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[gettingreallyintobeatlesyaoi]

I love how ridiculously warm John would feel about the fact that Paul still loves him so much and sings with him at concerts and wanted to finish another song with him after all this time, and I love how John would kind of just feel it all behind his beautiful face, looking down, trying to be nonchalant about it.

The way that Paul loves John, so absolute and steady. The way that John didn't feel loveable like that, but craved it, but didn't recognise or trust it, and the way it was there and real anyway despite him. I don't know. I like that Paul is so relentless in loving him.

[gettingreallyintobeatlesyaoi]

every single time i get a mclennon yaoi notification i die a little more. cant you just like harry styles or some shit

i would rather make a million posts about how john lennon and paul mccartney fucked in those horrible beatles suits and hated eachother for years and years and fucked in paris and india and wrote all those songs together because they just couldn’t admit that they were fucking crazy about eachother than even think for one second about harry styles poor fucking imitation of camp, so commercialized and big brand and met gala-esque that it makes every single nyc spending 5k on rent 40k insta followers fashion page bitch’s eyes pop out of their dumb fucking aesthetic shaved head. harry styles could not have sex with a man, no matter how many 20 year olds on tik tok proudly proclaim that he’s sooooo queer coded and totally going to come out any day now. harry styles has never felt a single emotion in his life that has not been approved by a manager. paul mccartney fucks men for breakfast.

[gettingreallyintobeatlesyaoi]

rating paul mccartney's mullets:

hot-but-messy local lesbian. she'll show you a good time but will definitely break your heart. she's dated most of your friends group, but refuses to admit it. currently in a long-term relationship with a strong woman who has her totally whipped.

rating: 9.5/10. half-point deducted because she and her mommy gf keep teasing a threesome with you but have yet to act on it. (it's fine--they have a weird vibe anyway.)

he/him lesbian kingpin. sells the shittiest, most adulterated cocaine you can imagine. high chance you will end up dead in the trunk of his white convertible and buried in a shallow grave somewhere in rural nevada. has a vanity license plate and goes by a name that sounds fake (and is.) if convicted, would be in jail for longer than either of you would be alive.

rating: 4/10. terrifying, but the allure is understandable.

elementary school music teacher who gets WAY too serious about the yearly christmas concert-slash-sing-along. knows that half the faculty hates her at least a little bit, but doesn't know that the other half does too. is having an affair with the crunchy, granola, down-to-earth art teacher. (they'll be in a domestic partnership and own a dog by the end of the next school year.)

rating: 6.5/10. the earnest enthusiasm is admirable, but would be infuriating as a coworker. not for the faint of heart.

elegant soft-futch widowed grandmother. can and will tell the same stories of a wild youth over and over again, but you feel like a lot is being left out. you're starting to get the feeling there's a dark secret somewhere in your family, but you're too afraid to ask directly. absolutely DELIGHTED when you ask to borrow vintage clothes and jewelry--every piece has a story. loves to cook weird recipes that your parents make fun of behind her back. currently engaged in a suspicious relationship with her accountant.

rating: 11/10. still sexy after all these years.

[gettingreallyintobeatlesyaoi]

Day 5 of reading Beatles RPF

On our way back home by Kathleenishereagain || 5/56

Reading a chapter while my laundry gets dried (and hoping the dryer actually works today XD)

Though, first things first, I feel I should mention that thanks to @indiekidsupremacist and @the-bluebird-you-need, I now know that not only is there one Beatles movie, but multiple! I think I'll need to put time aside to watch them at some point. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When reading Beatles fanfiction, watch Beatles movies. For research purposes. Obviously.

In the meantime, I did think of something else I could do. A few songs have been mentioned in the fic so far, and it seems a little silly to go on like this without listening to their music. How can you understand why people are fans of a band without hearing what the band's most known for? So, I picked the first one the fic brought up, "I Feel Fine".

This was so fun. The song itself is great (and catchy. Yeah, that's going to be stuck in my head for a week.) And at one point in the music video, one of them (the comments say it's Ringo) just?? gets on a bike?? and stays on it the rest of the song?????? Brilliant, fantastic, no notes.

Anyway, we're here for fic, and I absolutely have to share this passage that made me look away from my phone for a minute and just absorb it.

He did not have anything to tell him that he actually could say, anyway. Sorry I was an absolute wanker to you. Sorry I didn’t try to talk to you sooner. That I didn’t make more effort to patch things up between us. Sorry you died. I miss you. I have missed you for almost 40 years and I will never stop missing you. Seeing you so young and clueless is more painful than you could ever imagine. Talking to you makes me want to scream. It makes my head turn with happy fireworks and my belly burn with grief. He could not say any of that.

Just. Holy shit. That struck hard and fast, and the rest of the chapter didn't pull any punches either. I'm a huge fan of time travel related angst, so it's like this was tailor-made for me. With every chapter, I'm drawn more and more in.

(I think I mentioned before that I started this blog on a whim, half-joking. Not disrespectful, I should hope, as I didn't want to come into a fandom I'm not a part of and make a mockery of someone's hard work. I'm genuine in my desire to experience this and understand what draws people to it (and I suspect, will become a fan myself in time), but I won't lie and say I didn't come into this with preconceived biases about RPF. Which, to be honest, was a little hypocritical of me. Don't laugh, but my side projects are mostly Supernatural fanfiction, and I can see how easily someone might approach that with the same feelings I did this, whereas I, on the inside and putting my heart into it, take it very seriously. So, solidarity there, I think. We are all weird guys on the internet writing heartfelt love letters to things that matter to us.)

It's still fascinating to me getting little crumbs of knowledge, some of them devastating, chapter by chapter. I expect someone fully immersed in the history of the band and each member would take these in stride, facts they already know well, but some of them really throw me for a loop. The one this chapter was a mention that Paul didn't go to his father's funeral, or couldn't go. It wasn't specified why, and it's a drop in the bucket of this chapter, but it stuck in my mind nonetheless.

Oh, and I have a solid grasp of the distance between London and Liverpool now. The fic said a trip between the two would take about four hours by car, and Google provided me the helpful number of 354 kilometers. (Or, in American, for me, 220 miles.) That's further than the distance I used to go to visit my Grandpa in Mississippi.

[gettingreallyintobeatlesyaoi]

love saying i’ve been getting really into mundane normal things as if they’re a new undiscovered hobby. been getting really into pudding cups lately.

[gettingreallyintobeatlesyaoi]

Day 4 of reading Beatles RPF

On our way back home by Kathleenishereagain || 4/56

Taking a break from recording a few podfics to read some Beatles fanfiction.

I've got two things to report with this chapter, and the I promise, I'll get out of your hair.

Number One: I'm realizing, very quickly, that I'm far too American for their location. Or, to be more clear, I have zero idea where the hell anything is. This hasn't been a problem, but this chapter made a point to mention a few locations. Such as Liverpool, where Paul's dad lives and where he went back to visit him.

(Brief side note, but I did find myself tearing up, just a little, at this. Maybe just at the notion itself, of going back and sitting in a long dead parent's kitchen, eating breakfast they made for you. That some things never really change, that they will always be your parent, even if, as Paul is, you're a time-traveling 77 year old.)

But, locations. There's a bit where Paul says he's in Liverpool, John says he's in London, and I, American, just sort of nodded along with zero idea what any of those names meant. I have no idea what the distance between those places is, but I should probably find out. Actually, having some kind of map might be useful for future chapters. I'll remember to bookmark one, so that I can reference any other locations they go to.

The second thing that stood out to me in this chapter was the contrast between Paul's ex-girlfriend (current girlfriend in 1965, but ex to him? Time travel shenanigans.), Jane, and John. The way he reacts to seeing both of them is so vastly different, despite by his own admission, both of them not being people he was on the best of terms with when he saw them last. (mentions Jane being his ex-fiance as well, so I imagine that went poorly. and obviously there's the fight with John that broke up their friendship for a long while.) He doesn't want to speak to Jane, can't bring himself to even say that he loves her back over a phone call, but upon even hearing John's name, he "perks up". It's a small thing, but as someone who has a hard time getting drawn into romantic narratives of any kind (and this is the Beatles yaoi page, so we'll be getting some kind of romance, god willing,) I enjoyed picking up on it.

(Oh! One last thing! There was a meeting at the beginning of the chapter, glossed over because Paul has more important things to worry about, but it briefly mentioned a "future movie". There's a Beatles movie??? The amount I don't know about these people...)

[gettingreallyintobeatlesyaoi]

Day 3 of reading Beatles RPF

On our way back home by Kathleenishereagain || 3/56

Late night Beatles fanfiction! (As a reward for completing this week’s projects on time for once, of course.)

This chapter, I think, is definitely starting a turning point in how I approach this project. I don’t know if you could tell from the blog name, but I’ve mostly been at this with a joking, if genuine, curiosity of what this kind of art would even look like. Of all the things people make fanfiction of, RPF is… the most controversial? I think that’s the word. It’s the butt of the joke a lot of the time, condensed down into conspiracy theory shippers and people getting sold to One Direction. And as someone who has never been that interested in RPF, I wanted to know what it might actually be like.

And so. Beatles. And this third chapter has me genuinely invested in what’s going to happen next with Paul. Particularly the end of it, this palpable grief for the life he’s already lived and seems like he’s going to have to live again.

“He could not live everything all over again. There had been good times, sure, incredible times even. But also terrible ones. Loneliness, grief, heartbreak. Boredom, anger, stress. Tensions and anxiety, depression even. He could not just re-live his whole life, he would go insane.”

That’s the line where I officially went, okay, I’m here for this now, completely. Let’s see where this train takes me.

And in the recounting of his life, I’ve learned a few more things about the Beatles. Smaller details, such as him mentioning two names, Linda and Heather, as women he had children with. (Ex-wives? Or children out of wedlock? It’s probably not going to be super important in the context of the fic, but in the context of me slowly piecing together Beatles lore without actually looking anything up, well. Let’s just say their names are going into the notes.)

But also something a little more shocking. Namely, how exactly John died, or will die. This fact is recounted alongside other historical events as a tragedy Paul doesn’t want to live through again, so I’m taking it as fact. For once, my lack of Beatles knowledge feels less like a fun gimmick and more like I’m almost being disrespectful? Like I should know at least that a man was murdered. Would it be more meaningful, more respectful, if I’d picked that knowledge from a Wikipedia page than a fanfiction?

There’s definitely a wider discussion to be had there, about public figures and how we mourn them. I won’t speak for the fic author’s intentions, but in a way, the premise of this fic, “Paul goes back in time, before it all went bad” is wish fulfillment, right? A way of keeping the grief from ever being necessary, preventing the tragedy and giving a man who means a lot a happier ending? I guess, all that to say, I’m having complicated feelings about all of this, but that’s okay. I’m enjoying untangling them.

I really wish this didn’t end on such a dour note, sorry about that. I guess we’re getting a little emotional and philosophical here at gettingreallyintobeatlesyaoi.

[gettingreallyintobeatlesyaoi]

Day 2 of reading Beatles RPF

On our way back home by Kathleenishereagain || 2/56

I read this chapter while on my lunch break.

I'm realizing now that, given the length of this fic, a good portion of this blog is just going to be me reacting to this specific fic rather than a variety of Beatles fanfiction. This would probably bother me, except that A) this is a blog about Beatles yaoi and not a scientific experiment. (We weren't even approved by the board of ethics.) and B) I'm genuinely? invested? in this fic now?

I think a story about time travel was the best possible option for me to start with, because I am just as confused as Paul McCartney is as he journeys through his past life. Sure, he's got the names and some vague recollection, but I've got... uh. Well, I've been taking notes. I learned some new things this chapter.

First of all, remember how we know that John, the guy Paul will be doing the yaoi with in this fic, is dead? In the future, anyway. This chapter revealed to me that before his death, Paul and John got into some sort of blowout fight and only barely reconciled before John died. Now, this alone would probably have gotten me invested in this fic. I love time travel stories about regretting the life you never lived with someone, but at the same time, those hints being sprinkled throughout that going back in time doesn't get you them back, just a certain version of them. Is that enough? I don't think it would be for me, but what matters is, is it enough for Paul? He's still in denial he won't go back to 2019, so there's also that.

(Time is a strange thing here. This fic sends the Paul of 2019 back to 1965. As far as I can tell, Paul McCartney is still alive here in 2023 as well. And me, I was born in 2002, 40 odd years removed from the time this fic takes place. Paul's unfamiliarity with the past he must now live in gels well with my own.)

As a side note, the chapter ended focusing on Paul McCartney looking at himself in the mirror, amazed at his own youth, and I realized that I don't think I've ever really looked at a picture of any Beatles. There's a vague image of them in my head, but nothing concrete. Here is a picture of Paul McCartney I have just found, so that you may experience in real time what seeing his face is like with me.

He looks like a YouTuber.

[gettingreallyintobeatlesyaoi]

Day 1 of reading Beatles RPF

On our way back home by Kathleenishereagain || 1/56

I feel like I should lay out first what I know about the Beatles. 1. They were a band in the olden days, around the 60s, I think? 2. Some of them are dead now. Some of them are not. 3. British(?) 4. Yellow Submarines.

And so, on this first day of my Beatles RPF adventure, I'm beginning with the most kudosed Beatles fic on AO3. Seemed like a good place to start. People have to like it for a reason, right? It seems to be a time travel fic where Paul McCartney (one of the alive Beatles) goes back to 1965 and. I guess he's going to do Beatles things.

It is also tagged "Paul McCartney/John Lennon", fulfilling the Beatles Yaoi part of the "getting really into Beatles yaoi" prophecy. John is one of the dead Beatles, and I know this because time-traveling Paul gets very stressed when he sees 1965 John Lennon. I've also learned that the other two Beatles are named George Harrison and Ringo Starr (and judging by how Paul reacts to seeing young Ringo, I think he's one of the alive ones as well.)

Other important things I've deduced about real life Beatles lore that will be important for reading future Beatles RPF: Paul has a wife named Nancy and a daughter named Beatrice. He was 77 in 2019, which means that in 1965, he was 23 (I think.) There is someone called Brian Epstein, who is not a Beatles but is probably important, and another guy named Neil who I know even less about than Brian. They are in England, at least in 1965.

All in all, a good chapter. I can't say I'm looking forward to chapter 2, exactly, but I'm sure that one day, I'll understand everything there is to know about Beatles yaoi.