone was ready to cause me emotional distress just because of my money situation.  

“Y/N, you’re joining us for lunch tomorrow, right?” Mingi asked, one of Yeosang’s friends who happened to sit behind me in my chemistry class.  

“Yeah sure, are we meeting in the cafeteria like usual?”

“Yup. I’ll text the boys and let them know.” Mingi was a special guy, very tall and athletic looking, but very sweet and almost childlike. I used to avoid him because I thought he’d be very cold, but in reality he was a big sweet heart who was scared of bugs. Besides Yeosang, Mingi was definitely who I was closest with out of the group.

‘Hey, can we meet after school in the library? I know we don’t have a tutoring session today, but it’s important.’ The message lit up my phone screen, seeing Yeosangs ID show up.

‘Yeah, I'm not busy today. We can meet up for a bit,’ I replied back.  

Soon enough the bell rang, and I headed to the library, our designated meet up spot. I saw him sitting on the edge of the table, a little white bag beside him and his phone in his hand.

“Sang, what’s up?”

“Hey Y/N, sorry to bother you on your day off. I just had something I wanted to give you. It’s a thank you gift for tutoring me even though you keep refusing my money, and also a little thanks for being my friend.” I stopped in my tracks, pursing my lips together slightly before letting my head tilt sideways in confusion.

“You got me a gift?” I asked puzzled.

“Yeah, I remember you needed one, and with it getting cold I thought you might need it,” he smiled while passing the bag to me. I’ll admit, I was interested in knowing what he had boughten me and so I accepted it. My eyes were still squinted with curiosity and disbelief as I kept panning from the bag to his face. After removing the tissue paper, I saw the soft navy pattern fabric neatly folded in the bag.  

“You got me a scarf?”

“Yeah, there’s also a little matching hair bow. I remember you said you lost your other one on the bus a few weeks ago and I heard we’re supposed to get another snow storm soon. I wanted to make sure you were warm.” I pulled the scarf out and examined it, it looked like a washed-out charcoal navy color with geometric white and red lines. The fabric was so soft and warm, I couldn’t believe I could like a scarf this much. It looked like a darker version of the beige scarf he had lent me a few weeks ago. “Do you like it?”

“I love it, thank you Yeosang. You really didn’t have to get me anything! I could have gotten one for myself a little later on.”

“Nah, this was nothing. Wait until your birthday, that’s when I really pull out all the stops for my friends,” he said while flashing a bright smile. I couldn’t help but smile back while I rolled my eyes playfully. He then got to his feet and grabbed the scarf from my hands, gently wrapping it around me once again, just like he did the first time. His hands lingered a little as they dragged down the brown fabric of my long jacket, sliding his fingers down the opening where the buttons were sown. His grip never let go, and I felt a little tug causing me to shuffle closer to him a bit. His other hand slid the scarf that was over my mouth down, just barely revealing my lips. I felt the air from my lungs escape all in one go, as if someone had just stepped on my lungs. His eyes were no longer locked into my own, but instead had focused his attention on my lips. My knees felt weak as I tried to make sense of the situation. Maybe I had some food on my mouth that I hadn’t noticed for the last 3 hours while I was in class?  

“Y/N may I ki-”

“Excuse me you two, the library is actually closed for the evening,” a voice said interrupting us. Our eyes quickly snapped towards the librarian who stood to the side with he arms crossed. I took the opportunity to slip away from Yeosang’s grasp and apologize while leaving quickly. Did he just ask me if he could...? Did that really just happen? Yeosang tried to catch up with me, but I ducked through a couple hallways and disappeared out of sight.

_______________________

The next morning I felt emotionally and mentally exhausted. I ignored the handful of texts Yeosang sent asking if I was okay, if he had done something wrong, and if I made it home safe. I didn’t want the police busting down my door because he thought I had gone missing, so I had sent a little thumbs up just so he knew I was still alive. I felt odd, because a part of me really wanted to kiss him, but the other part of me just wouldn’t let him. I've been alone for so long, and I’m still a little too afraid to let people in my life; since only the lonely survive.  

I peeled myself out of bed and into the shower to try and wake myself up. The weather was dreadful, the type of damp-cold that stuck to your bones after going inside. I settled on a pair of black comfy jeans, and a large knit sweater to keep me warm. A little part of me wanted to still try to look cute, knowing I was going to have to face Yeosang and the rest of the boys today at some point. After applying makeup, I sat on my bed and stared at the little white bag in the corner.  

“He did buy it for me, and I might as well use it” I sighed. I quickly pinned up my hair and slid the hairbow in to secure it. I still had no idea why I was trying to look cute when I literally was an emotional mess on the inside. I will admit that the walk to school was much warmer than usual. I had a few people look at me as I walked through the halls towards my locker, and it felt a little strange having people actually look at me. What I thought would be a peaceful morning turned south as soon as I heard the nauseating voice of Natalie tell me to move out of the way from our lockers which were unfortunately side by side.  

“Wow poverty, what student did you steal that scarf from?” she mocked.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m not a fool, I know brand name when I see it. I know there is no way you bought a $900 Burberry scarf by yourself. What? Did you steal it?”

“I’m sorry, what? $900 scarf?” I asked, puzzled while searching the ends of my scarf. Low and behold, there was a small ‘Burberry’ tag sown on the ending of the scarf.  

“Cough it up, how’d you get that? Wait a matching bow too? What the hell, did you get yourself a sugar daddy or something?!” I could hardly believe my ears, and I felt pressure begin to bubble in my chest.

“Y-Yeosang bought this for me...” I mumbled out.

“What the hell? I knew your so-called tutoring sessions were bullshit. Oh my God, are you hoeing around so you can fit in?” she smirked, her face falling into pure amusement, “Holy shit you are. You’re Yeosang’s play toy aren’t you?”

“What are you talking about?! We literally meet in the library!” I yelled.

“You are not helping yourself. A quiet library like that, you could easily slip under the table unnoticed. Holy shit, I can’t wait to tell everyone what you’ve been doing. If you thought your reputation couldn’t get any worse, wait until this spreads around. You’re going to be so embarrassed that you’ll be begging to leave this school.”

“Natalie, can you stop harassing her!?” a somewhat deeper voice yelled. My eyes instantly fell on the small group of boys behind us. San was angry, his lips now pursed after yelling at her and had his hands balled up in fists, standing a little bit in front of Yeosang and Yunho.  

“Are you really hoeing around with all of them?” she said with her mouth agape in amusement, “this is rich.” Natalie pushed passed me and walked off down the hall.

“Hey are you okay?” Yeosang asked, grabbing my arm.

“No, t-this... I can’t do this. Why did you do it?” I asked, my voice beginning to crack as the tears started to spill down my cheeks.

“What did I do?”

“Why would you buy me a $900 scarf!? You know how I feel about money!?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think much of it. I just thought tha-”

“That’s right! You don’t think much about anything. You just throw your money around like it’s nothing!  Natalie is now telling everyone that I'm a prostitute, and that I'm your sick little play toy. I’m not a charity case that you can just invest a bunch of money into!” I yelled.

“That’s not what I meant, I just wanted to get you a gift! I wanted to get you something brand name because I knew you’d never do something like that for yourself!”

“What? Just because I don’t value brand name the same as you? Tell me honestly, are you embarrassed to be friends with me because my family doesn’t have money?”

“Are you crazy?! I don’t care that you’re not rich, I just wanted to get you a fucking gift! You’re blowing everything out of proportion. I didn’t say or even insinuate any of these things!” he started to argue back. San and Yunho took a step back, hearing San try to stop our fight.

“Then why the hell did you buy me gifts huh?!”

“Because I like you, okay?! I wanted to give you gifts because I wanted to prove that I could be a good potential boyfriend, and show my affection! That’s also why I tried to kiss you, are you happy now?”  

My heart sunk and I took a step back. He just admitted his feelings, but also expressed that he was trying to woo me with his money. To him I was just like the rest of these prissy girls in my school who expected to be treated like a queen and want expensive gifts.  

“I’m not for sale you asshole,” I spat. His furrowed expression fell as I shoved past him. For the first time in years, I skipped school and went home.  

___________________________

The weekend had given me time to recover, but the amount of texts and call I got from the boys kept reminding me of the memories I didn’t want. Maybe I was overreacting, since he did have good intentions. I just couldn’t help but feel dirty, and sick to my stomach. I was no better than Natalie, the obnoxious and self-absorbed drama queen. I don’t know what to expect when I go to school, but if Natalie has told everyone the rumors I'm going to be a walking punchline.  

I could hardly drag myself out of bed and into some clean clothes. I decided against a shower and makeup, settling on washing my face and leaving my hair down. I just didn’t have the power to put effort into my appearance, especially when I might be crying everything off anyways.  

The walk to school was torturous, but luckily the weather wasn’t bad. The snow for the most part has gone, but it was still a little chilly. I dragged my feet against the concrete, the lull of emotions evident on my face as I entered school for the first time in 4 days.  

“Hey,” someone muttered to me as I struggled with the lock on my locker. I was expecting the bitchy tone I hear every morning, but to my surprise she seemed rather calm. I almost didn’t believe it was her. “You look like shit...”

“Thanks,” I grumbled.

“Are you okay?”

“Why the hell do you care? Four days ago you were ready to ruin my life and now you’re expressing some kind of concern?”

“Listen here Pove- I mean Y/N... I just wanted to apologize for what happened on Friday. As much as I don’t like you, I took it too far. I know how it feels to be threatened like that because it’s happened to me as well. That’s actually kind of the reason I came to this school anyways, because I was running away from a rumor at my old school. I shouldn’t have done that to you, and just so you know I never told anyone,” she confessed. I was utterly stunned by the words coming out of her mouth. “Don’t get me wrong, I still hate you and want you to leave because you don’t belong, but I wanted to apologize for this. I’ll try to not being such a raging bitch to you all the time. Your face still makes me want to vomit, but I'll try to ignore you from now on as much as I can.”

“Um, thanks I guess. I’ll try to ignore you as well?”  

She shrugged a little before carrying on with her day as I finally got the lock open. Within a matter of seconds dozens of papers came flying out of my locker, spilling all over the floor and my feet.  

“Great, someone else has a problem with me...” I sighed, picking up the papers. They were notes, the same hand writing in black ink had my name written on the front of them. I knit my eyebrows together in confusion while struggling to open one.

‘You are the best person I’ve ever met.’

‘I miss you.’

‘I love the way you laugh.’

‘You are make me lovely.’

‘You are all the colors at once, in full brightness... -All The Bright Places, by Jennifer Niven. Yes I read your favorite book.’

The only thing that was consistent with every note was Yeosang’s signature on the bottom of each note. I choked up a little bit, as I began to fill the small pocket of my bag with the notes.  

‘Please meet me at the library during lunch’ I texted Yeosang.  

_______________________

I sat at the table in the library, anxiously playing the the hem of my shirt. I needed to apologize to yeosang for lashing out like that, but he might not be willing to accept my apology. He did confess his feelings for me, and I straight up just squashed him without any remorse or thought about how he feels.  

“Y/N, are you here?” his voice whispered from around the corner.

“Yeah I'm here.”

“Um, thanks for texting me. What made you change your mind and come see me?”

“Your letters actually, and the fact that Natalie apologized to me. If she can admit she did something wrong, I can as well. I really overreacted, you were just trying to be sweet and I completely blew up in your face. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry for not being considerate of how you felt, I didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just what I'm used to. I grew up with the norm that you buy the people who you care about expensive gifts and you show that you cherish them.”

“I know, I should have tried to be more level headed and understanding about it. The truth is, when you told me you liked me, my heart stopped for a second. I’ve wanted to hear you say that from the first day that we hung out, and I completely ruined it. I really like you too Yeosang, and I hope I didn’t ruin our chances; because I really wanted to kiss you that night... Hell, I really WANT to kiss you,” I admitted.

“I really want to forgive you and be done with it, but I also kind of want to make you suffer for crushing my heart,” he laughed.

“Yeah... I deserve that.”

“You do, but I don’t think my heart can let me. As much as I want to tease you, a bigger part of me wants to kiss you as well.”

“Then what’s stopping you?” I smiled, stepping a little closer to him, craning my neck upwards to face him.

“I need your permission, because once I kiss you I don’t want to stop. I want to kiss you as much as possible every day. I want you to be mine as long as you’ll have me.”

“Then you’re allowed to kiss me.”

His hands found themselves in the small of my back, pulling me even closer before pressing his lips to mine. He was everything I found myself falling for, he was perfectly lovely in every way. Absolutely lovely.