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Bestie English - best friend Bestie Czech - beast, brute, monster

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I thought I'd made this up but it turns out the clearly blue tegu-themed mosasaur reconstruction is a childhood memory from the Indianapolis Children's Museum and neither a dream nor a hallucination!

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algebra is honestly funzies when you know what youre doing it’s like a puzzle that you feel smart for solving. however when you don’t know what you’re doing it becomes a challenge called who can turn into a feral dog and bite things fastest and brother i always win

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replies on my tumbler posts with 10k+ notes simulator

post: i think it is kind of annoying when youre at the store and someone is standing in front of the shelf you want to get to. but not the end of the world or anything

user1: its so disgustingly ableist to even think this. you are an evil person

user2: i dont find it annoying actually and its kind of sus that you do? what are you hiding?

user3: wow this post has real terf vibes

user9: what? how?

user3: trying to dictate what others do with their bodies is fascism.

user4: right i dont mind it for a few seconds but it is kind of irritating when they just dont see you waiting for them

user7: are you saying its okay for them to stand there for “a few seconds” ?? are you insane?

user4: yeah i dont really think its a huge deal

user7: you should literally be in prison what is wrong with you

user6: my abusive ex always used to stand in front of the shelves at the store so its really triggering for me to see this post. why would you do this?

user8: my abusive ex always used to get mad at people for standing in front of the shelves at the store so i think op is just as bad as my abusive ex in every way

user9: i totally agree with this post it does bug me a bit but i wouldnt get really pissed off about it i would be fine

user10: thats not what the post is saying. youre a fucking moron

user11: wow everyone this is what a red flag looks like. op is probably a narcissist.

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Fuck this broke my heart.

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Do you guys ever notice that when trumpie babies cry about "forcible gender transitions on kids" its only when it concerns transgender people but when it comes up about intersex children who are literal BABIES to TODDLERS to CHILDREN to TEENAGERS having their genitals REMOVED and REPLACED suddenly they dont give a single fuck? Its almost like they're more concerned about getting "non-normal" people to shut the fuck up instead of protecting kids 🤔🤔...

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i was opening up the nature center and a little wasp flew by while i unlocked the door so i let him out. then i looked down, and there was a spider, a millipede, and two rollie-pollie bugs waiting at the door and they all walked out in a line like they’d been at a party together overnight.

it’s been two weeks and i can’t stop thinking about it.

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SPOILERS the best part of the Superman movie was when Lex was walking towards the fortress of solitude and it just opened for him without explanation and my best friend turned to me in the cinema and whispered "he's already pregnant"

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i saw a girl on tiktok who put her salt lamp in the dishwasher and didn’t realize it would dissolve, and it’s been on my mind for like 3 days

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RULE NO. 1 OF WOUND CARE: ignore itttt :33

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i think that soy sauce fish and honey bear must be the very very best of friends

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It is wild how confident these Owners often are. Please Gordon Ramsay tell me why my restaurant is failing, wait what the fuck do you mean it's my decisions and the way I do things? Suck my cock, you know nothing about REAL food, you pretentious fuck.

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I’m dead

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basically there’s two types of thing in the world, Punk and Puritan. anything you like is Punk, and anything you don’t like is Puritan

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My toxic trait is that I am far more interested in the socio-economic and geopolitical implications of ABO settings than the smut.

For example: I can't read any ABO AUs set in England or France because while I can suspend my disbelief far enough for a gender trinary set up, I can't suspend it enough to believe those two countries would still be distinct entities in a alternate history where Richard the Lionheart could have impregnated Philip II.

If there was a viable dynastic future with Richard, Philip would have climbed him like an oak and dragged him to the altar if he had to. It's a match that makes perfect sense from both their points of view: Philip gets Aquitaine back under French rule, the best general in Europe on his council, and a powerful check on the Angevins... then unexpectedly (after Henry the Young bites it) the entire Kingdom of England for his Capetian dynasty. Richard meanwhile gets to stick it to his father, secure Aquitaine's prosperity, and gets the leverage to start pushing for his mother's release. Then when Henry kicks the bucket Richard doesn't actually have to be King of England in anything but name: Philip can run the countries and unify the Crowns and what not while Richard runs off to go Crusading.

Plus they also like, loved each other and stuff and being able to get to be together long term instead of being torn apart by politics would have been cool. But I'm mainly obsessed with the historical and dynastic implications.

All this to say any ABO au set in England or France that doesn't have them united as a singular Anglo-Frank empire is doing it wrong.