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happy national coming out day from your friendly neighborhood buff lesbian!!!

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Time for a face to face Friday! Even though I started around 345lbs and I’ve lost roughly 109lbs, I didn’t keep track of my weight for a lot of that time and was pretty terrified of the scale and deleted many many photos…. I’m down to a 16 from a 24 and am now a medium/large down from a 2x/3x shirt. 86lbs left until I reach my goal of 150!

This month has been really hard. I was so determined to crack down on myself and do amazing but in reality it’s been my worst month for progress since I started committing back in March. I am on a new birth control to help with my endometriosis but it’s ended up giving me a month long period with lots of fatigue, food cravings and mood swings that have caused me to drink more than I normally have been.

I have kept one thing in mind for a lot of it— the reminder that one bad moment shouldn’t ruin it all. I can’t sabotage myself just because of a few hard weeks and I did have good days that I really stuck with eating right and exercising to combat the others and have been able to lose about 4lbs this month overall. The positive side is that even though I was up and down this week I stayed within 5lbs of my current weight and that the slowed weight loss has probably helped my skin elasticity.

Thank all of you for sticking with me! I am so grateful for my followers and the faith you have in me. I am hoping to get back to my cooking videos soon and to increase my productivity both here and on instagram!

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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rescue me

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Danielle Brooks, body positive queen, has an insightful story to share about what it’s like when you compare your body to other women’s

If you’ve ever given in to embarrassment in public locker rooms or let your self-esteem get knocked down a notch by looking enviously at people who seem to be in “perfect” shape, Danielle Brooks has an important message for you.

Gifs: daniebb3

WATCH THE VIDEO

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October Fitblr Roll Call

Reblog if you are still are apart of fitness community (yoga, athletes, weight lifting, weight loss, weight gain, runners, Pilates, body builders, etc.)

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alternative positive anxiety coping tools:

running - (my personal favorite/most successful for me) it gets my heart rate up through activity and peaks it in a different way than anxiety makes it, so after a nice long run my heart rate slows down, i’ve had a nice distraction and also some reflection time to think about whats been bothering me. i also feel pride in being active and that helps counteract the negative feelings that come with anxiety.

yoga - its a good way to relax your mind and your muscles, anxiety tends to cause a lot of tension and doing yoga helps loosen you up so you don’t have to deal with at least some of the physical symptoms. 

meditation

breathing techniques** - i starred this one because its something to take note of no matter what tool you’re using to calm down, slowing your breathing generally helps calm you down and helps counteract the catastrophic thinking and helps you to think more rationally, someone described it well: Sit in silence. Close your eyes. Take some slow deep deep breathes. Listen to your heart beat, and your breathing. Try to not concentrate on anything but your heart beats. Don’t let any bad thoughts enter your mind, if your mind wanders focus it back to monitoring your heart rate and your breathing. its also important to breath into your belly, not your chest!

doing chores or small tasks - helps you get shit done and gives you a sense of accomplishment

long hot bath - read a book, light a candle, make yourself comfortable!

listening to slow/relaxing music (someone said jazz is really helpful specifically)

make a list of the things bothering you - and then start writing solutions for them, getting your thoughts down on paper helps you realize them how they actually are and can help you come to a solution or approach more easily when you aren’t being bombarded with negative thoughts distracting you from finding a solution. only the words you’re writing are what you should focus on

take a nap - i know its usually hard to sleep with anxiety but if you can get some rest it usually helps with cooling down and getting through/avoiding the panic

5-4-3-2-1 -Take a deep breath. Name the basic shapes and colors of FIVE things you see (ex. red circle=stoplight). Close your eyes. Name FOUR things you feel touching you (I feel the chair under me, I feel the air from the fan.. etc.) Name THREE sounds you hear at the moment.Take two deep breaths. Name TWO scents in your environment. Take a deep breath. Name ONE thing you are grateful for/like about yourself. Exhale slowly. (this was said to help with especially with public attacks)

4/7/8 - breathe in for 4 seconds through your nose, then hold 7 seconds, then you blow all your air out from your mouth for 8 seconds. repeat this until your calm. you can also use it if you have trouble sleeping

a cup of hot tea

make art - don’t worry about being neat, be sloppy, be emotional get that anger or frustration or whatever feelings that are fueling that anxiety and put them into your gesture, throw paint on the canvas, scribble hard with the pen, really allow your emotion to be put into the art. it helps you relieve tension and also reflect and gives you something cool to look at after. it gets the feelings out of your head/chest and on to something else.

write down everything you’re feeling - don’t think, don’t plan, just write.

cook something hella yummy - the process helps gives you something to focus on, and gives you something good to eat by the time you’ve calmed yourself down

holding an ice cube in your hand - focus on the cold and nothing else, til it melts, let your anxiety melt with it

tense and release method - Tense your face for 10 seconds relax. then neck, then shoulders, then one arm, the other arm etc… when you’re tensing hold your breath. when it’s all done lay down/or do this laying down and at the end just allow your whole body to relax

sit down -  put your head between your knees, close your eyes, inhale through your nose to fill your lungs, hold for 10 seconds, exhale slowly while counting to 10 

brain stimulation - puzzles/crosswords/building something/sudoku etc

taking a string - (thread or a hoodie string anything) and wrapping it around your finger then unwinding it and wrapping it around the other finger helps  bc its so monotonous but easy to focus on

take a long warm shower - let the water wash the anxiety off of you

clenching and unclenching your fists

singing loudly

visualize the worst possible outcome - and how even in the worst turn of events there is always the next time the following day your world will not end regardless of what is to come there is always another opportunity another chance although circumstances change the potential remains the same your potential your ambition is undiminishable failure may be a lost battle but never a lost war

glitter jars - shake it, watch the glitter settle to the bottom, its calming to watch, repeat as many times as necessary

i compiled this list from personal experiences as well as tons of asks and advice from my followers. everyone has a different experience with anxiety, there’s no universal method or technique thats going to help everyone, but i will say controlling your breathing is something everyone should try and take note of or practice because it really does help alleviate a lot of the physical symptoms. these are not all of the possible methods or techniques just what either me or my friends and/or followers have found to help them. i hope this helps you guys as well. much love to all of you!!! you’re not alone with this!!

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