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If the universe is not telling me to go no contact and disassociate myself from almost everyone I know then I need to see something different in my life because that's the only message I'm getting.
I moved out of the state and that was the best feeling. It's isolating as hell but there's a peace that I just don't experience amongst "family".
I need a balance. A community of love and support to replace the disfunctional bs of a crowd I was born into.
I have had to undesire everything I've ever wanted and rebuild that vision.
I need someone like me to like me.
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Some of my best ideas come when I stay up until an unreasonable hour. 4am is like my Golden hour.
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I don't value or appreciate some of the things I used to because I AM BURNT OUT.
You can only pour your all into something that is not feeding you for so long.
Yes that was me and I loved being in that until I didn't. Looking back being that disgusts me.
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I know how to create restrictions. I know how to respect other people boundaries because I view them as restrictions. The problem is, when you're the one creating the boundaries it isn't as black & white as restrictions. I don't know how to create or abide by my own situational boundaries and I need to work on mastering that.
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You only appreciate the "worst" of me when it benefits you.
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I was never one to ask for much & that WAS my problem.
I want it all now & I want it the way I want it.
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