ghostcrustacean - Tumblr blog

[ghostcrustacean]

podcast character body pillow

[ghostcrustacean]

It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied "i don't know i've never heard these words in that order" and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn't even that funny

[ghostcrustacean]

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

[ghostcrustacean]

we used to get prescribed a summer on the seaside. now we just get told to go touch grass. the economy is in shambles

[ghostcrustacean]

i bet being a fish whips ass. smooth and wet as fuck. well except for the bears

[ghostcrustacean]

Plenty of highly intelligent people end up getting sucked in to cults because they just wanted people to hang out with. There are antivaxxer nurses. Your ability to act on empirical reason breaks down fast if your social and emotional needs aren't being met.

[ghostcrustacean]

if yr doing a final girl in yr horror movie YOU NEED TO KILL HER BOYFRIEND that's the absolute rule

[ghostcrustacean]

saw a grown woman on tiktok snidely calling gen z the christopher columbus generation bc someone’s fifteen year old son ‘thought he’d discovered weezer’. newsflash every generation finds out about the music of the previous generation at some point it comes free with being fifteen. being annoying about music also comes free with being fifteen. a kid saying yeah i’ve just found this band nirvana have you ever heard of them should be a thing of joy

[ghostcrustacean]

[ghostcrustacean]

Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

[ghostcrustacean]

eminem is trans masc to some, trans fem to others, and an enemy to all

[ghostcrustacean]

If people were too mean to you when you were growing up, a newborn animal will materialize inside your brain and it’s so so scared and shivering and it will stay there for years. Decades, even. And whenever you say something kind of weird but true to your heart the animal will tell you “Noo! You can’t say that! If you say that, everyone will hate you!”. The animal means well. It’s so so small and everything is so scary for them and it’s just trying to protect you. But listen to me. Listen to me. Whenever this happens, you can’t do what the animal says. You can’t. If you do, you’ll become as scared as the animal. You have to keep saying weird shit. You have to keep doing things the animal wouldn’t approve of. If you do enough things that scare the animal, maybe one day it’ll go to sleep.

[ghostcrustacean]

The US military emitted 640 times as much CO2 as Taylor Swift last year

[ghostcrustacean]

Bro, you ok? Bro, humans aren’t separate from the ecosystems around us. We’re a part of them, bro. Bro, we’re never going to have absolutely zero effect on ecosystems, because we live here, bro. Bro, I never said it had to be a bad effect. We don’t have to immediately be perfect either, bro, sometimes doing what you can is what you can, and its way better than nothing. Bro what do you mean humans are a plague. You’re starting to sound a bit like an ecofascist, bro… Bro?

[ghostcrustacean]

[ghostcrustacean]

“I don’t care about dumb weed jokes,” I said naively, before I saw this

[ghostcrustacean]