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[giselle-clarke]

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[giselle-clarke]

Giselle wasn’t in a position to deny anything with how weak she was, not that she even wanted to right now. Being sexually frustrated had been pure hell, especially this week when she’d been forced to at least see the Latina every single day, and gawking at her while she was in bikinis had made matters worse. She’d held on for as long as she possibly could, and their first time in three years should not have been in the bathroom of a vessel, but they were obviously both impatient at this point. They needed this, judging by the way they were all over one another now. She knew that Santana’s hesitation had been the prying eyes before, so now that they were alone, things had changed significantly and she wasn’t mad about it. “I miss hearing you moan in general, but yeah, that too.” She nodded, and there wasn’t a chance in hell that she would be walking out of this bathroom before she made her girlfriend moan a handful of things. Santana’s previous comment about not needing the dress off seemed futile as a strap fell, and she was so engulfed in everything about the Latina that she would’ve stripped right out of it if Santana wanted her to. The tone of the other woman’s words left her nodding obediently. “Whatever you want, baby.” She agreed almost too swiftly. She didn’t know how they’d work around the fact that they were sharing that small ass hut with two other women, but Giselle was prepared to let her girlfriend handle that, as usual. She could scare them out of the bed at least, and that was good enough for her. Again, consummating their reunion under these circumstances wasn’t ideal, but they had to make the best of it until they got back to Lima. Considering that Santana was agreeing to let her have her way with her until she stopped herself, Giselle was far too gone now to worry about anything else. 

She hadn’t expected any less when Santana was already groaning out the second her tongue had made contact with where she’d desired it most, but she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t absolutely loved hearing it. Santana’s reaction to being touched had never sounded sexier, and as if Giselle needed any more motivation to keep her girlfriend moaning, that was it. The praise made her emit a moan of her own as she kept curling her tongue inside of the woman, dragging her tongue every which way through the sea of wetness, keeping her pace the same since as she pushed the Latina towards a release she knew she needed. She was in no rush for this to be over any time soon, and she could care less about anyone else wanting to get into the private bathroom. There was a shared one for a reason so they could all use that one. Her movements didn’t falter once as a hand crept into her brunette locks, or even as Santana started to grinding against her face, and her own moans started filling the space of the small bathroom right along with Santana’s as soon as her mouth was being drenched in the Latina’s juices. She swallowed them down as she continued pushing her tongue in deeper, letting the tip repeatedly stroke Santana’s sweet spot now that she had her right where she wanted her. She hadn’t planned on stopping anyways, but for all the torturing she’d endured leading up to this, Giselle was in the perfect position to get some payback. Retracting her tongue, she slipped two fingers inside of the other woman instead, pumping them inside of Santana’s pussy and inching them in further with each new thrust. “You look adorable all flustered like this, baby.” She teased as she peppered kisses along the other woman’s inner thighs, tempted to leave a few marks where no one else would see them, but where was the fun in that? She wanted people to see them, to have it known that they were back together again and Santana was off limits, but she’d get there once they got back, she decided. “This entire boat should know my name by now, so thank you for that.” Giselle hummed, clearly enjoying the ego stroke. But they couldn’t stay in here forever, so she added in a third finger, increasing the pace of all three as she latched onto Santana’s clit and sucked it feverishly. 

"I'm not concerned with anyone else right now. You're all that matters to me, baby," she responded softly, once their bodies were close enough to press her lips to the crook of Giselle's neck. She reveled in the warmth of her skin before nuzzling in deeper, intoxicated by the delicious scent as she trailed kisses down to her collarbone. "And I bet you miss hearing me moan your name," the Latina murmured, nipping at the soft flesh there. With her panties off, she could sense the slick heat in her core, begging to be lapped up. Santana had never been so desperate for relief in her entire life. She knew her eagerness had everything to do with the gorgeous woman in front of her, reminding her of what it felt like to want someone unabashedly. Already overwhelmed with passion, she groaned when her tongue was enveloped, her hips bucking forward as the ache between her thighs became unbearable. Santana allowed her hands to roam free as her tongue darted in and out of Giselle's mouth, pawing at the delicate fabric of her dress. A moment later, she curled her finger around one of the straps to slide it off gently, her lips not far behind as she ravished the bare skin below her shoulder blade. "The second we get back, this dress is coming off," she warned, her voice husky. The savory taste of her skin sent Santana reeling and it took every restraint she had not to dip her head lower. Eventually, she managed to pull away, disoriented and breathing heavily. A nervous laugh escaped past her lips at the mention of being impatient, and she looked on with bated breath as Giselle made herself comfortable between her legs. The tug forward elicited a sharp gasp and sent a shiver up the Latina's spine. She smiled about it anyway, despite her shock, then lifted the hem of her dress so it rested at the base of her abdomen. "We both know what you can do with that tongue of yours, so I'm not making any promises, but I'm yours for as long as you want me," Santana assured her, cheeks flushed and rosy. They could bust the damn door down and she wouldn't move from this spot for anything.

After weeks and months of being sexually frustrated, the moment her girlfriend touched her, Santana's body tensed and she let out a whimper. "Holy fuck," she groaned, the words torn from her throat. She knew she wouldn't last long as the other woman swirled her tongue around, making her toes curl and driving her further to the edge. It felt so good, like nothing the Latina could describe, and she allowed her head to fall back to the wall as she watched on in awe. "Mmm, that's it, baby," she praised, sucking in her bottom lip. She tried her best to stifle the noise coming from her mouth, but each wave of pleasure that rippled through her had Santana moaning louder. As her legs started to tremble and she coiled tighter against the flat of Giselle's tongue, her hands moved to grip the back of her head. Santana rocked her hips in a steady rhythm as she neared her climax, weaving her fingers through her girlfriend's hair while she plunged her tongue deeper into her pussy. "Fuck," she groaned again, this time more strained as she let out a heavy moan. Santana's entire body shuddered and she arched off the counter, a look of ecstasy etched on her face as she broke wide open. As predicted, the other woman's name tumbled from her lips like a mantra, and she knew that she wanted more. "Don't stop, okay?" She pleaded, her voice ragged as her body continued to spasm. Every thrust curbed her desire, but the Latina wouldn't be satisfied until Giselle had fucked her so thoroughly that her limbs went slack and she was seeing stars.

[giselle-clarke]

While Giselle was aware that their troubles were far from over, in the long run anyways, she was grateful that they were at least ending this week from hell on a good note. Santana being emotionally drained was evident, but she was hoping to not make it any worse from here on out — or for as long as she could before the usual problems arose. For now though, giving in to whatever her girlfriend wanted was quite the start. Being alone helped too, since for the first time all night, she knew the Latina could finally unclench and allow herself to be who she was, which was exactly what Giselle needed right now. They'd both been yearning to be touched for God knows how long, and they'd spent the entire first half of this cruise practically dangling themselves out to the other, so naturally, she was drooling and in need of some sort of release. And then leave it to Santana to start saying shit she'd only dreamed of hearing, and now even her heart was on fire. "Thank you for that." She stated and smiled, already making a mental note for them to discuss what Giselle wanted this time around later. Sure, Santana knew the one thing she'd wanted the most, but she had to at least consider her own feelings this time around and not only put Santana's feelings first. She'd deal with it after tonight though.

"You're not worried about someone hearing you moan my name?" Giselle quizzed, though she didn't give a damn about it now because she was laser-focused on what she wanted, and it was far too late to turn back now. She hadn't even needed an explanation for what she was about to do to distract her, since it was obvious what she was about to do to her girlfriend, and the Latina confirming that she wanted it too practically opened the floodgates — literally and figuratively. Santana kissing her back ignited a whole new fire inside of her, and it erupted even more once her tongue was being shoved into Giselle's mouth. Her head was practically spinning now as she sucked on said tongue, and it didn't take much before she could feel the heat, and the dampness, between her girlfriend's legs. Not that it mattered for long because before she knew it, Santana pulled back and was attempting to force her down where she clearly needed her most, and Giselle giggled as she lowered herself down. "I missed you being this impatient, baby." She teased, firmly hooking her arms underneath perfectly tanned thighs and yanking Santana closer to her mouth. "Try not to be too loud. I don't need anyone interrupting this, and you're not going anywhere even if they start banging on the door." She insisted, and she wholeheartedly meant it so all chances of turning back were long gone at this point. Licking her lips now that she had full access to what she'd needed most, she was beyond done with talking. "Brace yourself." She warned before she dove right in, sliding her tongue past soaked folds and into her girlfriend's pussy, and she moaned at the familiar taste she'd only spent years dreaming of. "Fuck." She groaned as she slowly swirled her tongue around the pool of wetness, lapping at every inch of Santana's walls. Giselle may have been an expert at pleasuring a woman, but nothing could have prepared her for being back inside of Santana after three years. Gripping her thighs tighter to hold her in place, she wasted no more time and started thrusting her tongue in at a steady pace, curling it in deeper with every thrust as she chased that desired sweet spot she'd abandoned for far too long.

Santana had to admit she found it sweet that her girlfriend cared enough to come check on her, even if she’d gotten better at handling her emotions over the years. This vacation hadn't gone at all how she'd hoped it would, but at least it didn't have to end on a sour note. "Actually, I think I'm all cried out," she sighed, clearly emotionally spent. Her makeup was still intact though, so at least she'd dodged a bullet there. When Giselle immediately agreed to keep her dress on, the Latina failed to suppress a smirk. She found her girlfriend's eagerness to please her more attractive than she should have, given how turned on she already was. They were also away from prying eyes for the first time all night, which filled her mind with all kinds of bad ideas. Santana couldn’t help how her body gravitated towards the other woman the moment they were alone. Months of being touch-starved had left her a heaping mess, and with every second that passed, it became harder and harder to control herself. Giselle’s acceptance of her hesitancy to come out helped put her mind at ease, but it did nothing to stop the beating in her chest or the pool forming between her legs. "I didn’t leave you much of a choice the last time, but I’ll be more open from now on so you don’t feel like I’m dismissing everything you say. What you want has always been important to me." She’d sometimes been too scared or selfish in the past to put anyone’s needs above her own, but treating people that way only drove them away. Santana knew if she wanted to change, she had to put in the work. Their time apart had been hard on both of them, and the thought of having to go through that again scared her. There was no denying that the love was real though, as Giselle’s reaffirming words once again made her heart melt. The "I love you" still felt somewhat bittersweet considering all that she was feeling in the moment, but most of those emotions were put on the back burner the minute they were interrupted.

The Latina noticed the glare her girlfriend threw her as she backed away, and while she normally would’ve been worried, she had an idea of how to make it up to her. "Something tells me I won’t be shutting up any time soon," she replied once the other woman stepped toward her. Then her legs were being spread apart and Santana swore she forgot how to breathe for a second. She lifted slightly off the counter so her panties would slide off with ease, then wrapped her arms around Giselle’s neck to bring her closer. At her question, she furrowed her brows. "That depends. Do you have a plan in mind to distract me?" She asked, feeling the heat between her thighs growing. They’d hooked up plenty of times in public places when no one else was around, so the Latina had no qualms about having sex right here in the bathroom. Not that she could refuse even if she wanted to. "I’m well aware of how much you love fucking me senseless, but if I wanted to stop you, I would’ve worn a different dress," she teased, looking at Giselle's lips hungrily before capturing them in a heated kiss. She didn’t hesitate to slip her tongue into her mouth while she rocked her hips forward, all in an effort to seek out more contact. Santana wanted nothing more than to rip her out of that dress and kiss every inch of her, but she couldn’t ignore how much her body yearned for relief instead. "I need you, baby," the Latina whispered softly between kisses, the anguish evident in her voice. After a moment, she broke away to catch her breath and scooted back on the counter, spreading her legs wider to allow her girlfriend better access. She then slid her hands from the nape of Giselle's neck to her shoulders and pushed down, unable to wait any longer.

[giselle-clarke]

Once again, Santana’s body language told Giselle everything that she needed to know about this teasing, and of course her girlfriend hadn’t quite thought it all through. They were both aiming to leave the other dripping and practically a quivering mess from just their words alone first, but this game had consequences too, ones she herself would gladly accept right out in the open. The same couldn’t be said for the Latina though, and that was the only reason why she hadn’t already pounced on Santana yet. Her eyes widened as Santana finally started speaking, and given their history, she hadn’t expected the other woman to be ready to even attempt to show any sort of affection in person any time soon — or not before she came out, anyways. She smiled at the thought of her girlfriend taking the initiative to even want to take that next step with her. “We can start with something simple, like holding hands in public. And we don’t have to start as soon as we get back to Lima. I’m not rushing you into anything, San. Besides, things are slightly different this time around, since you are at least out on campus, and you’ve made it clear that you want me at your apartment majority of the time, so it’s not as secretive anymore. Baby steps.” While she did appreciate Santana’s efforts, she wasn’t going to rush any of it once they made it back to Lima. They did just get back together after all, so she was content with them taking that part of their relationship a little slower. Or at least she was when Santana wasn’t trying to fucking overstimulate her in the middle of the ocean. The repeated admission about her panties was only making Giselle’s own underwear equally saturated, and leaving her ten times more tempted to make a move here. “Just for that, you’re not making it back to that stupid hut with those panties on.” She huffed. Why her girlfriend was so set on pushing her to her limits tonight, she didn’t know, but she could only be tormented for so long. The mention of that cheer uniform, however, definitely sent her mind spiraling. “The second we make it back to  your apartment, that uniform is going on. No questions asked, and no turning it down.” Giselle decided, and now, for the first time all week, she was anticipating getting back to shitty little Lima. 

After years of being with Santana, her horrible way of handling her insecurities was easier to handle these days. She didn’t necessarily like that those insecurities were usually taken out on her, yet she knew her girlfriend didn’t do it intentionally. That was why she’d dealt with it for this long, and even agreed to try and help her work through it all as best as she could. Maybe it wouldn’t work out well, not unless Santana did it on her own, but Giselle was willing to try anyway. Letting her girlfriend get the apology off her chest, she nodded along, clearly unfazed by it. Would it always be like this? Of course not. But at this point in time, she was handling it better than most people in her shoes would. “You do not owe me an apology for what you said the other night..” She muttered, and she could accept that she had sort of needed to hear it, to an extent. And as usual, she wasn’t one to let her girlfriend take all of the heat for how things had been going for them prior to this booze cruise. “Thank you for that, baby. I know your insecurities aren’t on me, but some of this is my fault too. Whatever happened while we were apart is irrelevant now. Well, the stuff involving other people. I know you went through a lot with your therapy, and I want to support you however I can, but you were right the other day. We’re different people now and we have to adjust to how the other has changed, or even not changed, if we want this to work. I’m willing to be patient, but I think letting go of whatever we did before will help.” She agreed, and Giselle was already forgetting about whatever relationship Santana had while she’d been away in Houston. “Just remember that I’m here to help you work through any of it.” She promised. The heavy conversations would never be enough to throw off her mind once it was set on something, like them having sex later. She giggled over at her girlfriend when she motioned between them at her statement. “It’s 50/50, let’s be real.” She smirked. “I don’t think that I’ve gotten into the 50 Shades of Grey territory just yet, but we’ll see who’s wrong later.” Both of their staminas were rather high, but she was prepared to spend as long as it took to get her girlfriend right where she wanted her. The smirk on her lips grew when the Latina spoke up again, and she quickly nodded in agreement. “I know we’ve been apart for far too long, but that is my favorite place, San. Always has been.” She confirmed with a wink. “You’re lucky I’m behaving and haven’t already forced my way between them.” It wasn’t luck, it was more like her will to respect Santana’s boundaries, but even she could only hold herself back for so long.

Giselle may have wanted to react to some things with the haste that Santana had, yet one of them had to be more level headed if they were going to make this work. Even if she did want to spend as much time as possible in her girlfriend’s bed again, she wanted them to ease into that after they got home and made sure they were 100% committed to making this work, no matter what it took. Morning orgasms sure were tempting though. “I’ve got you, baby. Don’t worry.” She agreed, and the wake up call would benefit them both in the mornings, so she couldn’t deny that she was looking forward to it, at least. She shrugged when the Latina insisted that she didn’t have to claim her again. “Oh, I think it’s pretty obvious that you’ve always been mine, but that’s not gonna stop me from still making sure everyone within a three mile radius knows it too.” Maybe that was Giselle stroking her own ego, but now her mind was set on making it happen so there was no going back. Not that she even wanted to now. Santana not wanting anyone else’s eyes to see her body in its naked glory made her smile. She wouldn’t have expected any less from her, so she would keep her dress on…for now. “See, you being this possessive of me is actually very sexy.” Giselle joked, though she was only getting even more turned on now. Watching Santana’s eyes drifting to her body only caused her cheeks to turn into a darker shade of pink, or maybe even red, and she giggled as she returned the squeeze to her hand. How either of them were keeping things PG at this moment, she couldn’t understand, and it made it  hard for her to focus as the other woman tried to reassure her that she believed her previous statements. “I hear you, but I’ve also taken into account everything you’ve said before about me flirting back or allowing them to flirt in the first place. Even if it doesn’t mean shit to me, I know it makes you spiral more, so I’d rather we eliminate that altogether.” Giselle shrugged. It was one of the easiest solutions to try helping Santana feel more secure in this, and she would do anything to make her girlfriend happy. They needed all the help they could get when it came to getting over the hurdles ahead of them, so no effort was too small. She rolled her eyes at the assumption that she wasn’t into the whole hard to get scheme. “I do still enjoy you playing hard to get sometimes, but I’m horny and I miss you, so I would have been fine diving right between your legs the second we got on this boat.” She teased, though she truly was holding back a hell of a lot right now. “I can’t promise you that the night will end with me on my knees, but my tongue or my fingers will be inside of you either way.” Giselle pledged.

Fully expecting Santana to at least be in tears, she furrowed her brows as the door swung open and she was yanked inside. “Hey, you could’ve been crying.” She whined, and all things considered, the Latina typically used to break down whenever the coming out thing was mentioned, so it wasn’t a stretch for her to have assumed as much. Though, she was glad that she wasn’t in here sobbing. “Got it, the dress stays on, as you wish.” She grinned. Santana being bossy would never fail to turn her into a simp, but at least for now, she wasn’t completely drooling. Talking about Santana being in the closet typically reeled everything else, so accepting the semi-apology, she nodded. Talking about it later, when they were back at home, was probably the better environment to take a deep dive into all of that, so she wasn’t opposed to that idea now. “I’ll hold you to that.” Giselle agreed as she let her girlfriend take her hands into her own. Unlike the Latina, she was barely keeping it together as she closed what little space was left between them, ignoring the way her heart skipped a beat at being this close to Santana again. Every inch of her should have been used to being around the other woman after all this time, but maybe she just needed to get used to it again. She sighed as she listened to her girlfriend, and although she wanted to agree to not sacrificing her own happiness for Santana’s, Giselle was sure that she’d probably have to in some capacity until she was ready to come out. “I will be as patient as I can be. Judging by how long it took before I finally broke the first time around, I think we’re good.” She reassured her, and it had taken her four years before she’d cracked before, so at least that should have taken some of the pressure off. Leaning into the hand on her cheek, Santana’s next statement made her blush yet again. “I love you.” Her voice was softer this time around, probably because she was on a cloud now, and she didn’t miss the way eyes fell to her lips. The anticipation of Santana doing what they obviously both wanted was killing her, and then some idiot interrupted them and she was livid now as she watched Santana pull back. “Seriously?” She huffed under her breath before she glared over at her girlfriend. That knock didn’t scare her, that much she knew, but she let it go once she watched her hop up on the sink counter and pretend like there were a ton of options for what they could do in a bathroom. “I came all this way to make sure you were okay. Shut up.” Giselle whined before she spread Santana’s legs apart and pushed her dress up enough for her to hook her index fingers under the hem of the Latina’s panties. “If someone else knocks on the door, are you gonna get 'scared' again?” She asked as she started to slowly peel the soaked garment off of those perfect legs she loved so much. They really were pointless now anyways, so why bother? Tossing them aside, Giselle shrugged. “If you’re gonna stop me, you better do it now because the second my head is between your legs, I’m not stopping until I want to.” She warned before she leaned in and finally kissed her girlfriend softly, figuring that might help Santana make a decision.

Her smile faded the more she listened to Giselle, realizing by her girlfriend's reaction that she may have gone a bit overboard with the teasing. At the mention of PDA, Santana's back stiffened and she shifted uncomfortably in her chair. The last thing the Latina wanted to do was set an unrealistic precedent for the future. After all, they'd be back in Ohio and around friends and family again soon enough, so as much as she wanted to keep their conversation lighthearted, transparency now would serve them better in the long run. "If I'm being honest, three years without you has put a lot of things into perspective," she admitted. "I may not be ready to throw all caution to the wind, but I'm done pretending that I don't have feelings for you just because we're in a room full of people. You deserve more than that, you always have." She knew how much the secrecy had hurt them both in the past and she was trying not to repeat the same mistakes this time around. It would take a lot of effort on her part not to shy away from PDA, but if they were serious about having a future together, she couldn't continue hiding their relationship. The Latina eyed her girlfriend as she drowned her sexual frustration in more champagne, chuckling softly at the fact that she'd barely touched her glass for most of the evening. She'd been too busy eye fucking Giselle to give a second thought to the alcohol on the table. When she teased her back about the panties, Santana failed to suppress her smirk. "I shouldn't have bothered, given how amazing you look in that dress, but at least now you have an excuse to take them off," she replied, debating whether or not to end her torment for one day. She could tell by her girlfriend's body language that she hadn't lost her knack for leaving the other woman speechless (and thirsty, apparently). "I'll make a note not to wear them the next time we go out so you can admire the view. Come to think of it, I still have my old cheer uniform in the closet if you really wanted to reminisce once we get back," she teased, practically offering herself up as tribute at this point. In regards to intimacy and flirting, the Latina always knew exactly which buttons to push. Discussing her vulnerabilities proved to be a lot trickier, and more often than not, she made the situation worse by putting her foot in her mouth.

If she were more mature, Santana would've focused on their current relationship and let the comment about her dating life slide, but like always, she allowed her insecurities and misplaced anger to cloud her judgment. Despite how she felt, everything Giselle said was true. That wasn't the first time she'd lashed out or made her feel guilty about something she did, even if her reasons were justified. Most of their fights in high school started when she acted rashly toward a situation instead of putting her ego aside and talking their issues out. Santana knew she had to begin taking ownership of her mistakes if they had any hope of coming to an understanding. "You're right, I have been unfair to you. Not just about you leaving but about a lot of things. Even that shit I said the other day.." her voice trailed off as she fiddled with her champagne glass. As much as she'd rather not acknowledge it, everything she expressed then also played a factor in how she behaved. "I don't want to be that person who makes excuses for all of their problems anymore. There's clearly stuff from the past I haven't gotten over, but me constantly bringing it up isn't helping either of us move on. You've always gone out of your way to reassure me and I still find reasons to doubt myself, so I'm sorry for not being more receptive. My insecurities go well beyond you and they certainly aren't your fault," she huffed. So much of her jealously stemmed from internalized feelings of self-worth and had nothing to do with Giselle, so while she needed the constant affirmation, it didn't tackle the root of the issue. Santana probably would've continued to word vomit if she hadn't been distracted by their plans to have sex later. As she took in her girlfriend's words, she admired her confidence, even if she wasn't sold on the outcome. "Remind me, which one of us has the bigger ego again?" She mused, gesturing between the two of them. "After three years of pining over you, I'm somewhat offended that you think I would give up that easily, but you're entitled to your wrong opinion. If memory serves, I'm pretty sure I can handle whatever 50 Shades of Grey shit you throw at me." Her stamina had never been called into question before, and she highly doubted it would be now. Besides, she'd waited too long for this moment to let it pass her by. "And trust me when I tell you babe, between my legs is about to be your new favorite place," the Latina boasted. If that was Giselle's idea of tormenting her, she was going to have to try harder than that.

While Santana wasn't thrilled about the idea of sleeping alone, she couldn't argue that her girlfriend had a point. She often acted on impulse while Giselle was more grounded and tried her best not to enable her. It didn't always work out, but she appreciated having someone in her life who would reel her in if she started to spiral. "That was hardly a threat, but whatever you say. Just don't stop until I'm moaning your name and we'll both start off the morning in a good mood." She resisted the urge to roll her eyes this time, despite her emotions being written all over her face. The last part of the sentence surprised her, but Santana didn't miss a beat. "You don't have to claim me, though. I've always been yours," she stated softly, then smiled. Even after they broke up and Giselle moved away to Houston, her feelings never changed. She was positive they never would, regardless of how their relationship turned out. Give her enough time to work through her issues and someday there would be a diamond ring at the bottom of that champagne glass. Just the way the other woman's cheeks turned red at a compliment still gave her butterflies. "As tempting as that offer is, I'd rather have you all to myself," she teased, and while she'd meant it as a joke, there was no way her jealousy could handle anyone else seeing what belonged to her eyes only. Brown eyes that were now drifting to her girlfriend's best assets, and ones she'd avoided looking at for most of the evening in fear of losing her train of thought. Her hand squeezed Giselle's as she felt her heart rate increase, tearing her eyes away momentarily to give her an all too familiar look. The Latina's hand would've been halfway up her dress by now if not for the sea of bystanders. Especially if she kept telling Santana how much she wanted to be with her and no one else. "I know you don't want anyone else, and I'm not saying you have to do anything about it, but other women taking an interest in you will always bother me. And before you ask why, it has a lot more to do with me than it does with you, so don’t feel like you need to act differently to accommodate me," she reassured her. Santana didn’t know how else to explain away the years of shame and neglect that had caused her to feel this inadequate, so she settled with placing the blame on herself as she usually did. She was lucky to be with someone who loved her enough to accept her flaws and wanted to tackle her insecurities together, even if at times she didn’t think she deserved it. At least she could still deflect from her problems with humor, though. "Having sex five minutes into dinner sort of defeats the purpose of playing hard to get, don’t you think? Unless you’re not into that anymore," she remarked. While she believed her girlfriend missed her being impatient, neither could argue that the chase was just as entertaining, and usually concluded with them ripping each other’s clothes off. "As long as the night ends with you on your knees and me begging for it, I’ll be as impatient as you want."

Santana knew she’d probably overreacted by getting upset and leaving the table, but in terms of meltdowns she’d had around coming out, this one was rather tame. Giselle had bore witness to much worse in their years of dating, so she felt confident her girlfriend would be fine. She could say the same for herself soon enough, once she freshened up in the bathroom and took a few minutes to calm down. The Latina hadn’t expected the knock on the door, or that Giselle would be the one apologizing. She waited until the other woman finished talking before opening the door, and then tugged her inside in a hurry. "I’m not crying," she said with a hint of annoyance, releasing her girlfriend’s arm. "Not to mention, I don’t need you to be naked to have sex with you, so the dress stays on." They both appeared to enjoy it when the other one bossed them around, even when it conflicted with their own desires, so her tone seemed fitting. With that conversation out of the way, Santana thought it best to address the other comments that were made. "I’ll admit, you bringing that up again caught me a little off guard, but I could’ve reacted better. We can talk about it more when we get home if you want to, I promise." She stepped closer, reaching out to take both of Giselle’s hands in hers. The Latina knew by doing so, she risked drowning in those beautiful brown eyes, but she managed to steady herself and her voice softened as she spoke. "I know me being in the closet affects you too, so I’m not trying to put you in a position where you have to sacrifice what you want just to be with me. I’ve been there, and compromising your happiness for other people never ends well. All I’m asking is that you give me some time to figure out how to tell them without blowing my life up in the process." It was a harsh reality to live in, but essentially by coming out to her parents, she was risking losing them for a potential future with Giselle. It felt strange to make that sort of decision without knowing if their relationship would last, even if she cared about the other woman more than anything. Santana’s hand came up to caress her cheek and she smiled, looking at her with all the love in the world. "If it comes down to it and I have to choose between my family and you, I’ll choose you," she promised, and as soon as she said it, her eyes fell right to her girlfriend’s lips. Every cell in her body felt like it was on fire, but she couldn't wait any longer. Before she could lean in, there was a knock on the door and Santana immediately pulled away out of reflex. Even with a wall of separation between them, memories of having to sneak around reared its ugly head as her heart thumped louder. She tried to play off her anxiety as best she could, hoping Giselle would turn a blind eye to it. "¡Vete, por favor," she blurted out, sternly enough that whoever was on the other side of the door would get the memo. "About scared the shit out of me," she mumbled. Still reeling from the interruption, she spun around on her heels and boosted herself onto the bathroom sink, like the true gymnast she was. Her fingers gripped the edge of the countertop as she kicked off her shoes, before crossing one foot over the other. "Well? That was eventful. What should we do now?" Santana raised a brow as the words left her lips, the expression on her face one her girlfriend knew all too well. "You didn’t come all this way for a heart to heart, did you?"

[giselle-clarke]

it's so attractive when someone is all about you and isn't afraid to show it

[giselle-clarke]

Giselle immediately furrowed her brows at the way Santana was provoking her now. They both knew how she felt about PDA so why was she pushing this so hard, especially when she knew her girlfriend would do it. Even the way the Latina bit her lip felt like mockery now, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to hold back for much longer now. “Just so we’re on the same page, did I miss a memo about you suddenly being okay with PDA? Because last I checked, I can barely even hold your hand in public without you having a panic attack.” Sure, she could take charge every now and then, but she’d also known better than to put pressure on her. She was normally much better at having self-restraint in public, but Santana was always the exception, and she was making this unusually difficult this time around. Biting her lip as she tried to focus on anything other than how badly she wanted her girlfriend, that went right out the window as Santana opened that perfect mouth of hers and pushed her yet again. “I hate you so much right now.” Giselle whined dramatically before she was chugging down more champagne. There was no way in hell that she wouldn’t be drunk before this food came out at this rate. And when Santana mentioned her panties being soaked, she finished off the bottle while clenching her own thighs together even tighter. “I don’t know why you were wearing panties anyways.” She teased nervously, her heart rate increasing as her palms started sweating. She had never been this flustered around Santana before, or at least not where other prying eyes could see what she’d end up doing to her girlfriend. But luckily, she didn’t have any sort of shame about having sex in public, so Giselle was only concerned about how her girl truly felt about it before she made any moves. While she hadn’t been entirely serious when she’d referenced the relationship Santana had been in before they’d rekindled things, the reaction it garnered was predictable. “I’m not giving you shit or even judging you, but you always seem to take jabs at me for what I did in Houston. And I know why it bothers you so much, but can we just let it go and move on? We both had..situations with other people during our three years apart, but none of them matter anymore, San.” She stated, and then shrugged. “But for the record, none of them could compare to you. And they weren’t you, so it wasn’t like I gave a shit about them anyways.” Giselle pointed out, which was actually true and not just her trying to get her girlfriend to let that jealousy shit go. Not that it would happen overnight or any time soon, but she was trying to help Santana get over that hurdle one way or another. Taking in yet another challenge, she rolled her eyes playfully. “As sexy as you are when you’re pissed off, you have an even bigger problem you need to be worried about. Once I get between your legs, you’re gonna have to pry me off of you once you’re ready to tap out — and trust me, you’ll be tapping out.” She promised. “But deal. I’d rather take a win-win arrangement over you being mad at me about Spanish lessons.” 

Giselle knew Santana well enough to sense the disappointment in her not wanting to move in right away, but she was compromising at least, and that had to be enough for now. She was already expecting her parents to give her a mouthful about diving head first back into this, but at least she was wanting to be sure that they could keep up this momentum once they were back on campus before she packed her bags and moved in. “You can stop with the threats. You’ll have more than just my fingers inside of you every single morning, I swear. And the neighbors will hear it regardless. How else am I supposed to claim you again if there’s no witnesses?” If nothing else, being back in Lima had pushed her to live with being sexually frustrated, so while she was having to sit still and squeeze her thighs shut, she wasn’t about to let Santana be the only one leaving the other a squirming mess. She smiled as she noticed Santana staring at her the way that she often did. Giselle had missed that, how for some reason the Latina seemed to always look at her in that way that made her feel like she was the most important, and only, woman in the world. She raised a brow as she watched Santana lean in, and then she was reduced to a blushing mess at her words. “I can be naked right here in seconds.” She offered, licking her lips as a hand grazed her arm, and she could have probably melted right on the spot as she watched her girlfriend. They hadn’t even been back together for a solid hour and she was already more in love with the other woman than she’d ever been. “That’s fair.” Given recent events, it was evident that Santana had blinders on when it came to other women, and she couldn’t see it when they looked at her the way she was currently looking at Giselle. So maybe her new rule only applied to herself, seeing as how she chose to let women flirt with her even if she had no intentions of giving them anything, and it had almost led to one of her friends catching feelings. At the mention of her girlfriend being possessive over her, she sighed. “You being possessive isn’t always that bad, baby, but it is ridiculous. I don’t want any other woman but you. I might not show it the way that you do, but I don’t actually care about anyone else. It’s always been you, San.” Maybe it wasn’t in her nature to scare off other women for hitting on Santana or even vying for her attention, but she’d never had to since she always knew exactly where her girlfriend stood. Glancing down at her dress, and then back up at the other woman, Giselle nodded. “You talk a lot of shit for someone who rejected my initial offer to have sex right on the table. But I liked it better when you didn’t hide how impatient you were, so I’ll be correcting that in due time.”

It wasn’t as if Giselle didn’t know that Santana was struggling with the whole coming out thing, because she wasn’t stupid and she recognized the way she reacted any time it was mentioned. Sure, she had her own feelings about all of it, but she wasn’t selfish enough to ignore how this had to feel for her girlfriend. Not that she could anyways. Remaining silent as Santana spoke, she had heard most of this in the past so while it wasn’t new, she was trying her best to genuinely hear her out this time around. Nothing she ever said was enough to push her to that thin line of just fucking coming out, so maybe she should have just left it alone. Would it have made her happy in the long run? Hell no. But it was better than them constantly arguing over it. She wanted to intervene as her girlfriend spoke, she wanted to reassure her that she could rely on her (and her parents) for support if her own wouldn’t accept her, but Santana wasn’t entirely wrong. Their relationship had been struggling before for various reasons, but the codependence hadn’t helped much. And even if she hadn’t bitched about it, Giselle had known that they couldn’t have gone on like that forever. Watching Santana rise up out of her seat, she groaned. “San, wait—” She tried, though it was no use since the Latina took off anyways. “For fuck’s sake..” She scoffed at herself. Only she could fuck up what had started as a romantic date, or something akin to that, anyways. Once the waiter came over with the champagne, she thanked him and was about to start chugging back more of it before deciding against it. Instead, she stood up and headed off to the bathroom, or bathrooms. Giselle knew Santana like the back of her hand so she was sure she wasn’t in the shared bathroom, not if she were crying, so she knocked on the door to the private one. “It’s me. I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have pressured you about coming out again, and I’m sorry.” She stated, and then sighed. “I meant what I said before about you not having to live without me. I love you, and I’m not leaving you again…even if it means having to sacrifice what I want to be with you.” She knew having to give up what she desired just for this relationship wasn’t fair, but the alternative was living without Santana again, which she didn’t want. This was choosing a lesser of two evils, so to speak. Unsure if the Latina would actually open the door if she were in tears, she knocked again. “I’ve seen you naked, so I can see you cry, you know? Now open this door before I do something outrageous — like taking this dress off before you get the chance to.” She threatened playfully.

Santana knew if she continued dangling temptation in her girlfriend’s face, eventually Giselle would jump at the opportunity to teach her a lesson by devouring her on this very table. It seemed risky, but the Latina was enjoying herself far too much to stop. For most of her life, getting what she wanted came easily. No one ever told her "no," and if they did, she convinced them to change their mind. While Santana’s parents could be strict at times, they still spoiled her rotten, so finding someone willing and brave enough to stand up to her was rare. Every time Giselle asserted her dominance, she not only found it refreshing, but it gave her goosebumps. "If you're really that eager to get me out of this dress, what's stopping you?" She questioned daringly, biting her lip in anticipation as she drank the other woman in again. "If you're worried about pressuring me, don't be. I happen to find it sexy when you take charge." A fact she was sure her girlfriend remembered based on their previous sexual encounters. Neither of them could resist giving in to each other. One direct order and the next thing the Latina knew, she was spreading her legs like butter, ready to serve herself up on a silver platter. When she noticed Giselle's eyes drop to her chest, the devilish smirk on Santana's face widened as she feigned innocence at the question being asked. "Instead of me telling you, why don't you find out for yourself? It shouldn't be very hard. I know you still remember how good I taste." Her response once again had her squeezing her thighs together, sensing the growing arousal between her legs. While her intention had been to rile Giselle up by being a tease, she too felt the weight of her words. "And if that isn't enough motivation, you already owe me a new pair of panties, seeing as the ones I'm wearing are ruined," she added. No one else had the ability to turn Santana on like this. Just the sight of the other woman had her jaw hitting the floor every time she walked into a room, but the minute they started saying filthy things to one another, she lost all inhibitions. She was so down bad that the mention of her dating someone else made the Latina scoff, as if it'd been her decision to see other people. "Nice deflection," she stated, unamused with the sudden turn of events. "If you'd rather give me shit about trying to move on after our break up, that's fine. I was an asshole to you, I deserve it. But I didn't date or hook up with anyone that entire year I was in therapy because I thought you would come back, so if you want to point judgment somewhere, maybe do it in another direction." She wasn't angry at Giselle for asking the question, but it had brought back memories of a time she'd rather not relive. The more tragic details of that story seemed like a bit too much for a (second) first date, though. Hoping her minor outburst hadn't put a damper on their evening, Santana downed more of her champagne, grateful that they were both too interested in sex to get into an argument over it. "Fine, it's possible the ocean was a bad idea. I'm all for you drowning in my pussy, but you should know, if your jaw's not sore by the end of the night, this time I'll be the one who's pissed off," the Latina pointed out. "If you want, I can find someone else to tutor you. That way, my jealousy stays at bay and you don't end up with some hot foreign exchange student. Entonces,  es un ganar-ganar  para todos."

She was approaching dangerously close bratty territory now, but rather than push her limits, she chose to laugh it off instead. Despite her disappointment, Giselle's promise of a personal wake up call had appealed to her, even if she refused to show it. While the Latina would've preferred to have her at the apartment all the time, the last several weeks had opened Santana's eyes to how quick she was to compromise to appease the other woman. "I'm holding you to that," she said earnestly. "I'm serious, if I don't wake up with your fingers inside of me, you're not leaving that bed until I'm moaning so loud the neighbors can hear." If Giselle were anywhere near as turned on as she was, that last line would've done her in, as it had for Santana just now. She didn't know how much longer she could hold it together before temptation got the better of her. No one would've noticed if she'd slipped a hand under the table to provide some temporary relief, but at the same time, she wanted her girlfriend to be the first one to touch her. After three years of separation, the ache she felt between her thighs could only be remedied by the familiar hands of the woman she'd yearned for since high school. The one who held the answers to all of her hidden desires, as well as the key to her heart. Even in the corner of the dimly lit restaurant, Santana found her breath hitching at the sight in front of her. She'd already memorized every feature of that angelic face, so her reasons for staring were purely selfish at this point. Giselle's response about the shower had been lost somewhere in her fixation, too distracted by the pang in her chest to immediately register what was being said. Leaning in, her eyes caught the other woman's gaze. "Good, because I'm not sure how much longer I can survive without seeing you naked." Her hunger was back with a vengeance before she could finish her sentence, as she reached out to trail a hand gently down Giselle's arm, basking in the warmth of her skin. She stopped at the base of her hand to intertwine their fingers together, this time bringing it to her lips to press a soft kiss there. "That seems fair," the Latina replied, in response to the new rule. "Though, if a friend had feelings for me, I probably wouldn't notice. I refuse to pay attention to other women when I'm with you." Santana wouldn't think twice about cutting someone out of her life if they interfered with her relationship, and therein lied the main difference between them. In every other scenario, she considered herself lucky to have such a caring girlfriend, but when it came to her treating other people that way, that's when Santana wished she were a tad meaner. With women, any nice gesture could be mistaken for flirting. She couldn't help but think if Giselle were more like her, they wouldn't have this issue. "I know how it makes you feel when I'm too possessive over you, so I'll try my best to tone it down to avoid starting any drama. I won't be the miserable bitch I was in high school and torment girls just for talking to you, even if most of them did have it coming." Was she wrong for what she did? Probably. Did she feel remorse over it? Not really, but the other woman didn't need to know that. "I'm still impatient, by the way. The only difference now is I'm better at hiding it. Rest assured, though. I've had the urge to rip that dress off of you the second we sat down." Meanwhile, she'd been suffering ever since.

As if her sexual frustration weren't enough, the conversation surrounding her coming out only served to torment her more. It wasn't that she had a problem rehashing everything. Santana just wasn't in the mood to reopen that wound again after the week she'd already had. Constantly having to explain the reasoning behind her decisions took a mental toll on her, and while she didn't expect Giselle to be able to read her mind, she hoped her girlfriend would pick up on the fact that she was struggling. Pinching at her nose, she tried her hardest to suppress the emotions threatening to overtake her. "I know what the bible says, but people pick and choose what to adhere to from that book all the time, and my family's no different," she replied, sighing as she ran a hand through her dark hair, often in a poor attempt to quell her nerves. "It's easy for you to say I'd be better off without them when you're not the one who has to deal with the consequences. Say I come out to my parents and they reject me. What am I supposed to do then? You can't be the only person I rely on for support when things get hard, that's too much pressure on you and our relationship. We'd never fucking survive." She already had issues with codependence, that much was clear. Santana knew if she asked more of Giselle than she could handle, it would give rise to an unhealthy dynamic between them, which already teetered on the side of toxicity (or at least it had in the past). "I'm not expecting you to wait forever, but now isn't the right time for me to come out. We just got back together, I don't want to risk driving you away again by putting more obstacles in our way. The thought of losing my family over something I can't control is bad enough, but if I lost you too, I don't think I'd ever recover. For Christ's sake, you're the love of my life, Giselle. Why should it matter when they find out?" She could sense the tears starting to well up in her eyes now, and she quickly brushed them off before getting up from her seat. Her heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest, but she ignored it temporarily. "That night at my dad's condo, you told me I never have to live without you. If that's still true...just wait for me. Please." Brushing away another tear, Santana searched around for the restrooms, then turned back around to the other woman. "I'm going to find our waiter and ask him to bring us another bottle of champagne. If I'm not back in five minutes, assume I'm reapplying mascara." She hoped her makeup wasn't ruined, but one could never be too sure. Thankfully, the boat had a private bathroom next to the communal ones, so no one else had to listen to her cry if she suddenly felt the urge to go for round two. While she felt bad leaving Giselle alone, the Latina figured the extra bottle of champagne would keep her company until she returned.

[giselle-clarke]

missionary so we can continue our argument from before

[giselle-clarke]

You being obsessed with me turns me on so much

[giselle-clarke]

ALL AMERICAN 6.01 "Things Done Changed"

[giselle-clarke]

“I have seen the best of you, and the worst of you, and I choose both.”

— Sarah Kay (via quotes-shape-us)

[giselle-clarke]

naked // ella mai photography credits: marina

[giselle-clarke]

At this point, Santana’s idea of enjoyment was about to be her own downfall, much to Giselle’s own pleasure. While she knew how her girlfriend felt about PDA, they were in the middle of the ocean and as far as she could tell, they didn’t know anyone else here so if she kissed her, or worse, it wasn’t like anyone that knew them would see it. She had amazed herself with how much restraint she was showing at this point, but the more Santana spoke and purposely aimed to turn her on, the more difficult it was for her to hold back. “Stop getting a rise out of me when you’re expecting me to respect your boundaries. I wasn’t entirely kidding about taking you right here on this table.” She challenged, and if pushed enough, she’d make good on it. The Latina might not have been keen on doing anything publicly but with how much she was testing her luck now, she was on the verge of talking her way into becoming Giselle’s dessert. Watching Santana lean forward, her eyes obviously dropped right to her cleavage, as it always did whenever her girlfriend practically dangled them in her face. Her mouth suddenly went dry when she spoke up again. “Are you wet right now?” She asked, gazing right back into those eyes she loved so much. She felt like she was drooling now, waiting with baited breath to know just how turned on the thought made Santana, though it was probably best that she didn't know as she was far too touch starved to simply sit on that information until they docked back on shore. Luckily the Latina seemed to be considering what would happen once they got off the boat too, and Giselle was nodding in agreement until that last line, but she just decided to brush it off. Well, mostly anyways. “Speaking of getting things elsewhere, didn’t you actually date someone else after me? Am I supposed to believe that you weren’t having sex with her?” She asked curiously, sipping more of her own champagne now. While she could mask her own jealousy better than Santana could (though anyone could, to be totally fair), she hadn’t been thrilled to learn that she’d dated someone else. She rolled her eyes as Santana whined about the ocean thing, though it was adorable that she’d want her to consider such. Downing more champagne, she shrugged nonchalantly. “Me drowning in your pussy is safer than me drowning in the damn ocean, or being eaten by sharks, San. And as for me getting a different Spanish tutor, them not being as hot as you would be a great thing. Means I’ll be able to focus and won’t get wet just hearing them say anything in Spanish. I’ll finally learn something.” She teased, winking over at the other woman.

She knew that Santana wasn’t wrong about them doing anything by the book, since they had never been keen on taking their time to do anything they’d wanted. They had a little more freedom now than they did then, and they had apparently matured more, so maybe they could potentially make living together work now? Giselle took in Santana’s preference, and she couldn’t blame her for such, but she clocked the hint of disappointment in her tone. “Let’s see how we manage this first week back home, and then we’ll go from there. But any time that I don’t spend the night, I promise to give you a wake up call — in person.” She promised. It would benefit them both, after all, so she wouldn’t reject that kind of suggestion. They also had three years worth of time to make up for, and their preset plans to spend the entire next week in San’s bed together was only the start of them relearning each other, which she was yearning for. How she’d managed to survive for even this long should have been studied, in her opinion anyways. A faint smirk tugged at the corner of her lips when Santana gave her a direct order. Even if she pretended to hate it when her girlfriend bossed her around, she’d found that it also sent chills down her spine, like it was in this moment. “No, no, the shower’s fine.” She answered, and while she didn’t know if they could make it to the shower entirely, she’d attempt it anyway, at least for the sake of the other two occupying the same space. Nodding along as Santana seemed to be dropping the kiss thing, which had caused more problems than it had even been worth, she figured they were over most of the easier hurdles now. Thankfully. “We can make that a rule, you know? If we find out a friend has feelings for us, we cut that shit off right then and there. That way we can avoid ending up in another situation like this.” It would limit the chance of unwanted advances happening again, which Giselle herself would like to never have to experience again, so she wasn’t putting that one up for debate now. She downed some more champagne at the mention of women hitting on her, thinking back to some of the complaints the Latina had about her behavior when it came to other women. They were officially back together now so as much as she could blame Santana’s jealousy on her insecurities alone, she knew she triggered some of it as well. “You don’t have to make that compromise alone. I know that me flirting with other women bothers you, so I’ll work on not doing that anymore. I’ll also be honest with you when women flirt with me, and I will make sure they know that I’m yours. The last thing I need is you taking it that far.” She groaned, and although she would have loved to see Santana lose her shit (which was pretty hot, in her opinion), Giselle wasn’t going to let it go that far. “Don’t call me lucky though. I miss you being very impatient. But it’s cool, we needed to wait until we were in a much better place but now that we’re here, I fully expect you to rip me out of my clothes whenever you get the urge.” She beamed at the thought of them being just as anguished to get each other naked, to explore each other’s bodies, and to fulfill desires that clearly hadn’t been met in their time apart. They had suffered for far too long, after all. 

Maybe bringing up the whole coming out thing right now wasn’t ideal, but it wasn’t like Giselle could ignore the one thing that had led to their break up years ago. They had been toxic back then, sure, but they somehow dealt with every other problem and moved past it or pushed it aside so that they could stay together. But Santana not being ready to come out was the one thing they’d fought over constantly, and as patient as she was, even Giselle didn’t know if she could wait forever. She’d consider anything for the Latina, but even she would reach a breaking point where she’d have to choose herself…much like she’d done before. She chewed on the inside of her cheek as she let her girlfriend explain herself, and voice the same old concerns that they’d discussed before, which she could understand. She knew everyone’s coming out story wouldn’t play out the way her own did, and although she was extremely grateful that her entire family was accepting and even celebrated with a ridiculous dinner party, she’d always wondered what it would have been like for her if it hadn’t gone that way. But the difference here was that she’d known without a doubt that she wouldn’t have hid that part of herself out of fear of them not reacting that way. “You said that like this is something that needs fixing.” She finally spoke once Santana had finished. “Being gay is just as much of a sin as having a mistress, according to the bible, so if your dad can get away with that and nobody disowned him, what’s the problem?” Giselle asked rhetorically, and if her girlfriend would let her, she’d barge into the next Lopez family gathering and ask that exact question herself. “I don’t want you to come out just for me or for us, San. You constantly go out of your way to make them happy, but what about you? If they don’t talk to you ever again, then so be it. You have me, you have friends, and you have my parents who pretty much adore you more than they do me at this point. If they can’t accept you — the real you that loves me and has talked about having a future with me — then fuck them. I’m trying to give you time to come out to them, but we both know that the longer you wait, the harder it’ll be for you to just rip that bandaid off and you’ll just keep asking me to be patient. I can’t wait or put what I want on hold forever.” She sighed as she moved her now empty glass aside and just picked up the bottle instead, bringing it to her lips and chugging back a significant amount now. She’d need to go to AA after this week for how much she’d been relying on alcohol to get through it, but she’d deal with that issue later. “It’s fine though. We’ll just pretend it’s not the biggest elephant in the room like we did for four years.”

Judging by Giselle's reaction, it seemed likely that Santana's lack of subtlety had stirred something within her. The Latina didn't need to see under the table to know she'd achieved exactly what she wanted. If the other woman's mind hadn't been full of unholy thoughts before, it surely would be by the time she finished with her teasing. Usually she’d reserve this sort of candidness for when they were in private, but as the champagne flowed and her confidence swelled, Santana forgot about everyone else for a moment and chose not to allow her fear to control her. If she had any guts at all, she would’ve leaned across the table and kissed Giselle out of sheer desperation. Instead though, she settled with inflicting more torture on her. "You could argue it wasn’t, but I rather enjoyed it," she stated amusingly, her words accompanied by a smug grin. No one could’ve guessed just how aroused she was at the thought of straddling that perfect fucking face, firm hands gripping her waist as she ground her hips down on top of her. The image alone sent a heat wave between Santana’s thighs as she tried her best to remain composed. Folding her arms across the table, she leaned in close as her brown hues found their way to Giselle’s. "I can’t help that you’re an expert with your tongue, or that after three years apart, the memory of us fucking still makes me wet." Santana knew if she touched her now, she'd come undone in minutes. She missed the feeling of the other woman's hands on her skin and the way their bodies fit perfectly together like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Memories of them were all she thought about these days. Most were of happy moments, except for times like this, when all she could imagine were the two of them having sex in her parents' swimming pool. "The minute we get off this boat, I'm making up for all the time we lost while you were away. You're going to feel so good that when it's over, you'll wonder why the fuck you ever bothered getting it anywhere else." The last part came out a bit harsher than expected, but knowing Giselle, it only served to turn her on more. The thought of anyone else touching what had been hers for so long left Santana with a bitter taste in her mouth. Thankfully, the champagne helped cure her of that jealousy (somewhat) as she downed another glass. Most of what was said to her after that got muddled as she tried to focus her attention elsewhere. When Giselle finally finished talking, Santana seemed displeased, irked by the fact her girlfriend didn't appear to share her willingness to do just about anything for sex. "You'll go down on me in the middle of a restaurant but you draw the line at testing your luck in the ocean? You disappoint me, Ms. Clarke. Forget me being your Spanish tutor. You can find someone else to teach you the basics if you're not a fan of my methods. It's a shame they won't be as hot as me though," the Latina said with a click of her tongue, emphasizing her disapproval. She sunk back in her chair then, content with Giselle's decision to fire her if it meant she could be on the receiving end of whatever was being taught. Her accusation that she'd purposely been saying things to seduce her brought a smile back to her lips, but she quickly shrugged it off. "What can I say? It just comes naturally."

Santana may have been jumping the gun by proposing they move in together as soon as they returned home, but she'd grown tired of waiting. Not to mention, she'd had to endure the last week of sleeping in separate beds, so the idea of spending another night without each other seemed asinine at this point. "Since when have we ever done anything by the book?" She asked, believing it to be a fair question. Partly why their relationship had been so dysfunctional in the past had to do with Santana being in the closet, but since coming to terms with most of her insecurities, there were far less things holding her back. "I'd prefer it if we could sleep in the same bed from now on. I can't fault you for having reservations, though. Just let me know if you change your mind, okay?" As much as she wished she could deny Giselle of anything she wanted, all of her objections fell silent in favor of the woman she loved. "I should warn you though, if you're not going to be spending the night, I expect an early wake up call. Preferably in person so I can tell you good morning properly, but I'll settle for a phone call too." Santana didn't feel the need to elaborate further, as she was sure her intentions were obvious. The morning they'd woken up at her dad's condo, she'd wanted nothing more than to spend all day in that bed, relearning how their bodies melded together and pressing her lips to every inch of bare skin. "We're showering as soon as we get back to the hut," she corrected, not even leaving it up for debate. "I still have saltwater in my hair from the beach and you promised to help me rinse it, remember? Unless you don't believe we can make it that far? In which case, I'm fine with doing it anywhere." Given all the problems that arose following that evening, they were probably wise for holding off on sex. It hadn't helped with her irritability, but at least their relationship was still intact. Now, however, the Latina couldn't think of a better way to enjoy the rest of their time in Mexico. All she had to do was make it through this dinner without sparking an argument, which was only made slightly more difficult by Giselle's need to bring up the Winter Ball. Again. "You're right. It's not fair to you to be stuck in the middle, especially when it's my insecurities that are the issue. And it's not about Britt either, although I will mend things with her because I'm never going to force you to stop being friends with someone. Unless they really do have feelings for you, then you're never allowed to see them again," Santana teased, despite some underlying truth behind her statement. "Obviously, there's always going to be women who hit on you, but as long as you're open with me about it, I'm willing to overlook my jealousy to avoid any more unnecessary drama." At the end of the day, it didn't matter to her what other women's motivations were. Whether platonic or romantic, she couldn't care less. She hated it all the same. "Be sure to mention you have a girlfriend too. That way if they try anything, I'm justified in going all Lima Heights on their ass." She knew she'd be reprimanded for that last bit, but Santana chose not to worry about it as she revisited the image of Giselle naked in her mind. God, she really needed to get laid. "That dress would already be on the floor if you'd told me how you felt sooner," she pointed out. "You're lucky I've grown more patient over the years."

While she wouldn't say she'd mastered it, Santana was far less impulsive now than in her adolescent years. She still lost her temper at times and made reckless decisions, but for the most part, she'd matured beyond that. Patience had always been a trait she admired in Giselle, as the other woman displayed it once again with Santana’s hesitation to reveal her sexuality to her parents. Admittedly, the bottle was a bit concerning, but she couldn’t blame her for needing to be drunk for this conversation. "It was never brought up in therapy," she admitted, figuring it best not to beat around the bush. "We dealt with other issues instead. And...I guess a part of me was scared to reveal that about myself. After we broke up, I didn't see a need to even broach the subject. You were the only one pushing me to come out of the closet, so after you left, my motivation sort of flew out the window." Santana understood the importance of coming out for her own benefit instead of someone else's, but the truth was, none of it mattered to her if she couldn't be with Giselle. She'd probably hide in the closet forever if the prospect of marriage and kids hadn't been something she wanted. Getting to that point wouldn't be easy, but at least it seemed more plausible now that she had a good reason for upending her life. "When I decide to come out, you should know that it's not going to go well. That's not me making assumptions either. There's a real possibility my family would never speak to me again." At that thought, her mind went to her abuela. The elder woman had made it known how she felt about homosexuality, and none of it instilled much confidence in Santana. It essentially felt like she had to choose whose love was more important to her, which only left her feeling more conflicted. "I don't expect you to understand where I'm coming from," the Latina stated, her tone genuine but with a hint of sadness in her expression. "All I ask is that you're respectful of my decision and you allow me the time to work it out on my own. I'm aware you want to help me, and I love you for it, but this isn't something you can fix. I know that probably sucks...I'm sorry."

[giselle-clarke]

Giselle: mhm, sure does. Giselle: ...you conveniently left that out last time?? why would you do that? Giselle: strange isn't exactly the word i'd use for it. Giselle: but whatever, if you and your mom want to keep dealing with it, then so be it. i'll just leave it alone and let you both keep being miserable. Giselle: i'm scolding you so you never do something that stupid ever again. Giselle: am i supposed to give a shit about your neighbors? i don't. but fine, you can have whatever you want after you get these stitches.

Santana : i've been trying that since i was 16. she doesn't listen to me. Santana : remind you of anyone? Santana : the tub also has a whirlpool setting. i probably should've mentioned that before. Santana : it's more complicated than that. i know it may seem strange to you, but there are certain things my family won't tolerate. it's not ideal, but as long as i do what he says he'll leave me alone. Santana : you scolding me won't accomplish anything either. you know that, right? Santana : after seeing those photos from mexico, i'd settle for your fingers inside of me. besides, if we do what you want my neighbors will file a noise complaint.

[giselle-clarke]

Giselle: did you try talking some sense into her? Giselle: i was hoping you'd say that. i'm mostly looking forward to taking full advantage of that shower this time though. Giselle: what's the point in keeping the peace if it's only hurting you and your mom? i do have very terrible ideas, but i can't tell you via text. that's how all the dumb criminals get caught, and i'm too cute for prison! Giselle: it's not, but it's still fucking stupid and now you need stitches, so what did it accomplish? nothing. Giselle: a repeat of sunday, just without the gag, and with a bigger dildo. all of my good toys are now under your bed, by the way.

Santana : i thought it might be. Santana : she probably mistakes it as him finally giving a shit, but i know better. he'll be back to his old ways eventually. his ego's just bruised right now. Santana : we're christening every surface this time. i hope you know that. Santana : that sounds like a terrible idea, but i'm open to hearing you out. and it's not that i can't stand up to him..i'm just trying to keep the peace. my mom doesn't need us at each other's throats. Santana : you have to admit, it's not the worst thing i've done. just out of curiosity though, what were you thinking? Santana : thank you.