gibscngirls

[gibscngirls]

𐔌 .₊۶ৎ˙⋆ held close all the time, knowin’ i’m half of you ۫ ꣑ৎ ֹ ₊ ꒱

author's note: just sharing this edit trailer and little one shot of a fic i'm writing on the side. this is purely indulgent content for me, i love art that isn't afraid to address the taboo because that's the fun of art/fiction! the story is told from the pov of madeline or mads, joel's eldest daughter, who survived the outbreak with him.

cw: DDDNE (dead dove do not eat), age gap (joel is 40s, mads is 20s), incest adjacent as in it's leaning that way but it's not there yet (but it will, they’re in love sorry). if this makes you uncomfortable and isn't your thing then don't read! it's that simple <3

disclaimer: this is fiction, i obviously do not condone or support real life incest don't be dumb. this is purely a made up headcanon inspired by this post by @thechaoticcherub, it obviously does not reflect the actual character of joel miller depicted in the game/show the last of us.

It’s been two years since we lost Sarah. Two years since we lost the world, since my dad lost himself. We’re on the way to Boston, Dad heard talk of the QZ up there bein’ better than Austin. Uncle Tommy’s already on his way, paired up with a group makin’ the journey. I told Dad we should’ve tagged along but he said he didn’t trust them. We could make the journey on our own. It’s been a month since we left, the truck ran outta gas in the first few weeks, so we’ve been on foot. Just me, Dad, and Sarah.

She’s always with us, like a ghost that refuses to move on. Sometimes I think she haunts Dad more. In my mind I still see her as she was, all hair and a toothy grin. But Dad can’t stop seein’ her layin’ there. That blood never washed off. Not really. For a while, I didn’t think he was ever gonna be the same. There are days I still don’t think he would’ve made it this far if it weren’t for me. Sarah was always his favorite – his baby.

That’s not fair, he loves me, always has. But they just had somethin’ I worry we never did. I’m too much like him – all rough edges. Nothing soft to hold on to. He used to look at me and see himself, now I think I’ve become some sort of twisted amalgamation of bodies. Him, Sarah, myself.

I’d like to say it’s gotten better. I think after the first few months, when he started to realize I could handle my own, I finally started to fade through the cracks. Each day we woke up next to each other in some shoddy tent or rundown building. I’d wake up to the gentle feeling of him stroking my hair, eyes tired and red like he hadn’t slept at all. Like he’d spent the whole night watching me. He’d tuck a stray hair behind my ear, and whisper things about how lucky he was to still have me, his pretty girl. And each day we woke tangled like that, it was like he could see me a little more clearly.

He holds me tighter now that Sarah’s gone. He never lets me out of his sight, and we always sleep together. He says he just wants to protect me, but part of me thinks he just likes having me close. Like he can’t be sure I’m safe unless I’m in his arms. And his eyes are always on me, whether we’re in a crowd or alone. He missed Sarah’s last moments, looking over at me and Uncle Tommy for help, and I think that haunts him. So now his eyes never leave me. I’m all that’s left of the man he was before, the father he was, and I know in my heart he would burn down the world before losing me. It’s a comforting feeling, even if it’s a bit suffocating at times. But that’s what love is.

It’s getting colder each day. Every night we huddle a bit closer to the fire, drink a little bit more whiskey just to feel the burn. We’ve started sharing a sleeping bag, Dad’s body solid behind mine, a constant reminder. He’s started stroking gentle circles on my back, hand tucked under my shirt to help me go to sleep. It’s something he used to do when I was a kid, the first time it had just been the two of us. With the crackle of the fire, and his steady even breaths on the back of my neck; I find myself sleeping easier than I have since the outbreak.

There was one incident a few days ago, where we ran into a group of raiders. Dad’s taught me how to defend myself over the past couple years, and Uncle Tommy showed me a thing or two with his rifle, but these guys got the jump on me. It was a rare moment that Dad’s eyes weren’t glued to me. We were in the middle of the woods, far from any highway (Dad refused to walk near them) and we stumbled upon a cabin. It seemed to be abandoned, Dad and I did a thorough check and there was no sign of life. We took it as refuge from the cold, giving ourselves a rare rest day before setting back on our way. It was the second day there, I’d somehow managed to convince Dad to let me go check the trap we’d set. He wanted to come with me, but I bat my lashes at him and swore I’d be less than ten minutes, and he let me – it was the last time he ever did.

I had been on my way to check the trap when this group of three men jumped me. The biggest one put his grimy hand on my mouth, the tip of a knife pushing into my jacket. The other two made lewd comments about how pretty I was, and if I was alone. They walked me back to the cabin, and yelled out to my Dad. He opened the door, and the look on his face was absolutely terrifying. He was calm. Calm in that deathly way reserved only to those ready to kill. The men shouted at him, things I can’t remember because all I could take in was his eyes on mine. I couldn’t look away from him, all I wanted in that moment was to be back in the safety of his arms. Soft circles on my back.

He disappeared for less than a minute with our packs, dropping them at the feet of the men. They must have come to some sort of agreement, because next thing I knew they’d thrown me at him, and I got my wish. His arms were on me in an instant, roaming over my face and body, making sure I was okay. I told him I was, and the love in his eyes made my heart ache. But in a flash it was gone again, his eyes over my shoulder staring down the men as they searched through our things. They’d gone dark, his usual brown turned obsidian. It would have scared me if I hadn’t felt his tender hands still on me.

It was only an instant, one moment he was standing before me, and the next he was on them. He’d picked up some of the firewood that was outside the cabin, and suddenly the big one’s head was a mess of gore. The other two were scrambling to get away, but before they could he’d pulled his pistol out and shot one of them in the leg and the other in the head. The one still alive was trying to drag himself away, but Dad came up behind him, log in hand and all I could hear was the sound of bone crunching and the squelch of viscera.

I stood frozen in place, staring at my Dad’s back, his broad shoulders moving up and down as panted. When he turned around he was a mess — barely an inch of him free from blood. He walked right up to me and wrapped his arms around me. The blood was still warm and smelled of iron. But I held him tighter.

My boots crunched on hard snow, Dad a few feet ahead of me, walking slowly. With each step the ice creaked more, his footfalls sure but careful. I did my best to follow his path exactly, but I must have miscalculated, because I heard a crack and froze. One snap, then another, and before I could process what was happening the unrelenting chill of the water stole my breath. My lungs were on fire, my skin burned. I couldn’t even call out to him, the weight of my pack and clothes trying desperately to drag me under.

I heard the howl of my name on the air, the kind of fear in my Dads voice I’ve only heard once before. He rushed to me, sliding to his knees, careful not to further break the ice. He threw his pack and rifle to the side, reaching for me instantly. I could see the pure fear in his eyes, he looked wild, like a spooked animal. I was trying desperately to reach for him but I was losing function of my limbs faster than I could process.

I wanted to call out to him, but the tears were freezing on my cheeks, and my lungs were so small in my chest I could barely breathe. Then suddenly his grip found me, hand strong and warm. He pulled me up with a roar, pure animal instinct pulling me from the frozen depths of the lake.

When the cold air hit my soaked body, I gasped loudly, and my whole body shook so hard it hurt. The convulsions were unrelenting, and within moments he was on me, picking me up into his arms, panting heavy words, I’ve got you babygirl, I got you. It’s okay baby, ’s okay. I got you. I wanted to cry, but I could barely process anything but the cold.

He grabbed our packs, and carried me all the way to the other side. Lucky for us both we were almost across when I’d fallen through, so we were able to get to land safely, but still he held me. I’m not quite sure how long he walked, my brain incapable of coherent thought through the chill sinking into my bones, but I could hear his soft words in my ear soothing me; Hold on, stay with me babygirl, just another moment.

He finally set me down beneath the roots of a large fallen tree that provided a semblance of shelter from the biting wind. He pulled his coat from his body, wrapping it around me before getting to work on a fire. I made some protest about him being cold, but he wouldn’t have it. The flames slowly came alive, and though I could feel them they weren’t sinking in. Dad strung a rope above the fire, and walked over to me, pulling me to stand. My legs hurt and a whine slipped from my lips, I know baby. Get undressed. It was a command, no room for questioning. Though the thought of facing the full brunt of the chilled air made tears sting my eyes, I did as I was told. He followed suit, unbuttoning his flannel, peeling the wet fabric from his chest. I stripped off my soaked coat, my sweater and undershirt. My jeans clung to my legs and hurt to peel off but they came soon enough, algonside the leggings I had underneath. I handed the pile of drenched clothes to him, and he started hanging them above the fire.

I stood shaking so hard I thought my teeth would break, one arm draped across my chest, trying to manage some semblance of humility as my nipples peaked razor sharp through the thin fabric of my tank top. Dad didn’t notice my discomfort, grabbing the sleeping bag that gratefully was in his pack, and laid it as close to the fire as he could. He climbed in, and motioned for me to follow, and I’ve never moved so fast. I curled into him, and the heat of his body had a whimper escaping my lips. He wrapped his big arms around me, pulling me impossibly close — tangling our legs, his head on the top of mine. He rubbed my back, my arms, my legs, doing anything to warm me. The firm lines of his body were both familiar and foreign, never having felt his body this closely before — skin on skin. The roughness of his hands across my body, the friction and warmth, had my lungs tightening in my chest. It felt strange, like something we shouldn't be doing, yet I couldn’t find it in myself to care. And he didn’t seem bothered by it. At some point I stopped shaking, and between the warmth of the fire and my Dad holding me, I was able to fall asleep.

My dreams were filled with visions of the ice, of Sarah, of Dad. Of a snowy wood and a wolf pup chasing a rabbit. Then a larger wolf came, tackling the pup, holding it down. It whined and whined, but the other wolf held strong, the rabbit forgotten. The wolf nuzzled into the pup, and slowly the wolf pup stopped struggling; finding comfort in the firm weight of the other.

I’m not sure what woke me up, but when I did, Dad’s body was firm behind mine. It’s a familiar comfort, the strong lines of him. The sound of his even breath told me he was asleep, but his hands were still moving — tracing slow circles on my skin, moving up and down my stomach. I sucked in a breath every time his fingers dip low on my stomach. It tickled, alongside something else. Some unfamiliar feeling, yet one that I am distinctly aware I shouldn’t feel from the drag of my father’s hands. But his breath was even against my neck, the same it always is, so I didn't move. I didn’t stop his roaming hands, instead closing my eyes, allowing myself this one sin. A warmth pooled low in my stomach, worsened every time he dipped below my belly button, again and again.

I was about to fall back asleep, soothed by the feel of his hands, when I heard his voice quiet in my ear, You awake baby? I startled, my cheeks flushing like I’d been caught. I rolled over to face him, his hand moving from my stomach to my lower back never stopping its slow movements. I looked up to meet his eyes, and tried not to let him read the shame in mine. His left arm was still wrapped around me, and holding my gaze he began to move his right hand up from my lower back. Slowly he dragged his fingers up my side, making me squirm into him from the tickle, his eyes watching me. His fingers slid up my shoulder, the side of my neck, finally coming to rest on the back of my head, rubbing the small notch behind my ear. His eyes roamed over my face, and his voice came out low and quiet, ‘M pretty girl. ‘fraid I was gon’ lose you. We’d both be restin’ at the bottom ‘fore I let that happen. Not again. You’re my girl, it’s you ‘n me. I nodded at his words, tears stinging my eyes. I tried not to let them fall, I wanted to be strong for him. But one escaped, sliding down my cheek, oh babygirl, and he leaned in slowly, kissing the tear from my cheek. He pulled away slightly, searching my eyes for something. I don’t know if he found it. But he leaned back in, gently placing another kiss to my other cheek where another tear had fallen. Then one to my brow, my temple, my nose. My eyes were closed, but I felt his breath over my lips. I opened my eyes just enough to see him, his expression unreadable, he looked different in that moment, and I was reminded of my dream. So I closed my eyes again, thinking it’ll make him feel better. Then, softly, like he was afraid I’d break, he placed a kiss on my lips like he used to when I was little.

I told myself that’s all it was, but the warmth in my stomach, the flutter in my chest, knew that’s a lie.

[gibscngirls]

Ilya Kaminsky, from “A City Like a Guillotine Shivers on Its Way to the Neck”, Deaf Republic

[gibscngirls]

Pov: your camera roll if Joel Miller was your boyfriend

[gibscngirls]

Feels Right

warninnggssss omg stepdad!joel smut - this is not everyones cup of tea so pls pls be warned also as always 18+ for smut, otherwise to the of age freaks pls enjoyy hehhehe

TW: stepdad!Joel | peepaw-coded filth | age gap (legal but still unwell) | power imbalance | gaslighting (loving) |manipulation (oop) | masturbation | daddy kink | praise kink

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

You sat at the end of the table, hands resting quietly in your lap as the hum of conversation floated between the clatter of cutlery and the occasional laugh from your two college friends, visiting for the week under the impression that this was just a harmless little getaway—some sun, some sleep, a few homemade meals in the country.

The kitchen smelled like rosemary and roasted meat, the air thick with steam and late evening light spilling in golden across the counter tiles. Your mother sat beside you, bright-eyed and flushed from wine, humming softly to herself as she passed the gravy boat across the table, her hand brushing against Joel’s wrist like it was second nature.

Joel.

Your stepfather.

Your very recent stepfather.

The same man who first walked into your life with a busted toolbelt, a sharp drawl, and a set of rough, dust-smeared hands that knew how to fix things. Walls. Leaks. Cabinets. Hearts, maybe. He was supposed to just reconstruct the kitchen—then, somehow, the bathroom, the laundry pipes, the broken fence in the backyard. And then, before you even realized it was happening, he was reconstructing his whole damn life around your mother.

Married four months ago. Living in your house. Sitting now at the head of the table, sleeves rolled to the elbow, carving meat with quiet precision, those thick, veiny hands guiding the knife like it was sacred ritual.

He didn’t speak much during dinner. He never did—just nodded now and then, a low rumble in his throat when someone addressed him directly.

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

He had that heavy, slow way about him—shoulders broad, voice gravelly, expression unreadable unless he was looking at you. Then it shifted. Just a little. Just enough. Like his eyes softened, or his mouth twitched into something barely shy of a smile. But only for a second. Only for you.

He wasn’t your father. As many times as your mother tried to make it so—“Can you ask your daddy what time he’ll be home?” or “Your daddy said he’d pick up more of that good brisket from town”—you never said the word. Couldn’t. Wouldn’t.

Not when your thoughts about him weren’t the kind daughters were supposed to have.

Not when you couldn’t stop noticing the way his shirt clung to his back when he mowed the lawn. Or how his voice sounded first thing in the morning, gravel and heat, rasping low as he stood in the doorway with a steaming mug of coffee and tired eyes.

Not when you still dreamed about the way his hand lingered on your lower back a little too long the night of the wedding, guiding you through the crowd with a touch that didn’t feel familial.

Not when the man who’d been in your life less than a year looked at you sometimes like he’d undo every rule in the world just to have one moment of honesty with you.

And now here he was, sitting across the table, carving roast beef with those strong, calloused hands, the flicker of candlelight catching in his beard and glinting off the silver band on his ring finger that your mother slipped on with shaky hands one courthouse morning.

You swallowed hard, tearing your eyes away, trying to focus on your friends, on the mashed potatoes, on anything but the way Joel kept looking at you when your mother wasn’t watching.

Anything but the fact that he knew you weren’t calling him daddy for a reason.

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

The living room was dimly lit, the last sliver of pink sunset bleeding through the windows, casting golden streaks across the hardwood floor and the frayed edges of the old throw rug your mother refused to replace. You sat curled up in the corner of the couch, remote in hand, aimlessly scrolling through Netflix with half-lidded eyes, the sound of your friends' soft laughter filling the space around you like warm static.

Your mom had disappeared upstairs just after dessert, fingers laced in Joel’s, her voice pitched high and giddy as she declared, “We’ll leave you girls to your wine and gossip—don’t wait up!” And just like that, they were gone, the creak of the stairs and the hush of a door closing upstairs the only trace of them.

You tried not to think about it. About him. About the way Joel had glanced at you as he stood, one hand braced on the back of her chair, the other resting at his side like he didn’t know what to do with it, his eyes lingering on you for just a moment too long.

“God, what even is there to watch anymore,” you muttered absently, scrolling past title after title, your voice heavy with the kind of lazy boredom that comes after a full meal and a long day. Beside you, Ava stretched out with a little groan, her feet nudging under the blanket as she reached for her glass of wine, while Camila leaned in closer, eyes dancing with a mischievous glint that made your stomach twist even before she opened her mouth.

And then, softly—too softly—like a secret whispered between childhood friends and forbidden crushes, Camila nudged your arm and murmured, “Okay, seriously though… your stepdad is hot.”

The words hit you like a slap. Immediate. Merciless. Your whole body tensed, your spine straightening as if on instinct, fingers clenching tighter around the remote as you turned toward her, eyes wide, heartbeat stuttering.

“What the hell?” you snapped, louder than you meant to, the heat rising to your cheeks so fast it felt like fire, like shame, like panic. “Camila—what the actual—”

But she was already laughing, head thrown back, wine sloshing dangerously close to the rim of her glass as she looked at Ava, who only grinned and shrugged, clearly amused by your reaction. “Relax,” Camila said through her giggles, waving a hand like she could brush it all away. “I’m just saying. The flannel? The beard? He’s got that, like, hot handyman-slash-mountain-man energy. You know I have a type.”

You blinked at her, words stuck in your throat, your brain short-circuiting beneath the weight of something you didn’t want to name—something clawing up your ribs like guilt. You wanted to tell her she was out of line. That it was gross. That Joel was married to your mother, for God’s sake. But instead, all you could manage was a choked-out, “He’s—he’s not—he’s—just—stop.”

And it was Ava’s turn to raise a brow, her smile a little too knowing. “You’re blushing,” she teased, her voice sing-song and cruel in the way only best friends could be. “Oh my God, she’s totally blushing.”

“I am not,” you snapped again, but your voice was unsteady, your face burning, your entire body suddenly too hot for the blanket draped over your lap. You shoved it off, stood up too fast, nearly tripping over the coffee table as you made your way toward the kitchen, trying to pretend like you weren’t unravelling, like your skin wasn’t tingling in places it shouldn’t be.

Because they didn’t know.

They didn’t know the way Joel looked at you sometimes when your mother wasn’t watching. They didn’t know how his voice dropped when he said your name. They didn’t know how his hand had brushed your waist this morning when he reached past you for the sugar and you felt it for hours.

They didn’t know. And you were terrified they might find out.

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

Camila and Ava had long since fallen asleep in the downstairs guest room, their quiet breaths threading through the stillness of the house, the kind of deep, wine-soft sleep that only came with familiarity and full stomachs and the comfort of being a guest rather than the daughter. Upstairs, you lay in your childhood bedroom, the sheets cool against your skin, your fingers twisting absently in the hem of your tank top as you stared at the ceiling—unmoving, unblinking, like maybe if you kept your gaze steady enough, long enough, it might finally offer you answers to questions you didn’t know how to ask out loud.

It wasn’t that late yet—just brushing past midnight, the witching hour when everything felt thinner, when walls couldn’t hold in secrets and silence started to echo. You wondered if your mother and Joel were asleep already, or if they were still awake in the room down the hall, the one that used to be hers alone before he arrived with his heavy boots and toolbox and made himself at home. A small, traitorous part of you imagined them lying in bed together, her curled against his chest, his arm draped protectively around her waist as he whispered something low and fond into her hair.

You cringed at the image. Not because it was gross. Not because you didn’t want your mother to be happy. But because the weight that coiled inside your stomach at the thought of her in his arms wasn’t disgust—it was jealousy. Quiet, bitter, shame-soaked jealousy that tasted like guilt and felt like sin.

You turned onto your side, fingers pressing into the mattress like you could ground yourself with touch, like maybe if you pressed hard enough you’d stop the thoughts from blooming. But they kept coming, gentle and relentless, winding themselves around you like ivy. You wondered if either of them had noticed the way you always looked away when they kissed in front of you, or the way you flinched ever so slightly when their hands found each other in passing, fingers laced like it meant nothing, like it was normal.

Maybe they thought you were still adjusting. Maybe your mother thought it was some kind of unresolved grief for your father, that you couldn’t accept the idea of her moving on so quickly, tying herself to someone new. Maybe Joel thought it was awkwardness, or disapproval, or some adolescent refusal to see him as a part of the family.

But the truth was far more dangerous. Far more complicated.

Because you weren’t mourning the past. You weren’t angry about her happiness. You were mourning something else entirely—something unspoken and selfish and terrifying.

You were mourning every moment he touched her and not you. Every laugh he gave her and not you. Every soft glance, every private kiss, every piece of him that she got to keep while you sat in the corner pretending you didn’t notice, pretending you didn’t care.

Your thoughts—feverish and tangled and too loud in your head—were suddenly interrupted by a soft knock against the wooden door, three gentle taps that pulled you back to earth so abruptly you nearly sat upright. You thought, for a second, maybe one of the girls had left something behind—toothpaste on the bathroom counter or a charger cord tucked beneath the sheets—so you called out without thinking, your voice barely carrying across the room.

“Come in.”

The door creaked open with a slow, careful push, and instead of Camila or Ava’s familiar silhouette, it was him—Joel. His broad frame filled the doorway, shadowed in the dim hallway light, shoulders hunched ever so slightly like he hadn’t meant to startle you, one hand braced against the doorframe like he was still deciding whether to step fully inside.

You reached instinctively for your side lamp, fingers fumbling with the switch until warm yellow light bathed the room, casting everything in a soft, golden hush. You blinked up at him, eyes adjusting, breath catching at the sight of him standing there like some kind of fever dream.

“Joel?” you asked, your voice coming out quieter than you intended, breathless not from surprise but from the sheer weight of his presence, the way he looked in that moment—undone, unguarded, real in a way that made your skin prickle.

“Hey, darlin’,” he said, that low, southern drawl curling around the words like smoke, as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him with a gentle click that sounded far too loud in the silence of the house.

He looked—God, he looked like trouble.

Hair mussed from sleep, silver at the temples and curling slightly where it met the nape of his neck, beard soft and full, still flecked with that salt-and-pepper scruff that made him look older than he was but somehow stronger for it. He wore a plain, threadbare t-shirt, stretched across his chest in a way that made your stomach tighten, sleeves rolled just enough to show the veins in his forearms, the kind that only ever came from years of labor, of building things with his hands. His grey sweatpants hung low on his hips, worn soft with age, and barefoot—he looked every bit the rugged, rough-edged man who fixed your mom’s house and accidentally broke something inside of you.

It wasn’t technically unusual for Joel to be in your room—sometimes he’d swing by to drop off something you left in the kitchen, or fix the ceiling fan that rattled in summer, or bring you tea when you were sick and shivering in bed, too weak to do anything but mumble thanks. He’d stand by the door usually, or maybe lean against the wall, say something gruff but kind before disappearing again.

But not like this.

Not late at night. Not when the rest of the house was asleep. Not when you were lying in bed in nothing but a thin camisole and panties, heart stuttering like it didn’t know what to do with itself.

You shifted again, this time a little more nervously, the sheet clutched tighter around your lap even though it did nothing to hide the way your body responded to his presence—your skin flushed and warm, your breath shallow, nipples still visibly peaked beneath the whisper-thin fabric of your top. You saw it then, the way Joel’s gaze flickered, just for a second, dragging across your chest before meeting your eyes again, and something about the way he didn’t look away fast enough made your stomach twist into knots. He wasn’t trying to pretend. He wasn’t playing dumb.

He came to sit on the edge of your bed, the mattress dipping under his weight, the motion tilting you slightly toward him. He braced one hand beside him, the other resting loosely on his knee. “Were you asleep?” he asked, voice low, his drawl even rougher at this hour, as if it had crawled up from his chest and hadn’t quite settled in his throat yet.

You shook your head slowly, trying not to look too guilty, too obvious. “No,” you said quietly. “I… couldn’t sleep.”

Joel nodded, like he already knew, like maybe that’s why he was really here, not because he happened to be passing by. “Your friends were nice,” he said after a pause, the corner of his mouth twitching into something that could’ve been amusement—or warning. “That Camila though… she’s trouble.”

You let out a small, breathy laugh, the sound a little shaky as you tried to exhale the nerves tightening inside your chest. “Yeah,” you said, nodding. “She is.”

Joel looked at you for a long moment, the silence stretching thin, and then asked, voice low and even, “You have fun?”

You answered too quickly. “Yeah.”

He didn’t miss it. His brow furrowed, not deeply, just enough to signal that he’d caught something he didn’t like, that he could hear the wrongness in your tone the way he could spot a crooked nail from across a room. “What’s wrong?” he asked, that same hand still braced on the bed beside you, his fingers so close to your thigh you could feel the heat of him even through the sheet.

“Nothing,” you said, shaking your head, eyes darting away before you could stop them. “It’s nothing, Joel.”

He tilted his head, slow, deliberate, voice soft but firm like he was coaxing the truth out of you the same way he might coax a wild animal from the woods. “C’mon, sweetheart. You know you’re not a great liar.”

Your throat went tight. You pressed your lips together, tried to hold it in, tried to act normal, tried to act like your skin wasn’t tingling in every place he was near.

“It’s stupid,” you murmured. “Just… one of them said something. Kinda weird.”

Joel straightened a little, his eyes narrowing with something darker, a flicker of protectiveness tightening his jaw. “Weird?” he repeated, his voice sharper now. “They say somethin’ mean to you?”

“No—no, nothin’ like that,” you rushed to say, shaking your head, heart beating hard enough that you were sure he could hear it in the quiet room. “It wasn’t mean. Just…”

He waited. He didn’t speak right away, just tilted his head slightly, the soft creak of the mattress the only sound between you as he waited for you to gather the courage to speak.

“They said something,” you murmured finally, voice barely above a whisper, your eyes trained on your fingers where they twisted nervously in your lap, knuckles white from the tension you refused to let rise to the surface. “About you.”

Joel was quiet for a beat, then let out a low, careful hum. “Oh,” he said, not shocked, not offended, just… waiting. Another pause. “Okay.”

You looked up at him then, meeting his gaze for the first time since the words had started tumbling from your mouth, and it felt like standing too close to the sun—too warm, too intense, too dangerous. His eyes were calm, steady, and yet you felt like they were peeling layers off you without even trying.

“You can tell me,” he coaxed, his voice the softest kind of gruff, the kind that scratched gently at your throat and made you ache in places you didn’t have names for. “Ain’t gonna get upset, sweetheart. Promise.”

You swallowed hard, your heart thudding louder now, the heat creeping up your throat in a slow, mortifying wave as you looked down again. “They just…” you huffed, frustrated with your own inability to say something so simple, so ridiculous, even though it had been clawing at your thoughts all night.

“They said you were…” you trailed off, then forced yourself to look up, cheeks burning as you finally let the words escape. “They said you were ‘hot,’” you mumbled, using your fingers to make sarcastic little quotation marks in the air, the motion clumsy and half-hearted, your voice wrapped in embarrassment and something else—something you couldn’t disguise.

Joel blinked slowly, like he was processing it carefully.

He just sat there, eyes fixed on you, expression unreadable but far from indifferent, and in the quiet that followed, something in the air shifted. It was subtle—barely a breath—but it was there. Heavy. Humming. Like the moment before a summer storm breaks.

And then, finally, in that low, quiet drawl that had already undone you more times than you cared to admit, Joel tilted his head and said, “That right?”

You gave the smallest nod, unable to find your voice, your cheeks hot under the weight of his gaze.

He chuckled, and it was somehow worse than silence—warm and familiar and achingly beautiful, the kind of laugh that wrapped around you like smoke, like comfort, like danger disguised as something gentle. “That’s what’s got you all twisted up, honey?” he asked, his voice teasing now, smooth as whiskey and just as sharp. “That why you’re up past midnight, lookin’ like you got somethin’ sittin’ heavy on your chest?”

“I’m not upset,” you said quickly, the words spilling out too fast, too defensive. “It’s just—” you shrugged, eyes falling to your lap again, “weird.”

Joel raised an eyebrow, the mattress shifting slightly beneath his weight as he leaned in just enough to make you feel it—his presence, his size, the scent of him that smelled like cedar and something warmer, deeper, something male. “Ain’t that weird,” he said, like it was fact. Like you were the one being unreasonable.

You blinked at him, heart stumbling over itself. “What?”

He shrugged, one corner of his mouth tugging into a half-smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “What—you think I’m hideous or somethin’, darlin’?” he asked, voice laced with mock offense, but there was something beneath it, something hot and coiled and barely leashed.

“No,” you said quickly, instinctively, your body tensing. “No, but—”

Joel cut you off with a slow, quiet laugh, the kind that sent goosebumps across your arms. “D’you agree with your friend?” he asked, his voice quieter now, lower, thicker, like molasses sliding slow over bare skin. “Simple question, angel.”

You swallowed hard, every part of your body suddenly too aware of itself—your hands, your legs beneath the sheet, the way your breath caught in your throat. “I—” you stammered. “You’re my—my stepdad. It’s weird.”

Joel’s expression didn’t shift. He didn’t laugh. He didn’t flinch. He just watched you, calm and steady, as if your panic was a ripple in a pond he’d already seen coming.

“Ain’t weird,” he said again, this time definitively, like he was putting the matter to rest, the final nail in a coffin you didn’t even realize you’d built together. “You’re my stepdaughter, sure,” he said, voice slow, smooth, dragging each word like he wanted you to feel them deep in your chest, “but that don’t change the fact that you’re a goddamn stunnin’ girl.”

Your breath hitched.

His eyes flicked down for a heartbeat—your lips, your collarbone, the outline of your thighs beneath the sheet—before meeting yours again. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with seein’ beauty, even if it’s standin’ right in front of me in my own house. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with noticin’.”

His hand flexed again against the mattress beside you, the muscles in his forearm shifting subtly, a quiet tension that mirrored the storm building between your ribs.

“Ain’t nothin’ wrong with wantin’, either,” he said again, and this time it wasn’t casual or dismissive—it was low, like a confession, like he meant every word, like he wasn’t just talking about himself.

Your breath hitched, your chest rising too fast, falling too slow, and before you could control it, your thighs—hot and aching beneath the thin layer of sheets—pressed tighter together in a desperate attempt to calm the pulsing ache that had bloomed low in your stomach. But it was no use. Your body betrayed you before your mouth could even try to lie.

And Joel saw it.

Of course he saw it. He always did.

He let his gaze drop, just for a moment—just long enough to trace the path of your clenched jaw, your flushed chest, the twitch of the blanket where your legs shifted beneath it—before dragging his eyes back up to yours with a slowness that made your skin feel like it might catch fire under the weight of it.

“It’s wrong,” you said, barely more than a breath, and even you could hear how unconvincing it sounded. Your voice faltered halfway through the sentence, like your mouth was trying to say something your heart didn’t believe.

Joel’s lips parted in a soft, nearly pitying sound, almost like a laugh—but gentler, rougher, like he was mourning the guilt you were dragging behind you like a chain. “That why you’re squirming, sweetheart?” he asked, voice like gravel and honey, rich and wrecked and too kind for the words it carried. “Sittin’ there all flustered, lookin’ at me like I done somethin’ to you?”

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t. The air felt thick enough to drown in.

Joel leaned in just a little, his voice dipping lower, like the walls had ears and he didn’t want anyone else to hear what he was about to say.

“Ain’t nothin’ wrong with me takin’ care of you,” he murmured, slow and steady like it was the most natural thing in the world. “Makin’ you feel good. Keepin’ you safe. It's my job, ain’t it?”

You swallowed hard, and he saw that too.

He kept going, not touching you, not even leaning closer—just letting his voice wrap around you like his hands would, if you asked.

“These boys your age… they don’t know how to treat you,” he said, his mouth curving into something soft, something almost sad. “Don’t know how to be patient. Don’t know how to listen.”

His hand shifted slightly on the mattress, just enough to make the sheets pull tight where his thigh pressed close to yours.

“They’ll rush you,” he said, voice barely a whisper now. “Use you up. Leave you empty.”

He let the words hang, heavy and devastating.

“I’d never do that to you, baby.”

You let out a soft sound—breathless, choked, almost involuntary—the kind of desperate little noise you might’ve tried to bury into a pillow if you were alone, but now it just slipped out, raw and real and open, hanging there in the charged air between you.

Joel’s eyes darkened instantly, and his voice followed like a velvet trap. “Aw, angel,” he cooed, low and dripping with something syrup-thick and sinful, “you’re aching, ain’t ya?”

You nodded, barely, shame crawling up your spine, your thighs clenching again under the sheets like you could hide the truth from a man who already saw it, already knew. And yet… you nodded. You nodded because it was true. Because every cell in your body felt hot and heavy and needy in a way you couldn’t soothe on your own anymore.

“Ain’t nothin’ to be embarrassed about, sweetpea,” he murmured, shaking his head slow like you’d just said something silly, something naive. “It’s normal,” he added gently, like this was a lesson. Like he was here to teach. “You’re a girl with needs, and I’m a man who understands ‘em. Ain’t nothin’ dirty about that.”

His hand came up, calloused fingers brushing your cheek with a kind of reverence that made you dizzy, his thumb stroking softly under your eye like he could smooth the guilt out of you if he just touched you gently enough. “Sweet girl,” he whispered, so low it made your chest ache, “always so good for me.”

You felt warm all over, like something inside you had melted and was slowly seeping into every inch of your body, like honey left in the sun.

Joel leaned back just slightly, humming low in his throat, eyes never leaving yours, like he was thinking—weighing something. And then, in a tone so casual, so infuriatingly calm it made your stomach twist, he said, “How ‘bout I help you out, huh?”

You blinked, confused, dazed, the words hitting you like warm water to the face. “Help me?” you asked, voice small and hesitant, caught between fear and want, your hands twisting in the sheets like they might anchor you to the moment.

He nodded slowly, his hand sliding from your cheek to rest on your knee—over the sheet, but the heat of it still bled through like a brand. “I want you to show me, baby,” he said, his voice still soft, still that same gentle, soothing register, like he wasn’t asking you to cross a line you could never come back from. “Show me how you do it when you’re all alone.”

Your breath caught. Your face burned. The blush that bloomed across your cheeks felt like it went all the way down to your chest, to your core, to every private place you’d ever touched in the dark.

“I—Joel,” you stammered, but your voice crumbled before it could form a protest.

He tilted his head, squeezing your knee through the sheet, patient and unbothered. “Ain’t nothin’ to be shy about, angel,” he said, his voice dipping lower, rougher. “You think I don’t know you been lyin’ here at night touchin’ that sweet little pussy all quiet-like, tryin’ not to make a sound?” He let out a low chuckle, but there was no cruelty in it—just warmth, affection, like you’d done something precious.

“Bet you rub that clit nice and slow, tryin’ to make it last, huh?” he murmured, eyes locked on your face, watching every tiny reaction like he was reading scripture. “Bet you squeeze your thighs together after, all messy ‘n wet, pretendin’ you’re not thinkin’ ‘bout me.”

You buried your face in your hands, humiliated and flushed, but Joel’s voice pulled you right back out, soft but firm. “C’mon now. Be a good girl and show me.”

You hid your face in your hands, hot with shame, your entire body throbbing with heat, soaked in places you didn’t dare acknowledge, and still trembling with that same awful, beautiful ache—the one that told you this was wrong, and yet made it impossible to pull away.

You were mortified, confused, soaked to your thighs and full of a desperate longing that made your skin feel too tight, your thoughts tangled and wet and unbearable.

Joel chuckled softly, the sound low and warm, curling in your stomach like smoke. “You trust me, don’t you?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, gentle and coaxing and so sure of the answer he didn’t need to hear it.

But you nodded anyway, fingers twitching as you lowered your hands just enough to meet his gaze, tears brimming in your eyes though you didn’t even know what you were crying for.

“Good girl,” he murmured, and that phrase—good girl—broke something loose inside of you, made your breath catch and your throat tighten like it meant something more than just praise. Like it meant ownership. Like it meant love.

Then, in a voice that was suddenly lower, rougher, more dangerous and yet still laced with the same softness that made your stomach flip, he said, “Now go on, baby. Show your daddy how you take care of that pretty little pussy when you’re all alone, thinkin’ ‘bout me.”

You whimpered, the sound barely making it past your lips, and shook your head a little, helpless. “I—I don’t know what to do,” you whispered, your voice cracking like it was made of glass.

Joel gave a quiet, affectionate sigh, like you’d just said the sweetest thing he’d ever heard. “That’s alright, sugar,” he said, sliding a heavy hand beneath the sheet and letting it rest there for just a moment before slowly, deliberately, peeling it back.

You froze as the cool air met your bare skin, the way his eyes didn’t look away, didn’t hesitate, just drank you in like this was the most natural thing in the world, like he wasn’t your stepfather and this wasn’t your childhood bed, like this was inevitable.

“Let’s take this off then,” he said, more to himself than to you, as he folded the sheet down past your hips, your thighs, your trembling legs, until you lay there exposed, vulnerable, soaked through your panties with shame and arousal.

Joel’s eyes swept over your bare thighs, lingering on the soaked fabric clinging to the soft curve of your cunt, the way it shimmered faintly in the low lamp light like it was glowing—wet, messy, desperate. You hadn’t even touched yourself yet, hadn’t done more than breathe, and still, your body had betrayed you, eager and hungry and utterly undone just from the sound of his voice, the scrape of his knuckles, the weight of his gaze.

And Joel saw it.

Of course he did.

He let out a soft, almost pitying coo as he shook his head, tongue pressing briefly to the inside of his cheek like he was trying to hold back a sigh. “Honey,” he murmured, slow and low, that molasses drawl laced with disappointment more than anything else. “You’re drippin’, baby.”

The words weren’t cruel, but they still cut through you like a knife, made your skin prickle and your breath catch, not because he was mocking you—but because it was the truth. Because it was said like a reproach, like he was gently scolding you for keeping this from him. Like he was hurt.

“Jesus,” he whispered, shaking his head again, the softest furrow in his brow. “You waitin’ this long to ask for help, baby? Layin’ up here, soaked and achin’, all by yourself?” His voice dropped even lower, eyes still fixed on the wet patch that was growing darker by the second. “That ain’t good for you, sweetpea. All that tension. Sittin’ in your belly like poison. You know better than that.”

You whimpered, small and mortified, your eyes stinging with some ugly cocktail of shame and want and that unbearable tenderness only Joel could wring out of you.

“You shoulda come to me,” he said, as soft as a prayer, his hand drifting up to rest against your thigh, close but not touching—not yet. “Coulda knocked on my door, baby. Just a tap. I’d’ve taken care of you real easy. Real sweet.” He let out a quiet sigh, like this hurt him more than it hurt you. “But instead you’re up here, rubbin’ those pretty little thighs together like that’s gonna do the job.”

You whimpered again—quiet and pathetic, a sound barely born before it trembled out of your lips—and Joel made a sound that was halfway between a groan and a sigh, his whole body shifting like it hurt him to hear you like that, like your suffering was something sacred. “My sweet girl,” he rasped, rough with reverence, and as if the words alone weren’t enough to mark you, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your temple, slow and tender and terrifying in its intimacy.

You froze.

It was almost absurd—after everything, after the confessions, after the filthy words spoken in soft murmurs, after sitting in your soaked underwear before him like an offering—but that kiss, that small, chaste brush of lips to skin, shattered you in a different way. You and Joel had never shared physical affection beyond fleeting, innocent moments—a hand to your back when you were sick, a brush of shoulders in the kitchen, the occasional hand-off of a cup of tea or a charger cord. But this? This was different. This was personal. This was loving.

More intimate than anything else he could have done.

And then, his voice dropped again, low and drawling, thick with heat and authority. “Alright,” he said, his tone like velvet soaked in whiskey. “Take those panties off real slow for me, sugar. I wanna see that sweet pussy beg.”

Your breath caught hard in your throat, your fingers twitching against the sheets, and for a second you didn’t move—couldn’t move—because the words had landed so heavy, like a weight dropped into your chest. But then, with trembling hands and a heart that felt too big for your ribs, you obeyed.

You reached down, fingers hooking into the waistband of your underwear, soaked through and clinging to your skin, and began to ease them down, slow and hesitant, your eyes flickering up to meet his just once, just long enough to see the way his gaze had darkened—hungry, wild, but still soft. Still Joel.

The damp fabric peeled away from you, shame dripping off you in waves as you slid the panties down your thighs, over your knees, until they slipped past your ankles and landed in a silent heap on the floor beside the bed.

You were breathless now—your chest rising and falling in shallow little gasps, your skin flushed from head to toe, your legs trembling beneath you—and you didn’t even know if it was from fear or want or that horrible, beautiful mixture of both.

Joel didn’t say anything at first. He just looked.

Eyes fixed between your legs, steady and unhurried, drinking in the sight of you like it was something holy, something he didn’t quite deserve to see but was going to relish anyway. His gaze was slow, heavy, and unbearably calm—as if he hadn’t just coaxed you into peeling off your soaked panties and baring yourself in the soft hush of your childhood bedroom with the door shut and your mother asleep down the hall.

And then, in that voice—low, rough, coated in syrup and sin—he spoke.

“Spread them legs for me, baby,” he murmured, each word drawn out like he wanted them to linger in the air with you. “Let daddy see all that slick.”

Your cheeks flushed so hot it made your head spin, and for a second, your instinct was to turn away, to close your legs, to hide. But instead—God help you—you smiled, small and shy and aching with embarrassment and need, your body humming with the unbearable thrill of being seen.

Joel smiled too—lazy, pleased, touched with something warmer than it had any right to be. “That’s my good girl,” he said, the praise so soft and familiar it made your chest ache. “Gettin’ comfortable for your daddy, ain’t ya?”

You nodded, almost bashful, your thighs parting just a little wider beneath his gaze, the air cool against your soaked skin as the wet heat between your legs pulsed steady and demanding.

“Alright, sweetheart,” he said, his voice sinking even lower, that dangerous softness thickening into something you could feel in your bones. “Go ahead. Show me how you rub that sweet clit.”

You hesitated only for a moment, heart pounding so loud it was all you could hear, and then—because you couldn’t not obey him, because the way he was looking at you made you feel small and precious and filthy all at once—you did as he said.

Your fingers slid between your thighs, tentative and trembling, and when they brushed over your swollen folds, a broken little gasp left your mouth—because you were soaked, slick, messy in a way that made your face burn with shame, and Joel saw all of it. Your fingertips found your clit, swollen and begging, and you gave it the lightest, slowest circle, your legs twitching as your breath stuttered.

Joel let out a low groan, like the sight pained him, like he was holding himself back from something feral. “That’s it, baby,” he rasped, his eyes fixed to your fingers like he was hypnotized. “Touch her real gentle. Let her know daddy’s watchin’.”

“That feel good?” he asked, voice low and slow, like he already knew the answer but wanted to hear it—wanted it offered up like a gift on your trembling tongue.

You nodded, breath shaky, fingers still working soft circles against your clit the way he told you to, hips twitching just a little with every pass. “Y-Yeah,” you whispered, too dazed to even pretend you had shame left in you.

Joel tilted his head slightly, that familiar crease forming between his brows, not angry—just expectant, like a teacher waiting for the right answer from a student who already knew better. “Yeah what, baby?”

You swallowed, chest fluttering with nerves and something hotter, deeper, heavier. Your voice was barely a whisper when it left you, breath catching halfway through.

“Yes, Daddy.”

The sound he made in response was filthy—a low, deep groan rumbling straight from his chest, so raw it made your thighs twitch and your core clench. You could see it in his face, the way his jaw went tight, how his hand flexed again where it lay on the bed, like he was holding himself back from something that required restraint.

“Good girl,” he murmured, and those two words—so soft, so reverent—landed heavier than anything else, sinking into your skin like praise and ownership all at once. And then, with a tenderness so at odds with the filth between you, he placed one big, warm hand on your thigh—his thumb brushing soothing little arcs into your skin—and leaned in to press a quick, burning kiss to your shoulder, beard scraping against your skin, his breath hot and damp where his lips had just been.

“You’re doin’ so good for me, baby,” he whispered, barely pulling back. “Such a sweet girl—touchin’ herself just like Daddy asked.”

You whimpered, spine curving as your fingers moved faster now, helpless under the weight of his words, his touch, his eyes. You did as he said—not because you had to, not because he forced you, but because the sound of his voice, the heat in his gaze, the approval dripping from every word made you want to be good. Made you want to be his.

“Keep goin’, sugar,” Joel said, his hand tightening just slightly on your thigh. “Let Daddy see you fall apart. Let me see what that sweet little pussy looks like when she comes.”

Your fingers moved faster now, slick and shaky, the soft pressure turning greedy, desperate, your hips rising off the bed in tiny, involuntary pulses as the heat in your belly began to coil tighter, higher. The room was filled with the wet sound of your arousal—loud, obscene, almost embarrassing in how eager you were—and still Joel said nothing for a moment, just watched, eyes dark and full of something you couldn’t name, something between awe and hunger and ownership.

He inhaled deeply through his nose, like he was trying to commit the sound, the scent, the sight of you to memory, and his voice dropped an octave, ragged around the edges.

“Look so fuckin’ sweet spread out like this for me, baby,” he said, almost like it hurt to say, like the words tasted too good in his mouth to come out clean. “My precious girl… puttin’ on the prettiest damn show a man could ask for.”

Your breath hitched at his praise, your thighs twitching, fingers circling your clit faster now, harder, your other hand clutching the sheets like you’d fall through the bed without it.

“You gettin’ close, sweetheart?” Joel asked then, and his voice—low, rough, tender—wrapped around your body like a second skin, like heat itself. “That little pussy about to come just from your fingers, huh? Just from daddy watchin’ real nice?”

You nodded, too frantic to form words, mouth falling open in a soft gasp as your body trembled beneath his gaze, every nerve ending alive and raw.

He leaned in just a little, resting his forearm on his knee like this was casual, like this was just a late-night conversation and not your stepfather watching you masturbate in your childhood bed.

“That’s it,” Joel murmured, voice thick with hunger but still achingly gentle, like he was speaking to something sacred, something tender and breakable. “Good girl—look at that messy lil’ cunt cryin’ for me, fuckin’ weepin’ like she’s been starved her whole goddamn life.”

And that was it.

The coil snapped.

You came undone with a shattered, strangled whimper, hips jerking beneath your own hand as the orgasm ripped through you like heat lightning—fast and sharp and blinding. Your whole body shook, your thighs clenching tight around your wrist as slick spilled out of you in wet pulses, and the only thing tethering you to earth was the sound of Joel groaning, low and ruined, like the sight of you breaking for him had knocked the breath clean out of his lungs.

“Fuckin’ hell, baby…” he rasped, watching your body twitch and flutter through the aftershocks. “That’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Before you could even come down from the high—before you could catch your breath or close your legs—Joel shifted forward, leaned in, and pressed the softest kiss to your still-pulsing, overstimulated clit.

You shuddered, your legs trembling violently, your whole body jerking like you’d been shocked, because it was too much—too much—and still, he kissed you there, soft and wet, like it was a mouth made to be worshiped, and he had every right to worship it.

“Can't wait to eat this sweet pussy all fuckin’ day,” he muttered against your folds, so filthy it made your toes curl. “Could live off what she gives me.”

You let out a noise—half a sob, half a gasp—your legs twitching in overstimulation, your chest heaving, eyes wide and glassy with something too big to name.

Then Joel was moving—pulling back, licking his lips like he’d just tasted something divine, and reaching for your face with hands that were still so gentle it made you ache. He cradled your cheek like you were porcelain, and leaned in close, eyes locked to yours.

And then, for the first time, he kissed you.

It was dizzying—soft and sensual, lips slow and reverent, his breath fanning across your cheek as his mouth moved over yours like he’d been waiting a lifetime to do it right. No filth. No commands. Just Joel. Just him.

When he pulled back, his forehead just barely grazing yours, he looked at you like you were the only thing in the whole damn world worth saving—like he’d burn the house down if it meant you’d never feel lonely again. His thumb brushed tenderly across your lower lip, tracing the shape of your mouth like it belonged to him, and his voice dropped into a soft, hushed whisper.

“I’m so proud of you, baby,” he murmured, reverent, wrecked, like you’d just done something brave instead of obscene.

“You… are?” you asked, barely able to get the words out around the haze still curling in your chest, that dazed warmth thick and dizzying in your veins.

“‘Course I am,” he said instantly, the words falling out with such quiet certainty it made your chest tighten, his voice steady and heartbreakingly sincere, like there wasn’t even the possibility of doubt in his mind. His thumb brushed your cheek again, slow and warm, and he looked at you with something so proud and tender it nearly broke you. “You were real brave for me, sugar. So sweet. So good.”

His voice dipped lower, softer now, almost like he was sharing a secret meant for your skin alone.

“Touched yourself like an angel, baby. Like you were made to be watched.” He let out a shaky breath, still a little wrecked himself, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe it. “The way you spread those thighs, all flushed and achin’... shit, sweet girl, you made yourself come so pretty for me. Like you’d been waitin’ your whole life to let someone see.”

And God help you, but you smiled at that, soft and small and shy, your heart thudding unevenly in your chest as you leaned back up to kiss him again—slow, sweet, a little unsure but filled with something quiet and blooming.

He moaned against your lips, low and approving, one hand cradling your jaw as he deepened the kiss for just a moment, like he couldn’t help himself, like the taste of your mouth was something he’d never stop craving.

“Gonna keep makin’ you feel good like you deserve, sweetpea,” he whispered when he finally pulled back, pressing a kiss to your cheek, then the corner of your mouth, then your jaw. “Just gotta get you ready for me first, yeah? Can’t rush somethin’ this special.”

“Okay,” you breathed, and the sound of your own voice surprised you—how soft it was, how trusting.

Joel smiled like he already had forever planned out.

“Good girl,” he said, and your heart stuttered. Then, with a gentleness that made your throat ache, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead, his hand brushing back your hair like you were something cherished.

“Now get some sleep,” he whispered. “Daddy’s right here.”

And he stayed—just like that—sitting on the edge of your bed, hand still resting lightly on your thigh, as your eyes fluttered closed, your body sore and soaked and safe in the dark.

[gibscngirls]

mourning the life i’m supposed to have: raider!joel’s free use whore

run

Raider! Joel Miller x Female Reader

*moodboard is for aesthetic purposes only. no mention of reader’s race or skin tone.

summary: When you’re given the chance to run from your captor, you don’t take it.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. RAIDER ERA. DARK!JOEL. DUBCON. MENTIONS PREVIOUS NONCON. UNSPECIFIED AGE GAP (reader is in her 20’s and Joel is 50). reader is described washing her hair (the exact length is not specified) and she wears a dress. she is also shorter than Joel. violence, kidnapping, reader has major stockholm syndrome, Joel is fairly soft for her but HE IS STILL NOT A GOOD MAN, brief mention of Tess and Joel being involved with each other, Tess seems like the villain but she might actually be the only one of these three who is not totally fucked up in the head. SMUT. daddy kink. size difference (no description of reader’s body type, Joel is just a big guy with a big dick, enjoy it). oral sex (female receiving), super risky unprotected p in v sex (mention of reader ovulating, Joel pulls out, don’t be be like these two, practice safe sex), creampie (yeah he doesn’t give a fuck the second time around). many, many pet names (baby, baby girl, honey, angel, sweetheart, little girl). um i think that’s it. oh, and they fuck in the dirt.

PLEASE HEED ALL WARNINGS.

word count: 8.6k

a/n: one thing about me is i WILL soften up EVERY version of Joel Miller to my little heart’s content. HUGE HUGE thank you to @endlessthxxghts and @joelsdagger for lending me their eyes and beta-ing this fic for me last night. <33 i love and appreciate you guys SO MUCH. i loved seeing you both in the doc at the same exact time lmao. this can be read as a standalone, but it is considered part of the captive universe.

Everyone in the group has a job. Except for you.

Or at least, that’s what you hear them say.

That bitch doesn’t do shit.

She never has to lift a fucking finger.

She should work for her meal—just like the rest of us.

Bitterness laces their tones when they talk about you.

Insults grow a little bolder when he’s not around.

Useless.

Freeloader.

Leech.

You might not be out there with a rifle in hand hunting game or invading camps and spilling blood for supplies—but you do in fact have a job, and that job is to make Joel Miller happy. It is your responsibility, your duty, to please him, and to keep him satisfied. Because keeping him satisfied keeps him in a good mood, and one thing you’ve come to learn about your captor is, where there is a good mood, often there is mercy.

Hell, you’re doing them a favor by keeping their violent, fearsome leader in a good mood. Because you’ve seen what he does to them when he’s not. He can be just as brutal towards his own people as he is to strangers.

It doesn’t make a difference, though. They still see you as nothing more than his coddled little whore.

“Fuck, that’s it.”

He groans, his thick, callused fingers digging harshly into the softness of your flesh as he holds you firmly in place underneath him. “Oh fuck, baby girl,” Joel curses through gritted teeth, his hands gripping your hips as he uses his own weight against you, pressing you down into the old mattress until you feel every uncomfortable lump, each creaking spring.

While he isn’t fucking you as roughly as he has on other occasions, he’s hardly being gentle. It’s hard, fast.

Loud.

Joel couldn’t care less about the rest of the group, the men and women on the other side of the wall, forced to listen to the sounds coming from the single bedroom of the cabin he decided they would hunker down in for the remainder of the summer season. Strings of curses and brutish grunts that came rumbling from deep within his chest, pleading gasps and whimpers that fell from your swollen, bitten lips. If anything, knowing they were listening only spurred him on—it didn’t hurt to remind them, especially the men with wandering eyes, that you were his special girl.

His good girl.

You certainly did your job, and you did it so, so well.

“Christ, sweetheart. M’so fuckin’ close—” Joel picks up speed, his hips snapping even harder, faster, the front of his thighs slapping against the backs of yours. Each thrust causes the bed’s rusted, iron headboard to slam violently against the wood panel wall.

You clutch fistfuls of the single, stale, yellowing sheet beneath you, each stroke he delivers knocking the wind out of your lungs, making it harder to breathe. He is so heavy on top of you, this big, broad, bulk of a man who makes you feel swallowed, smothered, and small. Joel takes up so much room inside of you, and it’s a wonder how you could possibly have any space left to spare.

It’s a fullness you can’t seem to get enough of.

It’s a craving, a need.

Worst of all, it’s slowly becoming a want.

“Daddy,” you choke out, fisting the sheet tighter, your skin stretching taut over your knuckles. Can the others also hear the squelch of your drenched cunt around his cock as it begs him for more?

“Fuck. You’re doin’ so fuckin’ good for me, baby,” Joel croons his praise. His hands abandon your hips and he hunches over you, his thrusts momentarily ceasing. He crushes his chest against your sweaty, quivering back and leans forward even further, bracing his large hands on either side of you. Then, his lips move to the shell of your ear and he speaks, his breath blazing hot on your skin. “Y’take me so well, honey. Y’take Daddy’s cock so fuckin’ well. This pretty little pussy was fuckin’ made for me. She was made jus’ for me—ain’t that right, angel?”

He’s right.

Oh, how you fucking hated that he was right.

It was made for him. Your cunt. Your body. You.

Every part of you was made for him, and only for him.

All you can do is nod dumbly in agreement.

“Say it,” Joel whispers his firm command. “Wanna hear you say it. Be a good girl and use your words. Say it, say this pussy is made for me.”

“Yes, Daddy,” you moan obediently, prompting him to grin against your ear. “My pussy is made for you, just—just for you. No one—no one else. Only you.” Could this really be the same voice that would break, grow hoarse from screaming for him to stop? The same voice that would beg and plead for him to set you free?

Jutting his hips forward, Joel buries himself to the hilt, eliciting a noise from you, something caught between a pained whimper and a contented sigh. His balls, heavy and full for you, rest on your clit, which is still sensitive to the touch after he’d spent a majority of the morning with his head buried in between your legs. Desiring yet another release, you try wriggling around beneath him in a silent plea for more. More, more, more.

Please, Daddy. More.

Joel’s grin widens. He places one of his hands on your soft lower belly, fingers dragging down the slope of it until he finds the slick swell of your seam between your legs where his girth splits you open. “Ready, baby?”

Nodding, you open your mouth to answer him, but the sound of your own groan cuts you off when his fingers firmly circle around your throbbing, swollen bud. “Oh,” you breathe, instantly sinking right into his touch. Your eyes screw shut tightly in pleasure, and you throw your head back onto his shoulder. The scruff of his beard is rough on your cheek, and it burns, the same way it had burned the tender flesh of your inner thighs.

His hips find their rhythm as you rub against his hand—you’re almost there. He knows this, you can tell by the chuckle that thunders in his chest and against your back. But you’re too busy chasing your pleasure to be embarrassed.

He’s made you a needy, greedy girl.

“Daddy,” you mewl, trying your hardest to move under him, to work your cunt up and down on his cock. “I’m gonna come—” You gasp, back arching as Joel strokes in and out, his fingers rubbing your clit with urgency.

Joel plants a sloppy, wet kiss on your cheek. “Give it to me, baby,” he grunts. “C’mon. Lemme feel her squeeze me.”

Feeling how close he is too, you try to hold on for just a little bit longer, at least long enough to finish with him, but Joel’s relentless, and you’re forced off of the ledge you’re both standing on first.

Crying out, your walls spasm around him, asking to be filled until he’s made a complete mess out of you, until white leaks, and it slowly dribbles down the insides of your trembling thighs.

“Fuckin’ Christ,” Joel rasps. He lifts himself off you and he pulls out, taking his throbbing cock in his hand. His chest heaves as he fists himself, the wet sound of your slick in his palm filling the room. “Down,” he grits, and you obey him, lowering down yourself on the mattress until you’re lying almost completely flat before him. He gives himself one final stroke just as you look over your shoulder at him, the gentle flutter of your eyelashes the last push he needs. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck—” Joel spills his load, shooting thick ropes of warm cum along the soft curve of your spine.

You rest your cheek on your folded arms, biting back a small sigh.

He’s left behind an ache—you feel painfully empty.

But it was Tess, who had been given the task of helping you track your menstrual cycle, that had given him the warning earlier that morning. “She’s ovulating. Don’t be a fucking idiot, Joel. Last thing we need is for her to—”

“Relax,” he’d gruffed in response. “I fuckin’ know.”

Spent, Joel hunches over you once more and he lightly kisses the top of your head before burying his nose into your hair. “Good girl,” he murmurs. Affection that once was unwelcome and unwanted, that once made you feel sick to your fucking stomach, now makes you feel something else entirely. You’re not quite sure what it is, only that it’s warm. Comforting. “Y’did so well for me, sweetheart. Always do.”

Your lips curl into a faint, tired smile he doesn’t see.

A while later, you find yourself perched on the bed with the sheet wrapped around you, quietly watching as he gets dressed. “Daddy?” you say tentatively as he drops into a nearby chair to pull on his boots.

“What is it, baby girl?”

“Do you—do you think we can go to the creek today?”

Joel finishes lacing his boots and looks up at you.

“I’d really like to wash up,” you admit, softly. That, and you would like to see the light of day. He’d boarded up the windows with slabs of wood—sometimes, if you’re lucky, you get some decent light seeping through the teeny gaps.

“Not today, honey. I’ve got some things to take care of. Supplies are low, we gotta do a run. Don’t have the time to take you.” He stands and picks up his rifle, slinging the strap of it over his shoulder. Noticing the crestfallen expression on your face, Joel’s eyes soften. He walks over and gingerly cups the side of your face in his palm. His thumb strokes your cheek. “Promise I’ll take you to the creek tomorrow, sweetheart. First thing. Alright?”

Nodding, your eyes fall to your hands in your lap.

“Okay.”

Joel kisses your forehead, then leaves the room.

He makes sure to lock the door from the outside, and you can’t help but wonder if he knows locking you in is no longer necessary.

“I can take her.”

Joel’s dark eyes remain focused on the state map laid out on the table in front of him. “What the fuck are you talkin’ about, Tess?” He sees her in his periphery, but is too busy figuring out the group’s best route to look her way.

“I heard her asking you to take her to the creek so she can bathe,” she tells him. “I can take her.”

Finally, his head snaps up and he turns to her. “What?”

Tess leans her hip against the table, crossing her arms over her chest. “You and Tommy can take the group, go and take care of what you have to take care of. I’ll stay behind and take her down to the creek,” she suggests casually, as if she’s not asking him to trust her with his most prized possession—the only damn thing on what was left of this fucking earth Joel Miller actually gives a shit about. “Once she’s washed up, I’ll bring her back to the cabin and put her back into the room. Easy.”

Joel stares at her, bewildered. “What makes you think I’d fuckin’ allow somethin’ like that?”

“Oh, come on.” She huffs and rolls her eyes. “Anytime I bitch about having to do something for that girl, you’re on my fucking case about it, and now that I’m offering to do something for her, you don’t wanna let me?”

He shakes his head and lowers his voice. “You’re talkin’ about takin’ her outside, Tess. Without me.”

“The creek’s just a mile away,” Tess reminds him. “I’m pretty sure I can handle getting her there and back with no trouble, Joel.” When he says nothing, she cocks her head to the side and scoffs. “What? You don’t trust me enough to take her under my wing for a couple hours?”

Joel’s lips pull into a tight line. 

Of course he does. Tess was his right hand woman, his second in command.

He trusted her more than his own fucking brother. She had never given him any reason not to, had never given him a reason to doubt her loyalty to him. No, his lack of trust has nothing to do with Tess—but everything to do with you. He doesn’t trust you. He will never trust you.

“What if she tries to—?” He can’t even say it.

“Tries to what?” She pauses. “Run?”

His throat goes dry and he gives her a subtle nod.

Joel Miller was a bad man who did bad things, but you were his good. You’ve brought back some meaning into this wretched life of his, gave him something that felt a lot like a sense of purpose. You were something for him to take care of, to keep safe and protect.

Tess raises an eyebrow at him. “You think I’d even give her the chance? Besides, the girl’s not that stupid, Joel. She knows better than to try anything. She knows she wouldn’t get very fucking far.”

“Tess—”

“I’m just trying to do something nice for her. Besides, I think it might do her some good to be in the company of someone else for once—the company of a woman.”

Joel peers at her, taking a minute to think it over in his mind before asking, “You’ll have her back in the room before I get back to the cabin?”

“Long before then,” she swears. “All in one piece.”

He hesitates. He’s still not sure.

It’s then that he remembers that disappointed look on your sweet, pretty little face. “Alright,” he relents with a deep sigh. “I trust you, Tess.”

It always feels a bit strange to be outside.

But being outside without Joel?

It feels even stranger.

When he’d walked back into the room and told you Tess was willing to take you to the creek, the news had taken you by complete surprise. When he said he was willing to let her take you, that you almost couldn’t believe. It hadn’t even sunk in until the three of you stood outside the cabin and he was kissing your forehead sweetly in a temporary goodbye before turning to Tess.

“Never take your eyes off her,” he’d instructed her.

“She’ll behave.” She had smiled at you as she pulled her pistol from the waistband of her jeans, the gleam of the silver barrel catching your eye. “Isn’t that right?”

Swallowing dryly, you had answered with a strained, “Of course.”

She’s the last fucking person you wanted to cross. She was almost as terrifying as Joel, if not more.

“Tess? W-Where are we going?” you ask as you trudge along behind her, hoping you don’t sound as winded as you feel. Although you had no way to keep track of the time, it felt like you’d been trekking for at least an hour. Your feet are starting to hurt in your shoes—old, worn, yellow canvas sneakers that certainly weren’t made for hiking. “I don’t remember the creek being this far from the cabin.”

Tess snorts. “Don’t tell me you’re tired already.”

“It’s just—we’ve been walking for a really long time.”

She glances over her shoulder at you. “Here I thought you would be a little fucking grateful to be out getting some fresh air,” she chuckles, shaking her head before turning her attention back to the path ahead.

“I am,” you squeak, stumbling over a fallen branch.

Silence falls over the both of you.

“We’re not going to the creek,” Tess finally speaks after a minute. “I’m taking you somewhere else. Somewhere even better. Just trust me, kid. Now hurry up.”

It takes another hour before you reach your destination, and you hear it before you can even see it, a humming sound that turns into buzzing the closer you get. Then, you feel it, a vibration in the rocks beneath your feet. “Is that a—?” Stepping around her, your mouth falls open in absolute awe at the sight before you.

The waterfall is nestled right in between the trees and surges over the rocky mountain, throwing up bubbles of spray as it plunges into the lake at the bottom, and from there, it foams into a thick, white lather at the base. On the bank, where you stand, you spot different types of vegetation you couldn’t identify even if you tried—all you know is that it’s green, and it’s beautiful.

“This is incredible,” you gasp.

“Way better than some little creek, huh?” Tess tucks her pistol into the waistband of her jeans and shrugs off her pack. She digs around in the front pocket and pulls out something wrapped in a piece of crumpled brown tissue paper. She hands it to you. “Here.”

“What’s this?”

“Well, if you’d fucking open it, you would know,” Tess rolls her eyes. “It’s my last piece of soap. It’s all yours.”

Her kind generosity comes as a surprise—usually, Tess wanted nothing to do with you. But you don’t question it, and you certainly don’t turn the rare luxury down.

“Thanks,” you say, shooting her a grateful look.

Tess nods towards the body of water. “Alright, then. Go on and get to it.”

You take the piece of soap out the tissue. The scent of lavender is faint, but still very much there. Joel will like the smell of it on your skin tonight, you think.

As you start to pull the strap of your cotton blue dress down your shoulder, you feel her gaze fixed intently on you. Heat rushes to your cheeks. “Uh, aren’t you going to turn around?”

“For fuck’s sake,” she scoffs. “I’ve got what you’ve got. Now hurry up, we don’t have all fucking day.”

Nodding, you peel off your dress and underwear, your face on fire as the older woman’s eyes slowly drag over your naked body. Carefully, you step off the bank and wade into the water. It’s so clear that you can count the pebbles underneath your feet.

Leaning against a nearby tree, Tess calls out, “You have ten minutes! And stay out of the waterfall! Last thing I need is for you to fucking drown.”

As she lights a cigarette, you can’t help but stare at her. Her features, though worn down after the hell she had been through trying to survive the post outbreak world, are beautiful. Big, dark green eyes, a perfect nose, and full, pouty lips. There’s never been a doubt in your mind that she and Joel have been involved with one another, and lately, the mere thought of anything between them made you uncomfortable.

It’s an odd sensation deep in your gut—jealousy?

But what were you jealous of? Her having had him first?

It shouldn’t matter to you, but it does. Insecurities you have never in your life felt before seep into your bones.

“Anyone ever tell you it’s fucking rude to stare?” Tess quips, raising an eyebrow at you. She shoves her lighter into the back pocket of her jeans.

Nervously, you sink lower into the water, nibbling the inside of your cheek. “Tess? Can I ask you something?”

“What could you possibly fucking want to ask me?”

You hesitate.

“How—how long have you known each other?”

“Who?” Tess plucks the cigarette from between her lips and flicks the ashes. “Me and Joel?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

She shrugs. “Don’t know. Six, seven years?”

“How did you two meet?”

“Long story that’s none of your fucking business.”

You ask your next question before you lose your nerve. “Have you two ever—?” Unsure of how to phrase it, you stop and clamp your mouth shut in instant regret.

“Have we ever what?” Tess studies your face, and she quickly realizes what you’re trying to ask her. “You’re seriously asking me if me and Joel have ever fucked?”

Biting your bottom lip, you glance down into the water at your feet. You honestly don’t expect her to answer, so when she does, you look back up at her in surprise.

“Yeah.” She takes a long drag from her cigarette, then adds, “Few times.”

Something unpleasant claws at your insides. “You two were together? Like a couple?”

“Something like that,” Tess mutters, flicking her ashes once more.

“What happened?”

She looks at you, pausing before answering, “You.”

Oh.

Before you can utter another word, Tess snaps, “Quit asking so many goddamn fucking questions and finish up washing. You’ve got eight minutes left.”

Not wanting to push your luck further than you already have, you do as she tells you in complete silence.

You lather up the soap in your hands, washing your hair first, and then your face and body, using your hands to scrub yourself as best as you can. Between the calming scent of the soap, the soothing sound of the waterfall, and the warm afternoon sun, you find yourself relaxing. You try to clear your mind, live in this peaceful moment which you very well may never get again, but your mind begins to wander.

And it wanders straight to Joel.

Closing your eyes, you can’t help but picture him here, standing behind you in the lake. You can almost feel his hands on you, long, thick fingers lathered with lavender soap, sliding down your body. His lips at your neck, he cups your breasts in his hands, rolling his thumbs over your hardened nipples until your head lulls, falling back onto his shoulder. Joel drags his hands further down, over your stomach, going lower and lower towards the place where you need them the most. “Yeah, baby?” he murmurs into your neck, dipping one of them between your legs until you are, quite literally, in the palm of his hand. “This where y’need me?”

Breathless, you respond, “It’s where I want you.”

Suddenly, your eyes snap open.

There is a wetness between your thighs, one that has nothing to do with the fact that you’re standing waist-deep in the middle of a lake. You shake those thoughts away and finish washing yourself.

“Time’s up,” Tess calls. She meets you on the bank with a dry rag. “Here.”

The rag doesn’t exactly cover much surface area, but you dry yourself off as best you can before tugging on your underwear and slipping on your dress. Just as you crouch down to slip your shoes on, she tosses her pack and it lands in front of you with a soft thud.

Confused, you glance up at her.

“There’s about a week’s worth of jerky in there. Longer, if you know how to ration,” Tess explains, calmly. “And a canteen for water. I also packed you a flashlight and a pocket knife. It’s not much, but—”

Frowning, you rise to your feet. “What are you talking about, Tess? What’s going on? Why are you giving me your pack?”

“Because I’m giving you a chance, kid.”

A feeling of dread pools in the pit of your stomach.

“A chance to what?”

“Run.”

Your heart stutters a beat. “Run?”

“He’ll come looking for you. You need to get as far away from here as possible. Run away, as far as you can, and don’t fucking look back.”

All you can do is stare at her in shocked silence.

“I can help you get a head start,” Tess offers, quietly. “I can show you which direction to go in and put you on a path leading to the closest state highway—”

“But what if I don’t want to run?”

Tess places her hands on her hips, and she exhales an incredulous laugh. “Jesus,” she breathes, shaking her head in pity. “He’s really got you fucking brainwashed, doesn’t he?”

You glare at her. “I am not brainwashed, Tess.”

“You’ve gotta be if you’re telling me you wanna go back to him.”

“Tess—”

She cuts you off. “He gave the order to raid your camp and kill your people,” she reminds you. “He fucking slit your father’s throat right in front of you, then took you as his prisoner. He made you his fucking sex slave.”

“He takes care of me! He feeds me, makes sure I have a bed to sleep in no matter where we are. He keeps me safe. He—he cares about me.” You will your voice not to tremble as you stand your ground. “No. I’m not running away, Tess. I want to go back.”

Tess sighs. “You’re really not gonna make this easy, are you?”

“Take me back,” you all but demand, your hands curled into the least menacing little fists she had ever seen in her life at your sides. “Take me back to the cabin—take me back to him, Tess. I mean it.”

Amused, she huffs through her nose. “Or else what?”

“You can’t make me run away, Tess.” As you take a step towards her, she reaches behind her and swiftly whips out her pistol from the waistband of her jeans. You halt, freezing in fear when she aims the barrel of the gun at your chest.

“Actually, I can,” she says, her finger hovering over the trigger. “So here’s how this is gonna go. I’m gonna walk away now. And if you even think about following me, or trying to find your way back to the group, you will die.” She tosses you a tiny, wry smile. “Believe it or not, I’m doing you a real big favor, kid. Problem is, he’s got you so fucked in the head that you can’t see it.”

“Tess, please,” you plead. “Don’t do this to me!”

She begins to back away. “Remember when you’d say that to him? How you’d beg him not to do those things to you every night? Beg him to let you go?”

“Please, just take me back to him!”

You start to follow her.

“You take one more fucking step and I’ll shoot you,” she threatens, her eyes darkening. “Don’t think I won’t.”

Tess keeps her pistol pointed at you until she slips into the trees and disappears, abandoning you in the middle of the forest.

He’s furious. Livid.

Joel paces back and forth on the porch.

“Where the fuck are they?”

The old, rotting wood that wraps all the way around the cabin creaks, and certain softer spots bend and buckle, threatening to give way beneath his heavy boots. Joel’s younger brother leans against the railing, which is just as fragile, an unlit cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth.

“Christ, Joel. Can you fuckin’ relax?” Tommy grumbles, fishing around in his back pocket for his lighter. “You’re gonna bring the whole damn cabin down if ya don’t cut that shit out.” He sparks a flame and lights the filtered end of the cigarette. He takes a long drag, and exhales the smoke through his nose. “You’re gettin’ worked up over nothin’, brother.”

“S’almost sundown, and they’re still not fuckin’ back.” Joel shakes his head. “Fuckin’ knew I shouldn’t have let Tess take her. Somethin’ happened, Tommy. I just know it.” He lifts his shirt and reaches for his pistol, pulling it from the waistband of his jeans. “M’gonna head to the creek myself to find ‘em. Ain’t gonna sit around on my goddamn hands and wait for it to get fuckin’ dark.”

“She’s with Tess. M’sure the girl’s fine—” Tommy stops, his eyes widening slightly. “Well, hell.”

“What?”

Tommy jerks his chin over Joel’s shoulder before taking another slow, casual drag of his cigarette. He savors the last few seconds of peace before shit inevitably hits the fan and his brother unleashes his wrath on anything, or anyone, in his path.

Joel whips around and his stomach sinks, his blood ice in his veins when he sees Tess approaching the cabin. Alone.

Both his mind and body go numb. It’s a jarring shock to his nervous system, and it takes him a minute or two to fully process the fact that you’re not with her.

“Joel,” Tess says his name carefully as he descends the porch steps and walks towards her. “I need you to take a breath, alright?”

“Where—where is she?” His voice breaks, his weakness momentarily slipping through the cracks.

Not that Tess didn’t already know you were Joel Miller’s weakness, his soft white underbelly, the only vulnerable part of his hardened self that could be penetrated—you would have been his downfall. As much as she’d like to say she did what she did solely for your own good, she also did it for his, and for the sake of the group as a whole.

It needed to be done.

He stands in front of her, a ticking time bomb about to go off.

Prepared to face whatever consequences of the choice she had made, Tess tucks her gun away and sighs. “You need to take a breath—”

Joel snatches her arm, his fingers digging into the flesh above her elbow. His emotions hit him all at once.

Fear, worry, anger. It’s the third that takes precedence, and before Tess can utter another word, Joel yanks her forward. She crashes against his chest so hard that it knocks the wind out of her. “Where the fuck is she?” He leans down, his nostrils flaring as he brings their faces the closest they have been in almost a year.

“Joel, take a fucking breath—”

“Where. Is. She.” His grip on her arm tightens with each word he bites out through his teeth. He’s vaguely aware the others have piled out of the cabin, gathering on the porch to watch the altercation.

“She ran,” Tess explains, calmly. She doesn’t falter, not even as his fingers sink deeper into her skin, promising her painful bruises which will take days to fade away. If he decided to let her live. “She ran away, Joel. I turned my back for one fucking second and she was gone. She even took my fucking pack. I tried going after her, but it was no use. She was too fast.”

Behind him, Tommy snorts. “She outran you?”

Her eyes momentarily flicker to him. “Her knees are a lot younger than mine,” she replies, flatly.

“Which direction did she go in?” Joel demands. When Tess doesn’t immediately respond, he shouts, “Which fucking direction!”

Tess manages to snatch her arm out of his grasp. She glowers at him, hissing, “What the hell does it matter which direction she went? You won’t fucking find her.”

His eyes meet hers, and he sees it. Feels it.

She’s lying to him.

“Tess.” Joel’s voice drops dangerously low. He studies her face, his brows creasing with suspicion. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do shit, Joel. She fucking ran away.”

Without warning, Joel takes her by her throat. His other hand brings his pistol to her head, shoving the barrel of it against her temple. His nose touches hers. “Now, tell me why I have the feelin’ you’re not tellin’ me the whole truth?”

Tess lifts her chin. She searches his eyes, a sharp ache shooting through her. After everything, all the hell they had been through together—he would end her life, put a bullet in her because of you? Did she mean that little to him?

Or maybe she’d never meant anything to him at all?

She’s not sure which stings more.

“Because you’ve fucking deluded yourself into thinking that she willingly wants anything to do with you,” Tess finally answers. “That’s why.”

He ignores the burn of her scorching words.

“Where the fuck is she, Tess?”

“If she’s smart, she’s far away from here by now,” she hisses. “I did everyone a fucking favor, Joel. That girl is just another fucking mouth to feed. And what if you get her pregnant? That’ll be another one. Not to mention, a crying baby could draw unwanted attention and get us all killed. Ever thought about that? She’s not an asset to the group, she’s a fucking liability. Besides, I think I can speak for everyone when I say we’re all fucking tired of hearing you ra—”

Joel digs the barrel harder into her temple, his finger hovering over the trigger. “Listen to me. You’ve got ten seconds to tell me where she is, y’understand me?”

“Or what? You’ll blow my brains out?” Foolishly, Tess chooses to call his bluff despite not knowing for certain whether or not he’ll actually pull the trigger. “Go ahead, then. Kill me, Joel.”

His finger twitches over the trigger, but he doesn’t pull it. He can’t fucking pull it. Not on her. Not on Tess.

Still in his hands, she sags slightly in relief.

Swallowing harshly, Joel Miller lowers his gun and does something she’s never seen him do before. He begs.

“Tess, tell me where she is,” he whispers. His pleading is subtle, and only she can hear it. “Please—just fuckin’ tell me where my girl is.”

Tess stands her ground and says nothing.

Releasing her, Joel shoves her aside and with nothing but his gun in his hand, he sets off to find you.

“Ow, fuck!”

You gasp, quickly lifting your bare foot off the ground.

You’d stepped on something sharp—a stick, or maybe a rock?

In a desperate attempt to try and keep up with Tess’ tracks, you had stupidly left behind your shoes back at the waterfall. But the mere seconds you had spared by not stopping to put your shoes on hadn’t given you the advantage you thought it would. She had moved much too fast, and within minutes, you’d become helplessly, hopelessly lost. Every tree and every bush, they all look exactly the same, and for all you know, you’ve probably been going around in fucking circles for the past couple of hours in your search for her footprints in the dirt.

Sagging against the trunk of a nearby tree, you take a minute to try and catch your breath, to give your poor little feet a break from hiking over fallen branches and jagged stones.

Your head falls back, eyes gazing through the canopy of trees. Dusk has settled in, and nightfall is on its heels. It was foolish of you to leave behind your shoes, but even more so to leave behind the pack she had given you—in the pack were all the things meant to help you survive. Knife, flashlight, food.

Sure, you can survive a night out here in the wilderness without any of those things—but then what? Come dawn, what do you do? Where do you go? Do you just stumble around in the woods and hope for the best? Pray you’ll make it onto a highway with signs that will point you to a quarantine zone?

Hell, maybe you’re overestimating yourself. Maybe you wouldn’t survive long enough to worry about your next move. Howls in the distance remind you there’s wildlife out here, dangerous predators that come out after dark in search of their next meal. Or what about infected? It wasn’t unheard of for them to veer off the highway and lose themselves in the trees.

You recall your first few weeks in Joel Miller’s hands.

Escaping them was all you could ever think about, even though the chances of you surviving alone were slim to none, just like they are now. Never having been on your own, death would have been inevitable—but back then, in your darkest moments in captivity, you wished for it. You’d welcomed the idea of starving, freezing, or being torn apart limb from limb by an entire hoard of clickers. At least then, you’d die with your freedom.

Almost a year later, that wish has been granted.

You’re free.

You may very well die, but you would die free.

Closing your eyes, you think about Joel. His arms, that once held you down—held you still—as he did all those things to you without your consent, are arms your heart yearns to have wrapped around you, holding you close.

“Jesus,” you grit, a tear rolling down your cheek.

Maybe Tess had been right. Maybe he really does have you fucked in the head.

Joel was a monster. He had taken everything from you, including your innocence. He’d defiled you in ways you hadn’t known were possible. He was a terrible, terrible man.

A terrible, terrible man who kept you fed.

A terrible, terrible man who kept you warm.

A terrible, terrible man who kept you safe.

Another tear slides down the side of your face. What is fucking wrong with you?

You don’t know. But what you do know is, the thought of never seeing Joel again is somehow more terrifying to you than the thought of dying even the most brutal of deaths.

A loud rustling sound brings your train of thought to an immediate, sudden halt, and your eyes wrench open.

It’s darker now, but you manage to catch a movement in the shrubs, only mere feet in front of you. Panic flares in your chest, it rattles you to your very core, and even though every nerve in your body is urging you to move, you freeze, your back flush against the tree trunk. Your fingernails dig painfully into the bark as you watch the shrubs part down the middle, and a tall, hulking figure emerges with a heavy grunt.

At first, you think it’s just a figment of your imagination showing you what you wanted to see—a hallucination. Blinking furiously, you lightly shake your head, and then take another look at him. Your breath hitches when you realize it’s Joel.

He stares at you in the same manner, as if he’s trying to figure out if you’re real, or if his mind is playing a cruel, cruel trick on him. Feet cemented to the forest floor, he watches you take a small, tentative step towards him.

Once adamant that you’d never look him in the eye, you find your gaze locking directly with his as you carefully take another step closer. Then another, and another.

“Joel?” It’s the first time you’ve ever uttered his name.

He seems as taken aback hearing it as you are saying it.

“Joel.” It rolls off your tongue smoother, and with more ease the second time around.

It sparks a flame somewhere deep, deep inside of him, a fire that burns differently than those ignited by carnal desires.

No, this is something else entirely, and you feel it too.

“Baby?” he whispers hoarsely. “S’that really you?”

“Joel!” you cry, hurling yourself into his arms.

Joel’s gun falls from his hand and he curls them around you. Burying his nose into your hair, he inhales deeply. The scent of you, the feel of you—you’re fucking real.

Shuddering with sobs of relief, your arms wrap around his waist, and you cling to him as if you’re clinging onto dear, precious life itself.

“Hush now, s’alright,” Joel soothes, cradling the back of your head in one hand, while the rubs soft, calming circles into your back. “I’ve got you, honey. M’here.”

“I swear I didn’t want to run away,” you explain through your tears. “I begged her to take me back to you, Joel, I really did! But she left me out here—she said she would shoot me if I tried following her back. Please, you have to believe me, you just have to believe me!”

He squeezes you harder against his chest. “I do, baby. I do believe you,” he assures you. Pulling away, he takes a step backward and takes your face between his palms, peering at you in concern. “Y’hurt, sweetheart?”

“No,” you hiccup, curling your hands around his wrists. Your lower lip trembles. “I—I thought I’d never see you again. I was scared I wouldn’t,” you admit, softly.

Joel’s thumb wipes away a fresh tear. “M’here now,” he murmurs. “You’re with me, baby. You’re safe, alright?” As a late evening breeze passes through, he lets you go and shrugs out of his brown jacket. He goes to drape it around your shoulders, but you snatch it right out of his hands, then toss it aside.

Something in you snaps. You take fistfuls of his flannel, pulling him down towards you to do yet something else that takes you both by surprise—you initiate a kiss. You lean forward and press your lips to his, a little swipe of your tongue across his bottom lip as you clutch tighter at his shirt, holding him in place. Groaning, Joel opens his mouth more, his tongue brushing yours.

Liquid heat pools in your belly, and before you realize it, you’ve grown frantic, kissing him with fervor. Releasing his shirt, you slide your hands down his chest, over his stomach, lower and lower until you find his belt buckle. Desperate, you clumsily fumble with it, and that’s when Joel tears away from you, his breath hitching.

You’re begging before he can even say a word. “Please. I need you—I want you. Right now.”

You cup him through his jeans, and he exhales sharply.

“Fuck.” Without giving it a second thought, his hands reach for the straps of your dress, pushing them off of your shoulders. He roughly tugs at the material, letting it slip down your body until it falls around your feet. In a tangle of limbs and tongues, you both sink to the forest floor. Your hands brush his buckle, and he catches your wrists. “Not yet, baby girl. M’still in charge, alright?”

Sheepishly, you nod.

“Say it.” His command is firm, but somehow still gentle.

“You’re—you’re in charge.”

“Good girl.” Joel guides you onto your back. He’s over you in a second, swelling your lips with a hard, hungry kiss that leaves you dizzy and breathless. He moves his mouth, teeth scraping over your cheek and jaw, down to your neck where he nips at the tender, delicate flesh over your pulse point. Then, he bites his way over your collarbone and to your shoulder. “Bet she’s already wet for me,” he mumbles into your skin. “Ain’t she, baby?”

Pushing himself back onto his knees, he slides a finger over your clothed cunt, eliciting a small gasp from you. Hooking his fingers under the elastic waistband of your cotton underwear, he yanks the fabric down your legs. It catches on your foot, your wetness smearing against the inside of your ankle.

You’re drenched.

“C’mere,” Joel grunts, sliding his hands under your ass and pulling your hips over his thighs. He leans over you once more, your bare, throbbing cunt rubbing against the crotch of his jeans. He tuts lightly into your neck as you buck against him. “Such a fuckin’ needy little girl.”

Desperate, you try rolling your hips into his. “Joel.”

“Kinda like it when y’say my name.” He starts making his way down the length of your body. “Think I’ll like it even better when you’re screamin’ it. Won’t I, baby?”

Your stomach tightens as he nibbles his way down your neck again, teeth scraping over your clavicle and down your chest to your heaving tits. Taking one in his hand, the other goes into his mouth—his tongue is scorching hot over your nipple. He licks the pebbled flesh, sucks it and bites it while he rolls the other peak in between his thumb and index finger. “Oh fuck,” you gasp.

Releasing your breast with a wet pop, Joel sinks further down your body. He plants hot, open-mouthed kisses along the curve of your tummy, leaving behind a trail of fire in their wake. He stops over your mound and hovers for a fraction of a second before pressing his nose into the silky soft curls there. Inhaling deeply, Joel picks up the subtle, herbal scent of the lavender soap you had washed yourself with. “Fuck, y’smell so fuckin’ good.”

He pushes your thighs open, pinning one to the ground with his hand while the other goes over his shoulder. Your foot slides down his back, toes curling despite the fact that he hasn’t even reached the spot where you’re aching to have him most. Heart thundering, your blood rushes, roaring in your ears.

Joel turns his head, his lips brushing your inner thigh in another kiss. “S’this where y’want me, honey?” he asks you. Goosebumps erupt over every inch of your skin as he draws closer, his breath like steam on your core. He glances up at you, his cock twitching against his zipper at the sight of you laying naked before him on the floor of the forest. Willing. Wanting. “Hm? Right here?”

“Yes,” you breathe. “Please, Joel.”

Thankfully, you only have to ask him once, and then his face is buried between your legs, and he is giving you what you want.

“Fuck!” you cry out. Back arching, your head tilts back until the crown of it meets the ground, leaves and twigs finding their way into your clean hair.

Joel’s tongue flattens over your cunt in a broad stroke, then dips between your folds, collecting your slick with a harsh groan, one that sends a bone-rattling vibration throughout your entire body, from head to curled toes. His mouth opens wider—a starving, greedy man trying to eat you whole. Sliding his tongue over your clit, Joel seals his lips around it, sucking the sensitive bundle of nerves until it swells in his mouth.

High-pitched little cries and whines spill from your lips. Your hands shoot down, fingers tangling themselves in his dark, graying curls, eliciting a grunt from him when you tug at his roots. “Joel, fuck,” you choke, your nails scraping against his scalp. He slurps and swallows your wetness, the sounds drowning out those of the night—the chirping of crickets, the croaking of frogs, the soft hooting of owls are washed away until all you can hear is him devouring your pussy.

Your body starts to tremble, and you know you’re close. Joel does, too. He feels your thighs twitch, threatening to close around his head, but he wrenches them further apart with a muffled but firm, “No.” He drapes his arm over your pelvis, his large hand splayed on your belly.

Relentless, he sucks your clit, gliding his tongue over it, again and again until the muscles in your lower tummy tighten and you burst at the seams, unraveling into his mouth. Warm slick gushes out of you, a sweet mess he licks clean. You choke back sobs of pleasure, your body tensing, vision blurring with every stroke of his tongue, each scrape of his teeth over your clit.

Joel lifts himself onto his knees with a grunt and gazes down at you—his good girl, sweet and pliant and ready to be fucked full of his cock. His hands slide his belt out of its brass buckle, eyes still trained on you as he pops the button of his jeans and yanks down his zipper.

Your mind is fuzzy, still syrupy and dripping—it doesn’t fully register what he’s doing, not until he climbs back over you and you his hard cock brushes your thigh, hot velvet that sears the inside of your leg. Precum smears your flesh.

“Y’feel that? Feel what you fuckin’ do to me?”

“Joel.” Hands shaking, you reach for the buttons of his shirt, desperate to feel more of his skin on yours. You whine when he catches both of your wrists in one hand, pinning them above your head. “Your clothes—”

“Stay on.” Ducking his head, he nips at your pulse point and mumbles, “Tell me what y’want, pretty girl.”

Joel shifts over you, his cock now resting on your lower belly, thick and heavy and leaking.

You squirm under him, hips coming off the ground, that hollow thing inside of you begging to be filled.

“Use your words, sweetheart. Tell me what y’want.”

“You, Joel—I want you. Please, please, please—”

He hushes you.

“I’ve you, baby. I’ve got you,” Joel promises. He wraps his other hand around himself, dragging the head of his cock along the seam of your puffy folds, up and down—he elicits a ragged little gasp from you when he grazes your clit and his fingers tighten around your wrists. He coats himself in your slippery slick until he’s glistening with it, and then he gives a slow roll of his hips, working himself into you.

Your mouth falls open. No words come out, no pleas for more—only jerky breaths, pathetic little pants for air as you take it.

Joel’s cock throbs, pulses like a heartbeat as your cunt welcomes him home. He presses his forehead to yours. “She’s always so fuckin’ sweet to me.” His voice is low, rough gravel. His eyes meet yours in the dark blue glow of the forest, and he savors the last moments of seeing your pretty face before the last traces of dusk are gone. Brushing his lips to the corner of your mouth, he feeds you his cock inch by inch, murmuring, “That’s it, honey. Good fuckin’ girl.”

You melt around him at his praise.

Releasing your wrists, he moves his hand, placing it on the crown of your head. “Ain’t ever lettin’ you out of my sight again,” he swears. “Alright? Never gonna be apart from me again, baby girl. Never. Y’understand me?” He curls his other hand firmly around your jaw, his fingers sticky with you and him. “Do you understand me?”

“Never,” you repeat, softly.

Joel kisses you, deep and slow, almost sweet. Tender. He breaks away, his lips hovering right over yours as he pushes his hips forward, bottoming out inside you.

Moaning, your hands grasp at his shoulders. Your legs widen further to accommodate the breadth of his hips.

“There y’go.” Joel presses deep within, until your belly feels hot and full. “That’s it, baby. Good girl,” he coos, drawing his hips back, then rolling them right back into you. He takes one of your ankles and tosses it over his shoulder, giving himself a better angle to fuck into you.

A loud cry tears from the back of your throat. “Joel!”

He grins in the darkness. He knew he’d like hearing you scream his name.

Joel’s hand settles on your leg that’s over his shoulder, your thigh already shaking. “Y’gonna be a real good girl n’ give me another one?”

You try to answer him, you really do, but your mind falls further and further away.

His fingertips sink into your thigh. He strokes in and out of you, never retreating more than inches at a time so he keeps you full. Stuffed. “Christ. Takin’ it so fuckin’ well,” he croons, moving your leg off of his shoulder so they are both wrapped around his waist. Hunching over you, he bears down hard, using most of his weight. He almost chuckles at the little oof that puffs out of you.

Rocks and twigs dig painfully into your back, but all you can do is feel him. How close he is.

You’re right there with him.

“Joel—fuck, I’m gonna co—”

You’re cut off by your own sharp gasp.

“That’s it. C’mon, honey.” Joel slips his hand between your thighs, his fingers firmly rubbing your clit. “C’mon, baby. Be a good girl and come on my cock—”

It rips through you like an electric current, a shockwave that has you clawing at the dirt. You come crying Joel’s name, crumbling into a whimpering, quivering mess.

Within seconds, he’s swept away by the same tide.

“Baby,” he groans, dropping his head into the hollow of your neck. He goes still and lets your tight cunt clench at him, gripping his cock as it throbs, pulses, empties into you. After a minute, he brushes a kiss to your neck before mumbling, “My sweet girl.”

Joel makes no move to pull out of you. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, your soiled fingers toy with the soft curls at the nape of his neck, shattered breaths slowing and piecing back together.

You gaze up through the trees at the night sky, feeling the safest you’ve ever been with the earth at your back and your whole world on top of you, his cock buried in your cunt.

Tess is right. Joel Miller really does have you fucked in the head.

You’re certain of it when you make the realization with a smile.

divider credit to @/saradika 🖤

[gibscngirls]

Best things for a ship to have or be:

Horny

Insane

Religious/spiritual themes

Obsession

Age gap

Doomed

[gibscngirls]

my comfort joel fics <3

pretty little wife | masterlist

status: ongoing one shot collection pairing: husband!joel x f!reader summary: chronicles the daily life, past and present, of husband!joel and his pretty little wife. warnings: 18+ MDNI, sub/dom relationship, large age gap (20+ years), free use kink, each chapter is smut heavy with sprinklings of domestic fluff, praise kink, heavy on the pet names for reader, chapters are individually tagged with warnings! 🌹 main masterlist | ao3 | kofi | fic tag 🌹

✦ = smut ✩ = fluff

main chapters: ♡ better now ✦ 3.9k — a snippet in the seemingly perfect daily life of husband!joel and his lovely housewife. ♡ morning glory ✦✩ 4.3k — saturday mornings are for his wife, joel claims, so he spends this one making his wife come as many times as he damn well pleases. ♡ generous ✦ 10.5k — tommy stops by to see you and joel in the evening, and the night takes a turn that you never could have expected. joel x f!reader x tommy for this chapter. ♡ sit tight ✦ 6.5k — you're hosting a dinner party in the miller household, and as usual, joel can't help but turn it into a chance to tease his pretty little wife. ♡ do you have an appointment? ✦✩ 11.2k — pretty wife visits joel at work when he forgets his lunch, and he wants to show everyone there just how good you are to him. and when you're good, you get a reward. ♡ meet cute, part one , part two ✦✩ 8.3k, 9.5k — a flashback to the night joel and pretty wife meet, and the beginnings of their relationship. ♡ sorry, baby ✦✩ 4k — joel is stressed and busy with a big project at work lately. his pretty little wife makes it all better. ♡ crazy 4 u ✦✩ 9k — joel has historically made sure that valentine's day is special for his pretty little wife, but this year he's gone above and beyond.

ficlets: ♡ butt dial ✩ 2.3k — you're home alone while joel is out with his brother. he butt dials you, and you hear some very interesting things.

[gibscngirls]

His faithful child who will never leave him. Ever.

I'll stay here with you. I'll die with you.

[gibscngirls]

ellie williams

[gibscngirls]

lucy can’t handle all that

The perfect man, the perfect life.

[gibscngirls]

Father of the Groom

warnings - smut (as always lmao) virgin reader, cheating, spanking, unprotected sex, family dynamics, creampie ..(??!)

🕊♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧

You reached for another glass of champagne, your fingers trembling just enough to make the bubbles shimmer against the rim. The suite was quiet now, too quiet, after the flurry of brushes and curling irons, after the hum of music and the soft laughter of your stylist and makeup artist who had only just packed up and left. The air still held the faint scent of hair spray and roses, mixed with the deeper perfume clinging to your skin — warm, floral, soft like summer.

Your hair had been curled into delicate waves, the top pinned back with a cluster of tiny pearls that glimmered every time you moved. Your makeup was bridal perfection — a gentle glow across your cheeks, soft pink lips, lashes long and curled like whispers. You looked like a dream. You felt… like a trembling one. Nerves tangled tightly in your belly, fluttering like ribbons caught in wind. You were getting married today. Today.

The weight of it settled behind your ribs. Excitement, yes — that warm, hopeful kind — but threaded through with something sharper, more restless. The kind of nerves that made your hands fidget, that made you question if you’d eaten too much, if you should’ve worn a different shade of blush, if the weight in your chest was love or fear or… something else entirely.

You were just about to raise the flute to your lips when a knock echoed at the door — soft, deliberate.

Your heart gave a little stutter.

“Luke, I swear,” you muttered under your breath with a nervous smile, setting the glass down, “you know you’re not supposed to see me until the ceremony…”

You padded toward the door in nothing but your white silk robe — the one you’d saved for today, smooth as water and tied loosely at your waist. You pulled it tighter on instinct, fingers curling around the fabric as you turned the handle and opened the door—

—and there he was.

Joel.

Mr. Miller.

Your fiancé’s father.

🕊♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧

Joel Miller stood in the doorway like he’d stepped out of another world and into this one just to see you — tall and broad in his dark suit, the tailored jacket pulling across his shoulders in a way that made your breath hitch for reasons you didn’t want to examine.

His tie was a muted navy, slightly loosened at the collar like he hadn’t bothered to finish getting ready yet, and in the neat fold of his jacket pocket sat a single white rose — likely chosen to match your bouquet, the detail not missed by you. His hair had been swept back, soft curls glinting silver under the room’s warm light. He looked handsome — devastatingly so — in that older, quiet kind of way that made you want to look at him just a second too long.

“Joel,” you smiled gently, surprised, your fingers tightening slightly on the robe’s sash as you leaned your shoulder to the doorframe, “I thought you were Luke.”

His brow ticked up, but the smile he gave you was warm, touched with something that felt just a little too fond. “Well… look at you, sweetheart.” He stepped closer, eyes scanning you with a reverence that made your skin burn beneath the silk. He leaned in and kissed both of your cheeks — the roughness of his stubble grazing your skin, the warmth of his hands settling lightly on your arms. “You look like a damn dream.”

A quiet breath left you as you backed up slightly to let him in, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “Thanks, Joel,” you murmured, turning toward the side table where the champagne and spirits were arranged, the glasses catching soft golden light. “Would you like a drink? There’s whiskey.”

He chuckled — low, gravelly, like it lived deep in his chest. “You know me well.”

You didn’t see the way his eyes dropped to your legs, how they lingered on the smooth line of your thigh revealed by the shift of your robe as you reached forward, silk sliding up just enough to test the limits of modesty. You didn’t catch the subtle way his jaw shifted or how his thumb dragged once over his palm before reaching for the glass you passed him.

“How’s your morning been?” he asked, voice smooth, conversational, but his gaze wandered — over the room, yes, but always returning to you.

You motioned for him to sit, and when he did, he chose the armchair closest to you — close enough that his knee nearly brushed yours. You sat down again, smoothing the robe over your legs as you sipped the last of your champagne, trying to ignore the sudden flutter of nerves in your chest that had nothing to do with wedding-day jitters.

“It’s been busy,” you admitted softly, your voice lighter now. “Hair and makeup only just left. Luke and I are getting photos done soon… in—” you glanced at your phone, “less than an hour, actually.”

Joel nodded slowly, the motion almost absentminded, though his eyes hadn’t left you once — eyes that held something too heavy to be casual, too soft to be paternal. There was reverence in them, yes, but also a flicker of something else, something deep and unspoken, as if he was trying to memorize every angle of you in that moment — the slope of your cheekbone catching the morning light, the gentle way your bottom lip stayed tucked beneath your teeth when you were nervous, the way you kept fidgeting with the edge of your silk robe like you didn’t quite know what to do with your hands now that he was sitting so close.

“You nervous?” he asked at last, his voice quieter than before — lower, almost thoughtful, like it wasn’t just a question but something weightier, an offering.

You smiled softly, almost bashful, eyes dropping to your lap where your fingers twisted the belt of your robe into a little knot. “A little.”

When you looked up again, his gaze was still locked on yours — unwavering, steady, and laced with something warm enough to make your skin prickle.

“Ain’t nothin’ to be nervous about, darlin’,” he murmured, his voice slow and syrupy, rich with something comforting and southern and familiar. “If anything, my damn son oughta be nervous. He’ll get a whoopin’ if he ain’t takin’ care of you proper.”

That made you laugh — the kind of laugh Joel always pulled out of you with so little effort, the kind that spilled out like a secret, the kind that reminded you of every dinner at their family home, of the way he always made sure your wine glass was full, how he always offered you the best slice of roast first, the way he always called you “sweetheart” like it meant something more. Holidays, birthdays, Sunday brunches — Joel was the kind of man who made you feel seen, held, steady in a world that sometimes spun too fast.

And now, as your laughter died down to a gentle smile, he was watching you again — like you were something fragile and golden and borrowed just for a moment. His hand moved slowly, resting gently on your knee, warm and solid where your skin peeked from beneath the silk. His palm was broad, roughened from years of work, but the way he touched you was soft, reverent, fingers still against your skin like he didn’t dare move.

You kept your eyes trained on his, breath catching faintly, though it wasn’t fear that fluttered in your chest. He smelled good — a mix of something woodsy and clean, a little cologne maybe, but mostly Joel — that distinct, masculine scent that always lingered when he hugged you goodbye.

He smiled a little, eyes soft, almost nostalgic. “You remind me of Tess on our wedding day,” he said quietly, and you felt that compliment bloom somewhere deep in your belly, warm and sharp. “She had this look in her eyes — somethin’ soft. Somethin’ like you got now. Though I don’t think she ever wore a robe like that 'round me before the vows.”

The last part slipped out lower, almost like he hadn’t meant to say it aloud, and you blushed instantly, lowering your eyes with a shy smile, your fingers tightening just slightly around the edge of your robe.

“Thank you,” you murmured, voice almost too quiet to hear.

Joel smiled again, tilting his head just a little, and then leaned forward, the hand on your knee giving the gentlest squeeze. “Now come on,” he said, voice teasing but kind, “stand up and give me a twirl. I wanna see my future daughter-in-law in all her glory.”

You let out a little giggle — partly from the champagne dancing in your bloodstream, partly from the way his voice held that proud affection, but mostly from the way he was looking at you. Like you were beautiful. Like he knew you were.

You gave a playful little twirl, champagne dancing in your veins and nerves making your limbs feel feather-light. The hem of your silk robe fluttered around your thighs, and you struck a mock pose at the end, one hand on your hip, the other lifting just enough of the fabric to wink at the lace garter snug around your upper thigh — delicate ivory and barely-there sheer, the one your maid of honor had slipped to you that morning with a wink and a giggle.

Joel chuckled low under his breath, the sound rough and warm and unmistakably male, like it was caught in the back of his throat. He leaned forward slightly in the armchair, elbow resting on one knee, fingers loosely wrapped around his glass of whiskey. But it wasn’t the drink he was looking at.

Your movements had swayed just enough for him to catch a flash of lace — and his eyes tracked it like they had a mind of their own.

“Hold up,” Joel said suddenly, his voice casual but the glint in his eyes not quite matching the lazy ease in his tone. He leaned forward in the chair just slightly, resting his glass on the side table as his gaze settled somewhere lower — somewhere that made heat crawl beneath your skin. “C’mere for a sec, sweetheart.”

You blinked, your breath catching as you stepped toward him with a small, hesitant smile, eyes soft with concern. “What’s wrong?” you asked, your brows furrowed as your mind spun — Did I drop something? Do I have something on my face? Did my lipstick smudge already?

But Joel didn’t answer you right away. Instead, he reached out with one hand, slow and deliberate, his fingers warm as they brushed against the outside of your thigh — the place where the hem of your robe had shifted just enough during your little twirl to reveal a sliver of ivory lace. His touch was gentle, almost absentminded, but his movements were precise. Like he knew exactly what he was doing.

“This,” he murmured, dragging his finger beneath the silk as he shifted the fabric slightly to the side, revealing more of the garter cinched high on your thigh — delicate and bridal and not meant to be seen by him. “Thought I saw somethin’. Damn near missed it.”

He was smiling — that sweet, fatherly smile he always gave you — but there was something else there too, something in the way his eyes lingered, in the way his thumb brushed the edge of the lace like he was admiring it for more than just tradition’s sake.

You froze, a flush blooming across your cheeks, your chest tightening beneath the satin as you struggled to find words. How were you supposed to explain to your future father-in-law that you were wearing a garter? That it was supposed to be seen by someone else — his son, no less. That it was part of some ancient wedding tradition meant to feel cheeky, fun, maybe even a little flirtatious, but now felt scandalous, intimate, exposed in front of the man who should’ve looked away the second he noticed.

Your voice caught in your throat, lodged somewhere between your chest and your lips, and all you could manage was a breathy, flustered, “It’s…” You swallowed hard, cheeks burning as you reached absently for the belt of your robe, needing something to do with your hands, anything to ground you beneath the weight of his gaze. “Tradition, apparently,” you mumbled. “My maid of honour gave it to me this morning.”

Joel didn’t say anything right away. His fingers — the same ones that had just ghosted over the soft skin of your thigh — trailed off with an infuriating slowness, leaving behind a trail of heat like a brand. He let go of the silk as if he hadn’t just touched something sacred, as if his hand hadn’t rested somewhere it most certainly should not have been — like the act itself hadn’t tilted the axis of the room just a fraction. Like it wasn’t so unbearably wrong you felt dizzy with it.

He leaned back in the armchair, the movement languid and unhurried, like he was stretching into the moment instead of trying to escape it. One arm draped along the back of the seat, the other resting on his thigh, fingers idly brushing his whiskey glass. His gaze moved slowly — dragging unapologetically from your legs, up the length of your body, pausing at the dip of your waist where the robe clung, the soft curve of your chest, the flutter of your pulse at the base of your throat — before finally, finally settling on your face again.

“Well,” he said, his voice warm and low, that Southern drawl folding over you like velvet, smooth but weighted, “it’s a real pretty little thing.”

He paused, his smile curling at the edge with something far too knowing, too intimate.

“Just like you.”

Your breath hitched. You blinked, eyes wide, the blush rising higher on your cheeks as you stood frozen in place, unsure what to say, unsure what could be said. You felt suddenly very young, very exposed — like a girl playing dress-up in a woman’s world, standing in a silk robe that felt too thin, with lace too intimate, in front of a man who should have looked away by now. A man who should have been like a father. A man who wasn’t.

You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, your fingers trembling slightly, your gaze darting away in a poor attempt to gather composure. But you could still feel his eyes on you — the weight of them. Gentle. Heavy. Wanting.

You sat down again, your legs folding delicately beneath you, hyperaware now of the space between you — or rather, the lack of it. His knee brushed yours when you shifted slightly, and the silk of your robe clung a little too close to your skin, made you feel a little too seen. Your skin still tingled where his hand had rested moments before.

“What are the boys doing?” you asked, your voice soft, trying to ease the thrum in your chest by returning to something normal — something safe — but even as you said it, your voice betrayed you, just a little too airy, a little too unsure.

Joel chuckled, low and warm, that rich gravel sound that lived somewhere deep in his chest. He swirled the amber liquid in his glass with idle ease. “Luke and the boys?” he said, eyes still fixed on you like you were more interesting than anything happening elsewhere. “They’re just gettin’ ready in the suite down the hall. Arguin’ over whose tie’s crooked, takin’ shots behind your mama’s back.”

You smiled, shoulders relaxing a touch, but then — then Joel shifted his wrist as he brought the glass to his lips, and just as his arm brushed yours, he fumbled.

It was subtle. Believable. Performed so naturally you would’ve sworn it was real.

The glass tilted — just enough — and a slow, honeyed trickle of whiskey spilled over the rim, slipping down the side of the tumbler and landing squarely on your thigh.

Your gasp was soft, surprised, as the warm liquid soaked into the silk, darkening it in a bloom that made the fabric cling scandalously to your skin. It rolled down your leg in a slow, sinful line.

“Shit,” Joel muttered, deep and throaty, setting the glass aside instantly. His hand followed the spill without hesitation, brushing the fabric with the back of his knuckles, trying — pretending — to help. “Damn, m’sorry, sweetheart. Wasn’t lookin’. Didn’t mean—”

“It’s okay,” you said quickly, your voice thin, fluttering from your lips like it had to push through the tightness in your chest. Your breath hitched as Joel’s fingers lingered, just for a second too long, his knuckles grazing the edge of your thigh as though he couldn’t quite bring himself to stop touching you. “It’s just—just the robe.”

He pulled back, but not far, reaching behind him for the box of tissues on the table with a low chuckle, his voice roughened by something that felt deeper than amusement. “Sorry, darlin’,” he muttered as he shook his head, pulling a few tissues loose. “Old man like me can’t do nothin’ right with these damn hands anymore. Slippery glass, nerves shot, eyesight probably goin’.”

You laughed softly, unsure whether it was the champagne or the way your heart felt like it had climbed into your throat. “You’re not old,” you murmured, looking down at your lap to avoid his gaze.

Joel didn’t respond to that — not directly. Instead, he leaned forward again, pressing the tissue to your thigh with a gentleness that made the breath stall in your lungs. His hand was warm, firm but careful, like he was scared he might hurt you, or maybe scared of something entirely different.

He dabbed at the silk uselessly, the fabric already soaked through, transparent now and clinging like a second skin.

“Damn,” he muttered again, more to himself this time as his eyes followed the trail of amber staining the pale ivory. “I’m makin’ it worse, ain’t I?”

You didn’t answer, your mouth dry, because he wasn’t really asking.

Joel looked up, his eyes meeting yours with a quiet intensity, and then back down at the fabric. “This ain’t gonna come clean like this,” he said after a moment, holding the tissue up like proof. “You’ll catch a chill sittin’ in it all wet like that.”

You hesitated, blinking. “It’s fine, really—”

“Nah,” he said gently, his voice taking on that soft but insistent tone, the one that always made people listen. “You’re gonna wrinkle that beautiful dress if this soaks through. Here—” his fingers moved to the sash at your waist before you even realized, pausing just long enough for your eyes to go wide.

“May I?” he asked, and the way he said it — quiet, kind, not pushy but so utterly deliberate — made your stomach twist with something sharp and hot, something that curled behind your ribs and settled low, where your thoughts shouldn’t be wandering.

“I—” you exhaled a shaky breath, a breathy, nervous laugh tumbling out of you. “I’m not sure—”

Joel’s smile was warm, sweet even, but his hands were already ready — positioned at your waist like he was just waiting for permission he already knew you’d give. “We gotta get you cleaned up, baby,” he said gently, glancing at the watch on his wrist like this was all just time-sensitive logistics and not a private, forbidden unraveling. “You got what… twenty minutes till the photographer shows up? Tess, Lord, she dropped every damn thing on her dress back on our day. Nerves’ll do that to ya. But this?” His hand brushed the stained silk. “This’s before the ceremony. Can’t have your wedding robe lookin’ like this in the photos, sugar. People’ll talk.”

He chuckled, soft and low, like he’d just said something harmless, like this wasn’t the most dangerous thing he’d ever done. And your voice — so small and unsure and trembling in a way you couldn’t seem to stop — came out as little more than a breath: “Okay.”

Before you even realized what was happening, his fingers worked the sash loose, slow and careful like he was handling something breakable. The robe slid off your shoulders with the softest whisper of silk and warmth, pooling at your waist before slipping down your hips entirely. Joel caught it in one hand like it was something sacred, something fragile that deserved care — but his eyes…

His eyes didn’t stay on the robe.

He pretended to examine the stained fabric, muttering something under his breath about the fibers and how whiskey sets, holding it like he was doing you a favor — but his gaze lifted a second later, and when it did, it hit you like heat.

Because now you were standing in front of him in nothing but your wedding-day lingerie.

Lace and satin hugged your body, delicate and white and unforgiving, sheer in places where it shouldn’t have been, the garter still snug on your thigh, the tops of your stockings barely visible beneath the hem of the lace. You felt bare. Exposed. Like you’d been unwrapped and laid open just for him.

And Joel — your fiancé’s father, the man who’d kissed your cheek over birthday cake, who’d fixed the broken lock on your apartment door, who’d always called you sweetheart like it was your name — looked up at you then.

His eyes trailed up the length of your legs, slowly, reverently, over your hips, your stomach, the soft line of your chest rising and falling far too quickly.

He didn’t smile.

He just looked.

And in that still, humming silence — where the only sound was the soft rustle of lace against skin and the distant echo of footsteps in some far-off hallway that no longer felt real — you realized with a throb in your chest that Joel had never looked at you like this before.

But he wasn’t stopping.

Not this time.

His eyes dragged over you slowly, reverently, so intensely it made your skin feel too tight, like you were glowing from the inside out, flushed and trembling in nothing but that thin veil of bridal lace that barely counted as clothing. His mouth parted, just slightly, like the words were trying to catch up with the way his thoughts had already unraveled.

“Well,” he drawled at last, voice low and breathless with disbelief, a wry edge of admiration curling around every syllable, “hell, darlin’... I didn’t even know they made underwear like that.”

You gasped — soft, startled — and instinctively crossed your arms over your chest, trying to shield yourself with trembling hands, but there was barely anything to cover. The silk and lace clung to you like a whisper, translucent in places it shouldn’t be, tight across curves he was now seeing for the very first time, and the heat in his eyes made your knees threaten to give out.

Joel dropped the robe without looking, the silk puddling soundlessly at his feet, forgotten, like it was meaningless compared to the vision standing before him. His voice dipped deeper, reverent but laced with something unholy, something so filthy it made your pulse stutter.

“Shit, honey…” he whispered, gaze flicking down again, breath catching as he took you in from head to toe, “…this lace don’t even cover your pussy, does it?”

You froze, stunned, lips parted in a silent gasp, your body prickling with heat that had nothing to do with embarrassment and everything to do with how the words hit you — low and wicked, like something molten pooling behind your ribs.

He shook his head slowly, as though trying to make sense of what he was seeing, as though the sight of you — flushed and trembling and wrapped in lace that did nothing to hide the soft, sacred shape of your body — was more than his tired, aging heart could bear. His voice, when it came, was hushed and aching, like it had to claw its way up from somewhere deep in his chest. “You look like heaven on earth,” he murmured, almost broken by it, like saying the words out loud wounded him in some unspeakable way. “Like somethin’ God himself made just to fuck with me.”

You couldn’t speak.

Could barely breathe.

Your arms were still crossed tightly over your chest, but your hands had slackened, your fingers curled uselessly against your skin as if even they had surrendered to the weight of his gaze. Your lips were parted in shock, your mouth dry, and your heart was pounding so hard you swore he could see it in the way your collarbone trembled beneath the thin thread of satin. You didn’t know if you should run — throw on the robe, end this before it went any further — or reach for him, admit what your body had already betrayed.

Joel stood then, slowly, without a word, and took the few steps toward you with the calm, deliberate steadiness of a man who had made up his mind.

You didn’t move when he reached you.

Didn’t protest when his rough, warm hands slid gently over your wrists, guiding your arms down and away from your chest, until they hung limply at your sides and you were bare before him in a way you had never been before.

His gaze dropped immediately, and there was nothing coy about it now, nothing shy or hesitant in the way his eyes devoured the sight of you. His breath hitched audibly when he saw your chest, and his voice, when it came, was low and ragged and thick with hunger.

“Jesus, baby…” he muttered, his voice strained and reverent like he was confessing a sin, “I can see your fuckin’ nipples through that lace.”

The way he said it — not vulgar, not joking, but stunned, ruined, like it was a miracle he didn’t deserve to witness — sent a ripple of heat straight through your spine. You felt like you were on fire, like your skin was glowing beneath his gaze, like you were something holy being blasphemed.

“Joel,” you warned, or tried to, though your voice cracked under the weight of your own trembling.

Your brows furrowed, your breath shallow, but you didn’t pull away. You couldn’t. Because his eyes were still fixed on your breasts, on the way the sheer lace hugged the swell of them, your nipples peaked and visible through the delicate floral embroidery, the faint rise and fall of your chest growing sharper with each second his gaze remained. And Joel — your future father-in-law, the man who’d always carried himself with the kind of unshakable dignity only age could bring — just looked.

He didn’t blink. He didn’t flinch. He didn’t say sorry.

He just kept looking at you like he’d never seen anything so goddamn beautiful in his life — like the sight of you, soft and trembling in white lace that barely clung to your skin, had cracked something open in him so deep and buried he no longer remembered how to pretend it wasn’t there.

And then, in a voice so calm and so casual it could’ve been mistaken for small talk, he murmured, “Now you can’t blame an old man for admirin’, can you?”

The way he said it — low, warm, with the faintest flicker of amusement curling in his chest — made your stomach flip. Like this was the most natural thing in the world. Like you were the one being silly for acting like he hadn’t just devoured you with his eyes.

His hand rose, slow and unhurried, and settled against your hip — broad and warm, his thumb brushing bare skin where the lace ended. The contact was electric, your breath catching in your throat as you gasped softly, your eyes snapping up to his.

“You wear this for him?” he asked, tilting his head slightly, gaze trailing from your mouth to your breasts again like he couldn’t help himself. “This pretty little set?”

You couldn’t answer. Couldn’t even think. Not with his hand on you, not with his voice all low and close like that, like a secret being whispered in a confessional.

“Bet he can’t even fuck ya right,” Joel muttered, more to himself than to you, like the words had slipped out from somewhere dark and unchecked.

“Joel,” you said, eyes wide, voice trembling, every part of your body pulsing with heat and something dangerously close to arousal.

But he didn’t back away. Didn’t apologize. Just looked at you harder, darker, like he wanted to pull every secret from your lips one by one.

“Am I right?” he asked, his thumb pressing slightly into your hip, his voice rough now, frayed around the edges. “Answer me.”

“He’s—” you stuttered, struggling to find breath, to find balance. “We—”

Joel leaned closer, close enough that you could feel his breath on your cheek, close enough that your body instinctively tilted toward his like gravity itself wanted to betray you.

“What?” he asked again, quieter this time, more intimate. “Tell me, baby.”

You swallowed hard, lashes fluttering, unable to meet his gaze. “We’re waiting,” you whispered, cheeks burning. “I… I’m waiting for marriage.”

Joel stilled completely, his hand still on your hip, the silence stretching like a rubber band between you, pulled taut with something unspeakable.

“Is that right?” he said, his voice rasping out of him now — not mocking, not surprised, but so deep and low it made your thighs press together without thought.

And then, with a smirk so slow and sinful it felt like a hand dragging down your spine, he murmured—

“Wearin’ nothin’ but that little lace set… nipples hard and pussy barely covered… waitin’ for marriage?” He laughed under his breath, eyes glinting with heat as his thumb stroked over your hipbone again. “Sugar, you don’t look like you’re waitin’ for anything at all.”

You swallowed, the words catching in your throat before you could push them out, your body so tense it ached. “It’s true,” you whispered finally, barely able to look at him, your eyes darting toward the door, the hallway, the window — anywhere but the furnace of his gaze — “Joel… you should go. You have to leave.”

The reality of it struck you all at once — how easily someone could walk in, a bridesmaid, your mother, Luke, God forbid — how they’d see you like this, half-naked in white lace with your robe discarded, flushed and trembling in front of a man who wasn’t your groom but your fiancé’s father — and yet your feet didn’t move, your body didn’t pull away, your hands still resting lightly against his chest, clutching the fabric of his shirt like he was the only thing tethering you to the ground.

“Ain’t no one been in here?” Joel asked as the pad of his finger tapped once against the thin lace stretched over your cunt — then again, firmer this time — and your knees nearly gave out, a soft gasp escaping your lips as your entire body shuddered, the contact so sharp, so intimate, so forbidden you couldn’t breathe.

Your arms flew up, instinctive, desperate for balance, and gripped his shoulders for support, fingers digging into the fabric as your forehead dropped forward against his chest, your body swaying against his like it was trying to find safety in the very place it should’ve run from.

“No,” you said shakily, head turning slightly against him, your voice catching somewhere between shame and pleading. “I’m—Joel, I’m—no one’s.”

He stilled.

Everything in him seemed to go quiet, like your words had struck something sacred.

“Christ,” he breathed, low and reverent, his hand still cupping you through the lace, fingers twitching against the heat of you, “you mean to tell me…”

You felt his chest rise and fall beneath your cheek, could hear the raw edge of restraint unraveling in his voice.

“And you’re gonna let Luke be the first?”

You flinched, eyes fluttering shut as guilt and desire tangled painfully in your chest. “He’s my fiancé,” you said softly, almost defensively, even though you couldn’t lift your head from Joel’s chest, even though your body was pressing closer to his with each heartbeat. “We’re… we’re getting married.”

Joel exhaled, slow and heavy, his fingers dragging gently over the soaked lace between your legs, not quite touching, just tracing, feeling, memorizing.

His voice came softer now, but no less devastating.

“And still… he ain’t the one you’re tremblin’ for, is he?”

“I—” you tried to speak, to form a protest, a thought, anything — but your words were swallowed before they ever had the chance to live, devoured by the press of Joel’s mouth crashing down onto yours.

Warm, demanding, his lips slanted over yours with the kind of hunger that had clearly been simmering just beneath the surface, patient and quiet until now. His tongue swept into your mouth before you could process the heat of it, before you could decide whether to stop him, and his hands — large, calloused, far too steady — came to cradle either side of your face as though this were something sacred, something earned.

You gasped into him, the kiss knocking the breath from your lungs, your palms pressed flat against his chest at first as though you might push him away, but the moment was already slipping too far beyond your control. You were drowning in the taste of him, in the scent of whiskey and cologne and Joel, in the feel of his body against yours — broad, solid, unwavering — and before you could stop yourself, your lips parted further beneath his, soft and needy, a quiet sound escaping your throat as your hands curled into the front of his shirt and you kissed him back.

Joel groaned into your mouth, a deep, wrecked sound that came from somewhere low in his gut, and when he pulled back just an inch, just long enough to drag in a breath, his eyes were black with something feral.

“Fuckin’ knew it,” he muttered, almost to himself, voice rough with triumph, like he’d just uncovered a truth he’d been aching to confirm. “Little virgin with a mouth like sin… wearin’ lace for your weddin’, but kissin’ me like you’re starvin’ for it.”

His hands dropped then, feverish and impatient, fumbling with the buckle of his belt as you stood frozen, breathless, dazed beneath him, your lips still tingling, heart slamming against your ribs like it wanted to escape your body.

“A virgin,” he rasped, eyes dragging down the length of you like a man unwrapping a forbidden gift, “but still a fuckin’ whore for me.”

You whimpered — barely audible — but you didn’t deny it. Couldn’t. Because every inch of your body was betraying you, soaked and trembling and swaying toward him like gravity itself had changed direction.

Joel moved fast, years of control finally unraveling as he gripped your waist and guided you backwards, turning you effortlessly, and before you could register what was happening, you felt the soft brush of velvet behind your knees.

You bent instinctively, breath catching in your throat, and he pressed you down onto the couch — the same pale satin loveseat where your robe had been draped just minutes before — your spine arching as your knees folded beneath you, your chest bracing against the cushions.

Everything moved too quickly and yet not quick enough, your thoughts spinning, your skin burning, the cool air kissing your bare thighs as your position shifted, hips raised, your lace-covered ass now exposed, tilted up toward him like an offering.

You heard the clink of his belt dropping open.

And Joel — standing behind you now, belt unfastened — stared down at you with an expression so dark, so wrecked with lust and disbelief, you could feel the weight of it without even turning around. His breath came heavier now, the air between you thick and humid with something that felt like sin and smelled like cologne and sex, and when he finally spoke, it was little more than a gravel-coated whisper, ruined and reverent.

“Look at that fuckin’ view…”

The words made your spine arch involuntarily, heat crawling up your neck and pooling between your thighs, the lace of your panties so damp it clung to you like a second skin. You turned your head, looking back over your shoulder, your voice small and trembling, barely able to make its way past the knot forming in your throat.

“Joel… what are you doing?”

He didn’t hesitate. Didn’t blink. Just stepped forward, one hand settling heavy and possessive on the curve of your ass, his voice low and casual, like this was the most natural thing in the world.

“Gonna fuck you, sweetie.”

Your mouth fell open, a breath escaping so sharp it felt like a wound.

“Joel,” you gasped, your voice cracking from the inside out, but you didn’t move — didn’t pull away, didn’t protest, didn’t stop him — and that alone told him everything he needed to know.

His palm came down fast.

The crack echoed softly against the suite walls, sharp and sudden, your body jolting from the contact as you yelped in surprise, eyes fluttering shut from the sting that bloomed across your skin.

Joel’s hand returned immediately, smoothing over the flesh he’d just struck, warm and steady, grounding you through the burn.

“Gotta be quiet, angel,” he murmured, his voice rich and amused, thick with the kind of heat that made your toes curl. “Don’t wanna spook the wedding planner. She’ll come knockin’ if she hears you squealin’ like that.”

And then, with a patience so unholy it made your head spin, he lifted his hand again — and brought it down once more.

The second smack was firmer, more confident, and this time, he watched with a hunger so intense it bordered on reverence as a soft red bloom appeared across the curve of your ass, glowing beneath the sheer lace.

He exhaled like a man in prayer.

“Fuck…” he whispered, dragging his thumb along the edge of the mark, watching the skin warm and swell beneath his touch. “Look how pretty you blush for me.”

You whimpered, your cheek pressed against the cushion, fingers curling into the fabric as your body burned with shame and need, trembling under his hands, soaked through and aching for more.

“Should be sweet,” he murmured, almost to himself now, like he couldn’t believe what he was about to do, like it hurt him in all the wrong, delicious ways. “It’s your first time, ain’t it? Should be slow. Should be gentle…”

He paused above you, the solid weight of his chest hovering just shy of your back, his breath warm and steady against your ear as he whispered like he had all the time in the world, like this wasn’t happening in the bridal suite moments before your wedding. “…But you bent over so easy for me, angel,” he murmured, the heat of his words seeping into your skin like smoke, “didn’t even need to be asked — now I’m thinkin’ maybe you don’t want it sweet.”

You whimpered his name, the sound spilling from your lips before you could stop it, trembling with the need clawing its way through your chest. “Please, Joel,” you whispered, voice raw and soaked in shame and longing.

His lips brushed your ear, low and indulgent. “Please what, baby?”

You hesitated only for a breath, the humiliation of the words curling in your throat, but it was overtaken by need, by the aching, throbbing emptiness that only he could fill. “I want you to fuck me,” you said finally, your voice cracking under the weight of it, tears slipping down your cheeks now, mascara probably smeared, dignity long gone, “please, I—I need it so bad.”

Your hand moved before your thoughts could catch up, fingers reaching between your thighs to drag the drenched lace of your panties to the side, desperate to give him access, to offer yourself up in the most obscene, pleading way.

But Joel moved faster.

He stepped in, growling something low in his throat, and pushed your hand away like you were doing it all wrong. His fingers slipped beneath the waistband of the soaked panties and yanked them down with deliberate slowness, dragging the sticky fabric over your thighs, your knees, until it slipped free completely and left your bare pussy exposed, glistening and trembling beneath his gaze.

“No,” he muttered under his breath, more to himself than to you, his voice gravel-edged with hunger and reverence, “not to the side, baby — I wanna see all of it. Want nothin’ in the way of this sweet little pussy. S’too fuckin’ pretty to be hidden.”

You heard the soft rustle of fabric as he folded the panties once, then again, and without ceremony — like it was the most casual act in the world — he shoved them into the breast pocket of his suit jacket.

“Fuck,” he breathed, stepping back to take in the sight of you, bent over for him, lace bra hugging your chest, your ass bare and soft, and your pussy so slick it shone in the low light of the room. “She’s leakin’, baby. Soakin’ the fuckin’ air.”

You looked over your shoulder at him, your cheeks burning, your lip trembling, and when your eyes met his, you saw something wild and dark, something feral that had been buried under years of restraint and was finally, violently free.

Joel’s eyes dropped again to your cunt — pink, swollen, dripping — and he let out a low whistle, shaking his head like he was seeing something too good for this world. “Look at that,” he whispered, his thumb brushing along the curve of your ass, just shy of where you needed him most. “She’s just beggin’ to be filled, ain’t she? Never been touched, never been fucked, and already actin’ like she knows who she belongs to.”

His hand moved then, slow and reverent, fingers grazing your folds with barely-there pressure, teasing the slick mess between your legs. “You hear that?” he murmured, almost in awe as your body answered him with a wet, needy sound. “She’s talkin’ to me, baby. Cryin’ for it. She wants me bad — this pussy knows who she wants first.”

His fingers pressed deeper between your thighs now, soaked and shameless, and the way he touched you wasn’t rushed or careless, but slow and possessive — like he’d already decided that this part of you belonged to him, no matter who was waiting outside with a ring. He leaned in again, his mouth grazing the side of your jaw as he murmured low against your skin, every syllable thick with heat and power, “Tell me, sweetheart… did he ever taste you?”

Your lips parted, breath trembling, and it took you a moment to respond, because even now, as you knelt there in nothing but lace and sin, your body already given over, the shame still clung to your voice like it didn’t want to be spoken. “Yes,” you whispered finally, eyes fluttering closed, “he has.”

Joel’s hum was deep and thoughtful, his hand never stopping its slow rhythm as he circled your entrance with one thick finger, teasing you without mercy. He didn’t sound jealous, but rather contemplative — like he was trying to figure out how to rewrite every memory your body had ever known. And then, after another breathless pause, his voice dropped even lower, almost gentle now, as he asked, “And you ever suck him off, baby? Ever get that pretty little mouth of yours wrapped around his cock?”

Your cheeks burned, throat tightening, and you nodded once, eyes already glassy, tears hot beneath your lashes. “Yes,” you squeaked out, barely audible.

Joel exhaled slowly, like the sound of your voice had settled deep in his chest. And when he spoke again, it was with a reverence that made your stomach flip. “Then I reckon this tight little cunt’s still untouched,” he said, fingers spreading you open now, deliberately exposing the soft, slick heat he hadn’t even begun to take. “You’re gonna be tight, angel. Might hurt a little when I stretch you open.”

You shook your head hard, hips pushing back against his hand without even meaning to, your voice breaking apart on a moan. “I don’t care,” you gasped, the words dissolving into desperation, “please, Joel… I need it, I need you.”

The moment you said it — the moment that last piece of resistance crumbled — he moved like something primal had been set loose in him. His belt hit the floor with a low clink, and then you heard it — the sound of fabric shifting, his breath catching, the soft curse under his breath — and you turned your head, just barely, to see it.

Joel’s cock — thick, flushed, the tip already leaking — was heavy in his hand, larger than anything you'd ever taken, long and wide and veined in a way that made your knees shake. He looked down at you, still kneeling, still trembling, and the expression on his face was unlike anything you'd ever seen on him before — not protective, not amused, not even hungry — but possessive, like the sight of you below him, spread and waiting, had finally answered something inside him that had been restless for years.

Your eyes went wide, lips parting, and before you could stop yourself, the words slipped out — honest and stunned and burning hot. “You’re… you’re so much bigger than him.”

Joel’s brows lifted, his expression faltering for a moment like your soft little confession had caught him off-guard, and then his mouth curved into something dark and triumphant, a grin that held no humor, only heat. “Yeah?” he asked, voice soft but curling with something almost cruel. “That right, angel? My shy little girl just saw my cock and realized she’s been settlin’ for less all this time?”

Your face flushed deeper, but you nodded, thighs pressing together with need, your body already aching for the stretch.

Joel’s hand wrapped tight around the base of his cock, dragging the thick head through your folds, collecting your wetness and coating himself in it like it was something sacred. He let out a low groan, deep and reverent, as he whispered against your spine, “You’re about to learn what it means to be filled proper, baby — gonna ruin you so good, you won’t remember how he ever made you feel, and you’re gonna thank me for it.”

With one hand wrapped tight around the base of his cock, guiding himself with a precision that bordered on reverence, and the other braced firmly on your hip, his fingers digging into the soft swell of your flesh, Joel positioned himself behind you like a man about to sin so deeply he didn’t expect to walk away clean. He dragged the thick, leaking head through your folds one last time, gathering the wetness that clung to your skin like honey, before lining himself up at your entrance, pressing forward with a slow, relentless roll of his hips that knocked the breath straight from your lungs.

The moment his cock breached you — that first, unbearable stretch of thick muscle forcing you open for the first time — your mouth dropped open in a silent scream before the sound tore free of your throat, a strangled cry that buried itself in the pillow beneath your face as your fingers clawed at the cushions like you were trying to anchor yourself to something, anything.

Joel groaned above you, loud and ragged, like your cunt had knocked the air straight out of his chest, his breath hitching as he sank deeper into you, inch by devastating inch, until the full weight of his cock was buried inside your trembling body. “That’s it, baby,” he rasped, voice ruined and low, “that’s my good girl, takin’ it like she was fuckin’ made for it — Jesus Christ, this tight little pussy’s grippin’ me like she don’t wanna let go.”

Your thighs trembled, your toes curling, your eyes filling again with tears as you sobbed into the pillow, the fullness so sharp it hurt, a stretch so wide and foreign it felt like your body couldn’t possibly take it — and yet, the heat, the pressure, the weight of him made your entire body burn with something dangerously close to bliss.

He gave you barely a second, just enough to gasp for breath, before his hips drew back and slammed forward again, not with violence, but with intent — each thrust deep and punishing, like he’d waited long enough and now he needed all of you, needed to fuck you through the pain and into something filthy and perfect and his.

You screamed again, voice shaking, body arching up to meet him as he fucked into you, deep and fast and so much.

“Fuck,” you cried, the sound punched out of you, every word breaking on a moan as your body fought to keep up with the brutal stretch.

Joel leaned over you then, one arm bracing beside your head, his chest pressed flush to your back, his mouth at your ear as he growled, “That good, angel? You cryin’ on my cock ‘cause it feels that fuckin’ good?”

You could barely speak, could barely breathe, but you nodded helplessly, tears streaking your cheeks, your makeup a ruined mess, your pussy stretched around the thickest cock you’d ever felt in your life — and Joel, old enough to know better, too far gone to care, only fucked you harder.

Joel was relentless now, driving into you with a force that knocked the air from your lungs, each thrust impossibly deep, thick, and brutal, the sound of his hips slapping against your soaked flesh echoing through the bridal suite like a hymn made of sin. You were sobbing by then, not from pain but from the overwhelming stretch, the brutal pleasure that had overtaken your body like wildfire, every nerve lit up, every breath punched out of you, your throat raw from crying his name like it was the only thing you knew.

And then, without warning, he pulled you back — hard — one strong arm wrapping around your waist to wrench you upright until your back collided with his chest, your spine arched against the heat of him, your ass pressed flush to his groin, his cock still buried to the hilt inside your fluttering cunt.

He was still fully dressed — the open front of his suit brushing your bare skin, the crisp fabric harsh against your softness — and the contrast only made it filthier, more obscene, like you were some trembling little bride mounted by a man who hadn’t even bothered to take off his jacket before ruining you.

His hand slid up, slow and steady, until it wrapped around your throat, not squeezing, just holding — possessive and firm, a collar of ownership as he leaned down to growl in your ear, his voice thick with the sound of his own unraveling.

“Gonna cream all over this virgin fuckin’ pussy, baby,” he groaned, his cock throbbing inside you, twitching against your walls with every brutal thrust. “Gonna fill you up so deep, you’ll be walkin’ down that aisle with my cum drippin’ outta you.”

The new angle was dizzying — every stroke hitting something deeper, rougher, worse, dragging cries from your throat that didn’t even sound like words anymore. Your legs trembled violently, muscles going slack as the pleasure coiled tight in your belly, white-hot and blinding.

“I—I think I’m gonna—Joel—” you gasped, voice choked, your head falling back against his shoulder as your thighs began to shake uncontrollably.

“That’s it,” he rasped, fucking into you harder now, his grip on your throat tightening just enough to make your toes curl. “Come on, baby, give it to me — wanna feel this sweet little cunt clench when she lets go — fuckin’ knew you’d come all over my cock.”

And you did — with a scream so loud it barely sounded human, your pussy clamping down around him in waves, your entire body convulsing as the orgasm ripped through you, soaking him in heat and slick and something filthy and pure all at once.

Joel cursed behind you, a deep, raw sound of something breaking loose inside him, and his rhythm faltered as his hands gripped you tight, dragging you down hard on his cock one final time.

“Fuck—Jesus, I’m gonna—shit—” he growled, voice splintering as he shoved himself impossibly deeper, grinding his hips against you as his cock pulsed violently inside your pussy.

And then he came — hot and thick and overwhelming — spilling deep inside you in heavy, pulsing waves, each thrust slower now but just as deep, his breath hot and ragged against the side of your neck as he held you still, as if your trembling body could take any more. His hand remained wrapped around your throat, not squeezing now but resting there like a vow, like he couldn’t bear to let go of the place he’d claimed. Your insides fluttered around him, spasming weakly as his cock throbbed within you, every thick drop of his cum flooding your aching cunt, the sensation so warm, so full, so all-consuming, it felt like your body wasn’t your own anymore — like it belonged to him now, marked and filled and known.

You couldn’t speak.

Could barely breathe.

The heat curled through your chest like smoke, leaving you dizzy and dazed, your limbs too heavy to move as the wet, messy slickness dripped slowly from between your thighs.

Joel panted behind you, his mouth still close to your ear, his free hand still groping greedily at your breasts like he wasn’t finished, like he needed every last inch of you under his palms even after emptying himself inside you. And then, without warning, his mouth descended to your neck, kissing along your pulse point, soft and slow, then dragging lower — your shoulder, the curve of your back, the lace strap clinging to your flushed skin — every kiss a brand, every press of his lips a silent admission.

“Fucking perfect for me,” he rasped, the words spoken so quietly it felt like a confession, not meant for anyone but your skin.

Your legs gave out the moment he loosened his hold, and you collapsed onto the couch in a daze, your breathing shallow, mascara smudged, hair clinging to the sweat on your face, the inside of your thighs still trembling from the aftershocks. Joel stood, finally withdrawing from your soaked body with a low groan, his cock wet with your slick and his cum, and for a long, quiet second, he just looked down at you — completely undone, flushed and leaking, back arched against the velvet couch cushions like a vision he’d spend the rest of his life remembering.

He tucked himself back into his slacks with slow, practiced movements, the suit wrinkled now, his shirt untucked and his belt hanging loosely from the loops, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t thinking about his appearance. He was thinking about you — about what he’d just done — about the way your body still shook for him.

Then he bent down, breath still uneven, and slid one arm beneath your back, the other beneath your knees, pulling you gently until your hips were right at the edge of the couch and your legs were dangling over the side, parted just slightly from how loose and ruined you were. His large hands cradled your thighs as he looked between them, his expression dark and reverent, and he used both thumbs to part your folds, exposing your swollen, slick cunt — raw, red, flushed from the stretch — and the thick, creamy mess of his cum already beginning to spill from you.

“Shit,” he whispered, his voice cracking with awe and filth in equal measure, “look at that... she’s still full of me, baby. Still fuckin’ leakin’.”

He didn’t blink. He didn’t smile.

He just stared.

Joel leaned in again, no longer rough or wild, but slow, calm, tender, and pressed his mouth to yours with a softness so at odds with the filth he’d just whispered into your ear that it made your stomach turn with something dizzying. You whimpered into the kiss before you could stop yourself, lips parting beneath his without hesitation, and your fingers reached up to find the soft waves of his curls, threading through them like you needed him closer — like you needed him inside you again.

But just as his tongue swept into your mouth and your thighs shifted instinctively to pull him back between them, there was a knock on the door.

Sharp. Semi-urgent. A voice just outside that made your entire body lock up.

You gasped, eyes going wide, body tensing under his hands, panic flashing across your face as you turned to him in alarm, your mouth already open with a breathless, what do we do?

But Joel — calm, unbothered, still warm from the high of fucking you — only smiled, kissed your cheek once more, and moved like a man who had nothing to hide. He reached down, smoothing your sweat-slicked hair away from your face with one broad palm, and then reached for the discarded robe on the arm of the couch, holding it out with practiced ease.

“Put this on, baby,” he murmured, his voice so quiet and so casual that you almost forgot to be afraid. “C’mon now, just like that.”

Your hands trembled as you slipped the robe over your shoulders, the silk clinging to your still-damp skin, the warmth of his cum still sticky between your thighs, seeping down slowly as you stood there dazed and wide-eyed, heart hammering as Joel calmly walked to the door.

He opened it with a quiet click.

You couldn’t see much — just his body blocking most of the entrance — but you could hear the voice that followed, light and affectionate.

“Hey, honey,” Joel said, his tone so casual it made your head spin, “I was just checkin’ on her.”

And then Tess walked in.

Your future mother-in-law.

She entered the room smiling, holding a small clutch and wearing heels that clicked softly against the tile. But her smile faltered the moment she saw your face — the smudged makeup, the dampness still clinging to your flushed cheeks, the robe wrapped haphazardly over your trembling frame.

“Oh, honey,” she said, brows knitting together as she crossed the room, her voice full of concern, “your makeup’s a mess… what happened?”

You froze. You couldn’t look at her. Couldn’t speak. Could only look at Joel.

He let out a soft sigh, the kind that sounded burdened and weary, and stepped beside you like he’d been coaching you through a meltdown. His voice was soft, warm, careful — the voice of a father figure handling a delicate girl on the verge of collapse.

“Poor thing started cryin’ while we were talkin’,” he said gently, his hand brushing your shoulder like he’d been comforting you this whole time. “Think the day’s just gotten to her a bit. I was tryin’ to calm her down, but it’s all hittin’ her at once.”

Tess was already moving toward you, one hand reaching to grab a tissue, the other pulling her compact from her clutch.

“Oh, Joel,” she said with a little laugh, smacking his arm as she passed, “you always get her so emotional. You really gotta stop with all your big speeches before the ceremony, honestly.”

She was smiling, teasing, already wiping gently under your eyes, fussing with your hair, smoothing the fabric of the robe over your bare shoulders — and she didn’t suspect a thing.

But you could still feel Joel’s hand ghosting against your back.

Still feel the ache deep inside you.

Still feel the slow, hot trickle of his cum leaking from your pussy and onto the inside of your thigh.

And when he caught your gaze from across the room — his expression unreadable, calm, smug, and maybe even a little proud — you realized something awful.

You were still his.

And he wasn’t done.

🕊♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧

maybe i am deranged and disgusting but i am free xx hope yall enjoyed

[gibscngirls]

ellie’s community…

[gibscngirls]

a lover’s pinch | masterlist

professor!joel miller x f!reader

pairing: professor!joel miller x f!reader rating: explicit, 18+ minors dni series summary: a one-night stand with a charming texan turns into something much more thrilling when you discover he is your new college professor. joel miller is entirely off limits. but now that you’ve had a taste, will you be able to keep your hands to yourselves? series warnings/tags: au, university professor joel, age gap [20 something years diff], alcohol consumption, ethically dubious relationship due to inherent power imbalance, explicit smut, angst, secret relationship, joel has both his daughters, joel's profession is very ooc but the core of his personality [grumpy], lore [dilf], mannerisms [being a secret softy] etc etc are all as true to character as my two humble hands can manage. explicit warnings included in each part. main masterlist ziggy's moodboard | ziggy’s moodboard II sil's moodboard ALP playlist

one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight |

╰┈➤ night breeze [an ALP interlude set between seven & eight]

[gibscngirls]

you want to fuck him i want to consume him i want to live inside his skin like a beast in the walls of his house i want to be his birth and his death and his beginning and his end and his undoing and his armageddon and his divine creator i want to eat him whole i want him to love me love me love me love me as the worshippers love the temple and as the temple loves the lamb and as the lamb loves the knife i want to be his vampire i want to be his life i want him to tear me apart i want to create worlds out of him and destroy them and destroy him and have him wake up in the morning next to me i want to call him pretty i want to brush his hair i want to crack him up i want to choke him i want to make him bleed i want to kiss the blood from his skin i want him buried deep inside the wound of my desire i want him to be my best friend i want him to loathe me i want to fight him to the death i want to be his favourite girl his favourite villain i want to be his worst fear i want my fingers in his mouth i want my mouth on his jugular i want to be the only thing inbetween him and death eternal i want my teeth in him i want i want i want i want

[gibscngirls]

trailer park au!joel and ellie

[gibscngirls]

Joel Miller x Reader Lips of an Angel

Summary: You left for school, chasing a better life. Long distance wouldn’t work. You both knew it. So you ended things, moved on. Or at least, that’s what Joel thought… until the phone rang just before midnight on his birthday, and there you were—sounding just as sweet, just as lovely as he remembered. And just like that, everything he’d buried came rushing back—to his mind, his chest… every part of him that still ached for you.

tags: porn with plot, smut MDNI, masturbation, adultery, phone sex, dirty talk, legal but big ol' age gap (reader in her mid 20s? Joel late 40s), daddy kink. voice kink, size kink, unresolved feelings, jealous!Joel, sexting, dual pov, no outbreak, inspired by Lips of an Angel by Hinder word count: 10k a/n: I won’t lie, this has been on my mind for weeks. I'm literally obsessed sorry I went a little crazy here

Joel hated his birthday.

Always had, always would.

There was nothing special about getting older—just meant more gray in his beard, more aches in his back, and another year closer to being one of those old men who grunted every time they stood up. But this one? This one really cemented the fact that he was damn old.

Forty-nine.

And what did he get to celebrate it? A stiff peck on the lips from his girlfriend this morning, followed by a Happy birthday, babe! as she slid a gift card across the table.

Fifty bucks to Home Depot.

Like he was some suburban dad who got his rocks off walking through the lumber aisle. 

Not a nice dinner. Not a thoughtful gift. And sure as hell not a blowjob.

Not that he was expecting much on that front. It had been months since the woman put her mouth anywhere near his cock, and even when she did, it was with the enthusiasm of someone doing court-ordered community service. He’d long since stopped asking. Joel wasn’t about to beg for something that felt more like an obligation than want.

So instead, he spent the night on the couch, working through a couple of beers, half-watching highlights of last week's football game on TV while she went to bed early, leaving him alone on his own goddamn birthday.

Sarah was out of the house—he’d told her to go have fun with her friends after dinner, not wanting her to feel obligated to sit around with him all night. She’d given him a sweet hug before she left, gifting him his old watch—the one he’d completely forgotten about, buried somewhere in his collection of things he’d sworn to get to someday. A thoughtful gift, something that actually meant something. His heart had tugged somethin’ awful when he’d opened it, and he put it on right away.

But now, standing in the dim light of the bathroom, Joel looked at himself in the mirror, scowling at the tired man staring back at him. He exhaled sharply through his nose, running a hand over the scruff of his jaw.

God, he was getting old.

A muscle in his jaw twitched as he shifted, adjusting himself in his jeans. The rough denim chafed against his briefs, which dragged against his cock, and for the first time tonight, something other than irritation stirred in his chest.

What he wouldn’t do for a fucking blowjob.

But his only source was long asleep now, curled up under the covers, completely oblivious to the fact that he was standing in the bathroom, half hard, frustrated, and more than a little bitter.

Joel sighed and turned, leaning back against the porcelain counter, his fingers pulling at the leather of his belt and shifting down the waistband of his jeans, wrapping his hand around himself with a quiet hiss. His head tipped back as he gave himself a slow, steady pull, trying to work up something, anything to get fully hard.

He tried picturing her mouth around him, but the image wouldn’t stick—not when all he could think about was the dry, dismissive kiss she’d given him this morning, like they were some elderly couple celebrating their fiftieth anniversary.

His grip tightened.

He could still hear her voice, all saccharine and uninterested. Happy birthday, babe.

Didn’t even try to make it special. Hell, he’d always gone down on her. Would spend ages between her thighs, dragging her over the edge until she was too sensitive to take any more, and he hadn’t even minded—he liked making her come. Liked hearing the sounds a woman made.

But when it was his turn? She always had some excuse. Too tired. Too late. Too much work.

His jaw clenched, frustration buzzing under his skin as he stroked himself, but it wasn’t enough.

His mind started reaching for anything else—porn, maybe. That might do the trick. He fished his phone from his back pocket, but with his jeans bunched down around his knees, it was awkward, fingers too big for the small screen as he finally pulled it out and tried to type with one hand.

The damn thing slipped.

“Shit,” he muttered as his hand reached for it haphazardly until it hit the floor with a loud crack.

Joel bent down, his hand still wrapped loosely around himself as he grabbed the phone, turning it over to inspect the screen. Still intact.

He exhaled a small sigh of relief, only to freeze a second later.

The app open on his screen wasn’t the one he’d meant to pull up. In his scramble to catch the phone, his fingers must’ve swiped across the screen, opening Facebook instead.

Joel never used the damn site. Sarah had made him a profile years ago, mostly to keep up with her school events and soccer team updates. He never posted anything. Sometimes Sarah would tag him in photos, like the one from her soccer match today, and they’d show up on his profile. Hell, most of the time, he didn’t even remember he had the app at all.

Except for when he did. Because every now and then, he’d find himself searching for someone he wasn’t supposed to be looking for. 

Someone he hadn’t seen in two years.

And when he glanced at his screen now, his stomach dropped.

Right there, at the top of his feed, was a photo of you. Bright-eyed, beaming, holding a diploma in hand.

So, you’d done it. You’d gotten your degree.

That was why you left. Why you’d sat on his couch that night, knees curled up under you, eyes red-rimmed and wet as you told him it wouldn’t work. That long distance was impossible. That you had to go, that he had to let you. And maybe he didn’t say much—maybe he just sat there, jaw tight, arms crossed, nodding along like he’d expected it all along—but it didn’t make it any easier to swallow.

Because deep down, he had known.

Knew he couldn’t keep you. Knew you had bigger things ahead of you, a future you’d worked too damn hard for to throw away on a man like him. You were young, and he—well, he wasn’t. He was set in his ways, tied down to Austin with a business, a daughter, a life you were never meant to fit into long-term.

What he didn’t know was how the hell he ever got you in the first place.

Maybe that was the cruelest part of it all—because it wasn’t him who begged. Wasn’t him who chased.

It was you.

You were the one who looked at him like there was no one else. Like no other man could ever come close, no matter his age, no matter how stuck in place he was. And for a while, he let himself believe it. Let himself have you. Let himself feel what it was like to be wanted, truly wanted, by someone like you. Someone who was sweet and charming and funny and beautiful. Someone good.

The one that got away. That’s what all the songs and movies called it.

So Joel did something very stupid, and he tapped your name at the top of your photo, taking himself straight to your profile. He swiped through the pictures. Just to see, he told himself. Were you happy? Were you content? Did you have someone? He scrolled past a photo of you and a boy. Stupid floppy hair and polo. Did he treat you well? Did he touch you like he—

His breath hitched.

Joel blinked down at himself, realizing his palm was still wrapped around his cock, his grip tight, squeezing without even thinking. He was suddenly rock hard. 

Jesus Christ.

Joel slammed his phone down onto the counter, the sharp sound cutting through the silence. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the tension out of his body, the thought of you from his mind. As hard as he tried to picture anything else– those porn stars he liked, an actress, hell, his own damn girlfriend– they kept getting shunted by memories of you that suddenly crashed over him in waves like some cursed memory reel. His mind played you back to him in perfect clarity: your body beneath him, your big, pleading eyes, the way you used to beg to have your mouth on him, the way you’d ride his face, his cock, head thrown back and pussy clenching around him like a goddamn vice.

He let out a sharp breath, his hand still curled around himself, hips twitching forward into his fist before he forced himself to stop. He needed to stop this.

And then, a sudden buzzing had his mind finally quieting as his breath hissed, looking down onto the sink where he’d thrown his phone. 

Bzz bzz.

Oh god.

Bzz bzz.

His stomach dropped. His heart fucking lurched.

This had to be some kind of sick joke.

Had he butt-dialed? Had he fumbled so badly—opened Facebook, scrolled through your pictures, and somehow hit 'call' in his stupid desire befuddled haze?

Because why the fuck was your name popping up on his screen at this time of night?

You hadn’t spoken to him once in the two years since you left.

It had been too hard, too much, too tender of a wound to press against. You told yourself it was for the best, that letting go meant really letting go—but tonight, in your bed, with your phone in your hand, staring at a photo Sarah had posted after a soccer match, that resolve started to crack.

It was just a picture. Just her and her dad, both smiling– her sweaty from the game, his arm slung around her shoulders.

But your eyes weren’t on Sarah.

They were on him.

Joel.

Your stomach clenched, something deep and familiar twisting inside you as you traced his face on the screen. His hair was grayer, beard a little thicker. But it was his eyes that held you captive. Something about them, something in the way he smiled—it was dimmer than before. Like something was missing.

And then something clanged into place as you looked at the date above the photo.

It was his birthday.

He’d told you once—if you ever needed anything, no matter how much time had passed, to call. Emergency, bad date, ride home after a night out—didn’t matter.

But you never had. Never dared.

Because you knew—one moment of hearing his voice, and you’d be packing your bags, catching the next flight home to Texas.

Still, the longer you stared at the photo as you laid in your bed, the harder it was to talk yourself out of reaching out. You wondered if he’d had a good day. You knew he had a girlfriend now, and you wondered if she had treated him to anything special. If they’d gone out to a nice dinner, if she’d…

Your breath caught in your throat, fingers tightening around the phone.

Your pulse was already picking up as you squeezed your eyes shut.

Before you could stop yourself, your eyes flew open and you were tapping his profile. Scrolling. Searching.

God, you shouldn’t be doing this. But each photo only made it worse—the memories slamming into you like a tidal wave. Sweet, simple moments sprawled out on a blanket by the soccer field, screaming your lungs out for Sarah’s team, laughing when Joel grumbled about the refs. Late nights at the diner, splitting a milkshake, your knees brushing under the table, his eyes warm when he watched you sip from the straw. Wandering the dusty aisles of the old record store, flipping through stacks of vinyls, sneaking glances at the way his hands—so big, so rough—handled them with care. Then the memories, damn them, the clearest ones, swarmed your mind like a thousand bees. The weight of him pressing you into his mattress, his body heavy, warm, covering you completely. Those same hands, no longer careful but gripping, claiming, leaving bruises in their wake. His mouth dragging over your throat, your shoulders, your thighs, teeth scraping, tongue soothing. And that voice. Low, gravelly, rich with something dark, something sweet, something only you ever got to hear, whispering filth into your ear until you were shaking.

A slow heat started to pool between your legs, your thighs pressing together as you kept scrolling, the ache building, your breath coming a little faster.

You shouldn’t call.

You shouldn’t.

But your thumb was already hovering over his name as you opened up your contacts app.

And before you could stop yourself, you tapped it.

The line rang once.

Twice.

Then, “...Hello?”

Your breath caught in your lungs, fingers tightening around your phone, suddenly too warm, hands clammy, pulse racing against your chest.

“J-Joel?”

There was a beat of silence. Then he exhaled—a low, quiet sigh, almost like relief. Like he was just as surprised to hear your voice as you were to hear his.

“Honey, why you callin’ me so late?” His voice was quieter now, lower, like he was speaking into the phone from somewhere dark. Like maybe he didn’t want someone else to hear him. Then, softer, “Is everything okay?”

God. The pet name.

Already, he was undoing you, his voice so hushed and soft. It settled low in your belly, turning you to molten heat, just like you knew it would.

You swallowed, pulse hammering, suddenly too warm and you weren't even under the blankets.

“Yeah,” you rushed out, voice thinner than you wanted it to be. “Yeah, everything is fine.”

Your fingers twitched at the hem of your pajama shorts, rubbing the fabric between them, grounding yourself in the sensation. Your mind was completely blank, you wish you’d thought of what the hell you were going to say to him once he actually answered.

You squeezed your thighs together, heart hammering, breath shallow.

“I… I wanted…” you trailed off, exhaling a shaky breath. “I wanted to wish you a happy birthday.”

It sounded stupid now. No contact for two whole years and that’s all you could come up with?

You waited, heart in your throat, listening for his response.

He let out another sigh, like he was trying to keep himself together through the phone. You wondered for a moment if your voice affected him just as much. 

“It’s kinda hard to talk right now,” he murmured, voice hushed.

That wasn’t what you were expecting.

Hell, you weren’t even sure what you were expecting. Some kind of revelation? A confession? That he missed you just as much as you did him, that he shared your thoughts that no matter how much time had passed, no matter who you tried to date to fill the hole he left, no one compared to him? 

But he was quiet. Almost distant. You should’ve known better, known better than to call after all this time. It was your fault, after all. 

Your stomach twisted. Your throat burned. Tears pricked at your eyes before you even realized they were coming.

“Honey, why are you cryin’?” he asked suddenly, voice sharper now, more alert. He must’ve heard it, the way your breath hitched, the way the silence stretched just a second too long. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

You sniffled, trying to hold it together. He was always like this—always knew when something was wrong, always saw right through you even before you understood it yourself.

“I’m fine,” you whispered, voice shaky. “I just… I missed you. Your voice.”

There was a long pause, and then, “I miss you too.”

Not just your voice. Not just whatever this had turned into.

He missed you.

Your breath caught, fingers gripping your phone even tighter.

“Why are you whispering?” you asked quietly. “Where are you?”

He breathed in deep, something rustling in the background. You could almost picture him shifting, running a hand over his face, maybe rubbing the back of his neck like he always did when he was tense.

“My girl’s—” A slight pause. “My girlfriend is in the other room.”

Oh. Right. Girlfriend.

Just like you very well had a boyfriend. One who wouldn’t like knowing you were talking to your ex in the middle of the night. Your much older, and, in your opinion, much hotter ex.

You swallowed hard, your stomach twisting, reality settling in cold and sharp.

“Oh. Of course.” Your voice barely made it past your lips. “I can let you go. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“Why’d you call?” His voice cut through yours, low and firm.

You froze. That… wasn’t what you were expecting. You thought he’d let you go. Let this slip away like he probably should have. But instead, he was asking.

“Why now?”

The question nearly knocked the breath from your lungs. You weren’t sure you had an answer. At least, not one you were ready to say out loud. So, instead, you told the truth.

“I saw that picture of you and Sarah at her soccer match.”

Joel made a noncommittal Mhm, waiting for you to say more.

Your fingers twisted in the hem of your shorts, your throat tight. “You look… you look happy.” A lie, but you didn’t want to say what you truly felt. That the twinkle in his eye looked like it had been blown out like a candle. 

Another pause. He didn’t say anything at first, just breathed slow and steady on the other end of the line.

“Are you happy, Joel?”

A long, thick silence that stretched between you, the weight of it pressing down hard. You barely even realized you were holding your breath, waiting, anticipating, heart still hammering, a low thud in your ears.

Then his voice came through the speaker, lower now. Rougher.

“…You askin’ ‘cause you care or ‘cause you wanna hear somethin’ else?”

Your lips parted, stomach twisting, heat curling low in your belly. His tone had shifted—just slightly—but you felt it. Like a spark igniting something dangerous between you.

Your thighs pressed together instinctively, warmth spreading through you, and your fingers toyed with the fabric of your shorts again, this time for a very different reason.

“'Course I care. Why would I want to hear anything else?” you whispered, but the words didn’t sound innocent.

Joel let out a slow exhale through his nose, “Dunno,” he murmured, voice dropping even lower. “You tell me, honey.”

And just like that, the air between you changed. It was still thick, still charged, but now there was something else. You swallowed hard. His voice, so low, steady, dipping into something dangerous, sent heat curling through your stomach, settling deep in your core.

“I don’t know what you mean,” you murmured, but the words came out soft, breathy, full of something he was smart enough to catch.

Joel let out a quiet chuckle, low and rough, the sound vibrating through the speaker.

“Honey,” he drawled, like he didn’t believe you for a second.

You felt it now, the shift between you. The slow unraveling. The way your body reacted to him like muscle memory, like instinct, like no time had passed at all.

“I saw you in that picture,” you admitted, voice quieter now, fingers ghosting along the inside of your thigh. “And I just…”

You were breathing too heavy now. Your skin felt too warm, your heartbeat thrumming heavy in your chest, your hand trembling slightly where it gripped the phone.

“I just started thinking about you,” you confessed.

Joel went quiet. Not the kind of quiet where he was trying to figure out what to say. The kind of quiet like he knew exactly what kind of thoughts you were having.

“Yeah?” he said finally, voice softer now, but rougher somehow, like gravel dragged over silk. “What exactly were you thinkin’ ‘bout, baby?”

Your whole body tensed, the pet name sending a jolt through your spine. It was unfair how easily he still did this to you, how effortless it was.

You exhaled slowly, shifting against the pillows, the hem of your shorts riding up your thighs.

“…You,” you whispered.

Joel hummed, like he wanted more, like he was just waiting for you to say it.

You swallowed, fingers trailing over the curve of your stomach, your muscles tightening at the thought of him on the other end of the line—shirt rumpled, sprawled back against something, his fingers dragging through his hair, trying to decide if he should stop this before it went too far.

But he wasn’t stopping.

“Tell me,” he growled under his breath, “Does that frat boy of a boyfriend take care of you?”

Your fingers tensed against your skin, crimson blush flooding your face, but your mouth was faster than your shame, “Does your girlfriend take care of you?”

There was a beat of silence, then a chuckle, “Can’t say it’s the same.”

You bit your lip unconsciously, what the hell did he mean by that?

Your chest tightened, heart pounding as warmth licked up your spine, making your skin feel too tight, too aware. It was familiar—he was familiar. That rush Joel Miller always gave you, even now, even after all this time. Your legs squeezed together, desperate for friction, for something.

“Not even on your birthday?” you pouted playfully, voice dipping into something teasing, something that felt too easy despite how wrong this was.

Joel hummed, voice quieter now, like he was thinking about it, “Not even for my birthday.”

Your fingers curled against the sheets before moving back to your shorts again, lips parting. Your body was betraying you, already giving in, the heat pooling low, making your head swim.

“I would’ve—”

You stopped.

Your breath hiccuped, your body going still as your fingers rested against the soft fabric of your pajama shorts, right there, hovering, your pulse thrumming in your ears.

You needed to stop.

This was wrong. So, so wrong.

Joel must’ve sensed it, must’ve heard it in your silence, because his voice softened, still low but gentler now, sweeter.

“Easy, honey,” he murmured. “Once you cross that line…”

Like a warning. Like he was trying to keep you from falling over the edge—like he was trying to keep himself from doing the same. It already felt too late.

You sighed, exasperated, on fire, like you’d been running from this feeling for too long and now it was catching up to you, wrapping around your throat, dragging you under. “I just think of you all the time, Joel,” you admitted, voice unsteady, heavy with something deeper than just need.

There was a pause. You could hear his breath—slow, steady, but not controlled.

“Nothing ever…” you trailed off, eyes squeezing shut, chest rising and falling unevenly. “It’s not the same for me either, Joel.”

Another sharp inhale on his end, like your words hit him, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear them or if he’d been waiting for them.

“It’s really good to hear your voice,” he said, and you recognized what he was doing. Steering you both away, trying to veer off that edge before it was too late. “Just as sweet as I remember, baby.”

Your stomach flipped. Your fingers clenched the fabric of your shorts, crumpled now from your grip..

“Do you think of me, Joel?”

Another long silence.

Joel Miller was going to hell.

That was for certain.

Your voice—soft, sweet, and yet goddamn sultry—wrapped around him like a noose. And the worst part? You weren’t even trying.

Didn’t even realize how you sounded, how your voice had dipped just a little lower, quieter, breathier. That sugary lilt that went straight to his cock, made his pulse throb behind his teeth.

His jaw clenched, his grip flexing around himself, fingers tightening as his stomach tensed. Hard to soft to rock fucking hard again, like his body had been waiting, hoping for an excuse, for just the smallest reason to give in.

And now you were giving it to him. Unknowingly handing him the rope to hang himself with.

He sucked in a slow breath, trying to get his shit together, but it was a losing battle. he tucked the phone between his ear and shoulder, using his now free hand to run it over his face, his thumb and forefinger pinching the bridge of his nose like it might somehow stop the inevitable.

It didn’t.

Because your voice was still there. In his ear. In his head. Under his skin.

Do you think of me, Joel?

He squeezed his eyes shut, his grip tightening again, fingers flexing over the thick length of himself as his cock twitched in his palm.

“…You know I do.”

The silence that followed was deafening. Heavy. Like the two of you were teetering over the edge of something dangerous, forbidden, inevitable.

“When?”

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

Joel exhaled, sharp and slow, head tipping back, jaw locked so tight it ached.

“All the time, baby,” he said, sighing out the breath he'd been holding in.

He heard it then—your breathing, uneven, picking up with every inch closer you both crept to the edge. He should stop, should shut this down before it went too far.

But Joel had never been able to keep himself in check around you.

Not when Tommy had pulled him aside, voice low and pissed, telling him it wasn’t right, that you were too young, that people were talking. Not when the side-eyes and whispers started when the two of you were out together, your little hand in his, the way you’d lean into him and brush your lips against him. Those sweet, sweet lips. Like a fucking angel.

He could never say no to you.

Not when you had him wrapped around your pretty little finger. Not when you nearly begged for him every night, made those sweet noises, pleading and needy and hungry. No man is his right mind would deny you.

Oh, he was sooo fucked.

His hand flexed around his cock, the weight of it heavy, throbbing, aching in his palm.

“Was thinkin’ about you tonight too,” he admitted, voice lower now, rougher, slipping into that sweet spot where he knew exactly what he was doing. If he was going to hell, he might as well take full advantage the whole way down.

“Yeah?” you whispered.

That single word sent a shiver down his spine. He could hear it in your voice and he wondered if your body was betraying you just as his was.

“I was…” He said, hesitating a bit, fingers tightening around himself, heart thudding hard in his chest. Fuck, was he really gonna admit this?

“I saw your picture on Facebook,” he admitted, voice gruff, raw, like it physically hurt to say out loud. “Was lookin’… lookin’ through your page.”

Silence.

“You were stalkin’ me, Joel Miller?”

Joel let out a sharp breath, somewhere between a chuckle and a groan, his stomach twisting, churning, that hunger clawing at his insides. Because fuck, hearing his name on your lips again—low and teasing, all soft and sweet like it had been made for you to say—made something dark and needy snap inside of him. 

It didn’t matter how much time had passed.

Didn’t matter that you were miles away, years removed from him.

He needed you like he needed the very oxygen he breathed, like his heart had only been keeping his old ass alive long enough to get back to this.

“Only a little,” he chuckled, voice low, rough, barely there.

His hand squeezed tight at the base of himself, a groan slipping through his teeth. If he didn’t get off soon, he was going to fucking implode. He could feel it, the pressure mounting, the tension coiling so tight he thought it might break him in half.

There was still a part of him—the righteous, rational man—who told him to stop. The one who had tried so fucking hard to be better. Just end this now, hang up the phone, put on some shitty porn and get himself off like he always did. Alone. Like he was supposed to. 

But the devil—the one he was headed for either way—whispered louder.

“‘Sides, you sound like you were enjoyin’ the view too,” he said, a little breathless, picturing you with the phone in hand, looking at the photo of him from today, “What’re you doin’ now, honey?”

He could hear shuffling around on your end, like bed sheets or something soft beneath you. Settling into the bed, and Jesus, just the thought of you so pliant, so sweet and soft and in bed so innocently scrolling pictures of him…

“I’m… laying down.” Your voice had changed—softer now, lower. “In my PJs.”

His stomach flipped, fingers flexing without thought.

“You know, the little gray and white shorts—”

“And the matching little tank top,” he finished without thinking, the image flashing so damn clear in his mind, memories flashing in his mind of his own hands sliding up that tank top, underneath the fabric that was so soft and left absolutely nothing to his imagination. Except for now, he supposed.

A breathy chuckle on your end, teasing. “You remember ‘em?”

Joel gritted his teeth. “Fuck, baby.” His voice was raw now, unsteady, every nerve in his body lighting up. “Always loved how those looked on you. Made your ass look so fucking good.”

That part good man in him, the one with morals and a goddamn conscience, the one screaming at him to get off the fucking phone—was long gone. There was something about you, something that pulled at him, dragged out a part of himself he thought he’d buried.  The one who worshipped the ground you walked on, who got drunk off the way you used to look at him, the way you used to need him. That part of him had never left, never dulled, no matter how much time had passed.

His hand flexed around himself, squeezing at the base of his cock as his stomach tightened, as he let himself feel it—let himself remember. The way your body used to move beneath him, the way you’d whisper his name against his skin, the way you’d let out those sweet little whimpers, breathless and eager, begging for him. No one had ever sounded like you, felt like you, and he knew no one ever fucking would.

Joel let out a slow breath through his nose, steadying himself, his voice lower now, thick with heat and want. “Bet they still fit you real nice,” he murmured, gripping himself harder, his strokes slow, measured, his restraint hanging by a thread. “Bet you still look so damn good in ‘em, don’t ya?”

You exhaled a little laugh, breath still shaky, teasing, knowing exactly what you were doing to him. “They’re a little tight now, actually.”

And it was all he could do not to lose it right there.

Then, soft, playful, pure fucking sin, you said, “Wanna see?”

His cock twitched hard in his fist.

And his answer came out instinctive, raw, from somewhere deep in his chest: “God, yes.”

His phone buzzed against his ear seconds later. He pulled it back just long enough to glance at the screen, his hand still wrapped around himself, already knowing what it was, already aching for it.

Then he saw it. And he almost fucking came right then and there.

That damn little pair of shorts—hiked up so high on your hips, the soft, round curve of your ass spilling out the bottom, thighs pressed together, your skin looking so damn smooth, so fucking perfect.

And the way you took the picture—angled from above, like he was looking down at you, like he had you belly-down on the bed, back arched, ass up in the air—

Just like when you used to suck his cock in bed.

Begging. Pleading for him to come down your throat, to ruin you, to let you take it all because you could. Because you loved it.

His throat went dry, his cock throbbed, and his restraint snapped like a goddamn rubber band. He barely heard your voice over the rush of blood in his ears, over the sharp groan that slipped past his lips.

“Did you get it?” you asked, voice light, innocent, like you weren’t the reason he was about to lose himself in his own goddamn hand.

He grunted a rough Mhm, spit into his palm, his cock pulsing as he worked himself a little more, now slick and smooth. 

Your gasp came through the receiver, a sharp inhale, “Joel,” you whispered, breathless, “are you touching yourself?”

“Y-Yeah,” he choked out, squeezing his eyes shut, doing his best to picture it—your hand, your mouth, your sweet, clenching pussy wrapped tight around him, just like he remembered.

“What did you think about?” you asked softly, and fuck, you sounded so innocent, so needy, “When you saw the picture? Tell me, please.”

Like it wasn’t enough that he was already losing his mind imagining the way you used to beg for him—now you were actually pleading again, your voice syrupy, thick with anticipation, and he swore it was going to kill him.

His fist dragged up over the swollen tip of himself, a sharp hiss slipping past his teeth as he squeezed before sliding back down, forcing himself to hold back, to make it last. His hips jerked, instincts begging him to give in, to fuck into his palm until he lost himself completely.

But no.

He had to drag this out. Had to make you feel it, too.

His eyes flicked back to his phone, thumb hovering over the screen, looking at you. At those damn shorts squeezing each cheek, the soft curve of your ass spilling out, practically inviting his hands, his teeth, his lips.

God, the things he wanted to do to you.

To bite and slap and kiss every inch of you, just like he used to. His jaw clenched, his breath heavy, his cock twitching in his fist as he let himself sink into it.

“Was thinking that…” he trailed off, voice raw, his chest rising and falling with each slow, deliberate stroke. He swallowed hard, forcing himself to steady his breathing, forcing himself not to let this end too soon.

Your breath hitched on the other end. It felt it like a caress, like you were right here with him, like your lips were brushing against his ear instead of whispering through the receiver.

“Tell me,” you pleaded again, your voice so soft and desperate.

His eyes squeezed shut, his fist tightening around his cock, squeezing at the base, forcing himself to hold back the groan bubbling in his throat.

“Was thinkin’ about how good you look under me,” he admitted, his voice a little rougher now, slipping deeper into that place where there was no turning back. “How the angle reminded me of your sweet mouth on my cock.”

A whispered fuck came through the line, and Joel had to force his hand to slow down.

His jaw clenched, his breath heavy, his thumb teasing over the sensitive slit of his cock, spreading slick, adding just enough pressure to make his hips twitch. “Was thinkin’ about how I used to look down at you,” he murmured, words slow, like he was savoring them, like he was picturing it so clearly it hurt. “All wide-eyed, pretty little mouth stretchin’ over me—God, baby, you always took me so well.”

You let out the softest whimper, barely there, and it nearly destroyed him.

“You’d look up at me,” he continued, his strokes getting slicker, slower, teasing himself just as much as he was teasing you. “Bat those pretty lashes. Workin’ me over like you loved it. Like it was all you ever wanted.”

“I did love it,” you whispered, voice breathy, wrecked, needy, and fuck, fuck, fuck—Joel’s cock jerked in his fist, another deep groan spilling from his lips before he could stop it.

A soft, breathy moan came through the line, and Joel nearly dropped his phone again.

“Baby,” he rasped, his grip tightening, his breath heavy and uneven, “are you touching yourself too?”

“Yes, Joel, yes,” you whimpered, and fuck, it was more like a plea, an urging, just like you used to urge him to keep going, to keep fucking you, asking for it deeper, harder, more–

He was going to lose his fucking mind.

“Stop.”

His voice came sharp, commanding, cutting through the haze of slick heat between your thighs, through the desperate rhythm of your fingers teasing yourself through the tiny shorts that had long been soaked through.

Your breath hitched, your body stilling at the unexpected shift.

“…Stop?” you asked, incredulous, chest rising and falling in deep, uneven breaths, your fingertips still resting over your folds, damp with your own arousal.

“Want you to listen to me now,” Joel heaved through the phone, like he’d realized something, like it had hit him all at once. His voice was still wrecked, still thick and husky with want, but there was something firmer now. More in control, “Gonna listen to me, baby?”

“Yes, Daddy—”

Oh, shit.

Your body froze the second the word slipped past your lips, your breath stuttering in your throat, heat flushing up the back of your neck, “I—I’m sorry,” you gasped, voice rushed, panic creeping in. “Joel, I didn’t mean—”

“Daddy wants you to play with your tits, honey,” he said, like it was nothing, like he’d just been waiting for you to slip back into your old ways, waiting for you to give into him. “Do you remember how I used to touch you?”

Every nerve lit up in your body as heat coursed through you now, nipples hardening as you looked down at them, clothed and covered, licking your lips.

“Baby?”

“Y-yes,” you shuddered, your free hand dragging up your stomach, your fingers ghosting over the neckline of your thin tank top, “I remember,”

“Good girl,” he murmured, voice thick, warm, rich with something dark and hungry through the receiver. “My sweet girl.”

Your body reacted to the praise, stomach tightening, thighs clenching. You loved it when he talked to you like that—when he made you feel cherished and filthy in the same breath.

Slowly, you pulled down your top, letting your breasts spill free, nipples pebbled against the cool air. You dragged a teasing hand over one, not kneading yet, just pressing, applying the slightest friction with your palm.

It wasn’t him.

Wasn’t his big, warm, calloused hands, the way they’d palm your breasts, squeeze, flick at your nipples just to hear you gasp. You swallowed hard, already aching.

“Are you teasing yourself?” Joel rasped, voice like honey dripping with filth. “Teasing your cute, perfect tits like I did, baby?”

“Yes,” you breathed, eyes slipping shut, imagining his hands on you instead.

“Good,” he growled. “Want you to lick your finger now, get it nice and wet, and swirl it around your little nipple, honey. Can you do that for me?”

You moaned in response, sliding two fingers past your lips, tongue swirling around them, coating them in spit before sliding them out with a wet little pop, and Joel heard it. 

A deep, wrecked sound left his throat, and you knew he was squeezing himself harder now, barely holding on.

The second your fingers flicked over your nipple—slick, sensitive, teasing—a shocked gasp escaped your lips.

“Fuck,” Joel groaned, breath heavy, thick with need.

You could hear him swallow hard, could imagine him—head tipped back, hand wrapped tight around himself, his cock slick and aching in his grip, his chest heaving with desire.

“Can you picture me there, baby?” he murmured, voice smooth, coaxing, laced with pure sin. “Picture my mouth around you?”

Oh, God, you could.

Your body tensed, your breath coming quicker as the memory flooded back—the way Joel used to hold you tight, his strong arms caging you against him, his mouth hot and wet around your breast, tongue swirling, sucking, lapping at you like he couldn’t get enough.

He’d look up at you through those thick, dark lashes, gaze heated, possessive, worshipping as he worked you over. He’d groan against your skin, his lips latched onto you, devouring you, sucking until you were whining, until your back arched, until you were begging for more.

Your hand worked over your other nipple, slick and sensitive, the ache between your legs becoming unbearable.

“Fuck, Joel,” you whimpered, voice breaking. “Feels s-so good.”

He moaned into the phone, rough and low, his breath ragged in your ear. “I know, honey,” he whispered. “Now, trail your fingers down that sweet body of yours—slow.”

The last word was a command, and you obeyed without thinking, your body responding instinctually, muscle memory kicking in. Because with Joel, you always listened. Every word he spoke—whether praise or command or plea—was like dogma, something you bowed to, something you ached to follow.

“Joel,” you whispered, desperate, needy.

“Yeah, baby?”

You swallowed hard, your breath shaky. “Can I touch myself?” A pause, then softer, whining—“Please? Please, Daddy. I need it. Need you.”

Joel let out a deep, guttural sound, and for a second, he didn’t answer. You could hear it, the way his breath hitched, the way his grip tightened around himself, could picture him—his cock slick in his palm, pulsing, aching, his free hand gripping the phone, barely holding himself together.

“Not yet,” he murmured finally, voice rough, measured, dripping with restraint. “Want you to just gently tease. Let your fingers graze over your shorts, baby. Nice and slow, like daddy would,”

Your body obeyed before your brain even processed the words, fingers drifting down, skimming over the soft skin of your stomach, tracing the curve of your hips before ghosting over your mound in your tiny, soaked-through shorts.

The breath you sucked in was sharp and Joel groaned softly in response.

“You wet for me, sweet girl?”

“Yes, Daddy,” you cooed, eyes slipping shut, your fingers teasing the edge of the damp fabric, pressing lightly against your folds but never giving yourself what you really wanted, not enough to give yourself any real relief.

“Bet you are,” he rasped, voice thick, breath heavy. “Bet you’re fuckin’ dripping, baby. Just from my voice, huh? Just from Daddy telling you what to do?”

You whimpered, shifting against the mattress, legs squeezing together, hips rolling up subtly, trying to create the smallest bit of friction. 

A low chuckle rumbled through the receiver, dark and knowing. “Getting impatient, honey?”

You whined again, your fingers twitching, your whole body begging for more, for him, for relief.

“Please,” you whispered, “I need—”

“I know what you need, baby,” he cut in, voice low, soothing, but firm. “And you’ll get it. But you listen to me, you hear?”

You nodded quickly, before realizing he couldn’t see you. “Y-yes, Daddy. I’ll listen.”

“That’s my good girl,” he murmured. “Now—” a pause, a deep inhale, like he was picturing it just as vividly as you were. “I want you to slip your fingers under your shorts, baby. Feel how wet you are for me.”

You let out a shaky exhale, obeying immediately, fingertips slipping beneath the damp fabric, grazing over the slick heat of your swollen cunt.

The second you felt it—felt how soaked you were just from him, from his voice, from the way he knew your body even from miles away���you couldn’t hold back the moan that spilled past your lips.

Your eyes squeezed shut as you pressed against yourself, skin to skin, your breath hitching, pulsing under your own touch, but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t him.

“I miss you,” you murmured, voice small, breathless—then immediately corrected yourself, trying to recover, trying to keep this exactly where it needed to be. “Miss your mouth, Joel. Miss the way you made me feel so good.”

But he caught it.

His breath faltered, the sound of it shaky through the phone, followed by a long, deep exhale, like he felt those words more than he should.

“…Miss you too, baby girl,” he admitted, something rougher beneath it, something unspoken. Then, clearing his throat, pushing you right back under, owning the moment, “Gonna play with that pussy for me, right? Let her feel real good for me? I know she misses a real man’s cock.”

You groaned, your hips instinctively pushing into your hand, fingers circling over your aching clit, relief blooming in your stomach at the friction.

But it still wasn’t enough.

“Tell me,” he commanded, voice deep, firm, taunting. “Tell me what that stupid boy does for you.”

You whimpered, words incoherent, body tensing, toes curling against the sheets.

“He—he,” you swallowed, trying to collect yourself, trying to focus, but it was impossible with the way Joel’s voice had settled in your bones.

“It’s not the same—”

“Tell me.” he growled, sharp and rough and… Jealous?

He wasn’t going to let it go.

“Wanna know how he neglects you so bad you come runnin’ to Daddy for a fixin’, baby.”

Your stomach flipped, heat rushing through you, your fingers slipping lower, your body betraying you.

“Joel—”

“Go on,” he coaxed, voice thick, taunting but sweet, like honey laced with sin. “Tell me, baby. Tell me how he doesn’t take care of you.”

You shuddered.

Because fuck—he already knew.

“He…he fingers me sometimes,” you exhaled, voice barely above a whisper, breath shaky as your fingers pressed onto your aching clit.

Joel sucked in a sharp breath through his nose, but then, like he knew, “Stop playin’ with your clit, baby.”

Your body froze, instinctively obeying, thighs tensing as your hips twitched for more.

“I can tell you’re getting close,” he murmured, voice low, smooth, controlled, like he knew exactly what he was doing. “Just want you to take your time.” A beat. Then, deeper, commanding: “Slowly make circles around it—soft, teasing. Think about Daddy’s tongue on you, baby. Think about how I’d do it, yeah?”

You let out a shaky moan, pulling away from your swollen clit, dragging your fingers in slow, lazy circles instead, teasing yourself the way he would.

“Yeah,” you sighed, pleasure building, aching, the wet sounds of your slick filling the silence between you.

Joel groaned, a deep, low sound that sent a shockwave down your spine.

“Can hear that pretty pussy from here, baby,” he grunted, and you knew he was gripping himself tighter now, fucking into his fist, the slick sounds of his own hand barely muffled over the phone.

“Go on, then. Keep tellin’ me how Jack-Off Junior tries to fuck you.”

Your whole body tensed, pleasure crashing over you like a wave, a broken little moan slipping past your lips, because fuck, you shouldn’t love how filthy he was, how jealous he sounded, but God, it only made it so much worse.

So much better.

He wasn’t sure what exactly had come over him, but suddenly he was seeing red.

The thought of that stupid fucker—some kid, some boy—putting his hands on you, touching what once belonged to Joel, had his teeth clenching, his grip tightening around his cock until the pleasure almost blurred into pain.

“He, um…” you murmured, distracted, breathy, your mind clearly slipping, and fuck, he wished he could see you.

Sure, he could picture it—your body sprawled out, flushed and needy, your thighs trembling as you worked yourself open, the way you used to look when he had you like this—but it wasn’t enough.

He needed more.

Joel swallowed thickly, voice coming out lower, rougher, gritted, “Can you do me a favor, baby?”

A distracted little hum came from you, “Mmm?”

“Take a picture right now. Wanna see you.” he said suddenly.

“Only if I can have one of you.”

Oh.

So you were playing games. Joel would play. He loved to play.

“Fair enough, honey,” he muttered, flipping his camera open, angling the shot just right, careful to keep the focus exactly where he knew you wanted it.

His cock was thick in his fist, aching, flushed red at the tip, beads of precum pooling at the slit from holding back, from denying himself what he so desperately needed to release. His fingers flexed around the base, his breath shuddering as he gave himself a slow, teasing stroke.

“Sent,” he gritted out, using his thumb to smear the wetness over his tip, spreading it, slicking himself up, shuddering at the sensation.

Then, the phone buzzed and he looked down—

And fuck.

He had to take his hand off his cock completely before he fucking lost it. Because Jesus Christ, you looked like a dream. Not just any dream.

His dream. The one that had haunted him for the past 2 years. The one that had him waking up in the middle of the night, hard as a fucking rock, his cock pulsing so bad he’d have to grip himself through the sheets, the one that made him hop in a frigid cold shower to shake the thought of your little body beneath him.

In the photo, your breasts spilled over the top of your tiny tank, the hem bunched around your waist, your shorts still on, but the gusset pushed to the side, exposing just a little bit of your pretty pussy where your fingers were teasing yourself.

He let out a long, wrecked groan.

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

“Joel,” you moaned, voice thick with sin, dripping with need. “You look so good—just like I remember, so big and perfect and fuck—”

The wet, slick sounds coming through the receiver, your fingers working yourself, the breathless way you whined— it was all going to kill him.

He needed to come. He needed to.

But not before you.

“Want you to push your fingers inside, baby,” he ordered, voice low, taut, still clinging to that last shred of control. “Two. Now.”

You whined, hesitating for just a second, and Joel could hear your breath stutter, could nearly feel the way your body tensed in anticipation.

“Won’t feel the same as that beautiful cock, Daddy,” you sighed, voice like velvet in his ear.

He smiled despite himself. Only you could make him blush like a kid again.

“Does he make you come on his cock, baby?” Joel’s voice dropped lower, thick and slow, taunting as he wrapped his hand around himself again, “The way you used to come undone all over me?”

You’re moaning, your breathy sounds like heaven in his ears, spurring him on.

He pumped himself slowly, drawing it out, torturing himself, his mind flashing with the way your pussy used to choke his cock.

“Your pussy would milk me so well, honey,” he murmured, voice almost tender, thick with longing, with ache. “Would feel so fucking perfect and warm and tight around me, sugar.”

You whimpered, breath coming quicker, shaky, like you were barely holding yourself together.

“Jesus, Joel—”

“Does he?” His voice was harder now. Tense. On edge.

He needed to know. There was a long pause, filled only with the soft, broken sounds of your moans, the slick, wet noises of your fingers pushing inside yourself.

“No.”

Joel let out a sharp breath through his nose, a knowing sound, “No, huh?”

Another pause, another stuttered breath, “I have to do it myself,” you admitted, voice softer now, small, almost embarrassed. And That fucking broke him.

“After-after he leaves.”

Oh, now Joel was pissed.

“You gotta do it yourself?” he growled, voice deeper, rougher, nearly feral. His hand fisted his cock, working himself harder, faster, his control slipping with every word out of your mouth. “You lay there all alone, stuffin’ those pretty little fingers inside yourself ‘cause he don’t know how to take care of you?”

You whined, your voice barely a breath. “Yes, Daddy.”

“That’s a goddamn shame, baby,” Joel groaned, stomach clenching tight, his hips jerking up into his palm. “Bet that boy don’t even know how to touch you right. Bet he don’t know how to make you come like I do.”

“No one does,” you gasped, voice so small, so wrecked, and he could hear it, the way you were unraveling, the way your breath was coming out in fast, sharp bursts, the way your fingers were working yourself open, “You’ve ruined me Joel,”

“Fuck,” he praised, his voice thick, dangerous, dripping with possession. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry I’ve gone and treated you so good no man can compare, huh?” His hand tightened, stroking himself harder, groaning at the wet slickness coating his palm as he spits on himself again, at the way his cock pulsed at just the thought of you—fucking yourself open, stretching yourself, thinking of him while you did it.

“But that ain’t really my fault, is it?” he rasped, voice dark, teasing, cruel in the way he knew would make you fall apart.

“No,” you whimpered, and goddamn, the way your voice shook, the way you were gasping between words, had his stomach clenching tight, pleasure searing through his spine like a live wire.

“No, Daddy,” he corrected, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“No, Daddy,” you repeated, mewling, desperate.

“That’s my girl,” he grunted, his hips thrusting even harder at the sound, at the way you still said it like it belonged to him. Like you still belonged to him, even when you both knew better, "You've ruined me too, angel. Ain't no one like you." he wasn't sure why he was admitting it, he felt so drunk off the thought of you, his mind burning up like molten lava, scorching every bit of reason he had left.

“Now, I want you to fuck yourself on those fingers for me,” he ordered, voice thick with lust, heavy, nearly slurred from how wrecked he was. “Stretch yourself real good—want you open for me. Can you do that?”

“Yes, Daddy,” you whined, and fuck, he could hear it, the slick wet sounds through the phone, the way you were working yourself, the way your moans were turning higher, breathier, more frantic.

Joel grinned, mean and hungry.

“Tell me, baby,” he rasped. “Can you feel how tight you still are? Hmm?” He sucked in a breath, his strokes slowing just a little, drawing it out, making himself wait, even though he was so fucking close it was painful. “Bet you can barely fit those little fingers inside, huh?”

You let out a broken whimper, voice wrecked. “S’not enough, Joel,” you gasped.

“I know, honey, I know,” he cooed through broken breaths, “Know you need something bigger, huh?”

“Need you,” you admitted, whining, voice breaking on the words.

Joel groaned, his cock jerking in his fist, his whole body tense, stomach tight with how bad he wanted to see you, touch you, fill you.

“That’s right, baby,” he muttered. “Know you need my big cock to stretch you open proper.” He sucked in a breath, squeezing himself at the base, forcing himself to hold on just a little longer, just until he could drag this out and ruin you completely.

You let out a choked little moan, and he could hear how frantic your fingers were moving now, how much you needed more, how much you were aching for something you couldn’t have.

“Bet you can still feel it,” Joel murmured, voice smooth and soaked in filth. “Bet you can still feel how deep I used to fuck you, huh? How I used to stretch that pretty little pussy wide open—fuck you slow, make you take it all.”

“Y-yes,” you panted, your breath coming in ragged, desperate bursts.

“You miss it, baby?” he pressed, his voice dark, coaxing, his grip tightening around himself as he fucked into his palm, pace rough, chasing that edge. “Miss Daddy’s big cock filling you up, ruining you for anyone else?”

“Miss it so much,” you cried, voice trembling, breath catching, and fuck—he could hear it, you were right there, teetering, about to fall apart.

“I’m gonna—I’m gonna come,” you gasped, words tumbling over each other, desperate and pleading. “Please let me—let me come, daddy, please, please—”

Joel’s breath hitched, stomach tightening brutally at the sound of your begging, his cock pulsing in his fist, but fuck, you were going first.

“Come for me, honey,” he rasped, voice wrecked, commanding, pushing you right over that edge. “Now.”

Your cry shattered the air, sharp, needy, high and desperate, and he could just barely hear the wet slick sound of your fingers fucking yourself through it, pleasure crashing through you so violently he swore he could feel it through the phone.

And fuck, fuck, fuck, he was right there, right there, 

“Joel!”

The sound of his name on your lips, the lips that always tasted so damn sweet, so soft like heaven, it made him snap, his body locking up as he turned towards the sink. His jaw went rigid as his orgasm ripped through him like a fucking storm, his cock jerking violently in his fist as thick ropes of cum spilled over his knuckles, splattering on the porcelain, hot and endless.

A deep, wrecked groan tore from his throat, his body shaking, muscles trembling as the pleasure hit him in waves, rolling over him, dragging him under.

Both of you were heaving on the line, quiet and shocked by the clarity that so often followed mind blowing orgasms like the one he’d just had. He let his head tip back, exhaling slowly. His grip loosened, warmth still coursing through him, but his mind was already catching up, already reminding him what he’d just done.

Maybe he really was going to hell.

“…Joel?”

His throat was dry. His muscles still tensed, his cock still throbbing even though he had nothing left to give.

He smiled, despite himself, “Yeah, baby?” His voice was thick and gravelly, the exhaustion warm in his tone.

A soft laugh. “I… I can’t believe we just did that.”

Joel huffed a lazy, satisfied chuckle, running a hand down his face, still catching his breath.

“Me neither, honey.” A pause spanned between you, then, softer, he added, “Hope you don’t get in too much trouble with the boyfriend,”

“I won’t." you said, and then after a moment, added, "We broke up.”

Joel’s eyes flashed open, staring at himself in the mirror now, wrecked and exhausted and flushed with red, sweat beading on his face. He stuffed his cock back in his pants, turning away from his reflection again, “Yeah?” he murmured, his tone dipping into something a little too close to hopeful. “Good to hear.” That little shit never deserved you anyway.

He ran a hand through his hair, still feeling the last ghostly pulses of his release in his spine, still a little drunk off the sound of your moans, the way you’d whimpered his name, like he was the only goddamn thing in the world.

“Yeah, he was an asshole.” you chuckled.

“And Joel?” Something in your voice shifted—careful, softer, like you were weighing your words now.

“Yeah, honey?”

“I’ll be comin’ back soon…for the holiday. To see my parents,” you said, your voice lower now, carefully, treading with caution, “If you…wanted to get coffee or somethin’,” 

Joel swallowed thickly, his jaw ticking as he stared at the floor, trying to keep his cool, trying to make sense of the sudden shift in his brain.

Because he wanted to say yes.

God, he wanted to say yes.

Wanted to say yes to you and your big, bright eyes that looked up at him, that soft skin he ached to touch again, your easy smile—the one he used to live for, the one that made everything feel lighter—pulling him back in like no time had passed at all.

But time had passed.

And he still had a girlfriend.

The woman sleeping in his bed, the woman who—what? Gave him a gift card for his birthday? Barely kissed him? Didn’t even want to touch him the way you begged to run your hands over him? It was so easy to push her out of his mind when it was you on the other end of the phone, saying his name like he was still the only man in the world for you.

And if he saw you again, he’d need to figure that out first. Because he knew how easily he slipped back into you, how fast everything fell away when you were involved, how easy it was to forget about real life. 

But you had a life now, a future he wasn’t supposed to be meddling in anymore. He’d already made peace with that—or at least, he thought he had. Until tonight. Until you moaned his name through the receiver, shattering every bit of distance time had built between you. Until he forgot...about his girlfriend, about real life, about everything but you.

And that should have been enough for him to say no. Enough for him to put an end to this, to tell you that whatever had happened tonight was a mistake, that it couldn't happen again. That you both had lives now, separate paths that weren’t meant to cross anymore.

He should have told you that. He should have hung up the phone, let this be the last time.

But instead, before he could stop himself, the words were already leaving his mouth.

“That sounds real nice, darlin’.”

when I tell you im literally so obsessed and proud of this! I hope you liked it!! Please leave your comments and thoughts if you made it through this behemoth :')

[gibscngirls]

toxic relationship with Joel