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Life Update
One more post for tonight.
A little while ago, I posted something titled “No means NO” and I had mentioned that I had been investigating the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
About that... After a LOT of reading and praying and asking questions and finding answers, I decided to reach back out to the missionaries I had been talking to, to continue lessons. I reached out to them around the middle of April and continued lessons and continued to ask questions and get answers. During this time, however, I also received several personal revelations that pushed me to do something huge in my life.
Tuesday, May 7th, 2019. A day I will never forget. Tuesday, I was baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I also had the rare privilege of being confirmed at my baptism, which was really cool.
It was a small event. Counting myself, there were 13 of us there. 2 sister missionaries and a member of the bishopric of my YSA Ward in town where I go to college, 6 classmates, a teacher and two family friends in the area who actually supported this decision, unlike my family. Even though I didn’t have many people there as support, it was a very special and unique day.
It’s kind of surreal because I’ve been trying to get baptized for about 6 years now but my dad is always out of state at work when I find a time that would work for everyone else and because he was a minister, I wanted to make sure he was there. There is a catch to this whole thing and that is that my family does not know. I know they would freak out and tell me what I’m doing is wrong and false and try to get me to leave. I haven’t told them because it’s not their choice. It’s mine. IF there are any repercussions, I have to live with them, not my parents.
This is something that I have found to be very dear to my heart in the last two and a half months and was not an easy decision but I am happy with it and I am so excited to continue through life with the Holy Ghost as my constant companion and to see what kinds of blessings Heavenly Father has in store for me and trust me, he’s given me one major one just this week.
-K
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Never Enough
Do you ever get that feeling when someone is yelling at you that no matter what you do, it’s never enough for them or it’s never good enough?
For me, it’s my father. He and I butt heads so often it’s not even funny. I was making a joke about him stepping outside to smoke and staying outside for like 30 minutes because he was playing on his phone. Shortly after, my mom was asking him to put away the leftovers because she’s been sick all night and so she said “Hey honey,” just trying to make sure he was listening (because a lot of times, he doesn’t) and he was taking a drink so she kept talking, asking him to put the leftovers away, and when he finished taking a drink, he started yelling and screaming about her apparently “assuming I can answer when you can clearly see that I’m taking an f*****g drink. I heard you the first f*****g time. I f*****g got it. Good grief!”
Me, being the momma’s girl I am, stepped in and tried to defend her, saying that that was the first time she had mentioned it (and it was) and that she was just getting his attention and he was actually listening and that she wasn’t even expecting an answer like he thought she was.
To which he decided to blow up all together about both my joke and the food, saying things like he’d start smoking inside to stop that “ f*****g problem”, knowing that him smoking inside during my childhood is part of the reason I have asthma in the first place, and to stop repeating ourselves when no one had repeated anything.
Being frustrated, I gathered my things and went upstairs to my room and (unintentionally) slammed the door a bit as I got ready to change, to which he got mad and told me to come downstairs so I retorted with “why so you can yell at me again? No thanks.” and closed the door again and haven’t been downstairs since.
Sometimes, dads are giant jerks and don’t realize it. However, I also know that he will be better in the morning. In the last 48 hours, he’s maybe gotten 8 hours of sleep since he’s been home. He’s cranky from that plus his mom lives with us and she hates everyone and she always complains to him about things my mom, another grandma at the house, or I have done or said lately, which is funny cause I’m out of state at school for another three weeks. I’m only home right now because it’s mother’s day weekend and my mom asked me to come home. That and I hadn’t been home since March when I was on spring break.
Rant over. I feel better.
-K
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Leo loves his flower crowns | by leo.mainecoon
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Okay I stan so many groups but this set of gifs gives me life. I love these two goofballs <3 Also J-Hope in glasses is adorable.
from then till now
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I found that piece in my best friend of 8 years <3 She keeps me sane
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Rose Quartz Collection | by therosequartzgoddess
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A Date????
So ya girl here was in a relationship for six months before he and I mutually broke things off. Long distance was just not our friend and I had been emotionally detached for a few weeks and did not want to cause him pain because of it. It’s been almost a month since we broke up but we still talk on a weekly basis. We were friends first, the relationship just kind of happened.
That aside, backstory time: In January, a guy in the chamber choir on campus had just returned from his mission, meaning he didn’t know anyone on campus or in the choir from last semester. He had asked me on a date in January and I had to tell him that I was sorry but I was in a relationship. Fast forward two months. He and I talk in class every day. He’s in two of the three choirs (one being a women’s chorus) so we see each other literally every school day. He’s a super sweet guy and a good friend of mine.
My best friend’s birthday is Wednesday which happens to be the same day as Western Swing, something I’ve done all year but have only had like three guys willing to go with me in the span of 8 months now. My best friend and I were talking today and she knows that I really like this guy so she walks up to him in class and goes like this:
BF: I have a question.
G: Sure what’s up?
BF: What are you doing Wednesday at 9?
G: Absolutely nothing.
BF: Cool. My birthday is on Wednesday and we always go to Western Swing but K doesn’t have anyone to go with and my boyfriend is going with us. Would you want to join us as her date? *Insert cheesy ass grin*
G: You know, I would absolutely love to. *Equally cheesy grin but to me this time*
Inside, I was screaming like a five-year-old. Outside, I just smiled widely and got his number to keep in contact about this week.
I AM SO EXCITED Y’ALL
-K
#country girl#western swing dance#a date???#I haven't been on a date since June#He's really cute y'all#best friend set me up#wingwoman#I should write stories#too many tags
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It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to has power over you.
Leon Brown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
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“If their absence brings you peace, did you really lose them?”
Recently, someone I used to be really close with has made me feel, well, worthless. I’m never good enough for her and everything is always my fault. We have been fighting off and on for almost a year now. I was ranting to my counselor about the situation today and she looked at me and asked me the question above and it has me thinking.
I don’t think I really lost her. Not really. Our friendship was nothing but an endless cycle of toxicity. We were always fighting and always arguing. I mean yea, I have some really fond memories with her but before long, they will be forgotten. It just happens. I kept finding myself asking why I keep trying to make things right with her and that was when I realized that things were falling apart between us. I didn’t know what to do to fix it but then I realized, I don’t need to. I shouldn’t have to be the only one making an effort to make things right and to make time for each other.
The biggest thing that bothered me about this friendship is that the aforementioned friend knows that I am away at college and my course loads are large plus being a music performance major, I am in several ensembles on campus. I am in 5 this semester alone. She knows that I am busy and that I hardly text people when I get so busy. Instead of messaging me first and either checking in on me or ask if I was busy, she would get defensive, saying that I didn’t care about our friendship enough to message her first when the truth is that when I did text her first, she wouldn’t respond to me. Ever.
Sorry for the rant. It’s been rough lately and I needed this off my chest.
-K
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No means No
Okay, so recently I’ve been investigating the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I’ve enjoyed learning about the church and their beliefs and it has let me form my own opinion on the church and its members. My previous opinion was based solely on the opinions of others and the bits of their opinion that I had chosen to hold onto. I recently told the Elders that I had been receiving lessons from that I was no longer interested after lots of prayer and reading in both the Bible and the Book of Mormon. So what do they try to do? They keep trying to push me to continue with lessons and yes, some of the things that they teach make sense but at the same time, there are things that just don’t make sense to me. When I asked an Elder that just returned home last week, he blatantly avoided answering my question, pushing me farther away and driving me to no longer want to learn.
My point is, I told them no and they took it as “keep trying until she breaks.” Like, they want me to get baptized on April 13th. Ummm no. I told them that I would not be ready and that I would need to continue to read and pray about it and when I came to them and told them I was not interested in being baptized into a church, they kept pressuring me.
When someone says no, it means NO. Respect those around you by listening with your ears and not your mouth.
end of rant
-K
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You are valuable because you exist, not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are. -Max Lucado
#quotes #sayings #proverbs #thoughtoftheday #quoteoftheday #motivational #inspirational #inspire — view on Instagram https://ift.tt/2Jop3gb
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It’s equally amazing how one day someone walks out of your life and you wonder why you ever lived with them.
-K
It’s amazing how one day someone walks into your life and you can’t remember how you ever lived without them.
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Vulnerability
This is my chance to share my thoughts and ideas in a space where I will not be judged as harshly as the outside world and I may do so soon. I have some poems and stories I would love to get feedback on but am too scared to share them with the real world. Would you folks be interested in reading them?
-K
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You don’t have to explain your dreams. They belong to you.
Paulo Coelho (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
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