girlsnout - Tumblr blog

[girlsnout]

has anybody seen my pet piece of paper. his name is walter he is very fragile but very adventurous. i should never have left the window open in my tenth story apartment

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This meeting could have been a fresh autumn pear

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In these parts, they say, if you are lucky when wandering the wastes between city and town, you may encounter a truly exemplary creature. Its skin, like that of the rhinoceros, plates its body in geometric folds; its feet are like four enormous sand-dollars, pleasing to the eye and rapid in their movement. Its snout is broad with the same placid strength as a great ox and its breath is heavy and warm as the same, but its eyes flash so like those of a lion at night that no traveler could believe it truly tame for long. The name of this beast? Toyota Corolla.

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>the goblin leaps to attack!

>the goblin misses!

>the goblin has scraped his little knee!

>oh, his little knee!

>oh, his little knee!

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i love gifs that don’t loop. they had a story to tell and now they’re done

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I need to (remembers to not make casual suicide jokes in order to encourage a more outwardly positive mindset and healthy conversational environment in my day to day life) kill myself

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April 28, 2024 - An unintentionally funny video by a zionist propagandist shows off some good organisation and discipline at the UCLA encampment for Palestine.

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When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

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I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.

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LIVE (nothing wrong with me)

LAUGH (nothing wrong with me)

LOVE (nothing wrong with me)

[girlsnout]

I hear the words "bichon frise" and my brain spends an uncountably long moment frantically overturning every memory I have, desperately trying to remember what foreign luxury car brand I have to pretend to care about in order for this conversation to go favorably. After my every mote of knowledge about cars has been thoroughly ransacked and I am on the verge of failing this social interaction, a smudged sticky note flutters into view that simply says "small white dog."