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going to treat myself to a new nail polish to wear to the ritual instead of using this one thats 5+ years old & goopy & i had to soak it in hot water for several minutes to get the cap unstuck & used to be purple but now its actually brown
#i did save my goopy 5+ year old top coat by putting some rubbing alcohol in it so thats nice#it was full of bubbles for a while but i think thats resolved
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things that are sexual to me: the jerma clip where hes trying to stretch a rubber band until it breaks but he keeps getting scared
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i respect porn without plot as a medium but i feel like i tend to not "get it" and it often makes me feel sort of alienated and confused. im realizing that this is simply because sex is alien and confusing to me & i need a slow burn type of situation to explain from the beginning why they want to do that. for some reason i never learn though so i have to be told every time
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gamer
(source: squidpastry on iNaturalist)
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ughhhhh (clutches my stupid head) i cant decide anything
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when i got dragged away to the emergency room with no shoes on they gave me shoes before i left. they were not real shoes. i imagine its the same for anything they give you. it serves its purpose but its not real
#while i was waiting for my uber outside a guy commented on them. i dont remember what. and i said oh you dont like them? 🥺#and did a little pose#embarrassing but i never saw him again its fine#and to their credit i must say the paramedics did try to find shoes for me to wear before leaving my apartment but i was not being helpful#so they gave up
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why do i think that if i google enough it will tell me the right answer to some very specific random detail in my wip
#currently its: do hospitals give you a toothbrush.#IT DOESNT MATTER#and for the record the answer is yes sometimes especially if you ask
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and i dont want any eargunk!!!!!!
youtube likes to pick one random video with ~50 views that has nothing to do with anything ive watched and put it at the top of the recommended list on every single video. im not gonna watch garlicboys im sorry
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maybe to distinguish vivisection fantasy from foot fic ill allow it to be a project of abundance and maximalism. no plans just add everything i want. this will heal me
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im crying. theres no way thats the lyrics right......?
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world's smallest chihuahua found alive and well resting in a warm corn tortilla
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GHOULBANGERS BALL // OSLO papa loves his ghouls ⸸♡
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i might be google mapsing various other ritual locations rn
#i dont ever go anywhere so i dont know how far away i am from major cities. i feel like i should#one time my boss (lives other side of the world) said he was going skiing & traveling to do so and for some reason he was like how far#do u have to travel to ski. and i said um idk i dont ski ^_^#he was like oh... well how far away do you have to go to get to the mountains? iwas like ummm idk that either#he was not impressed
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im sooooooo relieved. vanessa i would kill for you
VANESSAAAAAAAAAAAA
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