gingernutsenthusiast - Tumblr blog

[gingernutsenthusiast]

im starting to think you guys dont like it when stories make you feel things

[gingernutsenthusiast]

dumb fuck. everyone's in love with you

[gingernutsenthusiast]

Richard Siken, War of the Foxes | Lord Huron, “The Night We Met” | Lev St. Valentine, There’s This Game I Play Every Morning | @notbigthief | Coldplay, “The Scientist” | @ruhlare | @mobydyke | John Green, Paper Towns

[gingernutsenthusiast]

sorry but i simply cannot take anyone seriously with this argument. being horny is not a crime. acting inappropriately toward another person is a different thing from simply perceiving them in a way that scratches your brain. but you cannot make sexual thought crimes (thot crimes) a thing without it leading down an EXTREMELY homophobic, transphobic path of "the WRONG type of person PERCEIVED ME and I DID NOT CONSENT TO IT." sometimes you will be perceived by people you personally are not attracted to, and i'm sorry, but that alone is not a problem. you do not need consent to find another person attractive. being horny is fine, actually. get over it.

[gingernutsenthusiast]

Mean Girls (2004) House MD (2009)

[gingernutsenthusiast]

it's fine: you can walk away from what you used to love.

will add credits!!! i swear!

. / . / . / doki doki literature club, Sayori's unsual poem 'get out of my head' / . / . / @/bpd-anz on tumblr / @/inanotheruniverse on tumblr / @/6aint on tumblr / .

[gingernutsenthusiast]

“Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.”

Sade Andria Zabala, Coffee and Cigarettes

Dean edition

[gingernutsenthusiast]

you've all heard of "it's rotten work." "not to me. not if it's you."

on unconditional love.

(sources either on pictures or unknown)

[gingernutsenthusiast]

“the point of kintsugi is to treat broken pieces and their repair as part of the history of an object”

David Mitchell // Hanif Abdurraqib // photo by @lakevida // @ashstfu // tiktok comment by @/muddafrigga // Miranda July // Pete Wentz // @jovialtorchlight // caption from Penny Reid [x]

[gingernutsenthusiast]

love & friendship - collected writings from side wounds and other poems

[gingernutsenthusiast]

life/love as an echo

Echo and Narcissus, John William Waterhouse / Teaching a Stone to Talk: Expeditions and Encounters, Annie Dillard / @arsanatomica / ? / Kindergarten Andy Warhol Pop Art Hands, Abby Schukei + Cueva de las Manos / @hawkeyedflame / eulogy from a physicist, edited by @petrichara / @hawkeyedflame / @chopnuts, about a video where a robin sang after the woman filming laughed / Metamorphoses, Ovid [trans. Melville] / Phenomenon #48, Angela Lane + Uranus, Sleeping At Last / ? / @princes-heels + The Mudflats Facebook page

[gingernutsenthusiast]

x ds : multiverse of madness (2022) // ‘night and day’ by virginia woolf // ‘on loving’ by forugh farrokhzad // atonement (2007) // everywhere, everything - noah kahan

[gingernutsenthusiast]

[gingernutsenthusiast]

Discworld is the only fantasy setting I know of that opens with The Magic Is Going Away and everyone is just kind of okay with it. Like “Welp, got to move with the times, can’t run a condom factory when there’s elves all over the place”

[gingernutsenthusiast]

smartphone storage plateauing in favor of just storing everything in the cloud is such dogshit. i should be able to have like a fucking terabyte of data on my phone at this point. i hate the fucking cloud

[gingernutsenthusiast]

Internet Safety

[gingernutsenthusiast]

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)