gimmeyoursnacks

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Ancestry.com says I come from a long line of drunken village oafs

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a gift  details (x)

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they dont tell you this but like half of adulthood is just washing the same FUCKING pan

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“me when i lie” is the funniest way to call someone a liar the internet has cooked up thus far

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let's awooo with mama

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I appreciate The Empire Strikes Back for being the only time I can think of when a character just shot their enemy as soon as they saw them without pausing or having a dramatic moment beforehand.

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censorship

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Welcome to being a Latina you get THREE types of representation:

-Sexy

-Single mother

-sweat shop worker.

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my evil chalice came in but its so fucking small. goddamnit. they're going to make fun of me at the wizards circle tonight

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Sometimes it feels like you've lived your whole life in a house that's always a little bit on fire. Like it's usually just in one room and you make sure to wet the walls around it so it doesn't spread and that usually works. You were expected to take more responsibility over fire containment when you were like seven because it's not like you can expect your parents to always be 100% on guard about making sure the whole house doesn't catch fire, and you figure that's just how things are like.

And sometimes as a kid you visit your friends' homes and some of then whisper to you - grimacing with embarrassment - about how they're not supposed to tell anyone this, but there's a whole room in their house that's currently on fire. And you're like yeah it's ok I'm not supposed to tell people about the way our house is a little bit on fire all the time, too. And then you visit some other friend's house and there's no trace of fire anywhere, and you think "wow, these people are really good at hiding their house fire."

And one day you show up to work like "hey sorry I'm late, I forgot to wet the walls before going to bed last night and my whole house burned down", and you're startled by the way people react, acting like that must be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. And you're just like "chill, it's been years since the last time this happened, and it wasn't even that bad this time", and that just makes people more shocked, acting like that's the weirdest and most concerning thing they've ever heard anyone say, which only confuses you more.

And then someone tries to explain to you that people aren't supposed to have an ongoing house fire. Most people actually never experience a house fire in their lives. Like not even once. Not even a little bit. The normal amount of having your house be currently on fire is zero.

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"Naboo isn't ready for us!" like Naboo has never seen 4 Coruscanti high society bitches hopped up on refined Spice recklessly driving an airspeeder their parents bought for the price of a small continent

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anyone else wish they would get roped into a freaky friday body swap situation just for the hope that the other person will go "oh jesus fuck how do you live like this" and instantly validate your feelings of being Strange and Built Wrong.