georgiamorn

[georgiamorn]

hey i know i broke your heart but would you wanna start a band with me? i miss the way you play guitar  and scrunch your face up when you sing  we could play anything you want  if you'd just let me know that you’re alive  i’ll be alright  cause i think i’m going crazy? 200 days since we last spoke  and i’ll never cease to amaze me how terrified i am of the unknown hey, i know it’s been six months but if i called you, would you answer me?  i'd say, "sorry for ruining your life, how are peter and sydney?" you could say anything you want  if I just get to know that you’re alive  i’ll be alright  cause I think that I'm going crazy? 200 days since we last spoke and I'll never cease to amaze me how terrified I am of the unknown do you think about me like i think about you? like every day i don’t call you  and every night i want to  do you think about me like i think about you? like every day i don’t call you  and every night i want to  do you think about me like i think about you? like every day i don’t call you  and every night i want to  cause i think that I've gone crazy? too many since we last spoke  and i’ll never cease to amaze me how terrified i am of the unknown

[georgiamorn]

last night i had a dream  we were making music, again and i sang you that song cuz you asked to hear it, and you didn’t want to kiss me so everything was easy and this is not my story i’m not the one who got hurt but i’m so worried my head is fit to burst  cuz i miss you like a friend  how i miss getting  wendy’s in your car making wisecracks at the stars  and i miss you like a kid how i miss my old house in oklahoma before childhood was over  do you think we’ll ever get back what we lost?  keep wondering what you’re doing  without me there  remember that show we watch, did you see the finale air?  i wish that i could know you without needing to owe you  and this is not my story i’m not the one who got hurt but i’m so worried my head is fit to burst  cuz I miss you like a friend  how I miss just waiting by your locker and watching you get taller   and i miss you like a kid  how i miss watching cartoons on the sofa like before childhood was over do you think we'll ever get back and it’s my fault that we’re not talking, i know you lose a boy if you can’t love him, these high hopes are gonna be the death of me  cuz i can’t bear to watch you bleed over of all i couldn’t be  and i wish we could be friends  but i know that it would  be too much to ask you to see what you can’t have i wish we could be kids  how I wish we could go back to how we started  wide-eyed, whole-hearted  starting to think i’ll never get back  what i lost 

[georgiamorn]

“you get how stubborn she is,”  he says, like he’s surprised  like i haven’t known you longer  like i don’t have you memorized  he sits in my backseat  with his hand on your thigh  only after i kicked him out of  the front passenger side  oh, i wish you had an inkling  wish i could get it through your skull  the colossal wealth of love that you deserve  he gives you just enough  to keep you coming back for more  isabelle, i wish you’d take  what you are worth  “he makes me feel like shit,”  you said to me that night  with my arms around your shoulders, with the tears in both our eyes  i hoped for a clean break something to help your bones align  but he bounced back like a ringworm, like a penitent parasite  oh, i wish that you could hear me  when i scream it to the earth  the unwavering adoration you deserve  oh, he should show me up  yeah, he should leave me in the dirt  isabelle, i wish you’d know  what you are worth  how many tears  can love pull from your eyes?  how many times  will you give him just one more try?  how many ways  can he leave you high and dry?  how bad can it hurt  before you’ll say goodbye? my girl, i love you dearly  from your head down to your soul  and i’ll love you all my life  and then after, so  i’m not going down easy no, not without a fight   till the one who loves you last  loves you right 

[georgiamorn]

[georgiamorn]

do you release your songs anywhere cuz i would LOVE to listen them on a streaming app youre wonderful

nope just here <3 but thanks for listening!!

[georgiamorn]

are we in love, or not?  you know i’d never typically put you on the spot  but the situation’s become complex and overwrought  see, i’m trying to prove a point to God  it’s fruitless, i know  but if i do this, i delay the letting go  no gnashing teeth  no gunshots at dawn  no, ours will be a slow death  the song of a fading sun  do we rest now, or do we rot?  my heart, these days, it holds you like a stomach holds a knot see, island life, it suited me too much  deserted all my mainland,  what i planted’s what i got  it’s fruitless, don’t you think i know?  truth is, i’m a wreck at letting go  no gnashing teeth,  just a thousand tiny cuts yeah, ours has been a slow death  the song of a fading sun  weren’t we brilliant, though, darling,  weren’t we fun?  how we turned all the mud into gold  every midnight to one?  and if we ever end up right back where we started, (you know I can’t help it, circularly minded)  i’d mind nothing less than  ending up back here with you  two kids at the end of the world, with  nothing to lose  maybe this time, i’ll keep you and you’ll keep me too 

[georgiamorn]

IF IT HAPPENS, IT HAPPENS LIKE THIS: 

when i am thirty-three and finally hitting my stride and high-school-me is a young girl i have long since absolved and sent to bed        and when i’ve come to adore the quiet i’ve built in the evenings while the families sit at their tables and i dip brushes into paints       and when i’ve perfected the task of summarizing my life in a way that does not make people feel sorry for me        and when i have quit thinking about it at all, even in flimsy, fleeting fantasies,  that’s when Love arrives.  Love is a moppy anachronism with one muddy shoe wedged in the doorframe at eleven-thirty p.m. on a weeknight, about ninety thousand hours since the last time i even thought to set a place for it at the table           and asks me through crooked teeth what’s for dinner        and i tell Love that dinner has come and gone and that i’ve been making single-serving meals for the last  ten years anyway because i am self-actualized and content        and Love asks me what’s for dinner,    and i forgive Love for tracking mud across the carpet i had finally remembered to vacuum    and i forgive Love for arriving with watery eyes and an empty belly and without calling ahead       because there are leftovers packed away in the fridge and blankets folded up in the hall closet      and i forgive Love for arriving messy        and i forgive Love for arriving late and i forgive Love for arriving       because Love arrived.

[georgiamorn]

shortage of purpose, hoarding importance, if the mean's out of stock I'll take more gulp down the excess, bloodbath in a nice dress if I cannot love, I'll adore oh my sweet angel darling, do not you fret death has a kind voice and has not called me yet and you'll be so brave when my sun starts to set and you will remember my love oh, what a relief it'll be to be free of this carcass, this puppet that bleeds hogtied in beautiful deeds buried beneath the idea of me tell me the truth, if you know it or else something nice'd be fine paint me in youth, no withholding my best, better clean than alive it's alright

[georgiamorn]

isabelle’s found him,  a new boy for loving snuck up like the sun through the rain  isabelle’s spouting fun facts all about him  he‘s nice and he’s kind and he waits  and it feels like something good  oh, god, we need something good  isabelle’s laughing, a first since the coffin  she buried the summer it rained   isabelle’s smiling  and she looks so darling,  it’s nice to see her this way  and it feels like something good  oh, god, we need something good 

[georgiamorn]

gutless girl, who tore you open?

scooping you clean, stripping sinew from

placid bone - whose teeth

scraped the barrel of your ribcage?

extricating the stomach

from your shudder-shrunken heart,

who lay you feverish and hollow?

and when expert fingers

strung sewing needles back through

all your favorite folds,

how did they know

where to stop?

[georgiamorn]

my sister gets results today  back from the mri  and i’m thinkin’ ‘bout bein’ five years old  watching her ride a bike  when she crashed into the mailbox, lay there bleedin’ on the drive  and i just ran around in circles, screamin’, “abby’s gonna die”  ooh, she even told me what to do  busted up and swellin’, she said,  “anna, go get help,” and then— ooh, what are we gonna do?  if the something’s really something,  do i run around in circles,  do i crumble to my knees  and beg for you?  my sister’s got a tumor  growin’ up inside her leg  the doc said it’s malignant,  gotta kill it till it’s dead she’s got a boyfriend and a game plan  and a million reasons why  she’ll do anything but let  her little sister see her cry  ooh, nobody told me what to do  when the person you would die for might just die with someone new  ooh, what are we gonna do?  cause the something’s really something,  and i’m running out of circles, and i’m running out of ways  to beg for you  i don’t wanna lose you  wish that you would take  another lap around the culdesac  another pump on your hand breaks  i don’t wanna lose you  wish that we could stay  another hour in the waiting room  another minute back in may  with you  oh, with you?  there’s not a thing on this earth  i wouldn’t do  for you  oh, for you?  there’s not a thing on this earth i wouldn’t do  not a thing on this earth i wouldn’t do  not a thing on this earth i wouldn’t do  but i never know what to do  you’re sick enough already  without being sick of me too  but i love you too much to  run away the way i wanna  every time i feel unwanted  nevermind, i’ll get a grip  i’ll stiffen my upper lip  i’ll take the hit and dig my heels in  next to you 

[georgiamorn]

oh i’m so sure that i’ll end up alone,  i've got loneliness baked into each of my bones  hardwired, i’m just a product of fate  no use in fighting, it’s just dna  oh, i just know when it’s all said and done  i’ll be clearing one placemat, eating for one  i’ll have my pick of the spoons and the stars  and when night touches down i’ll lie in my own arms  in my own arms  in my own oh i’m so sure that my future’s in stone  it's the heaviest rock that my fingers will know  stunted, this heart never learned how to lust body contented and soul ravenous  oh i just know this is all that there is  never enough but it’s all i can give  can’t stomach love, so settle for this too much of a good thing’ll just make you sick just make you sick oh, oh  tell me, tell me i’m wrong  oh, oh tell me, where i went wrong  oh i’m so scared that i’ll end up alone  but loneliness holds me and calls me its own  self-fulfilled sorrow; you are what you pray  a bed of destruction, but one that i made  oh i’m so scared to be more than i am  i never was one for drawing up plans  so a lone disappointment is all that i’ll be  leave your hopes at the doorstep and call when you need  call when you need 

[georgiamorn]

your heart made its bed  in my jaw, slept on molars and spit    and i spoke around that 'till the wind got me spooked and i bit  and when the blood flowed, we  both got out paintbrushes  i wish we were more than  a couple creatives  maybe then i’d know  how to talk about it  ‘stead of staining the canvas again  oh i wish that i’d written me  she’d have wings and be golden, be comfortable holdin' your hand, if i’d written me  she’d be smaller and wiser, nothing would surprise her, yeah wish that i’d written me  she’d have welcomed your love for  that unending summer  and if i had written me  could i have held tighter?  you’re the better writer,  tell me 

[georgiamorn]

if i didn’t love you  then i don’t love anyone  you were all that i had in me  if i’ll never know you then i won’t know anyone  you’re the thing that taught me how to bleed  and what do i do with it now?  what do i do with it now?  string up my senses,  i’ll lay me to rest,  i’ll dig through my lungs and build a moat  for the overflow  for the overflow 

[georgiamorn]

i miss you keenly  like a phantom limb  the weight of your hand against my palm  well, it settles beneath my ribs  i go to grasp it, the place where your love ought to be  but my fingers hit air, it was hurting, i swear, but i’m coming up empty  can you miss a thing you’ve never had?  cause i’d lose a limb to have you back  legs or lungs, love, take your pick  but my heart’s no longer mine to give  mm, hm  i mourn you early  like a tragic end  the stain of your words, bloodied with ink  well, it tears right through my page  i build a casket  in the shape of that day with you  you left me floating and reeling and pink  and then you left me  can you mourn a thing that's never lived?  cause a eulogy is on my lips  six feet over my head now  and i’m still looking for solid ground oh what i would give  to make an appearance  somewhere in the story of you  but your inkwell is overflowing  and if i sink, well, i guess i’ll be going  but it was a pleasure to be here  an honor to know you  give my regards to the hands that will hold you  can you love someone you’ll never know?  can you keep a thing you’ll never hold?  you are still my favorite fate  and i’m still sleeping in a grave  mm, hm

[georgiamorn]

i’ve never been in love  at least, not the kind that sticks  i’ve never wanted more  than what the best of friends can give  i’ve never spent a night  starved of poetry or bliss  i’ve never lacked anything  for all the days i’ve lived  (enough) (enough)  i’ve never spoken louder  than the tiptoe of a tongue  i’ve never yearned for less  than the best thing i could become  i’ve never wagered more  than a dollar and a lung  i’ve never needed anything  but love from everyone  (enough)  (enough)  i’ve never been in love  is what i tell people, at least  i’ve never known quite what  it is i should expect from me  i’ve never told a lie and i’ve never called my bluff i’ve never wanted anything  but enough, enough  enough  enough 

[georgiamorn]

my insides are bruising  my mind keeps reusing  the old hurts over and over again always end up reeling  can't swallow the feeling  that I never grow up in the end  inevitability my heart is beating me  i am the person i always will be  learning to love my enemies