getmetothegoodplace

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hate going to the doctors with persistent debilitating symptoms and then then they call you with the results which is just like good news! your blood is red

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"birth control is evil and fucks up your hormones and is making women depressed" is incredibly funny to hear when you have PMDD. girl in my ~natural divine feminine state~ i wanna kill myself every 4 weeks

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canon

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Alexei: Which one of you was gonna tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water?

Bob: Y-

Bob: You were putting it in cold water?

Alexei:

Yelena: Alexei. Answer the question Alexei.

Alexei: Yeah? I thought for like five years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process, I didn't realize there was an actual reason.

Alexei: You think I have the patience to boil water?

Walker: You don't have the patience to microwave water for three minutes?

Yelena: Why are you... putting it in the microwave to boil it?

Walker: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Bucky: It takes less than a minute! How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?

Walker: Like seven minutes.

Yelena: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like two minutes. Less than that if you use a saucepan.

Walker: You're putting the whole mug on the stove? On medium heat? Your stove is enchanted.

Ava: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?

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just imagine bob getting kidnapped

Kidnapper, on the phone: I've kidnapped Bob. Bail will be €10000-".

Bucky: Oh no. DON'T HURT HIM. DO YOU HEAR ME??

Kidnapper: I won't hurt Bob if you pay the-

Bucky: Shut the fuck up BOB CAN YOU HEAR ME???? DO NOT HURT HIM!

Kidnapper, now sweating: what

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MORE thunderbolts tweets

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random thunderbolts headcanons but its annoying things

bucky: "doesnt want anything" and then stares at other ppls fries like a sad cat

john: asks for advice and gets genuinely upset when the rest give the advice he didnt want

yelena: doesnt use the last of ANYTHING (sheet of toilet paper, cookie from a pack) because she doesnt feel like changing it/throwing the packaging out

alexei: talks in movie theaters/during movie night

ava: does not pay back and waits until the rest just forgets

bob: spamtexts like fucking CRAZY

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I love the thought of the new avengers showing up in doomsday with bob in tow and everyone else being like

“who the fuck is that”

“bob”

“why is he here”

“he’s our friend”

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canon pt.2

will NEVER stop my everybody bullies john walker agenda im sorry

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another one thank you

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Here's a quick au idea that just came to me today:

In a modern au where Merlin is still waiting on Arthur, historians recently discovered a whole batch of legal documents from Arthur's reign. These documents detail many changes he made to the laws of Camelot, including the repeal of the magic ban (which the historians assumed was just a halt on witch hunts).

However, one thing that the historians note as strange were the large number of laws that only applied to the king's personal manservant, who was never mentioned by name in the documents. These laws range from oddly specific, such as 'the king's manservant shall not accompany knights to the tavern', to downright bizarre decrees that make no sense, like 'the king's manservant is hereby forbidden from pointing out stew in the king's hair.'

The historians' first guess was that perhaps King Arthur was going a bit mad in his later years, but they didn't find any other ludicrous laws besides the ones pertaining to his manservant, which then led the historians to question the identity of this manservant and his relationship to the king.

All of this culminates in a historical exhibit showcasing the documents and postulating on this mysterious manservant of king Arthur. Many scholars flock to the exhibit, eager to examine the documents and debate their meaning and impact within a historical context.

Which then leads to a very tired Dr. Merlin Emrys, a medieval history professor, being dragged by his colleagues to see the exhibit and having to stifle is laughter as these world-renowned scholars tear their hair out trying to understand what was essentially a prank war between him and Arthur.

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King Arthur; Why is everyone afraid of my servant? He’s as precious as a rose petal!

Meanwhile, Merlin, standing behind his throne staring down the court: Yeah, i’m precious

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I love that we, the Merlin fandom, collectively decided that Merlin's eyes glow gold whenever he uses magic in a fic while blatantly ignoring the screenwriters who said it was "just for the audience but it canonically doesn't happen". We decided that yes, yes it does, and it's beautiful.

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okay I know criticizing the pjo movies for bad characterization is like, just beating a long-dead horse, but in the beginning of SOM movie when they're competing on that spinning obstacle tower thing at camp and Percy's literally seconds away from victory but a different camper gets tangled in the ladder and calls for help so Percy gives up winning to save him... Percy would literally never in stakes as low as that <3 he would have been like "lol I win :) sucks to suck" HOWEVER watching Logan Lerman do a drop backflip roll thing down the side of the tower to Fall Out Boy's "My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark" was genuinely fucking cool so I'll allow it

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if you love downloading pdfs you are likely to never use again you have GOT to get into knitting