gettingbackto150

[gettingbackto150]

3/12/25

OK besides me opening and drinking half a Diet Coke without thinking on Monday, I have been doing well so far (ha! so far. 2 days basically). What I’ve done:

Downloaded the app “Lose It!” just to calorie count. It is easy to use and I like that it’s letting me see how my macros are divided up.

I have stuck with just water and coffee.

I have tried to not eat snacks after 8.

THOUGHTS ON DIET

I actually don’t seem to eat that much? The app budgets me 1,820 cal/day, and I haven’t really gotten close to it? You can see below my calories this week so far. Tuesday I got almost there because I ate 2 slices of banana bread, but besides that I actually don’t eat much at all? On one hand that seems good because it means I can keep up a calorie deficit. On the other, it seems a little worrisome. Like, is that the reason I get tired in the afternoon?

My macros are messed up. the internet says less saturated fats (natural fats are OK, but I know i’ve been eating saturated ones). Below is an outline of how my macros divide up. The internet recommends 30%Fat, 40%Carbs, 30%Protein. 

drinking water and coffee only has been surprisingly easy. I mean, just for 2 days so far, but historically I’d be wanting a juice or something. hopefully this isn’t me jinxing it.

I am realizing I think a lot of my calories were coming from me being hungry late at night and snacking. Trying to stick to an after 8 PM fast is annoying, but, and I may be crazy for this, it feels already like a very productive step.

it’s not really on any of the apps, and it’s not considered a macro, but I am also realizing I like high sugar foods (obviously, go figure). I remember back when I did the Whole 30 diet (that was crazy. I lost 2lbs/week, and I learned some valuable things about dieting – but it’s unsustainable and really wasn’t that enjoyable), the diet forbid any sugar that wasn’t from fruits. i’m not going to go that far, but I would like to limit the sugar I take in from non-natural sources. not going to one of my official goals yet, but just something to keep in mind when I’m choosing a snack or something.

BROADER THOUGHTS

I am curious as to the extent that my ADHD meds affect this whole process. They definitely lower my appetite, but they wear off by the afternoon and if I haven’t eaten that much, I’m suddenly starving. To offset this, I think I’m gonna try to do more small snacking on things like almonds. 

My stupid phone and my own wandering hands on the Tiktok Shop have made TikTok decide to show me every single ad for weight loss drinks/pills. However, all of these are not actually for weight loss. They are for digestive aid and help with bloating. So, they CAN make your stomach look flatter, but only if the non-flatness is a result of you being constipated or if you have lactose intolerance.

I wouldn’t be opposed to aid from weight loss, pills, or medication. Honestly, Ozempic seems like magic. Mom tried everything to lose weight, and she didn’t even eat badly! She just gave birth to two kids and was a stay at home mom for a while. But, with Ozempic, it was like the weight just melted off of her. My main hangup is I just don’t have a ton of money right now, and I’m waiting for them to clear my background check so I can start at my new job. I do have income from art commissions that (if they continued at this rate) I know would fund something like Ozempic. However, you can never count on art commissions to be consistent. In addition, at this stage of my life, living on my own, paying my own bills, that money is probably better spent in other places. 

On the topic of mom, I’m tempted to say our genetics are to hold on fat because big boobs run in this family. That’s the one upside of gaining weight is my boobs got bigger, and I think they’re perfect. Even my sister got measured at a double D, even though her breasts aren’t THAT big, because they ARE big relative to a teeny tiny size. I say holding weight might run in our family, but I have to acknowledge that my sister is a little stick. Of course, she was bulimic throughout most of middle school and a bit of early high school, but she’s a college grad now and still very skinny. But with a lovely shape and nice breasts.

On my sister, I don’t wanna say I’m jealous of her, because I’m not jealous of having an eating disorder. I know it was horrendous for her, and socially and mentally I think I’ve always had it easier than her. Less drama dnd less anguish growing up for SURE. However, I’m a little jealous of her personality, extrovert tendencies, and the way her hobbies differ from mine. If I was into going out and surfing and yoga, then I suspect that I’d have an easier time losing weight, looking more like her. instead, I had to fall into ART and VIDEO EDITING and BOOKS and ORGANIZING THINGS ON GOOGLE SHEETS as my hobbies. I absolutely adore sitting on one place for a long time and working on a project. I’m very sedentary.

Finally, I’m not sure how to bring up my attempted weight loss with my roommate or even if I should. While my sister is almost entirely recovered from her previous eating disorder, my roommate is not. She is binge eating instead of bulimia, but she has very strong and present triggers around food and the way food is talked about. even little things like me taking a bag of chips to my room, triggered her. And when she told me that, she was very clear that that was her problem and that I didn’t do anything wrong, but she just wanted to be honest with me about why she was acting a little off. but my main worry is if something as small as that can set her off then how would me intentionally buying different healthier foods affect her? It’s not as if we eat different things. We shopped together and we often cook dinner for two and eat together. I’ll think on this.

GOALS

Get more protein in my diet. Get less fat, specifically saturated fats. To do this, I want to invest in protein-rich snacks (almonds, edamame, pumpkin seeds, greek yogurt). I like all of those snacks so!

Wake up at 8 every morning (yes, daylight savings time just started, but MAN UP)

Start a bit of exercise. To do this, I want to walk the dog Sundays, Mondays, and Wednesdays. I am already at the parents’ house those days, so I might as well. The loop down to and around the middle school is 1 mile. We can start with that.

Morning routine. To do this, I want to do Contacts, Teeth, Facewash, Lotion, Deodorant. It’s 5 steps. Not too hard.