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Thank you for answering! I guess we can't always have it all haha I'll definitely check thse out! :)

May I ask for a list of BLs you love that have both good story/characters and fluff+spice levels? <3

Good Story, Characters, Fluff & Spice

That's a tall order (fluff is usually deemed incompatible with at least one of the other 3 requirements - I don't make the rules). I listed a few posts for you. But I will call out a few recent BLs that haven't made these older lists:

Cherry Magic (Thailand)

Jun and Jun (Korea)

Stay By My Side (Taiwan)

Destiny Seeker (Thailand)

Make a Wish (Thailand)

The BL side plot in Love is Science? (Taiwan)

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I'm starting to get Kim. He's shrewd. He's calculating. He's manipulative. He's cold and ruthless. He's comfortable with the violence and he'll use it surgically and with extreme prejudice when it's required. He's a sneaky bastard. He doesn't like attachments. He doesn't have Kinn's ooey gooey centre. He will absolutely do whatever it takes to get what he wants.

And that's why Chay hits him like a nuke, because Chay is ALL feelings and sunshine and softness and determined to burrow into the heart of him and all the things Kim doesn't do. His signals toward Chay are mixed because he is losing his mind right now. His heart is responding to Chay, without recourse to his brain, and he can't explain to himself why he's doing any of the things he's doing when it comes to him. Why Chay's tears make him want to break into a thousand pieces. Why Chay in danger makes him want to walk into a thousand fires to save him. Why Chay's anger and rejection cut like a thousand knives. Why Chay confessing his love sent him running for the hills. He fell into it, and then looking at that smiley face on those eggs without Chay's immediate presence causing brain fog he snapped back like what the fuck am I doing?!

Kim has one fear, and it's being vulnerable. It's why he's always looking for threats, even within his own family. It's why he walked away and stayed away. But Chay walked into his life and pierced his armour without even trying. Chay is terrifying to him. But still, he can't stay away, it's too late now. As much as he's trying for it not to be so, Chay owns him now.

And Chay doesn't even realise it.

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Headcanon that Kim fell in love with singing and music because Kinn would sing to him when they were little 💔🥹

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A Deep Dive: Kim’s Fight Scene in Yok’s Bar

I’ve been thinking about this scene a lot lately, and I just have so many thoughts on it. 

Like low-key, but imo what makes this scene so mesmerizing yet also chilling at the same time is the fact that Kim never eliminates the possibility of Chay turning around at any time and witnessing Kim kill in order to protect him. 

Whereas Porsche tends to protect Chay by keeping him from seeing the reality of the mafia life (and tragically blindsides both himself and his brother because of it; Chay because he remains ignorant of his new environment and Porsche because his judgement of the risks in keeping Chay ignorant is impaired due to his overprotectiveness), Kim protects him only from the danger of it.

It’s an all around interesting narrative choice from BOC, especially considering that it’s Kim’s one fight scene in the entire series. 

Keep reading

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stay, don’t go; i’ll eat you up i love you so

Ao3 Link

Tags: Explicit Sexual Content, Experienced Kim, Inexperienced Porchay, Loss of Virginity, First Time, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Getting Back Together, Fluff and Smut, Canon-Typical Violence, Headcanons, Character Study, Porn with Feelings, Top Kim Khimhant Theerapanyakun, Bottom Porchay Pichaya Kittisawat, First Kiss, Kim is 22, Porchay is 18, Angst with a Happy Ending

In case KinnPorsche Season 2 is actually 100% dead and buried, this is my KimChay ending of choice thank yoooooou :'D

~

When Chay removes his headphones, the sound of gunshots and grunting men seizes his ears. When he turns around, a big angry man is lunging at him. Chay screams, tries to run, but he’s grabbed by his wrists and his arms are twisted behind him. His head bangs the corner of the table as he’s shoved to the floor, the impact ripping the air from his lungs. He writhes under the man’s weight but it does nothing. Terror pounds through him as a cloth is pressed against his mouth. Tears prick his eyes. He wants his brother. He wants…

Not again. Please, please not this again…!

A shot rings out. The man falls over off of him, bellowing swears and clutching his bleeding arm. 

“Ngh…” Chay’s head throbs. Everything’s spinning. He struggles to sit up, tries not to throw up. He manages to look over his shoulder, and a trembling breath leaves him.

Kim has the man on the ground at gunpoint. One glance at Chay, one look at the massive bleeding cut on his forehead, and Kim’s eyes blacken. He drags the man up by his throat, fingernails drawing blood.

“You fucking bastard,” Kim snarls. The man grabs at Kim’s hand but he doesn’t budge. Kim digs the barrel of his gun into his purpling face, then angles it down above his leg. A bullet rips into his thigh and the man heaves and sputters in agony, eyes ballooning from their sockets.

“K-Kim…,” Chay whimpers, lifting a hand. Kim turns his head, and the look in his eyes is nothing short of bone-chilling. “Please, don’t…”

Kim stares at him for several seconds. Then he turns his attention back to the suffocating thug. Kim releases his throat and he crumples to the ground in a violently coughing heap. Not a second later, the man bellows like a crazed bull and pulls out a knife before throwing himself at Kim.

“NO!” Chay shouts.

But Kim easily sidesteps him, slams his foot down on the man’s back, and shoots him in the back of the head. Chay covers his mouth at the sight, hyperventilating into his hands. He watches blood pool beneath the man’s head, watches it leak across the floor. Then Chay’s eyes go to the bar and he catches what looks to be more lifeless bodies littered about. He looks at Kim, whose face and white shirt are blood splattered. Chay’s teeth start to chatter and he twists away from the scene, knees to his chest, arms around his head, shivering like the world’s turned to frost.

“Porchay.” Kim rushes to his side. His chest stings when Chay flinches away from his touch. “It’s me. It’s just me.” Kim tries again, gently brushing his fingers over Chay’s hand. He’s shaking so badly and it kills him. “Chay, come on. You know I’d never hurt you.”

Chay’s voice is soft and broken. “Y-You…all those g-guys you–”

“I know. But I had to.” Kim takes a breath. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to see this.” He’s careful as he reaches out with both hands to hold Chay’s face, tenderly turning him to look. Kim reigns in his rage. “You’re bleeding a lot.”

Kim coaxes Chay to stand and guides him further back into the club, away from the carnage. He goes back to the bar and checks under the counter, finding a clean rag and a small first-aid kit that only has antiseptic wipes and a single pack of bandages, then promptly returns to Chay. Chay’s eyes remain downcast, dim with shock. Kim gently takes his chin and tilts his face towards him before proceeding to clean him up. He wipes blood off of Chay’s eyebrow, his nose, his cheek. He dabs the cut then goes back over it with a wipe, finishing by applying the largest bandage he can find and then some. He’ll find something better once they’re out of here.

And all the while, Kim talks. He started shooting guns when he was six. He had to learn how to fight for his life at seven. His first kill was when he was twelve. All the men he’d witnessed being tortured, brutalized, beaten to death. All the despair, hopelessness, desperation, the pleas for mercy. Kim explains everything.

How he’d left home at the age of sixteen to escape from the hell he’d been born into. How he still chose to remain in contact with that world despite that, because he couldn’t forget about his family. How Tankhun had bought him a ukulele when he was a toddler so he’d stop crying. How Kinn used to sing to him when he couldn’t sleep. How music was his salvation. 

How one day, he saw a really cute fan in the crowd who gave three correct answers to a single question about his music videos. How he could never forget his smile.

“I thought it was nice,” Kim says after applying one more bandage. Then his hands fall into his lap. “I was…kind of excited. That maybe I’d see you on campus.”

Chay still isn’t looking at him, but he’s been listening. His eyes become a little clearer.

Kim sighs then continues, “I was suspicious of this guy, Porsche, who’d been assigned to be my brother’s bodyguard for no real reason. I needed to know who he was, if he was a threat. If he’d fooled my father, if he was hiding something. So…” He clears his throat. “So it’s true. The reason I first reached out to you. But what I didn’t expect was…”

Now Chay looks at him, their eyes meeting. They hold each other’s gaze for a long moment. 

“What…did you not expect?” Chay asks quietly, a tinge of hope blending with the hurt. 

At first, Kim can’t find words. He’s too busy admiring how the rich golden sheen of the setting sun streams into the bar and hits Chay just right, dusting his hair, putting a sparkle in his lovely brown eyes, a soft glow upon his warm skin, a shine on his perfect lips. Kim takes it all in, and wonders how Chay is still bothering to sit here with someone like him.

“It’s true that I had ulterior motives,” Kim says. “But what I felt…that was true, too. That wasn’t a lie, Chay.”

“What you…felt?”

Kim takes Chay’s shoulders and leans in, head down. “I was really happy when you said you liked me. So happy it was stupid. The time we spent together meant a lot. It meant everything . I didn’t want it to end but I knew it would eventually because that’s what always happens. Because my life is shit and people always end up getting hurt.” Kim grips Chay. “I knew that. But I’m fucking selfish. I wanted to hold on to you as long as I could.” A dry sob escapes him, one of heartache and bitterness. “The minor family’s gone to war with us. I knew they’d come for you. So I came here to protect you. I told myself I’d always protect you. Because I’m sorry. Because I like you, Chay. I like you so much it terrifies me.”

The words hang in the air. For a minute there’s only Kim and Chay’s breathing and the ambience of the closed bar. 

Kim wants Chay to shove him off in disgust. He wants him to take his revenge and reject him, swear he’ll never want anything to do with him ever again. He wants Chay to laugh in his face and scorn him for being a coward, for being an idiot to think he could fix what he’d done. 

But instead, soft warm hands cup his cheeks. Chay uses his sleeve to wipe some blood off Kim’s face. Kim looks at him but Chay averts his eyes. It’s different this time. This time, it’s that shyness Kim adores.

“...Thank you,” Chay says. “For um…For saving me.”

Another beat of silence.

“I’m sorry again you had to see it,” Kim says, observing Chay’s fidgeting fingers. “Are you okay?” He looks down and quietly asks, “Are you afraid of me?”

Chay takes a deep, trembling breath. After a moment, he admits, “No. I don’t think I’ll be okay for a while.” 

Then he gazes at Kim. Kim, whose music had given Chay a dream. Kim, who was patient and kind. Kim, who kissed him on the cheek, whose heartbeat lulled Chay to sleep that night. Who’d held his hand and embraced him. Kim, who’d broken his heart. 

Who wouldn’t let Chay take drugs while wasted around a bunch of people he barely knew. Who had tapped into the very thing he hated most about himself in order to protect him.

“But I meant it for real when I said…,” Chay takes Kim’s hands, “that I like all of your sides.”

Kim looks at Chay as a blush blooms across his face and tears fill his eyes. Through Chay’s sniffling, a small smile breaks out. Kim’s heart swells and tears of his own gather. He starts berating himself because he shouldn’t be allowed this. He shouldn’t be allowed to feel this happy . But the relieved laugh escapes him. He cradles Chay’s cheek and swipes away a tear with his thumb. His heart sings when Chay holds his wrist and nuzzles his palm.

“I’m sorry that I made you cry,” Kim says. 

“It’s cool.”

“No it’s not. I won’t do it again.”

“You’re doing it now though.”

“I love you.”

Chay’s eyes widened and he goes still. He searches Kim’s eyes, finds them unwavering.

“Kim…”

“I love you, Porchay.” Kim links his fingers with Chay’s and they stand. He leans in so their foreheads touch. “Let’s get out of here.”

✦

✦

✦

Something about seeing Porchay, hair wet and one of his shirts hanging off his skinny frame, sends Kim over the edge. 

Without a word Kim gets up from his bed and stalks towards him, an arm wrapping around Chay’s waist to pull him close. The feeling of Chay’s thin body against him does things to Kim, and he doesn’t know what to do with himself, with Chay , that won’t be bad. So Kim buries his face into Chay’s neck but swiftly realizes that this, too, is a bad idea as the mingling scents of his body wash and Chay’s skin intoxicates him.

“K-Kim?” Chay squeaks, hands going to Kim’s shoulders. Their proximity, the feeling of Kim’s lips and breath upon his skin, makes him flush a deep red. “Um…Kim, what are you doing?”

“I’m just hugging you,” Kim says into Chay’s ear, chuckling when his blush reaches the shell. He kisses it and the kid nearly jumps. Kim snickers into his shoulder. “You’re so cute, Chay.”

“S-Stop saying, and doing, embarrassing things!” Chay yelps, pushing Kim back. They were never physical before, not like this anyway, so Chay doesn’t know what’s gotten into him. But Kim gives him a lopsided grin, his long tousled hair falling over one eye, and he somehow becomes even more handsome. Chay shakes his head. “What’s with you…”

Chay loses his words. Kim cups his cheek and leans in until their lips are a hair’s breadth apart. It’s a question, and Kim waits. Chay counts one heartbeat and answers, inching forward. They close the distance, lips meeting in their first kiss. They break apart for a second to look into each other’s eyes and process. Then they kiss again. And again, and again, and again.

Chay never so much as held a person’s hand (that wasn’t his brother’s) until he met Kim so he’s not sure what he’s doing. He just hopes Kim likes it, and Kim sure as hell does. So much so that soon he’s pressing a little harder, opening their mouths, letting his tongue brush Chay’s bottom lip. The sweet taste of him drives Kim wild. 

Chay breaks away gasping for air. “Kim–”

Kim’s mouth covers Chay’s again and he spins them both around, starts walking him backward. He doesn’t allow their lips to part as they fall onto his bed, Chay laid out beneath him. 

“Mmph…!” Chay goes to push Kim’s shoulders but Kim’s hands wrap around his wrists and pin them down on the bed. He gasps Kim’s name between kisses, moans softly as Kim licks into his mouth, tongue ravaging him. It’s not until Chay feels Kim’s hand slide under his shirt that he finally shouts around the kiss, “Wait!”

Kim’s hand stops immediately and he pulls back. As much as the sight of Chay under him, face flushed, breathing hard, hair a damp halo, and glossy lips swollen, turns him on, Kim doesn’t miss his discomfort. He removes his hand from under his shirt.

“Sorry,” Kim says, catching his breath. He brushes hair out of Chay’s eyes. “I won’t do anything else. Not unless you want me to.”

Chay gazes at him for a moment. Then he goes up on his elbows to give Kim a quick peck on the lips. He runs a hand through Kim’s hair, a million thoughts running through him.

“I-I…It’s not that I don’t want to,” Chay says, unable to meet Kim’s eyes. “I want to. I just…I’ve never…” 

Kim wraps Chay in his arms. He kisses Chay’s neck and nuzzles his shoulder, his heart doing cartwheels. He cradles Chay close, holds him like the precious soul he is. Kim can’t fathom it, that Chay wants him to be his first. The thought almost makes Kim cry. And it also makes his body burn, deep and untamed.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything.” Kim kisses the bandages on Chay’s forehead. Chay gasps as Kim starts pulling his shirt up. It’s tossed aside and Kim takes a second to ogle Chay’s slender body. He shudders as Kim runs a hand down his chest. “It’s alright. I promise I’ll be gentle.”

The way Chay looks at him, so nervous yet so full of trust, has Kim hurrying to strip off his own shirt. Chay’s eyes glow with longing as they roam all over his body, tight and sculpted with well defined muscle. 

Littered with faded scars. 

Chay sits up and extends a timid hand, his fingers caressing an old cut below Kim’s collarbone. A laceration on his side. Healed gunshot and stab wounds around his shoulders, along his torso. Multiple cigarette burns. Chay chokes back tears as he thinks about everything Kim told him, what Kim had gone through his entire life. How he’d turned to music to be free from it all, to do something else, something better than what was passed down to him.

“I’m sorry,” Chay whispers.

“Hey.” Kim cups his face. “Do you remember what you said to me?” When Chay furrows his brows, he chuckles. “You know…I’ve always thought I was a pretty unlucky guy myself. But it’s like you said.” His fingertips brush beneath Chay’s eye. “Maybe all of the luck I’ve ever had was so I could be here with you.”

Chay’s eyes shimmer.

Kim smiles. “Tonight, let’s just think about us. Okay?”

Us. 

Chay sobs and hugs him tight, the pair of them shivering as their bare torsos touch. Kim squeezes him back.

“Okay,” Chay sighs.

Kim claims Chay’s lips and lowers him back down, their arms still around each other. He pulls away and peppers Chay’s face with kisses, making him giggle. He kisses Chay’s lips one more time before trailing down to his neck, licking and sucking his tender nape. Chay bites his lip, muffles his gasps and moans. Kim’s strong hands leave traces of fire wherever they go as they caress Chay’s body, sliding along his sides, down his stomach, his arms. When they rub over Chay’s nipples, his cry can’t be contained. He immediately covers his mouth, face burning.

What kind of sound did I just make? Chay whines into his hands as Kim doesn’t relent in toying with him. Kim parts from Chay’s neck and kisses down from his shoulder to his chest until closing his lips around one of his nipples, punctuating with a firm suck. 

“Ngahh…!” It pushes through Chay’s fingers as his back arches. Before Chay can seal his mouth again, Kim grabs his hands.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” Kim says. “It’s a normal reaction.”

“B-But…But–”

“You know I love it when you sing, Chay.” Kim thwarts Chay’s plan to hide by pinning his hands over his head with one hand. He brings his face close to Chay’s and a sly smile plays on his lips. “So let me hear you.”

Kim thumbs one nipple, brings his mouth down on the other, and Chay keens helplessly. The sound of his cute, sweet voice riles Kim up so much that he growls into a bite, just below Chay’s ribcage. The scrape of Kim’s teeth startles him, and he whimpers as Kim applies a little more pressure, but not enough to hurt him. Then Kim finally releases Chay’s wrists, drags his hand down his lithe arms, his neck, fondles his chest, tweaks Chay’s nipples as Kim works his way downward, and it’s like Chay’s being eaten alive. Kim dragging his tongue down his flat stomach, back up and over Chay’s nipples, then down his chest again. Leaving hungry kisses and sucking bruises into Chay’s heated skin wherever his lips pass, losing himself in the song that is Chay’s every wanting cry of pleasure. Kim closes his mouth over Chay’s hip, nibbles the skin on the delicate dip down further, stopping at the band of his pajama pants. He spies the very obvious bulge and smirks.

“Looks like you’re eager,” Kim says, nudging Chay’s arousal with his hand, to which Chay whines and throws his arms over his eyes.

“Kim!” he exclaims from the sheer embarrassment. 

He takes a sharp breath when he feels Kim’s hands start pulling down the waistband, painstakingly slow. Kim watches the rapid rise and fall of Chay’s chest, how the gorgeous shade of scarlet dusting his neck and shoulders deepens, how he gasps when his hard, leaking cock is finally freed. Kim’s pupils blow wide, mouth watering at the sight. He teases the length of Chay’s cock with the tip of his tongue and Chay stifles a yell with his arm, his back arching beautifully. Kim repeats the motion, tugging Chay’s pants up and completely off as his legs bend from the stimulation. Chay whimpers at how exposed he feels and instinctively goes to cross his legs, to cover himself, but Kim doesn’t let him.

“Don’t hide from me,” Kim says. He settles himself between Chay’s legs, places a kiss on one of his knees, then on his inner thigh, pinching the soft skin with his teeth. Then he sits up to take in the view of Chay lying naked and breathless before him. Perfection. It provokes something primal, and Kim fights the raging desire to take him right there. 

Chay sees Kim’s eyes, dark with lust, and trembles. He’s never felt more vulnerable, more at another’s mercy. And yet, he feels so incredibly safe, protected. Because it’s Kim leaning over him, surrounding him, touching him like he’s porcelain. Because he can feel Kim’s care, see his love crystal clear in the depths of his desire. And Kim sees it, too. Chay’s trust in him. Trust he swears on his life he’ll never break again. Trust he’ll treasure and guard until his dying breath.

Kim sticks two fingers into his mouth, gets them good and coated, before bringing them to Chay’s hole. He slots the tip of his middle finger against it and Chay yelps.

“W-What? Down there…Kim–”

“I need to prepare you,” Kim says, combing his other hand through Chay’s hair then caressing his cheek. He kisses Chay’s temple. “I’ve got you. Just breathe, okay? That’s it.”

His finger starts to breach him. Chay fists the sheets, tosses his head, gasps a string of moans as Kim pushes deeper.

“It f-feels weird…!” Chay says. “Ah…Ah! Hnngh! Mmph!”

Kim captures Chay’s lips in a desperate kiss. He works his finger deeper and deeper with light thrusts until he’s buried to the knuckle, while his other hand massages Chay’s nipples, pinching them between his digits. After several thrusts, Kim starts pushing a second finger in. Chay clings to his shoulders with a panicked gasp.

Kim licks his ear. “Shhh. You’re alright. I won’t hurt you.” The second finger eases in and Chay presses his face into Kim’s neck, a sob escaping him. “You okay? How does it feel?”

“I-I’m scared,” Chay finally manages. Kim digs and curls his long digits deep, brushing that bundle of nerves, and Chay absolutely wails . Kim bites his shoulder. “Ah! W-Wait! I c-can’t. I’m scared…I feel like I’m going crazy, Kim–Ngh! Haaah!”

“You’re not,” Kim says as he thrusts his fingers in and out. He laps at Chay’s neck, groaning at the sweetness of his skin, the saltiness of his sweat. “It’s supposed to feel like this. It’s supposed to feel good. Does it feel good, Porchay? Tell me.” Kim slides one more finger in, all three digits twisting inside him. Chay throws his head back, his cry filling the room, his body convulsing. Kim looks down to see Chay’s cock twitching, his stomach splattered white. He grabs and looks at Chay’s blissed out face, his own cock getting painfully harder by the second. “You came.”

They slot their mouths together. Chay groans into Kim’s mouth as he withdraws his fingers to hold Chay’s head with both hands, tilts him back, seeks to devour him. Once Chay is laying flat on the bed again, Kim sits up. He yanks his sweatpants and briefs down, his rock hard erection springing free, curling against his toned abs. Kim starts stroking himself, slicking his length with precum, eyes black with lust piercing Chay where he lays. 

Chay quivers as his heart skips. He’s so big. How’s it going to fit?

As if he’s read his mind, Kim gives him a tender smile. He takes Chay’s hand and brings his knuckles to his lips.

“I’ll go slow,” Kim says. He kisses Chay’s wrist as he lines himself up. “Tell me right away if you want me to stop. Take a deep breath and relax…Good. You’re doing so good.”

Kim drapes himself over Chay as the tip enters him, pushing in as slow as possible. He stills when the head is in, giving Chay all the time he needs to adjust and catch his breath. Then he presses a little further, a harsh grunt punched out of him as Chay’s insanely hot and tight walls start sucking him in, squeezing Kim’s cock in a scorching pressure that has him seeing stars. Kim kisses Chay’s eyelids, kisses away the tears rolling down his face as he takes him deeper.

“Are you okay?” Kim breathes.

“I…It s-stings a little,” Chay stutters. “But don’t…Don’t–Ah!” The stretch is borderline unbearable and Chay fears he’ll be torn apart, yet the pleasure shooting through him alongside the pain has him yearning for more. And when he looks up at Kim’s face through his tears, when he sees the attentiveness, the kindness, the affection he remembers, when he sees Kim’s desire for him storming in his eyes… Chay wants him. He wants Kim so badly. “Please don’t stop.”

Kim’s heart thunders. He gathers Chay in his arms, smothering his neck and shoulders with heated kisses. He never wants to let Chay go ever again, as long as he lives. Chay hugs him tight, his slender arms wrapping around Kim’s muscular back as he finally buries himself to the hilt inside him. 

“Porchay,” Kim rasps against Chay’s swollen red lips. He pulls out a bit then slowly thrusts back in. He groans into a kiss. Another thrust. “Porchay… You feel so amazing.”

Chay leans his forehead against his, wraps his legs around Kim’s waist.

“I feel so full,” Chay whispers. “Because you’re–ngh–inside me. Kim…”

Kim grits his teeth. The next thrust is a little harder and Chay chokes out a moan.

“You little…” Kim grinds his cock into him, hard and deep. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Then Chay touches his face so gently, like he’s holding a baby animal. More tears flood his big brown eyes. They spill over when Chay smiles. “Chay?”

“I’m so happy,” Chay says. “I’m so happy I met you. Everything, the good things and the bad things. I’m glad they all happened so I could be here with you like this. I don’t regret any of it.” Chay rubs Kim’s cheekbones with his thumbs. “Thank you, Kim. Thank you for liking me. Thank you for wanting me.”

In Kim’s eyes, everything about Chay is glowing. Warm embers. A candle illuminating the darkness. Sunlight, moonlight. This light that decided to come close to someone like him, that chose to shine for him. That’s still shining for him in this moment even though Kim had stupidly tried to snuff him out. 

“I should be saying that,” Kim says, voice heavy with how much he means this. “I never thought someone like you would happen to me. And after what I did to you...” Kim holds Chay’s face. A single tear falls. “Thank you, Porchay, for liking and wanting me. For still liking and wanting me.”

Their tearful smiles become soft laughter and they kiss. 

Kim starts moving, setting a slow, even pace. As the pain subsides and is replaced with overwhelming pleasure, Chay’s fingernails bite into Kim’s back. Kim groans, relishes in the delicious sting of his skin breaking, and starts snapping his hips a little harder. Kim laves his tongue over Chay’s nipples, sucks on the stiff buds. His hand palms Chay’s erection, stroking it in tandem with his thrusts that are quickly losing their rhythm. He sharply pulls back so that only the head is inside then slams back in. Chay moans, raw and loud, as Kim repeats the motion three more times, the bed jostling and creaking with the strength of his thrusts. 

“N-Not like that, Kim,” Chay gasps, then squeals when Kim does it again. He begs between labored breaths,“Kim…! Please it’s too m-much! Ah! Ahh!” Kim’s cock pounds his prostate and Chay screams.

“But I can feel you thrusting back down every time,” Kim says, teeth scraping Chay’s chin. 

Chay turns away, blushing bright. “What are you– AHH –saying?”

Kim grunts as he moves over him and starts picking up the pace, barely pulling out, hips pistoning faster and faster, possessed with unbridled passion as his climax rapidly approaches. The sound of wet, slapping flesh, their mingling ragged breaths, their drawn out moans fills the room like a lewd chorus. 

“Kim, I can’t–I’m about to–”

“Me, too, Chay. I’m close.” Kim licks Chay’s lips.  “Let’s do it together. Come for me.”

With one more powerful thrust, Kim lodges himself as deep as he can with an animalistic growl. Chay’s head falls back and Kim latches onto his neck as he crushes their hips together. Their bodies shudder violently against each other as they come. Kim grinds into Chay as his release coats his walls, flooding him, filling him. He feels the heat of Chay’s cum on his abdomen, the stuttering of his cock. They remain like this, wrapped in each other’s embrace, riding out the wave, breathing between tired, messy kisses. Eventually Kim reluctantly pulls out. The way Chay shudders and the dirty squelch of his cock slipping out of him almost gets Kim hard again. That, and the bite marks adorning Chay’s neck and shoulders. But instead, Kim tucks himself back into his sweatpants and rolls over, flopping down beside his poor lover.

Chay whines at the sudden emptiness he feels and seeks Kim’s warmth, snuggling into his chest, into Kim’s safe strong arms. Kim holds him close, pressing kisses into his hair, whispering sweet nothings as he tangles their legs together. Chay listens to Kim’s heartbeat and almost cries because he’s missed it so much. 

“How was it?” Kim says, fingers stroking Chay’s hair.

Chay blushes and mumbles, “It felt…nice.”

“Just nice?” Kim chuckles when Chay shakes his head and presses further into his chest. “Too cute.”

“Shut up…”

The night settles in, and the room is gradually bathed in soft white moonlight. 

“What’s going to happen tomorrow?” Chay asks softly.

Kim hums. Right. The whole mafia thing. “Honestly…I’m not sure.”

Chay draws small circles on Kim’s chest with his finger. “Well whatever it is, I’m going to face it with you. I won’t let you leave me again. And I won’t let you be alone anymore.”

Kim’s arms tighten around him, heart burning. He knows that Chay knows how vulnerable he is, how little he can do against the dangerous forces that now lurk in the shadows, that will follow him the rest of his life. But it doesn’t matter. Chay just wants to be with him. It’s Kim’s greatest weakness, and all the strength he’ll ever need.

“Okay,” he sighs. He noses Chay’s fluffy hair, breathes in his scent, closes his eyes.

“Kim.”

Kim looks at him. “Yeah?”

“I love you.” Chay smiles. He lifts a hand and strokes Kim’s cheek. “Do you…love me?”

Kim breaths in, gazing deep into Chay’s beautiful eyes brimming with love. Love for him. Love he’ll go to war for. Love he’ll never flee from again even if it kills him.

Kim captures Chay’s lips in a long, passionate kiss.

“I love you, Porchay.”

~

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why don’t i stay

Ao3 Link

This is a rewrite of the club scene in Ep. 12 and Kim’s thoughts in Ep. 13, enjoy! :D

~

The sight of Kim is enough to thin the alcohol-induced fog in Chay’s brain. Or, he thinks it’s Kim, the guy who just punched someone in the face. This person who just gritted out a single terrifying command, who’s now making the druggie lower himself back into his seat with his stare alone certainly looks like the Kim who held Chay in his arms not so long ago. 

His dark eyes go to Chay, still raging in their depths, and he gets nervous.

“Kim–”

Kim grabs Chay’s wrist and pulls him off the couch with ease. Chay tries to fight, tries to tug himself free, but Kim’s grip tightens as he drags him to the door. When they’re outside, Chay finally manages to break away. Kim whirls around to face him. 

“Why are you here?” Chay snaps, hurt igniting in his chest. 

Kim’s gaze finally softens, but only a little. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“What I’m doing is my business! Why are you doing this?” The knife in Chay’s heart begins to twist. Why is Kim doing this? Why is he making Chay think he still cares? “I never messed around in your business so don’t mess with mine!”

Then he’s being forced back against the wall and Kim closes in, caging Chay between his arms, pinning him with his smoldering gaze. Chay’s breathing hitches as Kim brings his face closer. He can smell Kim’s cologne and shampoo. He can feel Kim’s breath on his cheeks. He can see the smoothness of Kim’s lips. If it had been a time before now, Chay would’ve been too happy to admit. Maybe even mustered up the courage to pucker up and lean in. But no. Right now, he hates that he can’t control it, the warmth burgeoning on his skin, and so the blade lodged in Chay’s heart starts to burn.

“And what if I hadn’t?” Kim says. “You were just going to let him mess you up with drugs?” Then he mutters, “I should’ve killed that son of a bitch.”

It sends a shiver down Chay’s spine. He’d known Kim as his idol. His tutor. His friend. His first love. These days he can only wonder if it was all a beautiful, cruel dream. It had felt so real, even as it had ripped itself from Chay’s hold. Now there’s only one thing he can be absolutely sure of. 

Kim is a dangerous person.

Chay swallows. “So what if I was?”

Chay flinches when Kim bangs the wall. “Don’t you say bullshit like that. You’re better than this. You’re so much better than this, Chay.”

A bad, bad person.

“Guess you don’t know me after all.”

“Why didn’t you take the exam? I know you would’ve passed. You would’ve gotten in but instead you’re here doing…doing shit like this!”

The absolute worst.

Chay’s eyes burn. “Do you even really care?”

Kim’s eyes flash. “What kind of question is that?”

“What do you expect me to say?” Tears spill down Chay’s face. Kim gapes, the tension in his features instantly melting. He goes to touch Chay’s cheek, to wipe his tears, but he slaps his hand away. “After everything you did to me…How am I supposed to believe anything you say?”

Kim lowers his arms. As he stands there listening to the pain in Chay’s voice, despair crushes in on him and he can’t find words. 

“Chay–”

“Just stop it!” Chay says through broken sobs. “Please stop doing this to me. You had your fun didn’t you?” His eyes meet Kim’s. “Are you not done using me? Toying with me? What more do you want from me?”

Every word is a bullet, and now Kim feels himself dying. But he won’t try to save himself. He wouldn’t dare. He knew. He always knew.

“Please. Just leave me alone.” Chay wipes his face and fixes Kim with a glare. “What I do doesn’t concern you anymore.”

The thought of Chay going back in there makes Kim’s blood boil. There was never any hope to begin with for them. From the moment Kim had seen his face plastered all over Chay’s walls to the night he’d hurled caution to the wind with a kiss to Chay’s soft cheek. Again, he’d known. But Kim would be damned if he said watching Porchay squander his gift didn’t piss him off. If anything dug at him more than Chay’s tears, it was his talent being wasted.

“Fine.” Kim jabs a finger into Chay’s chest. He clenches his jaw, wrestles back on a mask of cold indifference. “From now on, whatever you do is your own decision.”

Kim storms off before he falls apart, but Chay’s frustrated, agonized cry follows him down the alley until he’s gone. When he’s finally alone, Kim slams his fist into the wall, grit biting into his knuckles, as a guttural scream tears out of him. Because Chay fell in love with someone so fucked up. Because Kim’s an idiot trying to forget who he was, for thinking things would be different this time even though he knew. For believing someone as radiant, pure, and lovely as Porchay Kittisawasd could’ve been his. Kim tells himself this has to be the end. It has to be.

And yet here he is the next morning, mind churning with questions about Chay’s wellbeing. If he ended up getting trashed with people he barely knew. If he got home safely. If he’s really going to pass up attending the university of his dreams. So Kim tries to call.

The line rings three times before cutting off. Kim registers the hint but he’s sending a text anyway before he knows it, asking Chay where he is. He finally relents when Chay blocks him not even a second after reading. He figured as much, but it doesn’t stop the sting in his chest.

Kim goes for the only respite he knows and reaches for his guitar, though he doubts he’ll be able to play anything that isn’t gloomy as hell. Just as he grabs the neck, something slips from between the strings and onto the floor. Kim kneels, gently taking the polaroid between his fingers. Porchay’s silly puffed face coupled with the love note adorably penned around the picture’s border is a mallet smashing Kim’s heart to smithereens, so devastating that he has to look up to breathe while his entire body droops. Before Kim knows it, he’s opening the top drawer of his dresser where he’s stashed all of Chay’s polaroids like invaluable little treasures, the ones he’d hidden all around Kim’s apartment. He sits down as he pours over them, unable to hold back his smile as he reminisces. Such short lived memories, yet Kim had known nothing sweeter than Chay’s hand in his. The light of his smile. The song of his laughter. The warmth of his embrace.

I want us to be together everyday.

Kim’s throat starts to hurt as Porchay’s absence crashes over him. Tremors course through him as he remembers that night, the night Chay sang his full love song to him without distraction or interruption. It’s engraved in Kim’s mind, Chay’s beautiful brown eyes as he’d gazed at him in the soundbooth. So much love and adoration for Kim and only Kim. He recalls how it had been too much, how he’d fled the room to start putting distance between someone so good and someone so twisted.

Kim remembers the moment Chay said he liked him. How his innocent confession had terrified as much as it had sent Kim over the moon with foreign levels of happiness that made him risk it all. How Chay had thrown his arms around him, and even though Kim couldn’t breathe, he’d been grinning ear to ear. How it had felt to hold Chay close against him for the first time, to close his eyes and breathe him in. How gorgeous Chay was with his head on Kim’s chest the morning before everything crumbled. When he’d looked up at him, so pretty and perfect and shy, saying such devastating words.

“Kim. I love you.”

Kim sets the polaroids on the table, not taking his eyes off them. Chay’s confession glows in his mind, echoes through the depths of his heart, and something snaps. 

“Fuck it,” Kim grunts.

He throws on a jacket and grabs his keys.

~

As @marshmallord said, he went to the house to apologize he went to the house to apologize he went to the house to apologize he went

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KINNPORSCHE ANNIVERSARY WEEK 4

Favourite romantic relationship: KimChay

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a journey, ep.4 | ep.13

insp.

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Kim thinking about Chay in episode 9 (pt. 5/12)

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Kim looking at Chay in episode 9 (pt. 6/12)

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Some KimChay Post-Happy Ending Things

Okay but like imagine with me for a moment if you will:

Kim being unable to keep his hands off Porchay for more than five seconds when they’re alone (he’s not one for PDA)

Kim shyly reaching for Chay’s hand when they go on a walk

Kim smiling like the biggest idiot on Earth the first time Chay calls him his boyfriend

Kim making Chay blush any chance he gets cause he’s so darn CUTE

Kim telling Porchay at every turn that he loves him so he’ll never have any doubts ever again

Before a concert - “I love you, Porchay.”

In the morning - “Chay. I love you.”

While Chay’s cooking dinner and Kim hugs him from behind - “Hey. I love you.”

Before Chay goes to school - “Oh by the way. I love you.”

And of course during lessons - “You went a little flat there. Also I love you.”

Kim and Porchay spending countless hours jamming on their guitars together and composing so many songs on the spot they have stacks of binders full of them

Porsche to Kim - “If you break my brother’s heart again I will hang you by your lovely cheekbones” :)

Also Porsche - “Thanks for always protecting him when I can’t. I’m glad he has you.”

Also also Porsche - “YOU AND KIM KISSED??? BY BABY BROTHER’S BEEN DEFILED I’M GOING TO DIE BUT NOT BEFORE I MURDER KIM FIRST--”

Kim rescuing Chay from Khun

Porchay borrowing Kim’s jackets

Kim dyeing Porchay’s hair and going with him to get his first piercing

Kim going Mafia Prince when some other guy gets too close to Chay - “He’s mine.”

Kim teaching Chay some self-defense and not at all trying to seduce him because he’s definitely going to need it now, as well as the basics of shooting a gun

Kim and Porchay working as a lethal team when faced with mafia shenanigans.

Because while Chay is still a noodle, he’s learned to be quicker on his feet, a little speed demon if you will

He can run to do the important thing while Kim kicks ass and looks hot

Always ends with Kim hugging the shit out of Chay cause he’s an idiot for wanting to stay with him but he loves him so much and doesn’t know what he’d do without him

Kim cradling the back of Porchay’s head with one hand and kissing his neck, then the cheek, then his lips

Kim holding Chay’s face, checking to see if he’s hurt anywhere and Chay’s just smiling at him all in love and stuff

Sexy times, soft and passionate (Porsche - “PORCHAY NOOOOOO”)

Sweet fluffly pillow talk with lots of kisses

The forever running joke between them:

“I love you.”

“I’m hungry.”

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Kim, who I suspect is actually the most dangerous character in the show, is the only one who has a soft sunshine bean love interest and I am HERE FOR IT.

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It’s time for you to stop; drop your skeptical act. ↳ [EP13] KinnPorsche the Series (2022) + Bonus:

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People often talk about how disappointed Chay is when he finds out who Kim really is— which is fair, that moment would have been horrible.

But I can’t help wondering if Kim had a similar moment when he realized Chay was related to Porsche.

Like… he meets this cute fan who loves his work and he’s so happy to get his autograph and Kim is like “Wow, adorable.”

Then he sees the report on Porsche who he is suspicious of and he thinks “What if this whole thing has been a scam to get close to my family?”

Suddenly that little moment of light in meeting Chay is totally gone. He just has a mission to do now, if he wants to protect his family.

All I’m saying is that, it also had to suck for him. Kind of like how it did for Chay. (Though obviously not as strongly since Chay was a fan first and in love when it happened)

Considering how much Kim obviously resents his family background and wants to live a normal life, it really must have stung to be reminded that he can never have that. Because he just can’t let his guard down. He must always wait for the next shoe to drop.

It just makes me feel bad for him, and I think it explains some of his reluctance to let Chay in, even when he learns he’s a good person. Because he can never really trust him even when all the evidence tells him that he can.

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Okay but the thing that makes me feral about the polaroids is that most of them are pictures OF Chay!

Pictures that Chay couldn’t have taken of himself! Which means Kim (or a 3rd party judging by the picture that shows Chay & Kim together) had to be the one taking them! I really wish we’d gotten to see their little outtings because this scene says SO MUCH about the Kimchay relationship.

Mostly, that is WAS a relationship! Friendship… Romantic… Somewhere between… It doesn’t matter. They spent time together, extended personal time from the looks of it. Chay was in Kim’s apartment! A place it doesn’t even seem like his family visits! And Chay was there enough times to hide these little pictures repeatedly (I’d say there are at least 5 of them). And Kim kept them! Safe and secure in a little box!

All of this makes Chay’s love confession a lot more understandable. He spent months getting to know and spend time with each other, They had little couple rituals! 

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Hello! I would like to place an order. *checks menu* Can I get some dramas with grumpy seme x sunshine uke? Something like a Kim x Porchay from KinnPorsche? Please and thank yooou~ *hands you a tip* (lol great blog i check it all the time ^^)

43 Grumpy/Sunshine BLs

This is a popular trope (and I tend to just combo it with tsundere/sunshine & grumpy/sweetheart). Korea loves it and tends to execute the most "on trope" versions. (Technically this is archetypes.)

I track it, so you can have an exhaustive list, like 200+ BLs. (And that's limiting to main couples only!) But I figured you wanted just the good ones...

You're a KP fan? Def track down Long Time No See. That'll be your winner.

Grumpy/sunshine BL Rated Above a 7/10

these are in general order with my personal favorites towards the top. I put the ones in bold that I think most satisfy the romance novel version of this trope. Sometimes sunshine can geta bit manic pixie dream boy.

To My Star

Until We Meet Again

A First Love Story (short)

Love Tractor

Nobleman Ryu's Wedding

A Tale of Thousand Stars

Cherry Blossoms After Winter

My School President

Just Friends?

Puppy Honey (BL Side)

Long Time No See

Life: Love on the Line

Restart After Come Back Home

Where Your Eyes Linger

2gether & Still 2gether

The Tasty Florida

You Make Me Dance

Golden Blood

Ocean Likes Me

Oh! Boarding House

Tinted With You

Star in My Mind

What Zabb Man!

All the Liquors

Happy Merry Ending

Love Mate

Moonlight Chicken

My Tooth Your Love

Candy Color Paradox

Never Let Me Go

Silhouette of Your Voice

Red Balloon

His the movie

Mr. Heart

Made in Rooftop

Manner of Death

Nitiman

Nation's Brother

Oh! My Sunshine Night

To Sir, With Love

HIStory5: Love In The Future

Oh My Assistant

My Esports Genius Brother

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