ghost-of-marianos

[ghost-of-marianos]

How I Teach Men Not To Talk Over Me: from one feminist to another, when basic respect is lagging and conversations are impossible

I’ve done this to several men, and they catch on rather quickly. You’ll be able to have a conversation right then and there, and it works long term too - they might’ve forgot their manners by the time you talk to them again, but by repeating this, they’ll eventually learn to let you talk without you having to do this at the start of every convo. Source: I have a very stubborn older brother, who eventually learned too.

1. When they interrupt you, stop talking. Don’t try to raise your voice or battle them. Be completely quiet and wait.

2. Ignore everything they’re saying. Do not actually listen - just wait until they shut up. Don’t make a point of anything they say, do not answer to anything they say, do not refer to anything they say here. Literally do not listen a single word. Let them rant as long as they want.

3. When they finally shut up and wait for your reaction, say: ”I wasn’t done talking.”

4. Start over whatever you were saying when they interrupted you. I don’t care if it was a 10-minute explanation of rocket science. Start. Over. Repeat you original thought, but do not add anything related to what they just said while talking over you. That gives them the idea that it’s okay to interrupt you, you’ll still listen and pay attention and they’ll get their point clear without having to listen to yours. (It’s especially funny when you get done and they expect you to keep going talking about whatever they talked over you. The face when it sinks in that you didn’t listen a single word is glorious.)

5. If they interrupt you again, return to step 1. If you find yourself repeating the cycle over 3 times, tell them: ”you’re not letting me speak. Either you listen and wait for your turn, or our conversation ends here.” If they try to make excuses, laugh it off or keep interrupting, end the conversation. Prove them that if they wont let you speak, they’re not worth your time.

Why does this work? First, because sometimes talking over is internalized and men don’t actually notice they’re doing it. Being vocally called out makes them realize it and pay attention to it - especially if it happens more than once. Secondly, by refusing to aknowledge anything they say when they interrupt you, they’ll soon realize they will not get their own point across if they keep doing that. Peoole and especially men have the need to be heard and paid attention to when they talk - when you make it clear that by talking over you, they will not have your attention, they’ll learn to wait until you’re done, because they know that’s when you will be paying attention and actually listening.

Go my darlings. Have some actual conversations where your point of view is just as valid as his. Demand the basic respect of being heard. You can actually have some interesting conversations with men when they’re forced to listen too, when being louder is not going to make them feel like they’re dominating the conversation or winning the argument.

[ghost-of-marianos]

Radclub Library

Andrea Dworkin, Our Blood

Andrea Dworkin, Woman Hating

Andrea Dworkin, Intercourse

Andrea Dworkin, Letters from a War Zone

Andrea Dworkin, Life and Death

Andrea Dworkin, Pornography, Men Possessing Women

Andrea Dworkin, Right Wing Women

Angela Davis, Are Prisons Obsolete

Angela Davis, Beyond the Frame, Women of Color and Visual Representation

Audre Lorde, Zami, Sister Outsider Undersong

Catharine A. MacKinnon et Andrea Dworkin, In Harm’s Way, the Pornography Civil Rights Hearings

Catharine A. MacKinnon, Feminism Unmodified, Discourses on Life and Law

Catharine A. MacKinnon, Only Words

Catharine A. MacKinnon, Points Against Postmodernism  

Bell Hooks, Ain’t I a Woman?

Janice G. Raymond & Donna M. Hughes, Sex Trafficking of Women in the United States

Sheila Jeffreys, Beauty and Misogyny

[ghost-of-marianos]

Humans aren’t even born fully developed–our SKULLS aren’t even fully knitted together at birth!–and people want to believe we come preprogrammed with a gender?

Spare me.

[ghost-of-marianos]

this one?

wondering how do you feel about men following you ?

Where is that one Mads Mikkelsen video when you need it

[ghost-of-marianos]

why are they always army vets

what a beautiful day to remember that "feminist" blogger Charles Clymer was run off the internet in pre MeToo scandal 8 years ago, but has somehow wormed a way back into content as "Charlotte Clymer"

[ghost-of-marianos]

just say you hate polyamorous people and go

i hate polyamorous people

[ghost-of-marianos]

And Then We Danced (2019) Directed by Levan Akin

Cinematography by Lisabi Fridell

[ghost-of-marianos]

People with uteruses turns to birthing bodies which turns to bleeders. It's dehumanizing. It's like talking about an animal. Which isn't good when we are trying to prove we are actual people.

But dehumanizing trans people is A okay? Because if you insist on using the word women, that’s what you’re doing. It’s a term that’s being used to refer to us, so we get a say too. There’s a significant semantic difference between “people with uteruses” vs “birthing bodies” vs “bleeders” because the first one has the word people in it.

[ghost-of-marianos]

this has got to be the WORST image I have ever seen

[ghost-of-marianos]

"It's like Cookie Run but more killing" - my 7 year old niece

[ghost-of-marianos]

im not even joking rn this fucking painting made me start uncontrollably sobbing. Do you know how long it took to paint? How expensive it was? The cat was content for hours and so loved that the girl held him there and paid for him to be painted with her. Imagine having such a bond… imagine being so loved and loving so much back…

[ghost-of-marianos]

unfriendly reminder that if you say "trans rights!" and then go onto say with your whole chest that abortion and repro care is a women's issue you've immediately lost your trans ally status. i don't care anymore, completely revoked. you're either malicious and a danger or so ignorant you're unreliable. i'm done. my brothers and my siblings have suffered and died because of this. stand with us or get out of our faces. i am BEGGING yall to think more than two seconds about what you're saying.

[ghost-of-marianos]

An interesting take on AGP I feel like I haven’t seen discussed before. It definitely has some merit, particularly with the “failed male“ type of AGP where they are very clearly trying to escape the aspects of societal manhood they are unable to live up to. Anyone who’s dealt with an AGP in their lives can also relate to the progression, from “it’s just on the weekends“ to “well maybe I’m nonbinary but I don’t want hormones or surgery“ to “I’m a woman now“ to “give me every possible medical intervention“. I am curious about what affects the speed of the addiction’s progression– I’ve seen both the slow approach and the rapid “getting hormones a week after first consideration“ approach.

Original from here

[ghost-of-marianos]

mothers, specifically mothers, are at the center of feminism.

gerda lerner, in her book “the creation of patriarchy”, puts the inception of patriarchy at the historical moment we understood that sex led to pregnancy. prior to that, women were thought to get pregnant spontaneously, by the will of the gods. we were holy and mysterious life-giving vessels. our fertility was worshipped.

once men discovered their inseminating role in reproduction, the utility of female prisoners of war became clear. neighboring peoples could be attacked, conquered, the men and boys could be slaughtered and the women and girls raped and enslaved. and once these women and girls were impregnated, they became very easy for their captors to control. simply promise her that she will be allowed to keep her children, that her children will not be harmed, and you can make a mother do whatever you want her to do. women became chattel property. women’s role in the creation of the human race was minimized and devalued, to justify men ripping her power over her own bodily functions away from her. the old religions were usurped by judeo-islamic-christian belief systems that invested males alone with divine creativity.

patriarchy does not mean rule by men, it means “rule by the father”. “radical” feminists believe that the violent seizure and exploitation of female reproductive capacity is the “radix” of patriarchy.

if we do not center mothers in our feminist agenda, we are as lost as the anti-feminists who insist that some men are women or who consider women’s bodies state property. they are the most vulnerable out of any of us. us childfree ladies have an enormous stake in the fate of mothers: even the imperfect ones, even the mean ones, even the anti-feminist ones.

happy mothers day, sisters.

[ghost-of-marianos]

[ghost-of-marianos]

What's a psyop?

Good question! Psyop stands for psychological operation and it is something the CIA does. Here's the Wikipedia article explaining what it is in more depth.

Now you might think, how is that relevant to feminism or your own life?

Well, the CIA doesn't just do psyops in other countries, they do them here in the USA as well.

Post modernism, which is the whole idea that everyone has such a unique experience you can't group people together in a class consciousness, was created by this guy, Foucault. He was a pedo who promoted the idea that not only is gender a social construct, but so is age, and morality. And the CIA loved his ideas!

Because back in the 60s and 70s, you had this big Civil Rights movement where people were gaining class consciousness and forming solidarity movements based on material conditions and Marxist analysis. Radical feminism came from this!

Radical feminist ideas were promoted in universities back then. Mary Daly taught at Boston College, Dworkin's work was being read in women's studies classes. Feminists at the time were growing out their leg hair and burning bras. They called feminists "women's libbers" because everyone knew the goal of feminism was liberation from patriarchy, not a watered down "equality."

Now, of course, this is BAD for the people in power. How could they stop this?

So the CIA promoted Foucault's post modernist ideals of individuals over the collective in universities.

They did this with the express purpose of dividing the left wing and killing class consciousness. They did it to kill solidarity, kill unity, the thing that really threatens the order of the world.

Marx, Lenin, they all said that there can be no revolution without women. Women are 50% of the population and our oppression is the oldest. Q Theory was born from post modernism, relies on it. The trans movement is a direct product of that.

[ghost-of-marianos]

Vanessa Stockard – Kevin series.