girltomboy - Tumblr blog

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what life is truly about ^^

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Shalom Harlow photographed by Victor Alfaro, W Magazine, 1996.

[girltomboy]

The Torturous Tortured Poets Department - a 2/10 album

I finally listened to this slop knowing full well it would be beyond excruciating to try and sit through all the 31 "songs" on it, and all my expectations were confirmed. That lady can't do anything!

So I want to mention that only the first 10-ish songs are actually listenable, the rest of it is the same repetitive monotone slop that's ever present on her past ~4 releases (not including the re-recorded greedleases).

Fortnight (feat. Post Malone) - flat song, Post Malone fits well on it, but it doesn't have a peak, just goes straight into nowhere. I kind of forgot most of it because it feels like I've been trying to get through this tar pit of an album for a whole day. Forgettable is a good description for it.

The Tortured Poets Department - fake deep, heavily influenced by pretentious clichees, we can tell she had a fling with the racist from The 1975 because it made her even more annoying. Also forgettable.

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys - this one was better, has a bit of personality to it, some rhythm too, one of the only decent songs if you pay little attention to the lyrics.

Down Bad - the swearing makes it funny, lackluster production, quite flat, verbose & empty. I don't think she understands what "down bad" means.

So Long, London - the same as the previous one, empty production, verbose, flat singing, filler song.

But Daddy I Love Him - I feel compelled to point out she used a comma for the previous title, but not here. This one sounds a little bit like her older stuff, probably because of the lyrics. Still too wordy, and the production is too boring in contrast with her voice and the lyrics, a problem that's prevalent on most of her recent releases.

Fresh Out The Slammer - another song loaded with flat singing and lackluster production. A lot of these songs have long periods of silence, not drops or rests like in most other songs where it sounds nice, just straight up long silences.

Florida!!! (feat. Florence + The Machine) - stripped back production here and there very unnecessarily. Florence held back a lot, there's barely any singing, of course, to match her little song companion. It's barely a song, really, incohesive and peakless. The build-up, if you can call it that, is sudden and short and leads nowhere. Their voices also don't complement each other well at all.

Guilty as Sin? - this sounds a lot like many of her other songs with boring and empty productions. No peak or anything to make it stand out, just percussion and plain vocals with thesaurus lyrics.

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me - silence again; this one is at least richer in sounds. The lyrics are too edgy, reminiscent of Karma. There's a rhythm, but the random pauses kill all the momentum. Corny, high school lyrics.

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) - these long, cheesy titles are tiring me out. Production copied + pasted from the other songs. No peak, no singing, no music. It could have been an interlude with fewer words. Too many dog allegories for her boyfriends on this album.

loml - another empty ballad with many words and nothing said. Lullaby song, really boring, repetitive, bad lyrics.

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart - some build up only to sound like a monkey with cymbals song. Really corny lyrics and the same lackluster production.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - this is where the album, already pretty bad so far, takes a down turn and becomes the most unbearable collection of slop I've ever sat through since her Folklore/Evermore days. Those were peak unbearable, this was just disappointing and exhausting. One piano note for each syllable, bland production again, nothing song. Verbose and sleepy.

The Alchemy - I have already listened to this song 10 times on this album so far. It sounds like Halsey and would have probably been better with a trap instrumental rather than this silent 2014 nonsense.

Clara Bow - the same boring slop over and over. She's talking too much, not singing enough, and the elevator music just makes it exhausting. Nothing new, just recycled lyrics over the same bland production.

The Black Dog - here I was kinda starting to get pissed off. Not music. She really made the same song 20 times and said "yeah, it's an album. Release it." Wow my ears hurt.

imgonnagetyouback - Repetitive, heard it before, zero production. Some rhythm, but the backing vocals and empty melody kill it. Silence again.

The Albatross - a little more interesting, something to hear finally. But unfortunately it's just a mellow guitar song, so the novelty doesn't last long into it, since it's just as bland as her previous ones, it just puts you to sleep with different instruments.

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus - no intro whatsoever, just a plain piano like the practice of a beginner child, repetitive singing, lullaby song. Nothing distinctive, the same stripped back production, drags on forever.

How Did It End? - piano ballad, boring, sleepy, thesaurus lyrics, repetitive, and yet it's not the worst one so far. But we're probably past that point.

So High School - is that... an instrument? Oh, because she "feels high school" (we know, we've heard the lyrics) she made a pop rock sounding song. She barely sings on it, though, so all the momentum is once again suffocated. A breath of fresh air to hear something a little bit different from the dead slime I've been wading through, and this is hardly a compliment for this song. Also, she CANNOT sing.

I Hate It Here - slow guitar song again stuffed with repetitive verbosity to the point where you can't tell what's going on with the production. But it's okay, because nothing is ever going on. Skipped through 2/3 of it.

thanK you aIMee - boring, repetitive nothing. Barely any singing again, every song sounds like she wanted an excuse to speak into a microphone in a monotone semblance of a melody that goes nowhere.

I Look In People's Windows - a song filled with silence again, absolutely zero production, skipped over 2/3 again.

The Prophecy - nothing song, too much singing - sorry, monotone speaking. Zero melody, skipping through it I land on the same plain low note every time.

Cassandra - silence song again, nonexistent production, verbose, stands out with nothing.

Peter - another ballad I can't get through. At least this one has some structure, but again too much aimless verbosity. Skipped the last minute.

The Bolter - how is this not the same auditory sludge I've been listening to for the last 2 hours? Lazy guitars, and boring production. Bland melody, monotone singing.

Robin - sounds the same as 20 other songs, the slow singing makes it even more painful. This song has NOTHING to redeem it. There's silence again and extremely monotone melody with barely any singing. Should have been an interlude, skipped half of it.

The Manuscript - another nothing song, I actually couldn't sit through more than 10 seconds. The only redeeming quality of it is that there's no more songs coming after it.

Overall this album is incohesive, full of incoherent monotone yapping. Her vocals are atrocious, I don't even want to go into that, the excruciatingly boring production was bad enough on its own. Luckily she barely tried to sing at all, every song was almost the same recycled flat note over an aimless elevator melody. However, the best part of it is that it's finally over. Special thanks to the people who provided the piracy link and made this unnecessarily long post possible. 🙏 Without you the world would be nothing.

[girltomboy]

instagram.com/eda_birthing/

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John Collier (British,1850-1934)

Circe, 1885

Oil on canvas

[girltomboy]

the devil’s whispers:

you can do it tomorrow (if you don’t do it now you’ll never do it ever)

you have a lot of time left (life is actually pretty short and we don’t have that much time)

you can skip this one little thing today (you are functioning solely due to the fact that you have a routine)

i must respond to this one thing that is bothering me immediately (you don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head)

I must check my phone (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head)

panicking is productive (panicking never makes a situation better, but in fact exacerbates it)

I must listen to music while doing the most minute task (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head. and I like music as much as the next person but moments of sheer silence are crucial)

I must befriend everyone (some people just don’t mesh together and that is ok)

I can skip working out for the day (working out does so much for ur physical AND mental health)

If misfortune happens to me it’s because I am uniquely unlucky (misfortune has nothing to do with preordained circumstances and everything to do with random odds)

If I am mistreated it’s because I am a horrible person and I deserve it (most times people are projecting their issues onto u and it has nothing to do with u)

if I make a mistake I am uniquely horrible (we are all human and we all make mistakes. the important thing is to hold ourselves accountable and learn from them)

I must have this one thing I really want now (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head. also whatever u want will still be here tomorrow so this sense of urgency is false)

I am uniquely hated/disliked/ostracized (most people are busy w their own lives and don’t have the time to be hating on u. and if they really are then their life is pretty empty and their opinion should not be held in high regard to begin with)

[girltomboy]

Victoria Cassinova (American, b. 1993)

Untitled (After Nude Reclining), 2021

Graphite and charoal on paper

[girltomboy]

My errand day with my coworker was such a success even though (as expected) we didn't do what we said we would. We picked up our diplomas, walked a lot around the city, had breakfast in the city center and then went to a supermarket to buy some drinks and snacks. We got asked for ID? And it was a bit confusing because we had separate items on the belt, but the lady laughed and said "you're already young but I made you younger". Then we went to say hello to my coworker's flatmate at her pet shop job and went to watch random horror movies at her apartment. We got day drunk and ordered pizza and I was fully dizzy by the time I left around 7pm but it was so nice to start my day early and spend it all with her!!!

Today I went out and bought a magazine like I've been wanting to for ages now. It was fucking expensive, like 5 euros?? But I got a free lipstick and an extra magazine with it so I'm not gonna complain at all. I'm making rice with chicken wings and I got my favorite garlic snacks!

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Weeping Angel

— by majara__

[girltomboy]

Sober days

I've been sober for a little less than 2 weeks now, and I mean sober from everything except for caffeine. No smoking, drinking, or getting stoned. I don't feel much of a difference to be honest, maybe I don't get out of breath as much while walking uphill to my apartment? Lol but I wasn't smoking that much to begin with anyway. I mean I've never been a regular smoker or drinker. I don't miss getting high, because lately to be honest it wasn't doing it for me, it had just become a weekend habit. As for drinking and smoking cigarettes, those were social activities for me, I never drank or smoked by myself. Well this indefinite break is most welcome now. I don't consider myself addicted to anything, which is why sobriety is not something I want to be strict about. I'm also prone to obsessing over my habits and this feels like the perfect fuel for that danger. Unfortunately I've been really lazy about working out, and that includes yoga as well. I keep saying I'll do it tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow, but when tomorrow comes I feel way too depleted of energy to actually stick to my word and be active. However, I've been walking a decent amount lately, I feel like that counts for something. My Health app informs me that I'm walking way less than I was last year this time, which makes sense because my bf used to live in this city back then, and we'd go out almost every day, and visited our friends almost every weekend. I miss when he was here.

This Friday my work friend and I have taken the day off and scheduled appointments to pick up our university diplomas early in the morning. Afterwards we might go get breakfast, go day drinking, and maybe go to a sex shop lmao. These are just some plans we randomly cooked up, but knowing us we might not stick to the script. I kind of want to buy a magazine, but I don't know which magazines still exist. We might go to the park, or the botanical garden, or hang out on campus at her university. Towards the evening, I might drop by my own university to leave some books there, and maybe check out the free books shelf to see if there's anything worth taking home.

I finished the third season of Six Feet Under and I just knew something weird and devastating was cooking when I saw how the season began, just like that. And I was right, but it's incredible how even at its most depressing this show manages to feel oddly hopeful. It's truly a masterpiece and I'm dreading reaching the end of it.

Yesterday I watched Immaculate with my work friend. Mostly she was just horny for Sydney Sweeney, but the movie was unexpectedly good. I mean she's a great actress, but we were mostly expecting some low quality The Nun ripoff (not that The Nun is high quality to begin with). My friend thought it was gonna be a ghost/demon/possession/supernatural kind of horror, but it was actually an insane people kind (the scariest ones imo, because. Well. Evil people are realer than ghosts). I specifically loved the soundtrack, it's one of those rare OSTs that you look up after the movie is over. I also super enjoyed the ENDING where she smashes that thing.

[girltomboy]

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