ghostsofmalenia

[ghostsofmalenia]

might remake w different colours soon 🧡 caleb wallpaper

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zayne wallpaper ❄️ making caleb then sylus next

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i’m addicted to this app again

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did i eat

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hehehehehehehehe first try

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trying to build up the strength to post smut as a virgin

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ily caleb happy birthday

I’d love to spend all my birthdays with you. 🍎🍏

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Move Xav, it’s my turn🗣️

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read this a LONGGG time ago and was reminded of it today

Midnight Ride

jean kirstein x reader 18+ warnings: late 1800s misogyny, angsty pining, mentions of virginity, mentions of alcoholism, unwanted advances/assault by minor character, explicit gun violence, blood, explicit sexual content, intercrural sex, breeding wc: 16k+ a/n: Insert every horseface joke ever. This was written for the Western collab by The Smut Pile server, and you should make sure to check out everyone’s wild west pieces on the masterlist here.

It’s windy outside today, occasional gusts blowing clouds of dirt into the air before it settles back onto the grass and the wildflowers that grow in the pasture on the other side of the corral. False sunflowers and milkweed bend at the stems before straightening again, reaching up toward the blazing late-spring sun. You watch them out the window, staring through the glass as your mama sits behind you, brushing and braiding your hair in a halo around your head. You sigh, impatient at the time it takes her to create the intricate crown that pulls at your scalp when you’d rather just twist it all to one side and be done with it.

She hums as her fingers cross and pull, and she explains the unfamiliar patterns so that you can pass them along to your own daughters someday. When she finally reaches the ends of your hair, she takes a ribbon and ties off the braid at the nape of your neck, tucking any flyaways under. “So pretty,” she muses, more to herself than you. “I wager any man would think the same.” Then she sighs. “Well, not too pretty I hope. Your Pa should be back soon with the new ranch hands he hired. Hopefully they’re well-behaved. Wear one of your plain dresses.”

Keep reading

[ghostsofmalenia]

[ghostsofmalenia]

♡ — caleb, zayne, sylus, rafayel, xavier. ♡ — 'i miss you' voicemails. ♡ — no warnings.

— 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐛。[ 2:45 am. ]

hey. it's me.

i, uh… i know you're sleeping. that's good. i hope it's good. i hope it's peaceful, like you deserve..like the world doesn't have it's claws in someone for once.

i'm still awake. been pacing a little. thought if i sat still long enough it would go away, this feeling in my chest like something's breaking loose, like i left a part of me somewhere and i can't seem to figure out how to get it back. it's stupid. you're not even far. but gods, it feels like miles.. like you're on the other side of the world and i'm talking into a void.

i don't know why it scares me this much. missing you. maybe because it's the first thing that's felt real in a long time. i keep thinking.. what if you don't come back? not because you wouldn't, just… what if something happens? what if i don't get to see you smile again.. or hear you tell me i'm being ridiculous, or fall asleep with your fingers brushing mine like it's nothing?

it's not nothing. you're not nothing. you're everything i was too scared to want until now. and i.. i can't lose you. not even the idea of you. please come back. please be okay. please let me have one more day of this. of you.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

— 𝐳𝐚𝐲𝐧𝐞。[ 5:15 am. ]

you're not gonna hear this. you're gonna delete it. or worse, you might listen to it. you always listen, don't you?

i keep checking the door like an idiot. like you're gonna walk through it and say some sarcastic shit to keep me from falling apart.

i miss you. it's pathetic. i miss the way you shove me when i'm being dramatic. the way you look at me like i'm not someone you chose by mistake. like i could be worth staying for.

i didn't think i could miss someone this bad without losing parts of myself. i feel like i'm unraveling. my skin doesn't fit without your hands on me to remind me i'm still here. you keep me here. do you even know that? you breathe and i believe in tomorrow will still arrive.

you make it safe to hope and that terrifies me. if something happens.. if you don't come back.. just… remember i meant it. every word. every touch. i don't say things i don't mean, and you.. you're the one thing i meant more than anything. don't make me learn how to breathe without you. please.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

— 𝐬𝐲𝐥𝐮𝐬。[ 1:24 am. ]

you didn't answer…good. just listen.

i'm pacing. again. third night in a row. thought i'd break the habit, but no, still here. still in the same goddamn chair, staring at the same cracks in the wall and wondering if you're warm enough. if you remembered to eat, if you thought of me. how often do you think of me..?

i miss you in ways i can't say out loud when the lights are on. i miss you like hunger, like pain, like fucking worship. you ruined me. do you get that? you came into my life and ripped it open and now nothing fits without you. i sleep on your side of the bed. i drink from your mug.

i still fold your laundry like you'll walk in and roll your eyes at me for doing it wrong, because i always do. you know i do that on purpose, right?

i keep hearing your voice. not in the way people say, like 'oh, i miss the sound'. i mean i hear you. in the emptiness. in my head, narrating my thoughts. in the spaces between songs where silence should be. you echo in me.

if i lose you, i don't come back from it. don't make me live like that. please. come home.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

— 𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐥。[ 3:52 am. ]

it's late.

i tried to write. i tried to paint. i tried to drink tea and read the book you left on the nightstand, the one with the folded corner and your ugly sticky notes.. but none of it worked. because none of it has you.

i miss you like a tide misses the moon. how a heart misses rhythm. i ache with it. the world is too still without your laughter, too sharp without your softness.. and i'm scared, love.

i'm scared i'll forget the exact way you feel under my hands or the pattern of your breath in sleep.. the way you say my name like you mean it.

i would tear open the sky to find you again. i would burn down every beautiful thing if it meant hearing you hum off key in the morning.

i don't care if it's selfish. i want you. i need you. come back. please.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

— 𝐱𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐫。[ 10:03 pm. ]

hey.

you ever notice how empty a place is when the person you love isn't in it? i didn't. not until tonight. not until i walked into the apartment and didn't hear you muttering about something.

i didn't see your shoes kicked somewhere on the floor.. or feel your arms wrap around me before i could even hang my coat.

it's quiet. too quiet. like the world's trying to teach me what it would be like if i lost you. and i can't.. i don't want to live in a world where your laugh is past tense. where the warmth in your pillowcase fades and never comes back.

i can't kiss your forehead and tell you you're enough.. even when you don't believe it. especially when you don't believe it.

i miss you so much it's making me shake. i miss you like there's something missing in me. please… don't stay gone too long. i'm not built for this kind of silence.

[ghostsofmalenia]

at the beach.. thinking about sea god rafayel rn…

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my worlds colliding

Sylus and MC if they were Padmé and Anakin

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he would find this hilarious i fear (my aunt sent me this)

8:53 AM - Caleb is scrolling through social media to find a nice "good morning" meme to send you

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CalebMcWeek Day 3: Pirate x Merfolk

I’ll come back to this one after the event and color it 🙂‍↕️

[ghostsofmalenia]

LADS x lana del rey songs

content: slightly nsfw, it's just headcanons, most of them are just a little sad

a/n: this is my first post on this account! i'm a huge lana fan (like seriously), so this post is kind of just thought vomiting about the love interests, who i love equally btw before i get any accusations. anyways if yous enjoy this, lmk and i will gladly make a part 2! i could do an unreleased tracks version asw, i have a couple in mind.

SYLUS

honeymoon

this feels slightly obviously. the lyrical themes relating to his second life in the criminal world, the danger of his work, his power, combined with the soft, gentle instruments throughout the album. every day in this relationship feels like you’re newlyweds, no matter how little or how long you’ve been together. title track can be seen as explicitly sylus— a mysterious, dangerous man, with enemies, but still a complete enigma.

burning desire

cruising on his bike, passion, fire, this is sylus. trying to reach him on a deeper level, and he knows, it’s the heat of the city.

religion

also feels like a given. when you’re with him, he’s your world. and everything revolves and him. but it’s the same for him, everything is just about you, every song, every weather, every feeling.

ZAYNE

chemtrails over the country club

this soft, gentle affection that you get with him after a long day. reminiscing on when you were really young and would play together— this song does also give that, they loved each other as children, drifted only to come back so strong.. energy. and it’s a simple love sometimes like this, talking and laughing, and it’s just a moment of peace despite your chaos filled lives— you find each other.

pretty when you cry

lyrically, it’s not exact— but… just hear me out, this is just how it feels to be desperate for him, waiting for him to come home after a late night, or HIM waiting for you… and he keeps such a relaxed, indifferent face before he leaves, that’s not how he was acting when he was on top of you 10 minutes ago! when he was calling you his pretty girl, wiping the tears from your face. and sometimes after waiting, and waiting for him, he messages to say it’ll be another few hours. oh. my god. you’ll wait, for him, you would wait, because no one does it like he can.

let me love you like a woman

let’s travel the farthest distances for each other, let’s cross fucking skies and oceans just to hold each other. you and him together is just pure perfection. and i bet his words would sweep you off your damn feet.

RAFAYEL

13 beaches

okay, you are his love across LIFETIMES, over centuries. you exist in this ballroom of his mind, every time raf has to wait for you to reincarnate.. he goes to one of these safe places, an empty beach, where he can dance with you again in his own peace. and it hurts to have to wait for you, but this is just how it has to be, because he aches and yearns for the love you have together.

freak

FLAMES so hot that they turn blue… you’re his muse, and your time together is infinite, energising, electric. yall freaks

the next best american record

70s in spirit 90s in his state of mind. ugh, you guys just make each other. his art is all for you, about you, he will always end up back in your arms. also ‘something that i never knew i wanted’ babe it’s him you lost your past life memories again!

XAVIER

music to watch boys to

this one is mostly off of vibes. some of the lyrics i feel match his royal background, the song sounds luxurious and fabulous but honestly? it’s so relaxing it puts me to sleep. ik xavier is a freak too but mcs love with him reminds me of like just softly being together, listening to music and holding each other like you’ll never get a chance to ever again.

without you

all my dreams and all the lights mean nothing without you… 💔 your love is deadly.. i’m sobbing to this song with xavier. just everything.. it’s so him, this desperate yearning…

say yes to heaven

again, same as first.. just this relaxing tone, this eternal patience that xavier has, he’ll be there, waiting for you. all he can hope is that you keep choosing him.

CALEB

dark paradise

sigh. this one feels like he’s JUST exploded. it’s like you can feel his presence near your body, all around you. you know you have to be strong, but you can’t help but dream of him every night, and every time you open your eyes and he’s not with you, it feels like you’re being hit by a truck. just the thought of never seeing him again is agonising, but then…

venice bitch

you’ve been away from each other for a little while. now you’re older, more mature, and you’ve both changed in a way. but you still want him to come over, that never changes. let’s have a little nostalgia for old times, FINALLY.

brooklyn baby

this one’s for my girls who headcanon caleb as an avid guitar player.. this song for me is also based off of vibes. you BOTH don’t care about anything but each other, what else matters? you’re both beautiful, fun.. this is the dreamy relationship that you both always wanted, ESPECIALLY caleb. relax after those years of pain and suffering..

dividers by @uzmacchiato <3 so pretty

[ghostsofmalenia]

DARK BLUE/GREY DIVIDER SET 🌀☄️💙

Made this color combination after the Dark Red/Beige got sooo much love🥹🫶🏻Thank you everyone !

Most of the dividers are suitable for dark theme 🌀

IMPORTANT : If you use these dividers please tag @uzmacchiato for credit in the post you use it.

➡️ Masterlist ✨

Themed Dividers :

Themed Line Separators:

( Images used are from Pinterest )

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