ghostblackberry - Tumblr blog

[ghostblackberry]

My therapist, God bless him, thinks I'm putting too much in sharing the stories of Palestinians on TikTok. He is probably right, especially since I'm only living on $500 a month right now, but my sense of justice can't figure out how to say no.

[ghostblackberry]

Hello friends! starting this off by saying I appreciate the gift, but if you're going to send me something not on my wish list, please message me first.

Somehow I ended up with an ice maker today. I'm a little freaked out. I've been sent things as a method of harassment before.

There's no note, and nothing in my email or phone history about it. The only reason I'm worried that this is a form of harassment is that it is green. And the people that were harassing me the last time were all using green items.

I hope you mean well, but don't do it again

[ghostblackberry]

did you get what I sent you

The ice maker I'm guessing because that's the only thing that's arrived in the past couple days.

Yes. Who are you? I have a history of of being harassed including people sending me things that aren't on my wish list. This is a little creepy. Just so you know, probably going to try to give it to a friend

[ghostblackberry]

[ghostblackberry]

Just some random facts about me, idk

I feel like talking about myself for a moment so here's a thread where I'm going to occasionally put random stuff about me:

I take my coffee iced with a little bit of creamer and vanilla or whatever fruit flavored syrup I can find. I prefer light roast

I like chopsticks! For whatever reason they're easier for me to use

I'm not supposed to eat chocolate or alliums (onions, garlic, and the like). I don't care. My head and tummy hate me

I'm only left handed because I have childhood ligament damage in my right hand

[ghostblackberry]

Thinking about Kent from Stardew Valley, I've often wondered why basically all he talks about to you is about his trauma. Like that's fine I guess but I've casually wondered why it's pretty much the only thing he ever talks about to you.

But it just occurred to me that Sam, Vincent, and Jodi note that he doesn't tell them what's wrong. It's surprising to Jodi that he hates the sound of popcorn, Vincent and Sam both note that he's different but they don't know why, he goes to festivals even though crowds and open fields trigger him.

He's trying very badly to hide it but he needs to talk about it. And the farmer has no preexisting ideas about him. Depending on how long he's been gone this time, you may be the only person in town that didn't know him before he went to the front lines. He's trauma dumping to you and only you because he has no idea to live up to in your mind. You're a blank slate. A new relationship. He doesn't have to pretend to be strong around you. He can just be miserable in your presence and you let him and give him roasted hazelnuts sometimes and roasted hazelnuts remind him of his mom and that's basically what your relationship boils down to. You're the person that will stand next to the river with him and go "Damn dude that sucks do you want an egg"

[ghostblackberry]

[ghostblackberry]

How does tumblr feel about Primrose

[ghostblackberry]

I'm back, probably. Still a little dysregulated, but feeling better. Paying rent early tomorrow thanks to crowdfunding so I can reach out to my doctor about whether or not I need to go to the mental health center.

[ghostblackberry]

Pinap Berry

[ghostblackberry]

[ghostblackberry]

I am completely dysregulated right now and going to uninstall a bunch of apps my own sense of safety. I'm not sure when I'll feel okay again. Between the policy change, the amount of media about Palestinian genocide i'm consuming, and the general bullshit, I can feel my coping skills slipping.

Feel free to share whatever you want from my crowdfunding posts and I'll try to keep an eye private messages, but the easiest way to reach me will probably be discord or my phone number if you have it.

Love y'all.

[ghostblackberry]

I don't know which of you needs to hear this but "narc" is not short for "narcissist" when someone calls you a "narc" for snitching they are calling you a "narcotics officer"

[ghostblackberry]

I'm not sure how long it'll take to process but I resigned from the LDS Church finally, which means the YSA Woes tag is retired! Instead of getting excommunicated, aging out, or getting married, I gave up! For once, I'm incredibly proud myself. Most of it was a form letter but I added this.

To add a more personal note, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is near to my heart but I cannot stand by while a minority group I belong to is treated as second class members, or not allowed to join the Church at all. I do not see Christ's in the actions of high levels of leadership. I cannot and will never put the teachings of Latter-day Prophets above the teachings of our Savior. Due to the continued refusal of Church leaders to comfort and mourn with transgender people, the rest of the LGBTQIA community, and their allies, I consider the covenant I made with the Church broken and invalid. I also have a deep discomfort with the Church's connection to the Republican party, so-called "religious right", and white Christian nationalism. I truly believe the Church is beyond saving.

And now, for below the cut, what I wish I could have said.

Fuck you, mainstream Mormonism. You could have been great and overcame your shady as fuck beginnings and instead you cozied up to Evangelical Christianity. Fuck you and the years you took from my confidence and self respect. And Fuck you in particular President Oaks. I will never forget the moment I met you and you literally turned your back to me the second I said I was transgender. I hope you die soon and policies change for the better, if only for the sake of those who choose to stay or cannot leave. I will never come back. Fuck it all.

[ghostblackberry]

Whenever I see a queer invalidate another queer's relationship with god, I just get disappointed. "We need more complex queers!" You can't even handle religious queer people.

[ghostblackberry]

Hozier isn't "cottagecore", there's just a bunch of cottagecore twerps with a weird fetish for Irish people and the media literacy of a sponge who think he's some sort of emo leprechaun and have never understood a single thing he's ever written.